SCATTERED SHOTS
by SLYSWN
Summary: AIxICHI, GRIMMxICHI, NNOIxICHI, KENxICHI, STARRKxICHI, BYAxICHI A/N 2/22/14 YES I'M LATE I KNOW...BUT AT LAST LIL' MASCOT IS COMPLETE AND READY TO BE VIEWED. PLEASE ENJOY!
1. TAXI, TAXI

**SHOT #1**

.

~SLY~

()()()

**Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH. I am merely another obsessed fan, especially for the AiIchi pairing.**

A/N so I was brainstorming ideas (much like always) and I thought wouldn't it be kind of fun to make Aizen a Taxi Driver and have Ichigo be his passenger, and then this piece was born. Not quite the way I originally envisioned it but I'm more or less satisfied with this one-shot.

**This story is dedicated to BonneNuit because she spins out UKE!Ichi fics faster than any other author.**

**Warnings: AU, AizenxIchigo, Language, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, run-ons, weirdness/crakish, (not horribly OOC actually pretty canon as far as characterization goes at least I think) anyway, brief mention of OthersIchigo and whatever mistakes I usually make in my stories.**

()()()

TAXI, TAXI

(Ichigo)

**K**urosaki Ichigo never claimed to have the patience of a saint but he was pretty damn patient.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said about his two female companions.

"Please hurry Kurosaki-kun, we're going to miss the train."

_Damn. Couldn't a man take a piss in peace?_

"I'll be out in a minute, Inoue."

"This isn't the time to pet your monkey Ichigo. We need to go, now!"

Ichigo felt his face grow warm. Honestly who talked like that?

"Shut up Rukia! Unlike you I'm not some sex crazed psycho who has dirty thoughts on the brain 24/7."

The sounds of giggling and whispering reached Ichigo's ears just before the door he was standing behind was kicked open.

"Time to go." the duo sing-songed in unison.

Ichigo had barely gotten the zipper on his pants up before the two girls were dragging him out of the restroom.

()()()

"Hurry Kurosaki-kun, hurry."

"Ichigo move your ass or I'll move it for you!"

"Would you stop bossing me around, I'm not your damn bell boy!"

Despite his protesting, Ichigo quickly ran to catch up with the two girls.

Unfortunately, Inoue had been right, they had just missed the train.

"Damn it!" Ichigo cursed.

"Why don't we just wait for the next one?" suggested Rukia

Ichigo shook his head "No that won't work, we don't have the kind of time," he glanced at his watch. The panther was glowing a neon blue color, which meant it was nearly 6:00 pm.

Inoue let out a girlish squeal at the sight of the pretty glowing panther.

Sometimes Ichigo wondered if his schoolmate was really a 12 year-old girl trapped in a 19 year old girls' body.

"Ooh that is really cute Kurosaki-kun," she gazed up at him fondly "I had no idea you were a fan of the **Happy Hollow Franchise**."

Rukia snorted, "That's our Ichigo, he just loves **Happy Hollows**."

"Shut up Rukia! You know damn well that this was a gift from Yuzu."

Silver-blue eyes danced with mirth "Sure, that's what all the boys are saying these days. Tell me again just what was the name of that show you and Renji were so entranced with the other day**? Pocky Pals** or something?"

"Ooh I love Pocky Pals, especially that one episode where Sza and Lu hooked up, it was so romantic," Inoue sighed dreamily "What's your favorite pairing Kurosaki-kun?"

"I don't have a favorite anything," Ichigo grumbled with lightly pinked cheeks.

Rukia sidled up next to the pouting boy and pinched his cheeks together. "Don't be such a grumpy puss Ichigo, Inoue and I are very open-minded women and we think it's perfectly fine if you're a **Pocky Pals** fan-boy, right Inoue?"

"Absolutely. Kuchiki-san and I support you no matter what Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo knew he really couldn't stay angry with either girl.

Seeing as Rukia was his ex (a relationship that had never gone anywhere past hand holding and lightly barely there butterfly kisses on the cheek) and Inoue was his headache inducing but forever sweet longtime next door neighbor.

Both girls were important to him. Just like all of his friends were. If he really disliked it he would've stopped associating with the duo long ago.

Taking another glance down at his watch, Ichigo came to the obvious conclusion. He should've thought of it from the start.

"We're taking a cab."

"A cab as in a taxi?" Rukia teased.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and reached for both Rukia and Inoue's numerous bags. Part of the reason they were running late was due to the duo deciding they had wanted to do some last minute shopping.

"Hurry up or I'll leave you behind."

"Wait! Kurosaki-kun, don't leave!"

Ichigo resumed his quick pace, knowing the girls wouldn't take long to catch up to him.

"I sure hope they have food when we get there."

"Mm hmm yes like some multigrain pepperoni berry muffins or some coconut raisin potatoes."

"You girls are going to get fact if you keep eating like that!"

Rukia and Inoue stopped walking and turned to glare at him.

Well with Inoue it was really more of a sad frown because Inoue didn't have it in her to get angry—but still

The bottom line was he had angered the women with his comments.

Ichigo knew this but simply did not care.

It was pay back for their earlier teasing. Plain and Simple.

"You'll apologize if you know what's good for you Ichigo!" Rukia thrust a 12 inch wide ruler (which had seemingly just appeared out of no where) toward his face in a threatening manner.

Ichigo eyed the object warily before calmly removing it from the raven-haired beauty.

Rukia stomped her feet like a child just then and Ichigo felt his face crack a smile.

_'This is the girl who once captured my attention like no other.'_ he thought fondly.

"Stop grinning you idiot!"

He felt the girl bop him on the head with something bulky. Looking over he noted that it was her sequined handbag.

Byakuya would not be happy to know that a gift he had given to Rukia was being used as a weapon.

Ichigo snorted at the thought of Rukia's prim and proper (_but ridiculously sexy)_ brother before Inoue's voice cut into his thoughts with a cry of "Quick over there, it's a taxi!"

()()()

(Aizen)

"Hm what do we have here?"

**A**izen Sousuke adjusted his rear view mirror so he could get a better look at the 3 figures heading towards his taxi.

Well, technically it wasn't his taxi so much as it was borrowed.

He was really a man of high society and usually traveled around in private jets and limousines.

But even high society types such as himself, could grow utterly bored with the same routine day in and day out. And so he had decided to switch things up a bit.

Earlier that same morning, he came up with a plan.

He would mingle with the commoners for the next 24 hours and what better way was there to mingle with commoners than by becoming a taxi driver?

And so he made a few calls, gave his personal chauffeur the day off and before 9 o'clock had rolled around, he had picked up his first passenger.

The first passenger had been a woman in her mid-thirties, not a single feature on her face had captured his attention. Once he dropped her off at her stop, three teenage schoolgirls had climbed into the backseat, giggling and smacking gum in an obscene manner. They had pressed their cherry painted lips up to the foggy glass and left kiss marks all over the freshly washed windows.

After the trio departed, an elderly woman and her pet rooster had entered and shed feathers all over the upholstery.

Throughout the rest of his day, Aizen had driven around nearly every type of lower class female scum and annoyances imaginable around. Not stopping even once, as members of his own species (males) had made a move for his borrowed taxi.

Burrowed or not, Aizen refused to mingle with male passengers (their foul stench nearly overwhelming even from twenty blocks away) – until tonight that, that is.

The 3 figures had finally gotten close enough to the borrowed vehicle. A trio of college kids, 2 female, 1 male. The girls were pretty enough. The first girl was tall with long auburn brown hair and large breasts. The second girl was shorter with wispy blue-tinted bangs and shoulder length raven colored hair.

The third, the boy…ah now he was a sight.

A scowl marring his face, shockingly bright orange hair (which had been revealed once he had lowered his hood) Cinnamon and coffee colored eyes and a rough but still seemingly boyish jaw-line. Body built like that of a swimmer or perhaps a track runner?

Toned and Firm.

_Positively Delicious._

It had been awhile since Aizen had last felt like playing with something that most definitely was not his.

He smirked. He was going to make sure that this was a night the boy wouldn't forget.

()()()

(Ichigo)

"Good evening," came the greeting from a rich and smooth baritone voice, " And what is your intended destination?"

Ichigo frowned, ready to just grab the girls and hail down another taxi. Something didn't seem quite right about this guy,

Inoue on the other hand seemed to have no problem with the man "Ah good evening. We were on our way to Quincy Street, our friend is headlining a fashion show and we were going to show our support but we missed our train and—

As the girl rambled on, Ichigo recalled something his childhood friend, Tatsuki had once told him _"Always go with your gut instinct_"

Well right now his gut instinct was telling him two things.

1) Men were bad. For every nice guy there were at least 50 bad ones lurking around the corner.

2) This man was clearly no ordinary taxi driver if he was even a taxi driver at all, that is.

It was doubtful. Ichigo wasn't taking any chances. He would not let harm come to his friends.

Inoue was way too trusting. She'd probably hitch a ride with a crazed serial killer just because she felt like being adventurous and loved to introduce herself to new people.

Rukia (who had joined in on Inoue's conversation) was less naïve but she too had her own bad habits. Having grown up around stone-faced men all her life, the raven beauty had convinced herself that every member of the male population were just overgrown puppies underneath.

All bark and no bite, seemingly harmless. Just a few belly rubs and they'd turn to putty in her hands.

Ichigo stepped behind Rukia and hissed urgently in her ear "We need to get out of here, there is something off about this guy."

Rukia ignored him and continued on in the rather pointless conversation about mushroom puppets.

The two girls laughed along with the "_taxi driver"_ and Ichigo felt like ripping his hair out. He glanced down at his watch for the third time that night. The panther was now glowing red.

Ishida was going to kill him.

"Rukia, Inoue enough chit-chat we need to get going."

Inoue jumped in surprise whether from Ichigo's voice or something else, he couldn't be sure.

He watched in horror as the buxom brunette stuck her head inside the open window.

'What the hell is she doing?'

"Is that _**Higher Ambition**_ I smell?" she asked with excited glee.

"**Higher Ambition** for men? Isn't that the same cologne Nii-sama wears?" questioned Rukia.

Inoue nodded "The very same one, only I believe this one is from the winter collection, come on Kuchiki-san, take a sniff."

The "taxi driver" didn't seem to have any objections with random girls sniffing him but Ichigo was having none of it!

He pushed the duo to the side and stuck his own head through the window, glaring viciously as he took in the man's features.

Hair swept back with a single strand hanging loose in the front of his forehead (_on anyone else, it would have looked beyond ridiculous but this guy—he made it work!)_ Eyes, sharp, dark, mischievous, rich brown in color. But something darker lurked beneath those eyes—and what ever it was Ichigo was damn sure it wasn't anything good.

The man's face had an aristocratic but young look to it. Broad cheekbones, nose in perfect proportion, lips –Ichigo shook his head, no there was absolutely no need to study the mans lips.

He took in the rest of the strangers' appearance.

In short the man reminded him of the nighttime dramas his mother loved to watch. He seemed well suited for boardrooms, banquets or quite possibly an illegal underground drug ring?

Clothing, color coordinated, perfectly pressed, wrinkle free.

Hands void of scars, calluses and any other blemishes. Nails, clipped and buffed,

_'Taxi driver my ass!'_

He came to a decision.

"Rukia, Inoue get in the back, I'll sit up front."

Rukia turned to the berry, smirking knowingly "Oh Ichigo you naughty boy," she taunted.

"Naughty boy! What the hell are you talking about? Just get in the backseat Rukia, we're late enough as it is."

"Why are you so angry Kurosaki-kun?"

Inoue's expression looked pained. Ichigo felt like an ass. He softened his voice "I'm not angry Inoue," he attempted a smile, "I just think it would be safer for everyone if you and Rukia sit in the back."

He heard Rukia snort before he felt the tug on his jacket. He groaned as she pulled him away from the curb.

Ichigo glared at her "This is not funny Rukia!"

Silver-blue eyes danced with merriment "Oh actually it is Ichigo, in fact I haven't felt this amused in a long time." She stepped up to him, invading his personal space, as she added in a sing-song voice "Somebody as a _crush_."

"I – What I do not have a crush!"

"Oh you do Ichigo, its printed all over your berry tinted cheeks right now," she continued in her sing-song tone "You think Aizen-san is _hot_!"

"Aizen? Who the hell is—

"Ooh I couldn't help overhearing, well to be honest I got lonely," Inoue smiled approvingly "I can see it now, should I phone Ishida-kun and have him and Sado-kun arrange a doubles dinner date for the four of you?"

"A lovely suggestion Inoue, I'll call Nii-sama and Shuuhei and then all 6 of them can go out together."

"Yes that's a good idea but you know what would be an even better idea?" the bubbly brunette paused dramatically " Let's contact Tatsuki-chan and –

"STOP! Inoue, Rukia listen to me I don't have a cr—

The girls weren't even paying attention to him anymore, they were making their way back the waiting vehicle, whispering and giggling amongst them selves.

Ichigo scowled deeply but quickly caught up to the duo, grabbing the door and opening it before Rukia could. He ushered both girls inside, careful to not let the hems on their long skirts catch on the door.

He then went to the front side ready to wrench the door open with more force than necessary but faltered slightly upon realizing this Aizen person had beaten him to it.

Scowl increasing ten fold, Ichigo entered the taxi and slammed it shut.

()()()

(Aizen)

Aizen was highly amused. The boy was better than he had expected.

_'My what a magnificent temper.'_

The boy didn't seem to be the least bit happy with his current predicament. He alternated between glaring at the red stoplights, his watch and Aizen himself.

"I don't trust you for a minute."

The boy spoke loud enough so he could hear but low enough so his two female companions wouldn't hear. Not that it would have made much of a difference either way, since it seemed the two young ladies had convinced themselves that this boy was to be his future bride.

_'A lovely thought indeed.'_

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo noticed the man watching his two friends and snarled "Stop looking at them, you old pervert!"

In all honesty the man didn't look a day over 28 but Ichigo didn't give a damn about things like that.

In his eyes, anyone over 20 was a damn pervert! And he was having none of it!

"I'll rip your damn throat out if you even think of touching Inoue or Rukia!"

The man /_**Aizen/**_ his brain corrected, didn't seem to be even a tad bit flustered by Ichigo's threat. On the contrary, he looked amused.

'Fucking Bastard!'

"You're very protective of your female companions and I can see why," eyes flicked to the mirror "such beauties."

Ichigo narrowed his own eyes at the man.

"Don't talk about Inoue and Rukia like their some kind of disgusting concubines, you asshole!"

"Concubines? My you have quite the imagination, Kurosaki-kun was it?"

The bastard was toying with him. Ichigo was 2.5 seconds away from smashing the man's handsome face into the steering wheel. Imagined all that lovely blood gushing from that perfect face. Shirosaki (his other personality, who currently lay in hibernation) would be proud!

()()()

(Aizen)

The boy had quite the mouth on him. Foul and Lovely mouth that it was Aizen wished to kiss it but first he had to make sure the girls were completed distracted.

They didn't seem like the voyeuristic types but—one never knew.

Besides which, he had a feeling that the boy was not a fan of PDA. He would want privacy.

So with this in mind…

"Ladies I know it must be incredibly boring back there. Perhaps I could interest you in a movie as it seems we're going to be stuck in traffic for awhile."

Inoue nodded enthusiastically "We'd love to watch a movie right Kuchiki-san?"

"Yes we would. What kind of movie are you in the mood for Inoue?"

"Something with romance and uh dragons maybe?"

"A fantasy film then?"

"Yes only not those really old fashioned films but something more modern day like Enchanted?"

The girls eyes lit up like a child on Christmas.

"Ooh I love that movie!" Rukia gushed.

"Very well. Enchanted it is."

With a click here and a wave there, a large flat screen appeared before the two girls, blocking most of their view of the front. Another wave, and a built in sound- proof wall separated the back and front completely.

That done Aizen could now focus his complete attention on the boy.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo was still dreaming up different scenarios in which he could use in order to beat the shit out of the fake taxi driver when it hit him-he hadn't heard a single peep out Rukia or Inoue in quite awhile.

Suddenly fearing the worst, Ichigo snapped to attention and turned around only to find a large wall now blocking his view from the backseat.

'What the hell?'

He pounded on the wall with his fists "Oi, Inoue, Rukia are you guys okay?"

No answer. He pounded harder and shouted once more "Answer me!"

"They can't hear you Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo whirled around and snarled viciously at the man "What the hell do you mean by that?"

The man was moving his lips but nothing was registering.

Before Ichigo knew it the worst-case scenarios had come to mind.

Had Aizen gone completely against all of his warnings and put his hands on the girls? Had Rukia and Inoue been drugged and dumped off on the side of a road somewhere while he had just sat here and day dreamed? What if Aizen sold them off to one of his Yakuza associates? Were Inoue and Rukia now rotting away in some fucking dungeon chained to the wall like…

"You really shouldn't frown so much Kurosaki-kun, its not healthy."

Aizen's voice cut in on his thoughts.

He sounded so fucking casual, so sickeningly at ease with everything, while Ichigo was about to lose his damn mind!

No—he had lost it and now his hands were around the mans' neck, squeezing tightly, cutting off the air supply "Now you listen you to me you sick fuck, if you don't pull the car over right now and tell me where my friends are I swear to god I will kill you!"

()()()

(Aizen)

The boys' strength was incredible.

It made him even more delicious.

Aizen had no interest in the weak still-

He wanted to make something quite clear.

He had absolutely no interest in the two women sitting in the backseat. He had tried to explain this to the boy a few minutes ago but it seemed the boys' thoughts had been elsewhere.

Carefully, easily, he pried the boys' hands away from his neck, meeting that angry (slightly crazed) gaze head on.

Smirking just the slightest when the boys' gaze flickered and changed into something softer.

()()()

(Ichigo)

For reasons that he couldn't explain Ichigo suddenly felt light headed. Kinda fuzzy and warm. Just what the hell was-? He pulled away from the man and frowned down at his hands.

He settled back into his seat and let out a sigh.

Less than a split second later…

_'Damn it! Why does it suddenly feel so fuckin' stuffy in here?'_

Clearly no longer in his right mind (assuming he had one to begin with) Ichigo found himself taking off his winter jacket and his long sleeve mesh shirt. Leaving himself in nothing more than a tight fitted tee and his corduroy pants.

Then, against his will (because he is quite sure that if he was in control of his body, he would not be doing this) he leaned over and rested his head against the man's shoulder.

_'This is rather nice. This person, Aizen, is quite comfy.'_

A few minutes later, a hand is stroking the back of his neck, then sliding up to card fingers through his forever-unruly orange hair.

_'Nice. Very Nice.'_ Ichigo smiles _'Mother does this too.'_

()()()

(Aizen)

The boys' hair was unexpectedly soft and truly an incredible color.

Aizen wondered not for the first time that night if the color was natural.

It was possible, rare but possible.

Only one way to find out.

_'Now how should I go about this?'_

A smirk.

'_It would be best not to startle the boy. Slowly, gradually, a nice even tempo. Make him fall.'_

()()()

(Ichigo)

The hands (when had a second one been added anyway?) were drifting down to his neck again but it felt different somehow. While not entirely comfortable with the switch, Ichigo found he really didn't have the desire to stop the man. He shivered a bit but reasoned that it was probably because he had discarded half of his clothes—nothing else.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Shirosaki had woken up and was now bitching

_**This ain't normal, stupid King, snap out of it!**_

Ichigo ignored it.

He knew how out of character this was for him. He was not the type to sit there ideally and let some "fake taxi driver" stroke him like a kitten. He was not the type to let out a sigh of content as warm lips danced along his collarbone. And he damn sure was not the type to squeal in surprised delight as hands made their way inside his shirt!

Hell he'd never even gone out on an official date. (Even when he and Rukia had hooked up, they had never gone out alone, always having one or several of their friends tag along.)

He had never felt the urge to kiss her. Nor had he ever wished to explore her special feminine treasures.

Even just the thought had felt weird, wrong some how.

He had been a lousy boyfriend. Honestly never deserved Rukia in the first place.

He had often wondered deep down in the most secret depths of his heart if he had every truly thought of Rukia in a romantic sense or had he just been using her as a Byakuya stand in?

Wondered if Rukia knew and secretly resented him for it.

And what about Inoue? He was well aware about the crush his lifetime next-door neighbor had on him.

Perhaps he should've just hooked up with the girl and made her happy?

But no, the very thought had repulsed/still repulsed him to this day. It would be like dating his sister. Wrong in every way.

It hadn't stopped there.

Throughout his 19 years of life, especially during his early teens, members from both sexes had set out in hopes of seducing him.

And he had shot down every single one of them.

Even here now in the present day, Ichigo had a gang of admirers/stalkers.

There was no other way to describe the group. They were foreign exchange students who wore matching jackets, had similar tattoos and enjoyed getting a rise out of him.

The first of which was Starrk, a lazy eyed narcoleptic who had no qualms about breaking into his dorm room and snapping pictures of him while he slept.

The second was Ulquiorra, a seemingly expressionless individual who wore way too much damn eye shadow and often blackmailed him into cross-dressing.

The third, Halibel, a female exhibitionist who enjoyed pulling down his pants at every turn.

Fourth, came Nel, another female who thought it was cute to talk like a baby, dress like some character in the Amazon and thrust her humongous boobs in his face.

And last but certainly not least, Grimmjow, a foul-mouthed, blue-haired, half-Canadian senior who just wouldn't take no for an answer and constantly attempted to feel him up in between classes.

'Course Grimmjow was, if Ichigo was going to be completely honest with himself, attractive and often the star in a few of his wet dreams but still...

According to rumors

Grimmjow also had a bad habit. He liked to play. Ichigo refused to be anyone's toy!

_'That's right. I'm not a fucking toy!'_

()()()

(Aizen)

Everything had been going well—according to plan.

The writhing, the gasping, the whimpering.

But then—it had stopped and the boy seemed distracted.

Then distraction turned to anger.

The youth had ripped himself out of Aizen's arms and snarled viciously.

()()()

(Ichigo)

"Don't fucking touch me you perverted asshole! I don't know what the hell you just did to me a few minutes ago, some kind of mind trickery or something—don't really give a shit but you'd better not do it again or so help I'll—

Without warning, deep pools of brown. Rich deep pools of brown suddenly seemed to be the only thing that mattered. Whatever Ichigo had been rambling on about seemed distant, unimportant.

The only thing that mattered was the owner of those deep pools of brown.

()()()

(Aizen)

The boy looked drunk.

Eyes glazed over.

Body swaying back and fourth, back and fourth before falling into his lap.

Aizen was reminded of a puppy or a kitten just then.

He amused himself with a vision of the boy wearing a set of fluffy ears and a tail for a few minutes.

Then he lifted the boys' head up out of his lap and finally claimed those lips.

()()()

(Ichigo)

If Ichigo had known kissing was going to be this good, he would have done it ages ago. He can't stop the moan slipping from his mouth.

The sensations running through him, ah nothing can properly describe it.

The feeling of a warm tongue sliding against his own, he's nearly jumping out of his seat and into the man's lap.

But that would be too embarrassing. Even through his lust filled haze, Ichigo had enough common sense and control not to let these strange, new impulses over come him.

And so he pulls away and roughly wipes the back of his mouth with his hand.

He scowls when he realizes that he can still taste Aizen. Scowling more fiercely at said bastard who once again seems entirely too amused with the situation.

He makes the mistake of meeting those deep brown eyes once again and before he knows it…he's falling

Once again strange urges over come Ichigo. His skin is on fire, his mouth is dry, and he's getting hard.

A split second later (barely a blink!) he finds himself being pushed down, pinned underneath the man.

And all he can think is

_'I want this!'_

()()()

(Aizen)

The boy is squirming, gasping, panting and begging for some type of release.

He looks beyond flustered.

Cheeks a brilliant red, eyes a mist of want, need, irritation, frustration.

Sweat is running down his brow and underneath his chin.

He's mumbling incoherently and trying desperately to relieve some of the pressure.

Another moment and the poor thing will surely mess his pants.

_'Hm better put dear Kurosaki-kun out of his misery, then.'_

A simple unsnap and a quick unzip, a tantalizing glimpse of orange poking out from tiny midnight blue briefs.

Aizen is more than pleased with the sight.

_'Beautiful.'_

Wasting no more time, he swoops down.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo's world flashes a brilliant white. He blinks and honestly doesn't really know what happened.

Or more accurately how it happened.

One minute he was strangling the fake taxi driver and the next, he's clumsily pulling his clothes on.

Aizen is watching him and something tells Ichigo not to look him in the eye

But…

Even knowing this he finds himself looking and then he can't look away.

Doesn't want to.

Shirosaki is hissing violently

_**'I told ya not to look him in the eye ya stupid fuck!'**_

Ichigo knows and yet he still finds that it is not easy to pull away from this man.

_**'King snap out of it or I swear I'll come out and crash this cab into the nearest tree.'**_

Ichigo shakes his head. It hurts. He studies Aizen and wonders not for the first time that night if the man has some kind of weird trippy mental control over him.

He shakes his head again.

_'No. That's beyond fuckin' cheesy—even for me.'_

_**'Yeah not even you are that big of a sap King'**_

_'No I'm not, this is—this is just all those years of teenage neglected hormones catching up to me.'_

Still even with these thoughts, against his better judgment Ichigo finds himself hastily scrawling his name and number on the back of an old receipt and handing it to Aizen (along with the cab fare) before catching up to Inoue and Rukia, who are happily chatting about some prince and a cell phone and whatever else silly girls talk about.

His underwear is wet and he grimaces. It is not a comfortable feeling, even if the moment leading up to it had been amazing (well some of it anyway)

Ichigo scowls. He wouldn't even have this problem if Aizen hadn't insisted that he keep his underwear on.

_'Bastard had no problem getting me all worked up, making me think he was going to do more than just tease me through the fabric until I exploded!'_

_**'Yeah but think about King he did ya a fave I mean, ya don't have any idea where his mouth might have been ya know!'**_

Even though they were technically one in the same, Ichigo felt the need to nod in agreement.

_'Yeah guess you're right!'_

_**'I'm always right, I'm you after all.'**_

_'I did enjoy it though!'_

_**'Yeah a little too much. Aren't you forgetting one thing though?'**_

_'What?'_

Shirosaki cackled _**'Well Aizen mighta been kind enough to leave ya underwear on but ya might want to call your doctor since ya know his tongue was down your throat and all.'**_

At the reminder, Ichigo felt heat rising to his cheeks.

Shirosaki cackled louder.

_'Ah shut up already would you?'_

Shirosaki did not stop.

_'It was just a kiss!'_

_**'That was more than just a kiss King and ya know it!'**_

_'Yeah but—_

The cackling returned.

_'Fine damn it! I'll contact Ishida's old man tomorrow and get a quick check up.'_

_**'Why go through all the trouble when ya could just ask the ole' man tonight.'**_

_'Screw that! There is no way I'm letting goat face anywhere near my mouth or any other sacred place. It's bad enough he's forcing me to dress as a reindeer for his stupid office party.'_

Shirosaki cackled wildly before falling silent completely.

Ichigo paused and looked back. The taxi is still there which means Aizen is still there, which means he's probably looking at the number which means-

"Come on Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun has been waiting long enough."

"Yeah hurry up and say goodbye to your lover Ichigo, I want some crab cakes."

Inoue and Rukia's voices reach his ears, bringing Ichigo back to the present.

Scowl firmly back in place, he stomps his way down the street and joins the duo.

()()()

(Aizen)

Aizen folds the piece of paper in half before placing it into his breast pocket.

He pulls away form the curb, amusement dancing in his eyes.

_"Well shall meet again, Kurosaki Ichigo."_

**FIN**


	2. TWO GUYS AND A BERRY

SHOT #2

Disclaimer: As I always I am not Kubo-sensei. I do not own BLEACH!

**2 guys and a Berry**

_Summary: Ichigo fresh out of high school decides to rent an apartment with Inoue and Rukia. When he gets there he encounters some new admirers. (AU)_

GrimmjowxIchigo NnoitraxIchigo

Moving **Out. Not a problem. Packing up. Also not a problem.**

"So that's the last of it, right?" Kurosaki Ichigo asked turning to a buxom brunette dressed in a short green sherpa jacket why she was wearing sunglasses was anyone's guess.

"Um I think so," Inoue Orihime answered as she looked up from her checklist entitled 'Things to Pack' She turned to a raven-haired girl dressed in a simple white turtle neck and yellow jeans. "Is there anything else Kuchiki-san?"

Kuchiki Rukia let out a lazy yawn "Nope we're good to go,"

()()()

**Moving in. A Pain in the Ass. Unpacking. Double Pain in the ass.**

**It wouldn't be so bad if his roommates weren't such pack rats.**

'_I probably should've taken Chad and Ishida up on their offer instead but at the same time things probably would've become really weird after awhile. I mean 3 guys under one roof, not exactly normal.'_

"Hurry up Ichigo, I swear you run like a little old man," Rukia taunted from the top of the stairs.

**Really why did he let himself get talked into these kinds of things?**

"Well maybe I could go a lot faster if you didn't bring so much shit with you, ever think of that?"

**Rukia threw her head back and laughed. She was enjoying every moment of the orange haired boy's misery.**

"Says the guy who refused to live with out his entire plushie collection."

"That's different."

"Mm hmm I bet it is."

"You know Rukia one of these days I'm going to—

"You're going to what Ichigo?' her silver-blues sparkled with mirth "Throw a tantrum and ban me from the kitchen again? Lock up all the cheese nips?"

Ichigo grumbled something under his breath as he continued his trek up the never-ending staircase.

()()()

"Where's Inoue?"

"Finalizing the contract with Urahara."

"I thought she did that already."

"I think there's some kind of rules or something they need to go over."

"Rules? What kind of rules?"

"Oh you know, no wild parties, no illegal substances, no large pets, that sort of thing."

()()()

**For the most part falling asleep should be easy.**

**Simply climb into bed, find a comfortable position and close his eyes.**

"Um Kurosaki-kun are you awake?"

**Perhaps if he pretended to snore, the girl would go away.**

**It was worth a shot right?**

"Wake up Ichigo!" Rukia pounced on his bed giving him no other choice but to do just that.

"Um Kuchiki-san perhaps we sh—

"It's fine Inoue, Ichigo wasn't really sleeping anyway were you?"

Ichigo rolled over and glared at the girl "What do you want Rukia?"

"We want popcorn."

"And ice cream."

"Yes and Ice cream."

"And flowers."

"Red ones."

"And pink."

"And chocolate, really, really sweet chocolate, it's almost Valentine's Day, so we can totally stuff our faces and not feel guilty about it."

**What were they 10?**

**And where exactly did they expect him to find all this stuff at (Ichigo glanced over at his clock on the wall) 3 o' clock in the morning?**

**Besides shouldn't they be asking their boyfriends for that kind of thing?**

()()()

**Because he could never say no to either girl, he went out and got the duo their chocolate, flowers and junk food.**

**Then he came home, set the stuff on the counter, entered his bedroom and slammed it shut with a dead bolt lock.**

()()()

"I'm bored."

"Me too."

"Let's go out and do something fun. I feel like we've been stuck in this house for days."

"Count me out."

"Oh come on Ichigo, don't be such a party pooper."

"This place is a mess, it's in need of some serious cleaning."

"I swear Ichigo sometimes you remind me of a house wife."

**He was used to these kinds of comments by now.**

**It was harmless really so he saw no reason to get worked up over it.**

**Rukia could say what she wanted.**

()()()

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us to Cherokee Night?"

"Singing has never been my thing, but have fun."

"Suit yourself."

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**The brat was what 17? 18 tops?**

**He shouldn't have held any appeal at all.**

**But he did.**

**Grimmjow had been watching the brat since day one.**

**The brat and his two little girlfriends.**

**A happy duo and their little bitch.**

**It was almost sweet in a way.**

**Sickening too.**

**The way the brat practically worshiped them.**

**Performing menial tasks.**

**Rushing out in the late hours of the night to get what ever was requested.**

**He decided enough was enough—it was time for the brat to grow a pair.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**Taking out the garbage is a tedious task. But somebody's got to it.**

**The only plus side is the fact that there's nothing in the bag but dead flowers and empty boxes of cheese nips.**

**Simple really.**

**Lift the dumpster lid, throw in bag, close the lid and call it a night.**

**Or at least he'd like to call it a night but some one is blocking his path.**

**Another tenant.**

**Towering over him by a good 3 or 4 inches.**

**Blowing smoke in his face.**

'_At least its menthol, I can be thankful for that much.'_

**Grinning at him in a rather unsettling sort of manner.**

**Raking exotic electric blue eyes over his body.**

**An arm reaches out at a blinding speed.**

**Pulls him forward.**

**Grip is strong, bruising.**

'_To whine or not to whine is the question here'_

**Pressure loosens just a bit.**

**Enough to get the blood flow in his arms going again.**

**Switch up the tune a bit.**

**The stranger is now searching his face for what exactly?**

**Consent?**

'_Fat chance!'_

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**He's forgotten his original purpose for cornering the brat.**

**Now that he's had a chance to fully take in the brats' features, his game plan starts to take a different direction.**

**Orange hair, cinnamon and coffee colored eyes, peach toned skin, lithe yet muscular body and that ass?**

**Hot freakin damn!**

**The scent of musk and strawberries invades his nostrils.**

**He's never cared much for sweets but there is an exception to every rule.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**A low growling sort of laugh invades his ears.**

**Hands reaching down to grab his ass, giving it a nice firm squeeze.**

'_Whine it is.'_

**Teeth are nipping and gnawing at his bottom lip, forcing him to open his mouth.**

**The guys' tongue is alternating back and forth between tugging and rolling.**

'_Hm tastes like nicotine and more nicotine with just the faintest hint of coconut shrimp. I've had worse.'_

**Hands have left his ass and are slowly making their way up to the front of his jeans.**

'_Na-ah not going that far.'_

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**Ah so the game ends here does it?**

**Hm. Perhaps this is a game worth replaying.**

**There is only one thing left to do. Find out just who this brat is.**

"Name?"

()()()

(Ichigo)

'_Should I tell him my real name or-?'_

"You first, since you started all of this."

"You weren't exactly protesting."

"Hm yeah true enough but I don't just hook up with random strangers you know, not my style."

()()()

(Grimmjow)

"Oh?" A raised brow "What is your style?"

**He was trying to get the brat riled up.**

**Needed to find out if the brat was really worth his time.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

"That all depends."

"On what?"

"My mood."

A snort "Mood?"

"Yeah, take tonight for example," A grin "I didn't kick your ass because I simply didn't feel like it."

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**Cheeky brat!**

**Interesting though.**

**Definitely worth a second round**

"What exactly did you feel like doing?"

()()()

(Ichigo)

"Mm a little of this a little of that," a pause followed by a coy smile "you know."

"Nah I really don't know much of anythin' but I'm beginning to get the impression that you're nothin' more than a tease.'

A careless shrug "Think what you want."

**He turns to leave. The guy won't let him.**

**It seems he has one more thing to say.**

"The names Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, don't forget it."

'_Idiot how could anyone forget a name like that?'_

**A cold shower is in order.**

**A long cold shower.**

**Or a bath tub full of ice cubes.**

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**Pissing off his roommate is one of his favorite past times.**

**It is 100 percent pure entertainment.**

**Course he is not an idiot. He knows when he's gone too far.**

**Coming upon his apartment door only to find it dead bolted shut.**

**No amount of pounding will make a damn difference.**

**The dark haired bastard locked him out again**

**Great now he'll have to go knock on Szayel and Luppi's door and ask if he can crash for the night.**

()()()

(View Switch)

(Nnoitra)

1 week later

**A whistling tune. That same fucking whistling tune.**

**Day after Day.**

**If Grimm didn't put a fuckin' cork in it soon h—**

**The whistling grew louder. More happy.**

**Nnoitra couldn't take it any more.**

"What the fuck has got you acting so cheery lately?"

"Nothin' just enjoying the weather, I guess."

"Bullshit! What new piece of ass are you tailing?"

**No answer. The whistling starts up again.**

**Nnoitra fingers the knife inside the pocket of his pants.**

**And contemplates (not for the first time) whether or not he should just get rid of his idiotic blue-haired roommate.**

**Surely life would be much quieter with out him around.**

()()()()()()()(()()()()

(Ichigo)

**Laundry Duty. Another Tedious Task. He does not enjoy doing it. But it must be done.**

**Rukia twisted her ankle the other night while she was out dancing.**

**Inoue is out with her boyfriend.**

**So it's all up to him, like usual.**

**Probably for the best in the long run because at least he won't find all of his whites suddenly becoming pink—like the last time.**

**Speaking of pink. Valentine's Day is only 5 days away.**

**He'll probably spend it alone. Just as he has done for the past 2 years.**

**Holidays are overrated anyway.**

**He tells himself this but knows deep down he does not wish for things to continue on this way.**

**Maybe he should track down Grimmjow?**

**Have a bit of fun?**

**The guy lives somewhere in this apartment complex. It's kinda surprising that they haven't crossed paths again.**

**Maybe he had scared him off.**

**Yeah right! The chances of that are highly unlikely.**

**So then why hasn't he seen or heard from him since that night?**

**Maybe Grimmjow already had someone and was just fuckin' with his mind?**

**Hell-the guy was probably having a fuckin laugh with his lover right now.**

**Laughing at how stupid and pathetic he was.**

**How much of a slutty tease he had been.**

**Which was entirely untrue. Because he wasn't a tease! Not really.**

**He just had a different way of doing things.**

**It really wasn't all that difficult. He really wasn't all that difficult.**

**If people would just take to time to get to know him then maybe they'd see how much of great a catch he could be?**

**If they would just**—

**Was it really so much to ask for a little—?**

**He kicked the door to the laundry room open.**

**And continued with his little pity party**

**Why couldn't Cupid send a little love his way?**

**So lost in thoughts is he that he failed to notice a set of footsteps.**

()()()

(Nnoitra)

**He wasn't sure what he expected to find upon entering the laundry room.**

**He certainly hadn't expected something like this.**

**A lovely ass. A lovely ass encased in a pair of tiny briefs.**

**Briefs. Imagine that! These days everyone opted for boxers or nothing at all.**

**It was truly a welcome change.**

**Certainly a lovely pet to consider adding to his list of conquests.**

**Such a shameless little slut too apparently.**

**Because, really who the hell danced around like that while performing such a simple task?**

**Nnoitra couldn't be held responsible for what was about to happen.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**He's always found it rather easy to get lost in Suwabe-san's songs. Get so lost in it that the rest of the world would fade into the back round.**

**Nothing but an after thought.**

**He wasn't much of a dancer but he could swing his hips just about as well as anyone else.**

**There was nothing to it really.**

()()()

(Nnoitra)

**It doesn't take much to grab the Ipod**

**Toss it rather carelessly to the side.**

**Doesn't take much to make his move.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**The loss of his Ipod irritates him.**

'_Rukia can be such a pain sometimes. Leave it to her to come and bug me even with a sprained ankle.'_

**A hiss in his left ear makes him jump.**

'_Okay so that's is clearly not Rukia'_

**Hands grip him around the waist.**

**The hold is different. Sharper than the one from last time.**

**Not Grimmjow. That much he concludes.**

**A shove.**

**Not friendly or playful at all.**

**It was official. Cupid was one seriously sadistic bastard!**

_I ask for love and this is what get?_

**He's not a fool. He has a pretty good idea of where this is heading.**

**Hands, long, bony, forcefully bend him over the dryer.**

**Reaching for the waistband on his briefs. A tug, a rip and his ass met the cold air.**

**He shudders.**

**The stranger behind still has said nothing.**

**The sound of breathing is the only indication that the guy hasn't left.**

**It feels like an eternity has passed.**

**He's actually growing kind of tiered.**

**Contemplates whether or not he should voice his discomfort out loud.**

'_What's with this guy is he gonna get on with it or not?_'

_Having second thoughts?_

**He doesn't realize he's voiced this last part out loud until he hears the familiar hiss in his ear.**

**A single finger enters him.**

**He howls like never before.**

**It's high-pitched and humiliating as all hell.**

**The guy behind him snickers and shoves a second finger in.**

**He nearly comes on the spot.**

'_Which to be honest would have been twice as embarrassing.'_

**He can't let this go any further.**

**At the very least he wants to see the guys face. Or learn his name.**

**A third finger is added.**

'_Learn his name. Gotta learn his name' _

**He's finding it difficult to even get one word out let alone an entire question.**

**A fourth finger joins the other three.**

**He winces**_._

"Yes pet is there something you wish to say?"

**At last the guy has spoken.**

**But now he can't even remember what it was he wanted to say.**

**Figures it doesn't really matter.**

**Only one thing matters now.**

**Getting fucked so hard til' he passes out**!

'_I'll just shake my ass or something, maybe then he'll get on with it'_

()()()

(Nnoitra)

**He's always hated cell phones.**

**Especially the ones with cheesy ring tones.**

**While it's true he could just ignore it and call the person back later on, he really rather not hear bitching.**

**So he slips his fingers out of the slutty little ass he's been playing with for the last half an hour.**

**And answers**

"What?"

_Don't you what me you should've been here 1 hour ago. Where the hell are you? Hali's been ridin' my ass all morning._

**Fuckin Grimm!**

"I discovered this lovely new pet and I've decided to add 'im to my collection. You can tell Hali that I'll get there when I get there."

()()()

(Ichigo)

**Screw this if the guy is just gonna stand there and chat all day, he's not worth it.**

'_Ugh I can't believe I almost'_

**His laundry is done so grabbing a replacement pair of briefs is not a problem.**

**He slips them on and fleas from the room.**

()()()

**2 days before Valentine's Day.**

"Kurosaki-kun, somebody sent you a package."

"How do you know it's for me Inoue?"

**He heard Rukia snort into her cereal bowl "Call it female intuition."**

Inoue beamed up at him "Hurry up and open it!"

**Decides he should read the note first.**

**Find out who sent it.**

_You escaped with out properly introducing yourself. I figure you're a little pissed that I never bothered to offer my name either. Well I'll tell ya it now, Nnoitra Jiruga. In the box you'll find something nice. Put em' on and then get your cute ass over to door_ **56JJ**.

"Well what is it?

"It's nothing. Just a letter from one of our neighbors." With out bothering with a further explanation, he grabbed the both package and note and walked out.

()()()

**He wasn't going to put on anything**.

**He was going to ring the doorbell and throw the package right back in the bastards smug face.**

**The nerve of that guy thinking he could order him around like that.**

**Just who the hell did he think he was?**

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**Bells were ringing in his head.**

**Ringing non-stop**

**He felt like his brain was ready to explode.**

'_Damn hangover.'_

**Bells sounding louder and louder.**

"Oi Nnoi, are you gonna get the fuckin' door or not?'

**No answer.**

**More ringing.**

**Whoever is out there clearly must have some kind of death wish.**

()()()()()()())

(Ichigo)

**His hand is growing tiered.**

**No one has opened the door.**

**He's starting to think he's been played for a fool yet again.**

**The reality that is his sad little life.**

**It hits him like a ton of bricks just then.**

**He reaches a conclusion.**

**Grimmjow and Nnoitra are clearly lovers**

**Lovers who decided to mess with his head and leave him high and dry.**

**(Then in the case of Nnoitra: send him sleazy gifts and snap out orders)**

**Well okay so he really can't place all of the blame on them**

**Since he's the one who cut off Grimm before things could really get heated.**

**He's the one who walked away from Nnoitra**

**Still…**

'_None of that matters. If they think they'll get away with playing these games, they got another thing coming.'_

()()()()()()()()

(Grimmjow)

**He unlocks the door and yanks it open, ready to let loose with a string of curses and a few good solid punches but falters upon realizing who it is.**

**The orange haired brat.**

**Ha! Now this is a surprise.**

"Long time no see."

**Without much warning—he is unceremoniously shoved to the side.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**There is no time for pleasantries.**

**Normally it is not in his nature to just walk into someone's home and do as he pleases.**

**But he simply doesn't care.**

**They started this game—although one of them (Nnoitra his brain supplies) seems to be missing at the moment –that is neither here nor there, he's going to finish it.**

**Because he has decided that he no longer wants to kick their perverted ass's he'd much rather do something more fun.**

**So he'll sit down right here on the couch and wait for Nnoitra to show up.**

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**He didn't appreciate being pushed around by anyone.**

**He technically should smack the brat around a bit.**

**Put him in his place.**

**But the brat isn't even really acknowledging him.**

**Mind seems elsewhere.**

**All stomping and snarls.**

'_The hell is the brat so pissed off about anyway?'_

**And what's with the box?**

**And why does that wrapping paper look so familiar?**

()()()

(Nnoitra)

**He figured that in order to properly seduce his pet and convince him to not leave this time.**

**He'd have to be charming.**

**Be all romantic and shit.**

**The little slut better appreciate it too.**

**He didn't buy flowers for just anyone.**

**He glanced down at his watch.**

'_Time to get back'_

()()()

(Ichigo)

'_I should leave. I don't know what came over me suddenly, thinking I could just storm in here and do whatever I want.'_

**He rises to leave but a hand forces him back down.**

"Running away so soon?"

**The voice in his ear is a teasing purr.**

"Care to tell me your name this time?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

**The purring continues. Dirty words are whispered.**

**He'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this.**

**Because he is.**

**It means Grimmjow hasn't lost interest in him.**

**Means if he plays his cards right he might get what he wants.**

**Last time he pushed the blue-haired man away.**

**But this time will be different.**

**Better.**

**He'll let go of his morals and just enjoy.**

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**It doesn't take much to pull the brat into his lap.**

**And finish what he started last time.**

**Just like when they first met, he grabs the brat's ass and gives it a nice firm squeeze.**

**Delights in the delicious squeals coming out of the brat's mouth.**

**He will not be denied this time!**

**Grinds himself upward, let's the brat feel his hardness.**

**Cranes his head and bites into the brat's neck.**

**The skin is soft. Softer than silk.**

**The scent of musk and strawberries invades his senses once more.**

**He must have more!**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**He's never cared much for hand jobs.**

**Blow jobs on the other hand?**

**Well… he simply couldn't get enough of that warm mouth engulfing him**

'**Course it didn't really surprise him, much—since the guy was quite skilled with his tongue and all.**

**The tune changes a bit.**

**The tongue is moving away from his cock and on to his**

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

()()()()()()()())()()

(Nnoitra)

**He's beyond pissed. He's fucking furious!**

**He certainly hadn't expected to come home to find his new pet panting and writhing beneath his roommate like a bitch in heat.**

**There's a sharp sting on his hand.**

**He looks down.**

**Seems one of the red roses has cut into his hand—the blood doesn't faze him much.**

**Nothing but a mere flesh wound.**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**The familiar voice brings him back to the present.**

**Nnoitra.**

_**Right**_** Grimmjow's lover.**

'_Shit! I am so dead.'_

**He takes a few minutes to fully appreciate the dark haired man.**

**All that silky long hair, that lanky well-muscled body, those eyes, like dark tiny beads looking murderous yet captivating.**

'_Death might not be so bad.'_

()()()

(Grimmjow)

**Damn he didn't want to separate himself from the brat.**

**But he couldn't exactly continue on with Nnoitra standing right there in the door way now could he?**

()()()

(Ichigo)

**The least he could do is go into the bathroom and find some bandages to wrap up the guys' hand.**

**It didn't look like a serious wound but**

"And where do you think you're going, pet?"

"I was going to just—

"Sit."

**He didn't like taking orders.**

**But arguing against a guy who towers over both him and Grimmjow? Yeah so not a wise thing to do!**

**Arms wrap around him.**

**He wishes he could feel more at ease.**

**But he doesn't.**

**On the contrary, some how it makes the situation even worse.**

"Look I—

()()()()()()()()()

(Grimmjow)

**Bastard.**

**What the fuck was his problem?**

**Didn't he realize the kind of effect he was having on the brat?**

"What the fuck do you want Jiruga?"

**Electric blue eyes flash dangerously.**

"I should be asking you the same question, what the hell gives you the right to put your filthy paws all over my pet?"

()()()

(Ichigo)

"_Pet_?"

**A thin orange brow is raised.**

"The brat isn't yours," a nasty grin, "He's MINE!"

**He feels kind of confused.**

**Why were they fighting over him?**

"Wait a minute! What—but aren't you guys lovers?"

**There is a pause.**

**Both men made a gagging noise.**

**Could it be possible that he jumped to the wrong conclusion?**

()()()

"You're not the brightest are ya, Kurosaki?"

"You fuckin' dumbass! What the hell ever gave you that idea?"

**Ichigo wanted to just crawl under a rock**

"Well I just figured what with the similar way you both cornered me and all—and when we were in the laundry room, I was pretty sure I recognized Grimmjow's voice on the other end of your phone—and so I just assumed you were together and to be honest I'm still kind of confused, are you lovers?"

"NO!"

**When fists and kitchen appliances start flying—Ichigo deems it is time to leave.**

'Why do I always fall for the violent ones?'

()()()

**It's officially St. Valentine's Day. Rukia and Inoue are heading out to a fancy restaurant with their boyfriends.**

**Dressed to the nine's and ready for a night of romance and fun**.

"You sure you don't want to come along Kurosaki-kun?"

**The buxom brunette looks so disappointed. He can't help but feel a little guilty.**

"I'm sure."

"Well maybe next time?"

"I'll think about it Inoue, just enjoy yourself."

Rukia grinned, "Oh don't worry, we will."

"Just don't get too wild Rukia, I don't want you to sprain your ankle a second time."

**The raven-haired beauty waves away his concerns as she fastens the clasp on her necklace.**

"I'll be fine, Noba has never been much of a dancer any way."

"Hm well alright then, just don't stay out too late."

"Don't worry mommy, we won't," Rukia reaches for her purse and slips it over her shoulder. "Ready Inoue?"

**Inoue nods and together the two girls move towards the open door and out into the hallway.**

"See you later, Kurosaki-kun,"

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do Ichigo."

**He shakes his head, waves goodbye and shuts the door.**

()(()()()()()()()

**Same like always.**

**Him. His Iguana. And the flat screen TV.**

**Gods he so pathetic.**

**Really who the hell spends the most romantic day out of the year alone?**

**He stands up**

**Not anymore!**

**It's time for a change**

()()()

**So he said his piece. And now he awaits their response.**

"Do I look like a fuckin' pillow biter to you?"

"I'm nobody's bitch, everyone else is my bitch!"

**A snort.**

"I'm not asking either of you to be the other man's bitch."

"Then what are you asking?"

"Well you see—

"Wait a minute—

**A look of dawning realization crosses both of Grimmjow's and Nnoitra's faces.**

"Nah you've gotta be jokin'

"Get serious!"

"I don't share."

"Me neither."

"Well you're going to have to learn because I'm not picking between the two of you."

"And if we don't agree?"

"Then I'll move out and make sure you never see me again."

"I'll just track you down, pet."

**A challenging smirk.**

"You can try, Nnoitra."

**This is better than he could have possibly imagined.**

**He's quite enjoying himself at this moment.**

"You drive a hard bargain, Kurosaki."

"Mm speaking of _hard,_ you know I'm feeling kind of—

**Now he is being a tease. And he's enjoying every minute of it.**

"Sure you're ready to play with fire, Ichi?"

**He's got them now.**

"Sure you guys are ready for me?"

**The two men share a look and then pounce!**

**He grins.**

' _I always knew I'd be a good catch.'_

END


	3. SOUR AFTER GLOW

**SHOT #3**

**Disclaimer: If owned BLEACH then Nnoitra and Grimmjow really would have claimed the Berry's sexy ass and never let go! As it is I own jack diddle nothin'**

**~SLY~**

**For Bonne and Lover1492**

**(Sequel to 2 Guys and A Berry)**

**Sour After Glow**

**(Ichigo)**

**One would think that the act of pouncing would be an enjoyable one. Sure if the ones who pounced on him were small puppies-rather than full grown men.**

**At first Ichigo had no complaints-being buried underneath all this weight and muscle mass was quite pleasurable but after awhile he was having a difficult time breathing.**

**There was no fun in suffocating before anything happened.**

**So with these thoughts running through his mind-**

"Grimmjow, Nnoitra I can't breathe!"

**Neither the blue haired male nor the dark haired male made an attempt to move.**

"Guys seriously you're getting kind of heavy."

()()()

**(Grimmjow)**

**It was a first.**

**To just lay here on top of someone and do absolutely nothing but inhale the intoxicating mix of musk and strawberries.**

**If he didn't wish to move things along with the brat he probably never would have-**

()()()

**(Ichigo)**

**Ichigo let out a relieved sigh when some of the pressure was released but he was still pinned to the mattress.**

"Uh Nnoitra?"

**When he received no response, Ichigo wondered for a moment if the guy had fallen asleep.**

"Nnoitra?"

()()()

**(Nnoitra)**

**It felt almost too damn good to have his pet pinned underneath him like this. **

**The sound of shallow breathing was music to his ears.**

**Perhaps he could persuade his pet to-**

"NNOITRA!"

"Damn it Jiruga would you fuckin' move your ass off the brat for a moment. He's turning colors!"

**Colors. Yes Nnoitra could imagine just what kind of-**

()()()

**(Ichigo)**

**He was starting to feel a bit light headed and not in a good way-that last yell had taken out a lot of his energy.**

**He didn't want to turn violent but-**

()()()

**(Nnoitra)**

**Hands were pounding on his back**

**Fingers were pulling at his hair-**

**So his pet had a vicious streak of his own did h-Wait a minute!**

**Ichi didn't wear a ring which meant-**

"Let go of my fuckin' hair Jeagerjaques or so help me I'll-

()()()

(**Grimmjow)**

"Shut the hell up you dumb shit and just take a look at Ichigo!"

**Electric blue eyes blazing**

**Nostrils flaring**

**Grimmjow was LIVID. He hadn't even realized that he had called the brat by his first name.**

**Nnoitra still hadn't gotten off the brat-**

**What would it take?**

**Fingers gripped silky locks once again and pulled!**

()()()

**(Ichigo)**

**His vision was starting to fade from him.**

()()()

**(Nnoitra)**

**He still had the switch blade in his pocket-it wouldn't take long**

**He could slice the stupid blue haired fuckers throat and**

"Gahhhhh!"

**Why was his pet scream-oh!**

**Wow uh now he felt like a total and complete dumbass!**

**This could probably-**

()()()

**(Grimmjow)**

**The brats' color was returning to normal.**

**He was coughing violently and his eyes were watering but he'd be okay.**

**Electric blue eyes narrowed in Nnoitra's direction.**

**Seemed his black haired roommate had finally registered what was going on.**

()()()

**(Ichigo)**

**It was the closest thing to a miracle he had ever experienced.**

**He never valued oxygen so much in his life as he was valuing it right now.**

**Grimmjow was hovering over him**

**Electric blues filled with concern and then relief**

**And Nnoitra-**

**Nnoitra had moved off the bed and now had his back turned to him.**

**Ichigo frowned.**

**This was supposed to be a happy occasion-how the hell had things suddenly gone so sour?**

()()()

**(Nnoitra)**

**He wasn't a total GRADE A fuck up!**

**He could make this up to his pet**

**He WOULD make this up to his pet but first-**

**First he was going to give his pet some space and let his blue haired roommate chill the fuck out**

**He would go for a walk**

**No not just a walk-he would go down to the local B and B and-**

"Nnoitra come back I'm not mad at you or anything."

**His pet was speaking to him **

**But he ignored it and left.**

()()()

**(Ichigo)**

**What the hell?**

**This wasn't-**

**He jumped off the bed and fully intended to chase after Nnoitra but strong arms wrapped around his waist and held him back.**

'Let go of me Grimmjow!"

"Never." **Lips were at his ear, then a tongue**

**Ichigo let out a moan.**

**He wanted to let Grimm continue really he did but-**

"Grimm we're not continuing with out Nnoitra I already told you this-

**Hands released him**

"It's not fair! I found you first!"

**Ichigo couldn't help but smile-watching a man like Grimmjow pout a little**

**Reminded him of a little boy who hated having to share his toys.**

**Ichigo closed the distance between them once more and wrapped his arms around the blue haired man**

**Running his hands up Grimmjow's back before moving lower in order to squeeze a well-muscled ass-**

"And you have me and I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah but-

"What's the matter Grimmjow," **his voice turned to a teasing tone now** "worried I'll think Nnoitra's a better lover than you?"

()()()

**(Grimmjow)**

**Such a cheeky brat!**

"Get on the bed and you'll find out exactly what kind of lover I can bed."

()()()

**(Ichigo)**

**Tempting. It was really very tempting. **

**He felt a delicious burn working its way all throughout his body**

**Damn it why the hell did Nnoitra have to run off?**

'_This is ridiculous, I want SEX!'_

**He was whining now. Sounding completely unlike him self.**

"Why did he have to leeeeeave?"

()()()

**Grimmjow let out a sigh**

"Alright brat you win, let's go see where Jiruga ran off to."

()()()

(**Nnoitra)**

**He couldn't really explain what it was but there was something about his pet that sparked the nearly non-existent romantic side of him.**

"A master suite please, 3 days 3 nights, 3 keys."

"We don't give out that many keys, sir."

**He was not going to have this stupid woman at the service desk ruin his spur the moment uber romantic planning. He took a glance at her name- tag and laid on his natural charm.**

"Listen Mashiro-chan you seem like a smart woman, one who enjoys fine and expensive things."

**He unrolled a wad of 20 's and held them out before her.**

"You give me three keys and I'll give you 200 dollars plus pictures from my little weekend rendezvous."

**Copper colored eyes grew hungry at both the sight of money and the mention of sexy pictures. **"You've got yourself a deal."

**Nnoitra grinned and quickly swiped the keys from the woman's hands. **

"Thanks doll, I'll be back with in the hour or so. Make sure the maids throw in an extra pillow," **he handed her another 20 and then left the B and B.**

**()()()**

**(Ichigo)**

**Why Grimmjow insisted on having him repeatedly sit in his lap (even while driving) Ichigo really didn't know but-**

"Grimmjow this is ridiculous-not to mention illegal and I really don't feel like being arrested!"

**He could see it now-Rukia and Inoue would bail him out**

"_**Oh Kurosaki-kun was it frightening? I'm so sorry we couldn't have come sooner but Kuchiki-san found the cutest little Cupid figurine and-**_

"_**So Ichigo tell me what was it like," blue eyes sparkling "Your first gang bang?"**_

**Ichigo shook his head,**

**What a horrible thought!**

"Pipe down brat we're almost there."

()()()

(**Grimmjow)**

**He couldn't really explain it but something told him he'd find Jiruga at the local B and B**

**It might have something to do with his blood line, coming from a family of gypsies and fortune tellers-perhaps his mother?**

"Look out!"

**Well that was faster than he was expecting.**

**Grimmjow slammed his foot on the break and the car screeched to a halt!**

**Nnoitra gave him a look like '**_You fuckin' dumbass you almost ran me over!'_

**Grimmjow grinned. He and the dark haired male were so similar with their mannerisms at times-it was kind of surprising that they didn't get along better.**

"Grimmjow roll down the window."

**He still wasn't tickled pink about having to share but-**

"Come on roll down the damn window already!"

"Alright, alright geez."

()()()

(**Ichigo)**

"Nnoitra what are you doing running away you big idiot? I thought you wanted me."

()()()

**(Nnoitra)**

**His pet was cute when he yelled.**

**Nnoitra didn't appreciate being called an idiot though**

**He approached the car and stuck his head through the window-**

**His eyes grew comically wide with surprise when a pair of lips crashed into his.**

**His pet was kissing him**

**Well damn this was better than he could have expected**

**His blue haired roommate was probably seething with jealousy right now**

**()()()**

**I hour later…**

**Ichigo had a plan. **

**He'd left Grimmjow and Nnoitra waiting at the poolside in this 5 star B and B and quickly set to work on re-decorating their suite.**

**There was just too much floral print and farm animal paintings for his liking-**

**It was no not sexy**

**So using the skills that he had picked up from Muramasa (one of his flings from way back when) he turned the room into well okay so it wasn't anything really special…he just threw some black and purple drapes over the tacky paintings and dimmed the lights and stripped down to his boxers.**

**But he didn't stop there.**

**Oh no-before he left the apartment complex he made sure to grab a few things-**

**Including the sexy little black thong from Nnoitra. Thongs usually weren't his thing but-the fabric-ah he could get used to the feeling-**

**Sure he could sit on the bed and wait for the two men to return-but that would be oh so boring and cliché and really not his style.**

**He was taking matters into his own hands.**

**It was time to play the game his way-on his terms-at his pace.**

**He crossed the room and picked up his travel bag-**

**By passing his toiletries and clothing in favor of reaching for another bag.**

**Ichigo called it his '**_**UBER YUM YUM BAG!'**_

**Yes this bag was filled with all kinds of fun things to make the weekend all that much more enjoyable.**

**Right now he would start with the basics: Lube and his long time best friend 'Shiro'**

**Yes he knew it was a bit strange to names one own vibrator but honestly he didn't really care.**

**He pulled the lacy thong down to his ankles and quickly coated his hand with lube.**

**Normally he'd take his sweet time-slicking his fingers with his own saliva and trailing them down his body-normally he'd pinch and tug and fondle his own nipples-normally he'd resist touching his cock until he was driven so dizzy with lust that he almost-**

**But he didn't have time for that.**

**So he quickly jerked his limp organ to life and then proceeded to slip two of his fingers into his body, then a third and finally good ole' Shiro.**

**Loosening himself up-preparing himself for what was to come.**

**Granted it probably wouldn't be enough not nearly enough, so he reached for his other friend.**

**()()()**

**When Grimmjow and Nnoitra returned to the room they found the orange haired youth sprawled out on the bed, two toys sticking half way out of his ass, thong around his ankles, his body covered with sweat, lube and cum.**

"Well isn't this a pretty picture."

"Shame on you pet, having fun with out us."

"Shut up and take me already!"

**Well there was no sense in arguing with that.**

**()()()**

**3 guys on a bed. A large bed. A master bed.**

**Ichigo can't help but snort. Despite being roommates and having agreed to share him both Grimmjow and Nnoitra are determined to stay as far away from each other as possible. **

**Another minute and they'll surely butt heads and knowing his not so luck Ichigo would be caught in the cross fire and knocked out could for a week.**

"So brat you've done this before?"

**The smell of nicotine and coconut shrimp is quickly becoming one of his favorite scents.**

**Perhaps Ichigo let his imagination/paranoia get the best of him-it's nice to know that Grimmjow and Nnoitra are going to-**

"Well not exactly."

**Ichigo is certainly no virgin but he's never even considered a threesome up until now.**

"What do you mean not exactly? You either have or you haven't pet."

"Well I've had sex obviously but not with uh more than one person at a time."

"Then how can you be sure you want to do this, brat?"

"Oh I want to do it. Nothing either of you say will change this."

"But why?"

"Well to be perfectly honest I really don't feel like watching you two fight over who gets to pound my ass first so I figure a quick way to solve that is by-

"Okay, okay I get it." **A sigh** "You're sure?"

"You ask me that question one more time and I swear to god I'll call the whole thing off."

()()()

**Really why were they making such a big deal out of this?**

**All they had to do was line their cocks up with his puckered hole and enter him.**

'_You know I bet if I were a chick they'd already be buried to the hilt on both ends. Ah Cupid why must you torture me so?'_

**Ichigo was very close to just pinning both of the stubborn bastards down and then situating his body on top of both weeping organs.**

**He could do it too.**

**He was way past the point of caring about how thick and long they were-way past the point of caring about how much it would sting and burn-**

**Besides sometimes the burn was good.**

**Fuck it!**

**No more waiting.**

**That's exactly what he was going to do.**

**He had a very flexible body and a pretty high tolerance for pain.**

**Not to mention excellent balance.**

**Yes he would show them,**

**Show them just how stupid they were being**

**Show them just how-**

**A tongue and a familiar set of fingers entered his ass**

**At first he thought it was just his imagination but-**

"How badly do you want it pet?"

**When he doesn't answer fast enough a familiar set of teeth closed in around his right nipple.**

"Cat got your tongue, brat? Answer the question!"

"I already told you what I want you to do but you just continue to do nothing."

**Nnoitra's tongue and fingers continued their teasing tune with his hole.**

"Not good enough Ichi, you said you want us to take you but you didn't say where you wanted us to take you."

**Bastard! Was he seriously fucking around at this point in the game?**

**Well actually no he wasn't and that's what was pissing Ichigo off the most.**

**All talk and no show.**

**He was beginning to think that they never truly planned on fucking him in the first place.**

'_Curse you Cupid! Curse you to the seven depths of-!_

**And then it happened!**

**At long last-it felt like it had been an eternity but finally at long last hands had gripped his sides and-**

**One cock entered him and the other soon followed**

**Oh the burn was so good!**

**Better than good**

**It was FUKING OUT OF THIS WORLD DELICIOUS!**

**Sure it probably wasn't normal-the human ass wasn't originally designed to be stretched to such lengths but-**

"NGH MMMPH GAHHH MORE!"

"More? Are you sure you can hand-

"What did I tell you? Ask me that one time and-URGH GAHH YES!"

**And to think they were only half way inside.**

"I don't know brat I mean it's already pretty snug in here and-

"Shut up and fuck me until I pass out!"

"Don't be ridiculous pet we can't have you passing out when the-

"Listen you two can either fuck me until I pass out or-

"Still with the ultimatums even at this stage, you are something else brat."

**Grimmjow was amused damn him!**

**()()()**

**Eventually the teasing and tormenting stopped.**

**Eventually a nice even rhythm was set.**

**Alternating back and forth between harsh thrusts and fast pumping.**

**Ichigo knew his ass would probably be sore as all hell in the morning.**

**Grimmjow or Nnoitra would probably have to carry him to the bathroom.**

**He'd probably have to soak in the tub.**

**And then knowing the way those two were, things would probably get fun and frisky in said tub.**

**And it would be déjà vu all over again.**

'_And I wouldn't want it any other way'_

END


	4. BROKEN HEARTED BERRY

SHOT #4

**Disclaimer: If I owned BLEACH, let's just say…our dear sweet berry would have one seriously sore behind, lol. As always, I own NOTHING!. KUBO-SENSEI IS THE GENIUS, not I.**

A/N seriously I kinda got carried away with myself on this one, it just kept growing and growing. Ha! Guess that's what happens when there's so much berry to love. I played around with the characters ages, some might be older, some younger, shrugs, it is what it is.

Warnings: Un-beta-d, language, grammar, punctuation, switching views, bits of naughtiness. The usual and what not

Characters: Ichigo, Inoue, Rukia, Renji, Ishida, Karin, Hitsugaya, Szayel, Chad, Noba, Kenpachi, Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Kensei, Mashiro, Starrk and brief mentions of others.

Pairings: StarrkxIchigo, NnoitraxIchigo, KenpachixIchigo, InouexIchigo, RukiaxNoba, SzayelxRenji, ChadxIshida, HitsugayaxKarin, possible brief mentions of others.

_Summary: Two years ago after Inoue Orihime broke his heart, Kurosaki Ichigo has sworn off love for the rest of his life._

_Oh don't be so dramatic Berry boy that was only an illusion, real love is just around the corner!_

**Broken Hearted Berry **

2 years ago…

_His hands were shaking as he held out the opened box to the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with "Inoue Orihime, will you marry me?"_

_This was the part when the band would start playing. The part where the doves would start singing, the part where she's jumps into his arms and says "YES!"… just like she had done in all of his dreams for the past fortnight._

**REALITY BITES!**

_She couldn't even look him directly in the eye as she said, "I'm sorry Kurosaki-kun but I'm in love with some one else," her eyes fell to the box for a moment and then back up to him "I'm also having his baby, we're getting married next fall."_

_He felt like the devil had swept in and was now painfully, slowly, sadistically stripping away his heart piece by piece, leaving it in useless ribbons._

_She put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze "You'll always have a special place in my heart," she brushed her mocha painted lips against his cheek, "never forget that," and then she walked away._

_From that moment on Kurosaki Ichigo swore off love for the rest of his life…_

**2 years later**

Having a support network is not a rare thing per se-having a support network made up of individuals sharing the shame view however…

Enter the 3 friends and sister of one Kurosaki Ichigo…

(Rukia)

"That bitch!"

(Renji)

"She broke up with him-"

(Ishida)

"On Valentine's Day,"

(Karin)

"Who the hell does that?"

()()()()()

(Rukia)

"I swear if I ever –

(Renji)

"-see her"

(Ishida)

"-again"

(Karin)

"I'll kill her!"

()()()

(Rukia)

"He loved her more than anything,"

(Renji)

"He was going to fuckin' marry her!"

(Ishida)

"You tell me, does he seem like—

(Karin)

"—the kind of guy who would settle down?"

()()()

(Rukia)

"And do you know what the saddest part is?"

(Renji)

"He's still completely and disgustingly devoted to her!"

(Ishida)

"He watches over her daughter when she's out of town,"

(Karin)

"— loves the little girl as if she were his own."

()()()

(Rukia)

"I love Ichigo and I want him—

(Renji)

"—to be happy."

(Ishida)

"—so I've decided,"

(Karin)

"To play matchmaker."

()()()()()()()()

Jan 28th

(Rukia)

"So it's decided then? We're going to go out and find our Ichigo a date for Valentine's Day?"

(Renji)

"Not just Valentine's Day, that's jus' a start."

(Ishida)

"I'm thinking long term,"

(Karin)

"As in forever."

"Even better," Kuchiki Rukia grinned at her 3 fellow matchmakers, "So whose going to get our berry?"

Ishida Uryu looked up from his palm pilot and answered, "For starters, we need to look for someone who can take care of both him/her self and Kurosaki,"

"Renji, Karin what do you guys think?"

Kurosaki Karin dangled her feet back and forth on the bar stool as she said, "No more weaklings or airheads. I swear if I have to witness my brother getting all googly-eyed with another damsel in distress, I might just burn my eyes out."

"What about you, Abarai?"

The tattooed redhead played with the string on his drawstring pants before he shouted (quite unnecessarily) "No more chicks! I think part of the reason things didn't work out for Ichigo is because he spent so much time trying to make her happy, that he failed to realize how unhappy he himself was. He doesn't even like chicks, he was only with her so he could please his ole' man, no offense Karin."

"None taken," the girl let out a sigh "but you're only half right," she paused to take a sip from her banana milkshake before continuing "He can't stand the sight of a female crying. On the night when Inoue-san's brother died, she fell into Ichi-nii's arms and asked him to make the pain go away,"

Ishida felt like he was going to be sick to his stomach "How do you know this?"

Karin scoffed, "I'm his sister, of course I know these things."

Rukia looked doubtful "Are you sure? I've known Ichigo for years and never once did he mention a—

"No offense Rukia-san but you tend to tune my brother out half of the time."

There was an uncomfortable pause for a few minutes.

"Let's just get on with the plan, shall we?" the raven-haired beauty pulled out a glittery notebook and a purple feathered pen, silver blues dancing with delight, "So do any of you know any hot single men who might want to get with our berry?"

()()()()()()()

**Jan 31st**

"The daily meeting 'Find a date for our Berry has now commenced," Rukia banged her toy gavel on the counter top and smirked at her three fellow companions.

"So we've narrowed it down to four then?"

Ishida looked up from his Nokia phone "Three, Tousen-san backed out at the last minute, said something about how duty must always come before pleasure."

Karin rolled her eyes "Eh its no real loss if you ask me, the way I see it, that guy lives so far up Aizen's ass, I doubt he would've had much time for Ichi-nii any way."

Renji pounded his fist on the counter "You said it! Last thing Ichigo needs is to hook up with some guy who can't even think or act for himself."

"It's not so much that Tousen-san can't think for himself, Abarai," Ishida pushed his glasses up higher on to his nose, "it is more like Aizen forbids him from doing so."

"Seriously that guy is bad news, I still can't believe he actually dated my mother at one point."

"What?"

"It's true. I guess my mother and Aizen fooled around back when they went to college or something, goat face hated it."

"I can see why, some young punk movin' in on his woman? Yeah, that'd piss any guy off!"

"How is that even normal? Isn't Aizen like way younger?"

"8 years or so but age has never really been an issue for my mother," small frown crossed Karin's face "She probably would've stayed with Aizen if it weren't for his nasty possessive streak."

"Who the hell does he think he is any way? Some kind of God?"

"Pretty close."

"Ugh, I can't believe that a woman as lovely and intelligent as your mother could've ever dated a guy like that."

"Well he can be rather charming when he wants to be,"

"Who cares? Any way I think we're getting way off track here, so back to business," Rukia crossed out number 4 in her notebook, "So Tousen is out, so that leaves Kenpachi, Nnoitra and Starrk." A perverted fan girl grin blossomed on her face "So who gets to sweep our berry off his feet and into the bedroom first?"

()()()

**Feb 1st**

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, Karin,"

"Ah you know you love my pushy nature Toshirou, if you didn't you would never have given me a second glance."

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with before my silly secretary makes good on her promise to come and harass me during my vacation time."

"Oh stop it, Rangiku-san can't be all that bad."

Glacier blues rolled "You have no idea."

Karin let out a sigh. Really she loved her boyfriend but he could be so ridiculous at times.

"How do you even know if he's home?"

"Because Ichi-nii hardly ever leaves the house these days."

"Are you saying that he's become some kind of hermit since his breakup?"

"Something like that."

()()()

Karin almost gasped in horror at the sight of her brother. Bags under his blood shot eyes, dressed in a stained gray tunic, white linen pants (also stained) and broken open toed sandals, and in serious need of a haircut.

"Ichi-nii what the hell happened to you?"

Sure he was depressed. Had been depressed for two straight years but this?

"Just haven't had much energy to care about my appearance these days," Ichigo said with a careless shrug as he stepped to the side and ushered the young couple in.

()()()(

For a moment, Karin feared that the house would look just as bad (if not worse?) than her brother, on the contrary, the house was spot less and smelled of fresh daisies in spring time. She smiled at him "I see you took Yuzu up on her advice and finally hired a maid."

"Hm, oh no actually the maid only lasted a day, what you see before you," Ichigo gestured to the newly refurnished living room decorated in fine rich wine and soft cream colors "I did all of this."

Hitsugaya Toshirou let out an appreciative whistle "You're quite skilled Kurosaki," he cocked his head to the side "Never pictured you as a designer type,"

Another careless shrug came from the orange haired male "I grow bored easily and I like to try new projects."

()()()

"So Ichi-nii how have you been, I mean honestly?" Karin tried to mask the worry in her voice but couldn't.

"Hey now don't frown like that, you wanna get wrinkles before you even turn thirty?"

Ichigo's laugh was unnatural, forced, broken, he was trying to be strong, he was trying to not let her see the pain he still felt. He didn't want to cloud her happiness, make her uncomfortable. Just because he was miserable didn't mean everyone else should be.

Karin couldn't believe she was about to bring up the devil incarnate but if she was going to get anywhere, she had to know "Ichi-nii where's (_the lying two faced whore?)_ Inoue?"

A flash of pain entered cinnamon and coffee colored brown eyes as Ichigo answered, "England, and she plans to stay there."

"England? Why England?"

"Because that's where her lover (_husband_) is originally from."

"Really?"

"I don't really feel comfortable talking about it Karin," he made an effort to change the subject, turning to the snow-haired youth sitting next to his sister "So Toshirou, when are go gonna pop the question to my lil sis?"

Karin kicked him under the table as she hissed, "Idiot. Not for a long time, I only just graduated from high school. What the hell makes you think I wanna settle down and raise noisy brats?"

Ichigo laughed. The first real laugh he'd had in a long time "I'm glad to see you've found your special someone Karin," he stood up "So who's hungry? I have plenty of leftovers from last night an—

"Actually Ichi-nii we were hoping you'd join us for brunch over at Ishida's. He's been cooking up a storm since 4 o clock this morning."

"Oh uh I don't know Karin, I don't really fell like going any where an—

"Please Ichi—nii?"

It wasn't in his nature to say no women—even more so when that young woman was his sister "Alright, but I'm only doing this for you."

()()()

"You two just wait out here for a minute, I need to go ask Ishida-san about something."

"Make it quick woman!"

"Hey! Don't talk to her like that!"

Karin snorted as her boyfriend and her brother suddenly locked them selves into a silent battle.

'_Men'_

()()()()(()()()

"You're saying Ichigo is starving himself?" Rukia's large eyes widened even more.

"No. It's worse, he's living off of fattening take out and cheap beer."

"Is he like a fatass now?" Renji asked rather carelessly

"No! I can tell even underneath that stupid shapeless tunic and saggy pants, that Ichi—nii has not given up his basic work out routine but—

"I for one, do not think that there is anything wrong with a tunic, Karin-chan."

"Don't call me that! And that's easy for you to say, your sense of fashion is terrible. You can't even walk out the door to get a simple newspaper without putting on your tiara, sprinkling yourself with glitter and dressing yourself in the softest and most expensive fabrics in existence!"

Szayel sniffed indignantly "There is nothing wrong with looking pretty," he turned his nose up at the girl "You could probably use a make over yourself you know?"

"Karin is just fine the way she is," Rukia said coming to the younger woman's defense. "She's a different type of pretty, as am I."

"What's all this about looking pretty?" Ishida asked as he came out of the kitchen dressed in a powder blue apron with white lace trimming on the hem. There was flour in his ebony black hair, a smudge of pancake batter on his left cheek and strawberry and maple syrups splattered (_almost artistically_) on his neck, ears, arms and apron.

At his side (miraculously powder, batter, flour, and syrup free) stood Chado. He smiled warmly at the group.

"Nothin' much, Ichigo looks like a bum with a beer gut, Inoue moved to England, blah blah and so on."

"What?"

"Don't listen to this idiot! Ichi-nii is still plenty good looking, he simply hasn't shopped for clothes in a long time and kinda let his hair grow into this rat's nest type of thing."

"A fat, lazy bum just like I s—OW!"

"Thank you Rukia-san,"

Rukia grinned "Anytime."

()()()()()()

That evening…seems that matchmaker number 1 has some problems of his own…

(SzayelxRenji)

"You call yourself a boyfriend? You didn't even defend me when they all gained up on me."

Szayel let out a sigh—really and people called him a drama queen?

"Come now Abarai-kun, don't be so over dramatic."

Renji ripped his blanket and pillow off the bed "Bastard! Just for that I'm sleeping over and Ikka and Yumi's tonight!"

**/SLAM/**

()()()

Matchmaker number 2 seems to be doing a lot better compared to the first…

(HitsugayaxKarin)

"I knew you'd be able to convince him."

"It's too soon to celebrate Karin, just because he agreed, that doesn't mean he'll fall in love."

"My brother will fall in love, maybe not right away but it will happen!" Karin's eyes burned with determination.

Toshirou smiled at his girlfriend. She really was too cute when she got like this.

()()()()()()

As for matchmaker number 3 well tomorrow is a new day but right now she would just like to focus on her own lover…

(RukiaxNoba)

"I really wish you had been there this afternoon."

"I know and I promise I'll make it up to you."

Rukia pounced on the bed and crawled over to her green-eyed fiancé, naughty grin on her face, "Make it up to me now!"

Noba felt a delicious burning heat in his loins "As you wish, my lady."

()()()()

The 4th matchmaker well…helping out the berry is the furthest thing from his mind right now…what with his lover having just come out of the shower in the buff and all…

(ChadxIshida)

"Cake batter taste good. You taste better."

Ishida was not the type to role-play often, but he did have a weakness for Sado's Tarzan impression.

()()()()()()()

Feb 2nd

(Ichigo)

He ran a nervous sweaty palm through his freshly cut hair.

It was just a date. The first of 3. Nothing to it. Just him and another guy—or guys—no guy—each date was separate.

Right nothing to fear. Nothing to worry about. He's uh not entirely inexperienced in this area.

He did a few things back in his high school days. During after hours in the boys' locker rooms. It wasn't terrible. Different. Kinda nice. Okay better than nice but still…

This, whatever this was it—oh who the hell was he kidding? He wasn't ready, didn't want to date (guy or girl) –okay so to be honest he was actually quite pleased that it wasn't a female because—

No don't go there!

It didn't matter. Nothing matters.

'_**I'm just doing this to make Karin happy. If I get something out of it well—perhaps a few good—no! Why the hell am I even thinking about—fuck it. I'm just gonna go in there and do what?'**_

"Kurosaki, the door won't open itself you know."

Oh yeah. Toshirou was here too. He'd almost forgotten.

"If I have to open the door and shove you in there Kurosaki, I will!"

"Relax Toshirou, there's no need to get worked up I'm just th—

"I don't care. Stop being a coward and go!"

'_**Pushy little runt ain't he?'**_

()()()(()()()()()()

Muscles. Ripped abs, ripped shoulders, ripped biceps, ripped calves (ooh calves) ripped all over.

This person standing before him, towering over him in all his bare-chested glory, Zaraki Kenpachi.

The ultra manly man. The very definition of a REAL man.

Ichigo was sure there was drool dripping from the corners of his mouth.

He suddenly felt almost unnaturally hot—granted boxing arenas were usually well heated but this?

He felt as though some one had suddenly dipped his body in lava.

"Ichigo huh? So what's a cute little berry like you doin' in a place like this?"

A fine orange brow twitched in irritation. He absolutely detested it when people called him cute, little or berry.

Oh he was so going to kick this guy's ass!

()()()()()

"You pack quite a punch, Ichigo," Kenpachi grinned as he licked his swollen bloody lips "We're gonna have us some real fun now," he tossed a set of gloves and head gear to the orange-haired male "Get ready!"

()()()()()()

He'd never felt so deliciously sore in his entire life. It was almost intoxicating. The pain in his heart, nothing but a dull ache for once. Ichigo felt a smile break out onto his face and snuggled into the warmth that was Kenpachi.

()()()()()

Feb 3rd

"_So how was it?"_

"It was (_**fuckin amazing**_**)** okay."

"Just okay?"

"_No sparks?"_

"Rukia don't be ridiculous, it was one date."

"_Well, what did you guys do?"_

'_**As if I can tell her what really happened'**_

"We boxed and ate pizza."

'_**He also fucked my brains out but there's no way I'm tellin' her that!'**_

"_That's all?"_

"What the hell were you expecting Rukia?"

"_Nothing, nothing at all,"_ her voice was far from innocent.

"So…you didn't find him to be the least bit attractive? I always pegged you to be the kinda guy who could appreciate fine muscle mass."

'_**I did and then some'**_

He was so grateful that Rukia wasn't here with him right now, so glad she couldn't see his quickly reddening face.

"_Ichigo?"_

"What?"

"_Are you going to see him again?"_

"Maybe."

"_Maybe huh?"_

Why did her voice have to sound so damn hopeful?

"He has a match in a few days, I said I'd go."

Rukia let out a girlish squeal "_Really? Really? Really!"_

"Yes. Now please stop doing that!"

"_Oh this is great! Better than great! Wait til I tell the others."_

"What? No don't t—

CLICK!

Damn she hung up on him.

Ichigo threw his head back against the pillow and groaned in irritation.

()()()()()()

**Feb 4th**

Inoue called. God, it was so great to hear her voice.

Soft and sweet just like the rest of her.

Her daughter was doing well—in the early stages of crawling.

He felt tears in the corners of his eyes but angrily wiped them away with his sleeve.

She said she'd come visit in the summer, bring little Adel with her.

()()()()()()

**Feb 5th**

Out of all the scenarios he could have come up with?

Kenpachi being a family man was not one of them.

He never would've pictured that a guy like Kenpachi would have had a buxom champagne blonde for a wife.

Never would have imagined that the guy had a kid on top of that (bright eyed and pink haired) clearly adopted but a cute little demon nonetheless.

Instead of feeling angry, Ichigo felt guilty.

He almost broke up a loving family.

Even when Rangiku-san and Kenpachi insisted that there was no problem and that they had a very loving, open type of marriage it didn't make him feel any better.

He thought of Yachiru.

'_**I nearly shattered a young girls life'**_

At the moment Ichigo felt hatred and loathing towards him self return ten fold.

'_**I'm such a fuckin moron. I'm not worthy of love or happily ever after. No wonder Inoue left me.'**_

()()()()()()()

**Feb 6th**

The door bell rang.

Ichigo ignored it.

The telephone rang.

Ichigo ignored it.

His cellphone rang.

Ichigo ignored it.

()()()()()()()

**Feb 7th**

Rukia sent him a text message.

He deleted it without even reading it.

Karin and Toshirou climbed through his basement, made their way upstairs and then invited him to dinner.

He declined and the locked himself inside his bedroom.

()()()()()()()

Because she was his sister she only wanted the best for her brother. Why couldn't anyone understand that?

Karin felt like ripping the phone right out of the wall…

"I thought you cared about my brother, Rukia-san."

"_I do. I love Ichigo as if he were my own brother, you know this."_

"Then why the hell did you go and hook him up with a married man?"

"_Married?"_

"Don't play dumb with me, you heard what I said!"

"_But I swear I didn'—how?"_

"Never mind how, the point is you let me down, Rukia-san."

"_But I swear I didn't—_

CLICK!

Rukia frowned. She usually got along great with Ichigo's younger sister. This was the first time that she could recall in which she had angered Karin.

Green eyes looked over a text and the owner called out to her-concern laced in his voice.

"Something wrong love?"

Rukia let out a sigh turned to Noba and answered, "I screwed up."

()()()()()()

And as the angry sister rants to her boyfriend…

"I think you were a bit harsh."

"I don't care! How dare she—the nerve of her to—

"Karin, maybe she really didn't know."

"Right, sure go make excuses for her."

"Hey now you're being unreasonable."

"I'm being unreasonable! Ichi-nii is going to die a lonely old man because nobody cares about him."

"That's not true Karin, a lot of people care about your brother."

()()()()()()

A few hours later…

"Rukia-san?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I acted so childishly and called you all of those terrible names."

"You didn't call me any t—

"In my mind."

"Oh, yes well you're young, these things happen. Shrug, a sip of coffee "You say she's Hitsugaya-kun's secretary?"

Karin nodded "The very same one."

Rukia let out a sigh "Small world we live in, huh?"

**Feb 8th**

Renji came over. Dragged him out of bed.

Seemed his second date had arrived.

Wouldn't tell him much—just that the guy was some bartender who worked down at a nightclub called _**Sonido.**_

Ichigo wasn't thrilled about going anywhere. But a promise was a promise. So he got dressed and followed his tattooed friend out the door (refraining from commenting on the redhead's slight limp—tempting though it might have been-)

All he said was "You and Szayel made up then?"

Renji (the-not-so-closet-uke) was ready to slug the shorter male but reigned in his anger because the berry had already had such a shitty week.

()()()()

As they approached the club Ichigo felt the need to turn to his friend and ask, "So how'd you find out about this place anyway?"

"Sza used to be in the club scene, as a male entertainer or something," Renji turned a lovely shade of pink "It's kinda how we met," he mumbled the last part.

"Really?" Ichigo was honestly curious since his redheaded friend rarely spoke of his personal or romantic life."

Averting his gaze as he told the strawberry his story "Remember that douche bag Ilforte who always used to pick on me in gym class in our freshman year?"

"Yeah."

"Well turns out Szayel is his older brother, small world huh?"

"Tell me about it."

There was a momentary silence and then…

"He fucked you didn't he, that Zaraki guy?"

This time Ichigo was the one who turned a lovely shade of pink.

"I knew it! Rukia insisted otherwise but I knew—I just knew it!"

"Renji, stop!"

"Oh uh sorry, right yeah, it's just look Ichigo take it from a guy who knows," the redhead placed a hand on his shoulder "The one for you, the one you're meant to be with, for all eternity he's out there."

Ichigo said nothing. He didn't believe in love anymore. Sure he had a great time with Kenpachi—still thought about the man even now—but it wasn't love. There was no such thing as love.

There was simply lusting and fucking.

A glorious amount of fucking. But not love.

Love only existed in fairy tales.

He would never say it out loud, but everyone else –his friends, his sister—they were deluding themselves into thinking love lasted forever.

()()()()()()

"Heh a pineapple and a berry? Could it be I died and went to Frutopia heaven?"

Okay he wasn't going to lie to himself and ignore how ridiculously sexy the gum smacking, blue-haired bouncer was but _Frutopia_?

Come on that was just beyond lame!

"Back off Grimm! This berry's not for ya, he's here for the 6 armed bartender."

"Che, always dangle goodies in front of my face and never let me sample any," the man's exotic blue eyes swept over Ichigo's body once more before he turned his attention back to Renji "You're a real bastard, Abarai."

()()()()()

"Ichigo wasn't a shallow person but six arms? That sounded a little unsettling? Not to mention freakish "Uh Renji?"

"Yeah Ichigo?"

"Does the guy really have six arms?"

Renji thought about answering the berry but decided that a surprise would be much more fun "You'll find out!"

()(()()()()()()

"Two Gin and Tonics, three Fuzzy navels, two Corona on the rocks, one Cosmo, four Blue moons, two Cranberry Vodkas and three—

"Whoa!"

"Pretty cool huh?" Renji pulled out a stool and gestured for his orange haired friend to do the same.

"Nnoitra is the quickest bartender in the city, possibly even the country, any way he got is nick name because of how fast he can mix and serve drinks, giving off the illusion of six arms."

Ichigo was entranced. So entranced that he failed to realize that he had indeed, captured the bartender's attention.

Arms reached out (putting the words lighting and speed to shame) and pulled him over the counter and down to the floor.

A long, sinfully skilled tongue invaded his mouth with purpose.

There was no doubt in his mind—he had totally just shot off a load in his ridiculously tight leather pants.

"Lovely shade you're turning there, pet," Nnoitra smirked "Take it your Ichi?"

()()()()()()

Renji grinned into his diet coke (Szayel forbid him from drinking tonight) as he watched his berry friend and Nnoitra slip out the back door.

"Seems like Ichigo is in good hands."

()()()()()()()()

The word gentle did not exist in Nnoitra's vocabulary.

If he wanted to bite, he would bite!

If he wanted to claw, he'd claw.

If he wanted to shove his entire hand up Ichigo's tight little ass, he'd do it!

And Ichigo (though he would never admit to anyone else but himself and the man who was currently doing it to him) loved every fuckin' minute of it!

Sure it hurt like hell. But he'd never come so fast, hard and so many times in his life!

Nnoitra licked the side of his face "That's only a prequel, pet, the real fun has yet to begin!"

()()()()()()()

Sore, bloody and in serious need of a bath (but he just couldn't find the energy right now) Ichigo stumbled out of the King size hotel bed and into the bathroom to take a piss.

He didn't bother to even look at his reflection in the mirror.

No he was not having regrets—in fact he already told himself that he would definitely do another round or two with Nnoitra before the sun came up and he found the energy to hobble on home.

Rather it was—

"Nnoitra Jiruga, this is the police come out with your hands up or we'll break down the door!"

**WTF?**

"Psst! Ichi, come here."

Ichigo pulled up his underwear and washed his hands.

"Psst! Pet get over here!"

It was more of a hiss now.

Ichigo let out a sigh and opened the bathroom door, only to find that wonderful tongue making its way into his mouth once more.

"We're going to count to 3, if you don't come out, we're comin' in!"

Nnoitra reluctantly pulled away from the berry.

Ichigo looked at him in confusion "What's going on—who are?"

"Shh! No time to explain Ichi,"

"One."

Nnoitra slipped on his clothes and made his way towards the window and opened it.

"Two."

"Wait! Nnoitra are you in some kind of—

"Shh!" Nnoitra crossed the room to take in his lovely pet's features once more "I wish I could t—

"Two and a half."

"You idiot! Don't give a criminal extra time."

"Look I'll drop you a line one day, from Spain or something, look for it,"

"Wai—wha—mph!

"Taste so fuckin' good Ichi, I really wish I co—

"Two and three quarters."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're giving the criminal time to escape!"

"Shut up!"

"Idiots," Nnoitra rolled his eyes, ruffled the berry's hair and then escaped out the window.

Three!"

The door burst open.

3 officers dressed in black uniforms entered the room.

"Damn looks like the little bastard got away again."

"Wait to be sure shouldn't we chec—

"Search the bathroom!"

Ichigo mentally cursed himself as a silver-blond haired officer approached him (giving a not so discreet once over) "Hmm what do we have here?"

The guy (none-to gently) grabbed his arm and looked at it.

'_**What exactly is he searching for?'**_

A lecherous leer "You're a pretty little thing, got a name?"

"K-Kurosaki Ichigo,"

'_**Fuck! Why the hell am I stuttering? Now he's gonna think I know something and arrest me!'**_

"Ichigo huh? That's pretty fitting." The guy (thankfully let go of his arm) and widened the distance between them "Right well uh you're clean so you're free to go."

"Um?"

"Yes?"

"Can I please shower and collect my things first?"

"If you really w—I mean of course. Men out of the bathroom."

"It's clear, sir."

"No signs of Jiruga anywhere."

"Damn."

"Kensei you idiot where the hell did y—oh hello berry-tan."

"Mashiro!"

'_What the hell is my child hood babysitter doing here?'_

"You've gotten even cuter since the last time I saw you, love the booty shorts!"

Ichigo felt his face flushing.

Kensei was admiring the sight.

"Sir?"

The man shook his head "Yeah?"

"We just got word, Jiruga was last seen making a speedy exit in a taxi just about 15 miles from here."

"This is our chance. Let's go men!"

"Take care of your self Berry-tan," the lime green haired woman blew him a kiss and flew out the door after the other 3 officers.

Ichigo abandoned his thought of a shower and fell back onto the bed.

He let out a sigh.

'_**Guess I better call Renji to come and get me.'**_

()()()()()()

There is only so much the sister of the berry can take before she seriously explodes…

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"_Karin please I didn't m—_

"Shut up! Don't say another word, idiot! How could you hook Ichi-nii up with a fuckin' convict? What the hell is wrong with you!"

"_I—Szayel s—_

"I don't care what your poofy lover said, don't just don't show your face around for awhile."

"_How lo—_

"I don't care! But stay away from Ichi-nii!"

"But K—

CLICK

"I take it something went wrong with Abarai's choice as well?"

Karin fell into her boyfriends' arms and sobbed "Poor Ichi-nii!"

()()()()()()

**Feb 9th**

"I don't care what I said. I don't feel like meeting any other potential boyfriends of whatever!"

"But this one will be different, Ishid—

"I don't care. Listen I'm tiered, I'll talk to you tomorrow or something, night Rukia."

"_Night? But it's only 4 o clock in the after (CLICK) noon,"_

()()()()(()()()()

Feb 10th

"Still refuses to open his door huh?"

"Yeah and he locked his windows as well."

Damn. Now what were they going to do?

()()()()()()

**Feb 11th**

The quiet was nice, peaceful. Just him, his pet Iguana (Zan), his neon blue panther plushie, a case of miller bright (miller lite knock off) and the soft hum of his newly acquired toy—okay so Nnoitra was a convict. So what? He was still sexy as hell and thoughtful too.

Ichigo never thought he'd enjoy something as tacky as a vibrator but…

The ringing of a doorbell made him jump.

_**/Fuck off! I'm not answering, just go away!/**_

()()()()()()

**Feb 12th**

"Yuzu you are our last resort, will you agree?"

"If it's for onii-chan, then of course I will."

Karin hugged her twin.

"Let's go call him."

()()()()()())

Putting up with goat face was worth it, since he got to see his sisters.

"So Ichigo my lovely son, what have you been up to lately? Have you brought me some cute little g—OW!"

Ichigo and Karin shared a smile.

"Good to see you too, goat face."

()()()()()()

"We just want to see you happy Ichi-nii please just go on this last date?"

Ichigo wrapped his arms around both of his sisters and hugged them tightly.

"Alright but only if you two agree to help me kick his ass if he turns out to be a waste of my time."

"Deal."

()()()()()()()

**Feb 13th**

He felt sick to his stomach. No amount of Rukia's pep talks, Renji's pats on the back or either of his sister's radiant smiles of encouragement could make the feeling go away.

Why couldn't they understand just how horrible this day was for him? It was the eve of when she walked away from him, the eve of when it all came to an end.

Ichigo hadn't bothered to shower or brush his teeth today. He was wearing the exact same outfit he had worn yesterday. Clutching to his neon blue panther plushie quite pathetically.

Poor Zan had been stuck in his tank for days. If he didn't snap of it, he'd wind up killing his prized Iguana.

He didn't want that!

Abandoning his neon plushie for the moment, Ichigo crossed the room and picked his Iguana up from out of the tank.

"Just you and me, Zan."

"No it's not Ichi-nii, I'm here, Yuzu's here, Rukia-san's here, the idiot pineapple and his poof of a boyfriend is here, Ishida-san is here, S—

"Leave me be."

"But onii—

"Please, just leave."

()()()()()(()()()

"This is ridiculous, he's acting like a child."

"Shut up! Ichi-nii is hurting right now, don't you see?"

"Ka-

"Shut up! All of you—ju—just get out, leave, now!"

()()()()()()()

"Ichi-nii can we come in?"

"Of course you can."

()()()()()

"We're sorry Ichi-n—

"No I'm the one who's sorry," Ichigo set Zan down on the bed and faced his sisters "Can you forgive your older brother for behaving like such an ungrateful ass. I know you meant well I —I'm not even angry with you or a—

"Ichi-nii don't you think it's time to let Inoue go?"

"I hate to see you torturing yourself this way onii-chan."

Both girls (_no—no longer girls—young women_) looked so sad.

'_**Gods I am such a sorry excuse for a brother, constantly worrying them like this.'**_

He picked up his abandoned panther plushie and clutched it close to his chest.

()()()((()()()()())

**Feb 14th**

There was a knock on his bedroom door, rousing him from his sleep.

Strange, he was sure Karin and Yuzu had left at 7 o clock that morning—he glanced at his alarm clock

6:30 pm

_**/Hmm guess I slept a little longer than I wanted to/**_

He sighed and went to open the door—only to find a person he had never seen before standing there.

Was he dreaming?

()()()()()()()

"I'm counting on you Ishida-san."

"I had an old friend of mine run a back round check on Starrk, his record is clean."

"What about kids? Mistresses? Any of that stuff?"

"Kid free unless you count his kid-sister but she's off at boarding school right now."

"How old is this guy?"

"He's 27."

"Is he single?"

"Yes."

"Is he looking for love?"

"Well he's certainly looking for more than a one night stand. What does that tell you?"

"Hmm I don't mean to come off as nasty and disrespectful Ishida-san but my brother has been put through enough and I only want him to—

"Kurosaki will find happiness, when the time is right."

"You better be right about this or so help me I'll—

()()()()()()()()()

(Ichigo)

"Um?"

"Karin and Yuzu let me in, said I should make myself at home but to keep the noise down because you were sleeping."

"Um right, who are you exactly?"

The man had dark, wavy shoulder length hair, parted straight down the middle, eyes lazy, the color varying between a brilliant ash gray and soft cool gray, nose (he paused at the man's nose for a minute—weird from a certain angle the guy almost seemed to have a snout like an animal, wolf maybe?) he shook his head and continued his assessment.

Mouth, thin but his upper lip was slightly fuller than his lower one.

/_**Mm and the color makes me think of caramels and butter cream. And that slight goatee? Very fitting some how/**_

Ichigo shook his head once more and took in the rest of the man's appearance.

The fancy three-piece tuxedo did not hide those delicious layers of fine muscle. The man wasn't ripped like Kenpachi, nor was he lanky and long limbed like Nnoitra, rather he was—/_**perfect/**_

Ichigo scowled.

_**/What the hell is wrong with me? Why the hell am I checking out a complete stranger—the guy could be a rapist for all I know—/**_

"Much as I love watching you watching me, we really must be on our way," the stranger glanced at his watch "Hali hates it when I'm late."

"Huh?"

The man's voice was lazy but not in a bored way—more of a bedroom drawl.

Ichigo mentally slapped himself when a low chuckle reached his ears.

"Sorry uh who? What—he cleared his throat and backed away a few inches (how the hell had he gotten so close to the guy, he wasn't really sure—right um who are you? How the hell do you know my sisters and more importantly, why are you dressed so (_**SEXY**_) strangely?"

"The name is Coyote Starrk," he held a white gloved hand out to the berry (silently prompting the younger male to do the same)

Ichigo offered his hand (fully expecting a shake)

He jumped when his hand was brought to the older mans' mouth for a soft kiss.

"What the hell?"

Heavy lidded eyes smiled warmly at him "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Ichigo. Ishida-kun has told me a great deal about you."

"Um what?"

"I work with Ishida-kun over at Quincy Bank. I wanted to meet you sooner but I've been out of town for the last 2 and half weeks, only just returned home last night."

"Ishida?"

"Mm hmm he's a bit uptight for someone his age but," a small smirk "he certainly has excellent taste,"

The man gave him an appreciative once over.

Ichigo felt himself blush to tips of his ears "Um thanks I guess but uh—

"Yes?"

"Nothing. So what's with the tux and why did my sisters let you sit alone in my house for half a day? Better yet, why didn't they wake me?"

"I am wearing the suit because we are going to the Opera house. No one bothered to wake you because you needed to sleep. And any other questions you might have can be asked on the way there."

"Er w—

"I'm going to call Hali while you get dressed,"

()()()()()

Hn the guy actually has the decency to leave the room while I get ready? That's rare.

()()()()()()()

During the Intermission while Starrk went to the bathroom, Ichigo received a text message from Kenpachi.

**ENJOY YOURSELF =)**

Had it been Renji or Rukia, he would've told them to shut up or mind their own business—but Kenpachi was special—while it was true he'd only met the man just a short while ago, he'd formed a certain kind of bond.

So he responded with a…

**THANKS, I'll TRY!**

()()()()())()

Ichigo never cared much for fine cuisine but it probably would've been rather tacky to go to some grease spoon dressed in a tux.

In the end, the traditional Japanese lobster served in a butter sauce was a perfect match for the crisp white wine the older man had selected.

()()()()()()

The guy was so well mannered. It almost seemed to good to be true.

Ichigo couldn't help but wonder when the façade would fade?

When the man would reveal his true intentions?

What ugly skeletons did he have hiding in his closet?

()()()()()()

_There was no falling into the elevator, no being pressed up against the wall, no crashing of mouths or tangling of limbs. No fumbling of fingers or stripping out of clothing. No harsh cries or soft guttural moans_

There was only—

Fingers (still encased in white gloves) swept over his brow and over his half lidded eyes and nose, traced the lining of his lips, (lingering for only the briefest of moments) before moving on to caress his boyish jaw line and quickly reddening cheeks.

()()()()()

One hand rested on his lower back while the other cradled his face.

He could smell the man's aftershave. A fresh clean scent, carrying just the tiniest hint of hickory smoke and spice.

()()()()()

Sure Ichigo had read about this kind of thing—the kind of sensation one could get from a simple kiss—but he never actually believed it. Never believed that feeling the older man's soft, slightly chapped lips sliding against his own, could leave him feeling so—

A tongue slid against the seam of his lips, not biting or pulling but gently coaxing him to open his mouth for entry.

()()()()()()()

(Karin)

"Think every thing is okay?"

"I think things are better than okay."

"Really, what makes you say that?"

"Just a feeling."

Karin smiled against her boyfriend's chest and fell asleep.

()()()()()()

_This was the part where Starrk would lift him into his arms and carry him to the bed. The part where Starrk would stop being such a damn gentleman and unleash the wolf!_

**REALITY REALLY TRULY SUCKED!**

A kiss to his forehead, a quiet "good night" and then-

The man left him standing there (like a dumb ass) in the bedroom doorway, turned his back to him and made his way over to the futon propped up against the window, climbed into bed and fell asleep.

_**/WTF?/**_

Ichigo let out a frustrated sigh and made his way into the bathroom, fully intent on getting rid of his (not-so-little) problem.

()()()()()()

**Feb 15th**

Walking out of the bathroom with a toothbrush dangling from the side of his mouth wasn't exactly sexy or inviting in any way.

But apparently Starrk seemed to think differently.

"Strip and then lie down on the bed."

()()()()()()

Okay

1) Ichigo did not appreciate being ordered around!

And

2) He wasn't just going to strip out of his pajamas and spread him self like a good little fuck toy after this man left him high and dry!

Grey eyes flashed, silently daring him to protest.

Ichigo mentally cursed himself

'_Damn why does he have to be so damn sexy? And why the hell am I so damn weak?'_

()()()()()()()()

"I won't sugar coat anything. Nor will I lie to you. I enjoy having sex. A lot of sex. I planned to have sex with you back when I first heard about you. I hadn't even learned your full name and still I just knew from the way Ishida-kun described you, that I would want to have sex with you. And that I would have sex with you once we finally met.

Yesterday while you slept, I masturbated (many times) to the sound of your soft breathing—the way your lovely mouth parts ever so slightly, the way you cling to that silly blue panther plushie, the way your bare midriff is exposed when you stretch your arm above your head. The way y—

"Gods please just stop!"

Ichigo was brighter than a cherry tomato.

This man was a little too honest—not that he didn't appreciate the truth but—did he have to be so descriptive and—?

"You made the most beautiful sounds last night. I almost—no I was, indeed jealous of the bathtub. Had half a mind to come in there and join but it didn't seem like the right thing to do. I touched my self and imagined it was y-"

"I—please I'm g-" Ichigo let out a flustered and embarrassed moan.

"It's perfectly natural, nothing to be ashamed of, please all I ask of you is one thing:

Gloved hands titled his chin upwards "Do not deny yourself. Do not hold back. Let it all—

"Ngh—jus—I"

"You're trembling, your entire body has broken out into a sweat, you really shouldn't torture yourself like this, _Ichigo_."

A gloved hand brushed just the tip of his weeping cock.

()()()()()()()()()

He passed out from an orgasm?

What the hell—talk about amateur!

Ichigo wanted to bury his head beneath the heaviest rock and never come out—instead he attempted to suffocate himself with his pillow.

()()()()()()

(Starrk)

Sweet heavens the younger male was beautiful—even as he tried to hide himself from view, no doubt cursing himself for something that he really had no control over.

Starrk licked his cum covered glove, the taste—ah it was indescribable—sweeter than any candy, fruit or flower.

He decided right then and there that he would not let any one else have Ichigo. He would not let the berry walk away from him. He would do everything in his power, in his soul, to make sure that he and the orange haired male would never have to part.

Starrk was no fool! It was not love, much too soon for that. But the possibility, the chance—the silver lining—the road to love was there.

He knew it. Because Starrk did not love easily. It took a lot for him to even like someone let alone love them—he'd known Ichigo for less than 24 hours—but it didn't matter—somehow it didn't matter because his heart, his mind, his soul, his gut instinct, every bone, muscle, blood vessel in his body, was telling him to give this a chance.

To convince Ichigo to give this a chance.

Slowly-gently-it was unnecessary to use force-

Starrk pulled the pillow away from the orange haired male and his tone was light but commanding as he said, "Look at me."

()()()

Less than a minute later with his face still flushed Ichigo forced himself to meet the man's gaze-determined not to turn away or pass out this time as he breathed out "Only if this means you'll let me look at the rest of you?"

When nerves try to get the best of you fight it with a healthy dose of cheekiness.

At least this was Ichigo's motto.

()()()()()()()

There were so many layers left to unfold-so many sides to Ichigo. Starrk could feel his inner wolf beginning to grow restless-certainly didn't help matters that the orange haired male had grown bold and was now stretching his lithe nude form in the most delicious of ways.

Teasing perhaps?

With the way shapely fingers were slowly trailing there way over tight abs before making there way back up to peach creamed colored nipples-circling and pinching-making them hard

Half lidded gaze and a small smirk "This can be all yours if y-

Starrk didn't mean to be rude-but there was no way he could let Ichigo finish his sentence-

Not when there were far more important matters to take care of-

Like quickly stripping out of his own clothes and then claiming the orange haired male at last!

()()()

(Ichigo)

**1 month later…**

Starrk was in the shower. He had wanted to join him but was too sore to even blink, let alone get up and walk.

There was a tap on the window, an exotic bird sat perched on the sill—a tiny rolled up slip of parchment, tied to its foot.

Finding hidden strength coming from out of nowhere, Ichigo jumped out of bed and let the bird in.

It flapped around for a bit before landing on his pillow.

Ichigo carefully lifted the animal's foot and untied the letter, unrolled it and read.

_**Sure you're ready to settle down so soon pet? We could have some real fun, you and me, lots of leather—I know how much you like the leather you lewd little slut! My little slut, you might be married to a Coyote now but don't think I won't slip in every now and then and scratch your itch. I know you still itch for me, pet!**_

Bring your ass to Spain already, I'll show you the true meaning of riding bulls!

_**~N.J.~**_

Ichigo rolled his eyes at Nnoitra's letter. Hadn't the guy ever heard of censoring? Then again—he smiled fondly_—'would I really want him any other way?'_

"I hope that smile is for me, I'd hate think a letter from one of your past lovers is bringing you more happiness than I do."

"Do I detect the slightest hint of jealously in your voice, Starrk?"

Ichigo couldn't help but tease.

He loved getting his lover all riled up! Loved how the man's lazy eyes blazed to life with hidden possessiveness and newfound love.

Yes he could see it in the older man's eyes, hear it is the older man's tone, feel it in the older man's touch, the older man's kisses—love-but he couldn't return it—yet.

Ichigo was still recovering from the harsh blow from his ex-girlfriend.

While he could never bring himself to hate her—he no longer kept in close contact with the woman—only calling her periodically to check in on little Adel.

He didn't want to dwell on the past anymore—he wanted to move forward with—**with Starrk.**

**END**


	5. BERRY IN HOLLOW HEAVEN

SHOT #5

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. I WILL NEVER OWN BLEACH. I DID NOT CREATE ICHIGO OR ANY OTHER THE OTHER CHARACTERS. I DID NOT CREATE THE AIICHI GOODNESS IN CHAPTER **388..BRIEF AS IT WAS. STILL** ALL THE CREDIT GOES TO KUBO SENSEI. HE IS A GENIUS.

WARNINGS; FIRST PERSON POV, OOC-NESS, SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 388, CRACK, HUMOR (ROLLS EYES), LANGUAGE, MIND TRICKERY, EVERYONE WANTS THE BERRY BUT NO ONE GETS AS CLOSE TO HIM AS AIZEN-SAMA. SURPRISE PAIRING AT THE VERY END.

**BERRY IN HOLLOW HEAVEN**

ICHIGO'S POV

**I understand that I'm the main character and everything but is it really necessary to have such a long inner monologue with myself?**

**Apparently so**

_Don't look at his Shikai._

_/In order to do that, I have to finish this in one shot. Cut him down. Cut him down!_

_I'm behind him!/_

**Why is it that the villains always feel the need to offer a greeting, almost mocking the fact that you're ready to slice their head off?**

"It's been a long time…_Ryoka boy_."

**Has it really been that long? Seriously for some big bad evil genius the guy obviously doesn't keep track of his calendar. I've been up to my neck in battles for countless days, months now and I've seen his arrogant face more than I can possibly stomach.**

**Okay so technically that's not entirely true—for a villain he's actually kind of easy of the eyes.**

**Gods! I sound like such a chick.**

**Right er back to the hero-esque stuff!**

_He blocked my first attack!_

"The attack was good but the location was poor. The back of the neck is a living creature's greatest blind spot.

**The pause and then…**

**The look…**

"Did you think I would show up to battle without preparing any kind of defense in such a place?"

**Which quite obviously translated to: Foolish little Ryoka boy, have you learned nothing?**

**I swear if this guy wasn't so damn—argg!**

_How stupid of me. Some part of me was scared. I thought that I might not be able to control my hollowfication. And made a bad split second decision._

**Really though was it really necessary for the hero to constantly berate himself? I mean I know I don't always make the wisest choices but I usually find some way or another to…**

_I should've hollowfied before firing off that attack!_

**There I was ready to pat myself on the back when yet again the big bad villain decides to open his big fat mouth!**

**Okay so there was nothing fat about the man, but damn it what the hell, I'm the hero here so I should have the upper hand.**

"Shall I try to guess what you're thinking? _'I made a mistake in judgment with the first atttack'…I should've hollowfied before firing it.'…If I had done so, I could've finished this in one attack.'_

**That look again**

"Give it a try. I will show you how presumptuous that idea is."

**I was so going to kill him now!**

**Not that he seemed all that convinced**

**Rather his voice was taunting…**

"That's right come at me."

_GETSUGA TENSHOU!_

**Never failed me before. And the fangirls really love it or so I've been told. Too bad for me the only thing I seemed to attract in this world were perverts from my own sex.**

**Bit annoying really.**

**I mean who the hell came up with the rule where the main character should be prime uke, the perfect bait for ravenous semes anyway?**

**Shh inner monologue is being put on pause in favor of the bastard villain once again. Swear they get all the good parts…so not fair!**

"What's wrong? You didn't hit me?"

**Really you'd think this guy enjoyed hearing the sound of his own voice. Blah, blah, blah, stop babbling and just fight me!**

"Why are you putting so much distance between us? If you want to make sure it hits me, then you should get close and fire or…

**Or…freakin' Or. You know I've always hated that word, its like a natural set up for another mocking session.**

**Swear did this bastard get some kind of perverse pleasure out of making me look and feel like a complete and total idiot?**

**Snorts. I wouldn't put it past the guy.**

"Is it that you're afraid of letting even a part of me out of your field of vision by getting close?"

**Right and cue more I'm big bad, what I say goes, blah blah blah I'll do what I want and nananana…**

**Look boys and girls it lecture time with Aizen the all Knowning I'm-Such-A-BADASS-I don't even need to lift a finger to win.**

"If that's the case, then it's a foolish thought. Distance only has meaning in a fight between those who possess equal power. With you and I, distance holds no meaning at all."

**What is it with villains thinking they can just creep up and pounce on you, I mean what gives them the right to…?**

"Watch if I do this, my hand…is almost instantly at your _heart_"

**And in that moment I was suddenly transported to a place, which was unlike anything else I've ever known. And that's saying something considering I've seen some pretty weird shit during the past 15 years plus.**

**But you did not come here to listen to me ramble. You've come for a story. **

**A story is exactly what you will get…**

**()()()()()()()()**

**You know how they say your life flashes before you when you die, well nothing like that happened. So I concluded that I wasn't dying but rather…**

"Welcome to Hollow Heaven, please watch your step, for if you should tread to lightly on the cloudy path, you'll start to sink. However, should you tread to heavily on the cloudy path, you'll break the cloud**."**

**Just my luck—I swear heroes always get the short end of the stick.**

"So how do I cross this road then? Am I supposed to skip down the merry lane like the stupid little girl in that one fairy tail with the big bad wolf? Suppose I'll need a basket, bonnet and cape to complete the look?"

"Well as amusing as that might be, I suggest you use Sonido or – Shunpo in your case. Any way, give it a go brother."

**Suddenly a hollow appeared out of freaking nowhere. At least I assume it's a hollow, the large white wings with yellow tips was throwing me off a little. Pompous. Tall. Blond. Male. I was no expert but there seemed to be a slight trace of French in his accent. **

**He didn't seem to be all that threatening. And he wasn't attacking me at the moment so I figured he must be one of the nicer hollow.**

**So I simply said my thanks and then shunpo-ed down the cloudy path.**

**()()()()()()**

**Couldn't really be sure how much time had passed it felt like I was shunpo-ing forever, so much pink and yellow swam before my vision.**

**During that time since there was no one around to talk to or ask questions—I began to talk aloud or rather—talk loudly inside my head that is, figured my inner hollow could give me an answer or two.**

**Sure hadn't expected to find the usual upside down buildings to be repainted in bubblegum pink with black trim, the sky itself more lavender than blue and the clouds? **

**There were no clouds.**

**My hollow self looked a bit different as well.**

**Just like the guy I had met at the entrance (at least I'll assume it was an entrance—but anyway) he was wearing white wings and the tips were dipped in a dark cherry color. He was smiling.**

**Not the 'I'll kill you when you become weak' smile. Not the 'I'll rip out your soul and play with it like a Frisbee' smile. Not the 'I know something you don't know' smile. Not the 'You're pathetic' smile but rather—**

"Hey Aibou, gotta say I'm loving the new look but then again,"

**He stopped to do the villain thing (not that he was a villain mind you but still- **

**He smirked**

"But then again you've always had nice legs so—

**I naturally, in perfect 'hero equals clueless uke' mode, rose a brow.**

**He giggled and pointed down at where my legs would be.**

**Oh they weren't missing or anything—rather it was…**

"Booty shorts humans call em' right?"

**He cocked his head to the side **

"You'd probably fill out a pair of speedos quite nicely too."

**Naturally I did the total uke thing**

"Stop looking at me!"

**My face was surely turning a bright red at the moment.**

"Ichigo."

**I knew it was Zan even before I turned around. **

**Compared to my hollow, Zan looked quite normal—well for the most part.**

**His eyes were no longer covered by dark shades but rather—he was wearing cherry red shades, same exact color as the end of my hollow's wings.**

"Whatdya think King? Thought the ole man and I should give the whole gettin' long thing a try. Figured wearin' the same shade of red somewhere on our human like forms was a good place to start."

"Um okay but why wings?"

**I actually wanted to ask the pompous blond male at the front gates the very same question but fearing that I might have offended him some way, I bit my tongue.**

**There was no reason to bite my tongue around my hollow.**

**Since he was basically me—just a darker part.**

"What ya think I'm not worthy? I can be pretty angelic when I wanna be. I'll have ya know that right before I was reincarnated into ya hollow form, I was the number cupid in Myth Magazine."

**I had no idea what Myth Magazine was. Nor did I wish to find out what my inner hollow might have been doing before he showed up in the deeper recesses of my mind one day—it just felt wrong some how.**

**Or maybe I felt that if I knew it would some how mean that I had gone through a similar experience—made me want to like my inner hollow.**

**And there was no way in hell I could do that.**

**I was reading too much into this. He was probably messing with me because I mean really how the hell could something like that**

"Be possible?"

**I hadn't realized I wound up saying that last part out loud until my hollow, let's just call him Shirosaki from here on out— started shouting.**

"Ya fucking idiot! Have they taught ya nothing at Hollow Academy!"

**I had no idea what he was talking about—you know sometimes I think Shirosaki forgets that I'm human, not an ordinary human mind you, but human nonetheless.**

**Like villains and inner hollows alike, mine started going on a ranting tirade.**

"Damn it! I told those damn bastards not to bring ya here unless ya went to the Academy first. Stupid fucktards never—swear hafta do everything round here—

"Okay King here's the deal…

**Deal what deal? Oh why did I have a bad feeling about this?**

"Right now you are in Hollow Heaven, it's a lot like an afterlife paradise for hollows—though not everyone here is hollow—never mind any of that—any way you've been brought here because as things stand your life pretty much sucks!"

**I felt no need to object to that because he was right. My life did pretty much suck out loud—and if the current battle I had been ripped away from at the moment—was anything to go by well…**

**I doubt it was going to get better any time soon.**

"There are two paths. One path will lead ya to the exit gate, the other will lead ya to another universe—not necessarily a bad thing but should you choose that path, ya might regain everything ya hold dear but lose a sense of yourself.

Ya might not. Hell ya might not even be in the same body anymore. Use caution.

Should ya choose the path that leads ya to the exit gate—well chances are that you'll wind up right back in the middle of the war—there is no guarantee that the shinigami will win though. No guarantee that finding the exit gate will truly be your ticket to freedom."

**Peachy. **

"You'll meet several guides through out your journey—some you'll recognize, others maybe not so much. Do not let yourself fall into their traps. While hollows can do no harm to ya here, they do like to distract ya, manipulate ya and if they choose to do so, pounce on ya.

Now the zanpakuto ya currently have is more or less useless to ya here. The only thing your zanpakuto can do for you is allow ya to call upon either me or the ole' man.

Well guess that's it, knock em' dead King!—well technically ya can't kill them anymore more than they can kill ya but—

"Good luck Ichigo."

**I don't think Shirosaki appreciated having Zan cut him off like that but—**

"Wait! Can I at least have my regular clothes back?"

"Hmm nah but to be fair I'll give ya this—

**He tossed me a single robe in a midnight blue color, it looked more like I was going to bed or preparing to take a bath rather than going out on some long journey but—it was leaps and bounds better than the booty shorts. **

**Well technically they were still on, but at least now the long robe covered them as well as a good portion of my legs. I felt more like myself.**

**And then (quite unceremoniously) I was booted out of my inner world.**

**And landed flat on my ass on top of a large fluffy pink cloud.**

**It did not break which meant my luck was looking up.**

**I stood up and then continued shunpo-ing down the yellow brick—er I mean the yellow and pink cloudy path.**

"Oi carrot-top would you mind slowing down a bit, **it's **kind of difficult to tell you anything if you're constantly flying at top speed like this."

**It was that blond hollow again. This time he looked—well not nearly as friendly. **

"Um hi."

"Look we haven't got much time and technically I should have told you this in the beginning but it kind of—

"Slipped your mind?"

"Don't cut me off! That's incredibly rude. Any way so now that you're aware of your mission, it is my duty to discuss the levels with you."

"Levels? What levels?"

"Stages, sections, levels whatever you wanna call em. It's all the same carrot-bro. Look before we go any further, introductions are in order."

**And cue dramatic pausing.**

**The hollow flicked his blond hair behind his shoulder much in the way a female would do. I felt a little embarrassed for the male population at that moment.**

**I mean no respectable male (hollow, human, shinigami, whatever) if you come equipped with a penis, you should not flick your hair!**

"I'm Ilforte Grantz or Yylfort Granz, whichever one you prefer, I truthfully do I not care. I am kind of like welcome guide if you will—not the best job—but considering how arrogant I was right before that tattooed redhead brother blasted me to bits—well any way the levels—

Now there are several levels/floors in hollow heaven. You are currently on the first floor, ground level. Nothing exciting happens here on the first floor. Just learn the rules and regulations—that kind of thing. Once you reach the second level, you'll notice a difference in either the air or something else about your surroundings.

We call it the level of ceremony."

"Ceremony? What kind of ceremony?"

"Never mind that, just know that it is a celebration that a hollow goes through."

"I'm not a hollow!"

"Well technically none of us are—not anymore

**I felt confused. What did he mean by that? Just what was going on? If he wasn't a hollow then what was he doing here in a place called hollow heaven. He looked entirely too amused with the situation.**

**It pissed me off!**

"What do you mean by that?"

"Never mind it is not important."

**The hell it isn't!**

"Focus carrot-bro we don't have much time left and honestly I don't feel like being bitched at by that hollow half of yours so—

"Wait how do y—

"Who hasn't heard of the incredible Ryoka turned shinigami turned vizard?"

**He looked bored. Not that I gave a damn. It's not like I asked him to do any of this. I'm sure I could just slip back into my inner world and find out about these levels or whatever from Zan or Shirosaki.**

"The celebration usually ties in with your past."

"My past?"

"I can not give you any details, you will find out when you get there. Moving on to level 3, a place with many doors. The door can lead you just about anywhere and I mean **anywhere**, so do be careful. Level 4 in some ways is similar to level 3 however level 4, is a place where one such as your self can lose his sanity.

"Sanity?"

"Now don't get all freaked out, you're kinda special so I'll tell you what carrot-bro, I'll give you some advice so you can pass level four. Look for 2 beings, one is notorious for sleeping, the other if memory serves me correctly by human terms, is called a sharp shooter. They will help you fight off any negative forces or enemies you might encounter. In return you'll have to give them something that you consider valuable—I wouldn't suggest handing over your weapon but I suppose there are far worse things so—

**As you can imagine, I didn't like the way any of this was sounding. And I found myself asking (not for the first time) just what I had done to deserve such a complicated life?**

"Level 5 is my personal favorite. There you will find out what your true path is—now this one is a bit tricky but also the most important. It's almost like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Makes you feel like you really are worth something. You get to see the true character behind the mask. Those you thought you knew and those you don't.

The final level you will come across a fork in the road—the direction you take will either be the end of it all or the start of something grand.

You will see me two other times throughout your journey, ask me anything and I'll answer if I can. Well carrot-bro or do you prefer to be called Ichigo?"

**I nodded.**

"Yeah I do."

"Right well catch ya round then, Ichigo."

**And just like that, he vanished, leaving nothing but a sparkly swirl of gold behind.**

**I swear whoever created this place must be having a freaking field day—knowing full well how totally unmanly and un-hero-esque all this pink and yellow was.**

**Yeah, yeah chuck it up I have orange hair there for I must surely belong in a place that is just as colorful.**

**Well at least my robe wasn't pink or yellow—that would have been much worse.**

**()()()()()()()**

**I was beginning to think that the blond hollow was messing with me after all, since it had surely been hours and nothing changed—but then…**

**It happened.**

**The clouds shifted, suddenly becoming more rock like.**

**I concluded that I had finally come to the second level.**

**It was too soon to tell exactly what the shape shifting clouds meant but for some reason it didn't bother me much.**

**Strangely enough I felt kind of relaxed.**

**In a way I hadn't felt in years.**

**Felt no need or desire to shout out at whoever might be here on level 2. **

**Hollow Heaven I decided might not be such a bad place to be.**

**It was peaceful and quiet.**

**Maybe it was more like a retreat. A paradise even.**

**I suppose even hollows needed a vacation every now and then.**

**Not that I was hollow. I'm human but—**

**Well it wouldn't be the first time I was dragged into a world I didn't belong in.**

**Without fully understanding why I began to consider Shirosaki's earlier words.**

"_What ya think I'm not worthy? I can be pretty angelic when I wanna be. I'll have ya know that right before I was reincarnated into ya hollow form, I was the number cupid in Myth Magazine."_

**What had he meant by that exactly?**

**Was he trying to tell me that he hadn't always been some sort of creature hell bent on death and destruction?**

**And what about the other hollows?**

**Or the Espada as they had been called?**

**Perhaps they were simply misunderstood creatures and had felt that their actions were justified.**

**Had they been humans at one time too?**

**Wait! I didn't even have to ask that question.**

**I already knew the answer.**

**Sure they had been humans.**

**Humans who had their happy lives ripped away from them?**

**Maybe their human lives hadn't been happy at all but rather—**

**I'm the hero and as the hero I should be thinking positively.**

**So**

**I thought of Nel.**

**Perhaps she had been a simple farm girl who liked to play with the animals in the barn?**

**Or maybe she had been an heiress to a royal family and her two companions had been her loyal servants?**

**Then I thought of Grimmjow.**

**He was such an angry individual.**

**But I knew, I saw it behind that gaze filled with hate and rage there was—**

**What had his human life been like?**

**Maybe he had been a zookeeper?**

**Or a famous stuntman?**

**The possibilities were endless.**

**It was not the first time these kinds of thoughts crossed my mind.**

**I've always thought there had to be more to that—**

**Shinji and the other vizards.**

**They didn't fit in anywhere. **

**They spoke of humans and shinigami in a less than positive manner and they slaughtered hollows with out barely batting an eye.**

**It seemed like they hated every living being outside of their own tight knit group.**

**I didn't really believe any of them were dead—just badly injured and in a dead like state.**

**Still—**

**If they hated everyone why had they—**

**Why had I—**

**I honestly don't know what to consider myself.**

**I didn't really consider my self a true shinigami or substitute shinigami, if you wanna get all technical.**

**Trutfully I hated that word.**

**To me being a substitute means someone who fills in for others. Some who barely scrapes by and lives to tell the tale.**

**It irritated me. **

**I wasn't one to boast but I could (with a little help from my two inner companions) wipe all of Soul Society out.**

**I would never voice this out loud—but I really did think it was stupid of the shinigami to underestimate me.**

**To treat me like just another Ryoka boy.**

**They claimed to acknowledge my skill, my power, my growing potential—**

**But did they really?**

**I think—no I couldn't bring myself to say it yet.**

**It was not the first time I—Aizen did have point but—**

**Even though I wanted to take a moment and listen—**

**Get the other side of the story—**

**No!**

**There was still Rukia and the others—**

**Aizen and his followers meant nothing.**

**I would cut them down just as I had—**

**Look I'm not a cold blooded killer I just—**

**I would do what was necessary in order to protect the ones that are important to me.**

**I don't really care what happens to me.**

**While I have no real desire to die it wouldn't really—**

**After I lost my mother all of those years ago I was—**

**In some ways I did die.**

**I took a moment to ask myself 'What if Aizen does win?'**

**Why did it really matter?**

**I mean so long as Rukia, my family and friends were fine why should it—**

**Could I really turn my back on the rest of Soul Society simply because I didn't know them that well?**

**Rukia would never forgive me. Hell—I'd never forgive myself!**

**I still felt—not guilt exactly but something that was different from pity at the thought of the Espada who had fought and fallen—**

**Would I run into them here?**

**Or was it too early.**

**Did they have to go through some kind of trial in order to even make it here?**

**Perhaps there was some type of—**

**Why did I care so much about them any way?**

**I mean Grimmjow had nearly killed both Rukia and Inoue and—**

**Well Nel was different—even if she had been an enemy I doubt I could've—**

**Enemy, was that really a word to describe Grimmjow and the others?**

**Hadn't I just—I know what I saw and—**

**No heart. No Soul and yet—those creatures had—**

**This was stupid! I needed to stop wasting time.**

**I needed to hurry up and get past this level so I could get closer to the exit door.**

**Just sitting here on this cloud turned rock wasn't doing me any good.**

**I stood up and continued on wondering 'Who would I run into next?**

**You know those times where you wonder who you'll run into next and then you actually run right into them. Well—I experienced this first hand.**

**She wasn't the ugliest thing er-I mean hollow I had ever seen. Something about her reminded me of a witch—not the kind you see in those foreign tales like the wizard of oz or that fat octopus in that tale about the singing mermaid under the sea but rather—**

**She had bright purple hair in large ringed spirals, makeup, a very theatrical type of look to it. Her eyes were large and paler than her hair. Her face was pale, a single purple teardrop painted right beneath each eye. Her outfit was somewhere between gothic and angelic. Her wings looked even more exaggerated because of her puffy sleeves.**

**I guess she was what one might refer to as 'A hot mess'**

**Not my type—not that I had much of type really but**

**Any way I never met her before but something about her smile said she knew me or knew of me.**

**Was there really that big of a difference?**

**When she finally opened her plum painted mouth to speak, her tone of voice suggested that I would be a good little mouse to play with it.**

**Naturally, it was pretty fucking creepy.**

**Not that I would admit it out loud.**

"I'm Cirucci Sanderwicci, your next guide and I know why you're here but you certainly can't attend a ceremony dressed in that."

**There was that word again.**

"Ceremony?"

**She threw her head back and I kid you not—cackled like a witch **

"Follow me!"

**Did I really have a choice?**

**According to that Grantz guy, the ceremony tied in with my past.**

**It would be a lie if I said I wasn't curious to know exactly what this might mean.**

**I just hoped it wasn't anything too disturbing.**

**()()()()()()**

**The clouds turned rocks were beginning to shift again—this time into a grand marble staircase—I never cared much for marble.**

**Too slippery and fine way for one to crack his/her head open.**

**The Gothic/Angelic guide insisted that we walk up the stairs at a leisurely pace instead of racing to the top.**

**She called it 'making a dramatic entrance.'**

**I thought it was a bit ridiculous.**

**I mean I'm the hero, wasn't my mere presence dramatic enough?  
**

**For a few minutes my mind slipped off into thoughts about Rukia and the others.**

**I wondered if they were experiencing something similar or perhaps I really was dead and they were standing over my body?**

**But no that didn't make any sense.**

**Aizen had touched me (and while it was pretty clear that it wouldn't take much for that man to finish me off if he saw fit to do so—I think—No I know that surely I would've felt some type of pain if death had come to me.**

**So I wasn't dead but on a journey.**

**It didn't make any sense.**

**Why would the big bad villain help the hero achieve his true destiny anyway?**

**I figured I'd probably find out why towards the end.**

**A loud drumming sound from the distance reached my ears, pulling me away from my thoughts and back to the here and now.**

**I stopped walking as Cirucci screeched out a loud **'Halt!'

**We stopped in front of a large door decorated in you guessed it—bubblegum pink flowers and yellow ribbons.**

**Just as I was about to ask what went beyond this garish uber girly door—it swung open by it self.**

**Cirucci none too gently, pulled me inside.**

**Now if I were a chick I'd probably be squealing in delight right about now.**

**It was quite possibly the largest dressing room I'd ever laid my eyes on. But it's not a hero's job to give you details—I've leave the flowery words, long dramatic pausing and exaggerated arm waving to the villains.**

"Seems every one has left already. Oh well it's better this way anyway."

**Cirucci sat me down in a chair and yanked me out of my blue robe. She tossed it carelessly somewhere on the other side of the large room.**

**She picked up a moist cloth and wiped my face and neck—I immediately cut her off when she made a move for my exposed chest.**

**There was no way she was touching that area. It was bad enough I already had –no best not to think of him.**

**Cirucci shrugged and lifted up my arms, where she than buried her upturned nose right into the pits. She took a few sniffs and then set them back down at my sides.**

**I was glad she was nice enough to let me leave my bottom half on. **

**I was not nor would I ever be an exhibitionist.**

"Catch!"

**Cirucci tossed me a bundle of silky fabrics—thankfully not in the colors of pink or yellow or even purple like her.**

**I brushed it against my cheek—shh don't tell but I have a fondness for soft clothing.**

**It took a minute to realize what exactly it was that I was nuzzling so fondly—a reversed Shihakusho**

**I felt violated!**

"Get serious Cirucci, just because I'm trapped here in Hollow Heaven, that does not mean I'm going to dress like one!"

**She threw her head back and again, laughing and this time almost whacking me in the face with her overly large wings.**

**I glared at her.**

**She shrugged and then forced me into the fabric.**

**Promise you'll keep another secret?**

**It felt pretty nice against my almost completely bare skin, probably nicer and softer than any silk I've ever come across.**

**See the world would be a much happier place if villains spent more time designing clothes and less time slaughtering their prey.**

"See I knew you'd embrace your true hollow nature."

**Her voice was highly amused.**

**She raised her whip as if to strike **

"Time to go to the ceremony."

()()()()()()

**You know those times when a scene seems to slow down so much it almost feels like you're walking backwards and then you come to an abrupt stop, feet cannot move and you find yourself just frozen?**

**Well I do because it was happening.**

**How the bastard could be in two places at once was not something that even mattered much to me at the moment—no it was the other one.**

**The woman speaking with him—she was the one responsible for my frozen state.**

**My gut clenched tightly around me—I felt like the term suffocation was not nearly a strong enough word to describe.**

**There was no way—it couldn't be**

**She couldn't be—but those eyes, that hair—a white bone curled around her neck like a boa constrictor but she didn't appear to be in pain—**

**Her smile was radiant **

"K-Kaa-san?"

**()()()()()()()()**

**I've read about this kind of thing—that moment where the villain dangles something that the hero desperately wants or has been searching for—in front of his face.**

**But I didn't think Aizen would sink this low—not that I knew the guy personally—but according to Unohana and the other taichou's—Aizen is a man of many faces but he wouldn't do something unless it was beneficial to him in some way.**

**So I asked myself.**

**For what purpose or rather—what would Aizen gain from turning my mother into a hollow?**

**Perhaps that was the incorrect question since the Grand Fisher was responsible for my mother's death, not Aizen.**

**But then—it just didn't make any sense—my mother had come to me after her death many times, assuring me that she was at peace and that she was no longer in danger.**

**So maybe this wasn't her at all but another one of Aizen's illusions—I've heard about this kind of thing too.**

**But again what the hell could he gain from this?**

**Did he think that I would join his side if it meant I could see a hollow that resembled my dead mother?**

**I reminded myself that she was not in pain—and that she was perfectly at ease—hell companionable even around this guy—**

**Finally I regained control over my frozen limbs and moved**

**Moved towards her—the closer and closer I got to her the more the doubts and fears seemed to slip away.**

**Not even the bastard's natural villainous aura could taint the warmth and peace I felt washing over me.**

**She turned as if sensing I was there.**

**She raised her hand and touched my cheek—her eyes were warm as she continued mapping out my face.**

**And then finally she spoke **

"Ichigo."

**It was just my name but it meant so much to me.**

**Everything just faded into the back round—it was just my mother and myself now—nothing else mattered.**

**Then the bastard had to ruin it by saying**

'What you see before you is not an illusion. She is in fact here with you right now and she can continue to be with you if you agree to one thing."

**I scoffed**

"Really? What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"Listen to him Ichigo."

**My mother's voice was almost pleading but not quite.**

**Still—I felt torn and then rather reluctantly asked**

"What do you want from me Aizen?"

**I wanted to call him a bastard right to his face I don't think my mother would have approved that kind of behavior—so I bit my tongue for the moment.**

"What do I want from you?"

**It was seriously annoying that he kept smirking in that way of his.**

"I want what everyone else wants—

**And cue dramatic pausing—I told you villains can't resist the dramatic pause, its like second nature to them or something. **

"I want you to give yourself over to me."

**Why did it suddenly sound like this was no longer about the war but a—why did it sound so much like a—**

**His hand was at my chest again and I felt a shudder run through me—**

**The most disturbing part was it wasn't a bad shudder but rather—**

'Are you excited?"

**Bastard. Just because my heart was pounding faster than normal—just because I was developing a slight problem underneath my clothing that did not mean—**

**I shook my head and concentrated on the feeling of my mother's hand on my shoulder. I turned to meet her warm gaze.**

"You spend so much time trying to make others happy. Why won't you let yourself be happy Ichigo?"

**I couldn't believe my ears—what was she saying?**

**I turned to glare at Aizen—he had since lowered his hand but his eyes hadn't left my body once.**

**This time I didn't censor myself as I snarled out **

"You bastard! What the hell did you do to her?"

"I've done nothing."

"Bullshit!"

**I threw an apologetic look at my mother before focusing all of my anger and rage on the bastard.**

"Enough games. Why have you brought me here? What can you possibly gain by doing this? If this woman beside you really is my mother, than release her. Let her go back to heaven—the real one—not this hollow whatever the hell it really is—

**I was on a roll now**

"Weren't you the one who said this is not my fight, that I have no reason to attack or kill you? Weren't you the one who—

**This would be the third time his fingers brushed my chest.**

"Why do you cling to your mortal life when you could be so much more?"

**I snorted**

"And by that you mean one of your followers? Another ass-licker? I'd rather let my inner hollow chew on my organs."

**My mother let out a gasp—I glanced at her face—she looked like she had just been slapped.**

**At that moment I felt like I had failed her all over again.**

**It was too much—I sunk to the floor, all of the energy had been drained out of me.**

**I buried my face in her long white skirt and cried.**

**Cried like the helpless little child so many years ago—I felt her hand slide into my hair, heard her soft melodious voice **

**I couldn't tell you what it was she was singing—the only thing I know is it soothed me.**

**We stayed like that for a long time—the fact that the bastard was watching us pissed me off but I would not let anyone taint what precious moments I had with my mother.**

**()()()()()()**

"Stand up Ichigo."

**I saw no reason not to and besides my knees were getting a bit sore.**

"Look at me."

**My mother's tone was firm—it made me blink a little—not once had she ever**

"What if I told you that everything you have ever known was a lie? What if I told you that Soul Society is not what you think what if I—

"STOP!"

**I cut her off—I had too—I was disgusted. I had no desire to hear poison dripping from her mouth—Aizen's influence again—I was dead sure that he had brainwashed her into saying these things to me.**

**I was well aware that Soul Society was corrupt in many ways but I did not want to live in a world run by hollows with Aizen as the ringleader.**

**She must have sensed my inner bitching session because her eyes looked pained.**

**It sickened me—my mother had not been a weak woman—she wouldn't just crumble at an outburst or something equally human-esque.**

**She is no longer human—assuming this really is her—but she must feel something—surely she did—her eyes were pure—far more pure than one would believe possible for a—**

"What if I told you that my death had been planned—orchestrated by Soul Society itself—that hollows—the Grand Fisher really did have a mind of its own but was brainwashed? What if I told you—

"STOP! Just Stop it already! You're ruining the image of my mother—she would never—she w—

**I started to hyperventilate—not one of my proudest moments**

"She was my mother—she saved me, died for me—I'm the one who should have died—if only I hadn't been so weak—if only—

"What if I told you that you have the power to change it? Would you then reconsider—

"Reconsider what? Do you honestly believe I can find happiness with some bat-shit crazy overlord?"

"This man is not crazy, he has never been crazy. This man, Aizen Sousuke, is trying to make this world—no all of the worlds a better place."

"Kaa—no I can't even call you that anymore—it just—look I don't know who you are, probably some poor tortured soul who was eaten up by a hollow and the bastard next to you gave you her face and—I am truly sorry for no creature should have to—

"Ichigo it is not like you to doubt me. Have you really closed your heart out that much? You don't even recognize what is before you?"

**Why did she have to look so heart broken—I couldn't stand that—**

**I swallowed hard and met her warm amber bronze eyes with my own cinnamon coffee ones**

"I want to believe you, really I do, more than you can possibly imagine but—

**I trailed off—I could no longer look at the one wearing my mothers face.**

"Hollows are not purely evil Ichigo. No creature, living or dead, is purely evil. Remember this as you continue on your journey."

**Why did that sound a lot like good ye?**

**I looked up—the hollow wearing my mother's form was fading away, the bottom half of her already vanished.**

**With in the next few minutes she faded away completely.**

**I felt like a chunk of my heart had been ripped out.**

**There was—how could I have been so stupid?**

"**Kaa-san, come back!"**

**Yes it really had been her—she had been here and I had dismissed her as though she were nothing more than a disposable hollow—no worse than that.**

**I fell to my knees for the second time**

"**KAA-SAN!"**

**()()()()()()**

**How many breakdowns is a hero allowed to have during the course of a lifetime?**

**If there was a limit—I'm sure I had long since passed it.**

**Aizen looked amused—**

**of course he was—this was like the prequel to victory**

**Watch the Ryoka Wonder Boy crash to his knees and cry out for mommy.**

"Man can not truly live with out emotion—you really are interesting Ryo—no Kurosaki Ichigo."

**4, count em' four times his hand had touched my chest—**

**This time it was different from the previous ones**

**I was moving and not moving**

**Sleeping and not sleeping**

**And then I was falling, falling, falling—**

**I landed on a tree branch in the middle of a forest.**

**I blinked**

**WTF?**

"Took you long enough."

**I looked up.**

"Down here."

**I looked down and then jumped, careful to land on the ground and not on the blonde girl.**

"How did I—where—how did I get here?"

"You fell from that invisible door inside the clouds."

"Door?"

"Welcome to Level 3—The first universe—World of Badass Woman with Badass Tempers-"

"Universe?"

"Didn't your first two guides teach you anything?" She rolled her eyes "This is the level of doors, the first door lead you into universe 1, this particular universe is the World of Women."

"Um okay but I'm not a—

"Your mini pears state other wise, strawberry."

"Pears?"

"What you mean to tell me you can't even notice your own boobs? I mean sure their not exactly jugs but their not little omelets either."

**She snorted**

"Follow me, Strawberry. I'll show you around."

"Wait! What?"

"Look this is Universe 1. You're either a chick or a dog. I don't see any tails or ears so you're a chick."

"I'm not a woman!"

"Maybe back home you aren't but here you are."

**She held out her hand**

"I'm Yori but you can call me Yori-san."

**Yori as in Hiyori.**

**I'm such an idiot, can't believe I didn't realize it from the moment I saw her. Though you can hardly blame me I mean her hair was a darker, more honey blond in this universe and her trademark fang was missing. The left side of her mouth was pierced with a tiny silver hoop. She was wearing a tank top and Capri pants in aquamarine color. And her wings were only visible when they directly hit the sunlight.**

"I'm I—

**Wait guess I should alter my name somewhat now that I'm in this universe**

"Call me Ichi."

"Well Ichi-chan, you have a lot to learn and a short time to learn it in."

**What did she mean by that?**

**Like many other things I would find out.**

**()()()()()**

"First stop is the mall. You can't go anywhere dressed like that."

**I looked down noticing that once again my outfit had changed. It was a simple t-shirt and jeans.**

**Yori-san was not impressed.**

"What's wrong with it?"

**She poked me in the ribs.**

"Look here, Ichi-chan no dog will ever pick you if you look like plain jane girl next door."

"What's wrong with being the girl next door?"

"Believe me, you don't want to know."

**We boarded some type of futuristic flying train. There wasn't a person in sight. So I asked Yori-san how the train was being operated.**

**Her only answer was **

"Dog bones."

**I didn't like the sound of that for some reason.**

**()()()()()()**

"Welcome to _**'**__**Hogyoko'**_, I'm Ai."

**Either the bastard had serious gender confusion issues or he just wanted to get his hands on me in every possible way.**

**ON the plus side, it was kind of nice to know that I wasn't the only male turned female in this universe.**

**But really why him?**

**A large red ribbon smoothed back 'her' long wavy brown hair. Large, square-shaped red-tinted designer glasses did not hide those familiar deep brown eyes. 'Her' nose was dainty in this universe, skin tone was paler—her' mouth was pouty and coated with lip-gloss. 'She' was dressed in a white halter-top, a red mini skirt and red and white tennis shoes.**

**I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little but turned on—'her' smirk—oh too familiar to her true face—said she knew it!**

**()()()()()()**

**No I will not tell you what happened in the dressing room.**

**We will not talk about how Ai couldn't seem to get enough of my boobs. We will not discuss how 'she' constantly kept licking them and comparing them to strawberry creamed cupcakes.**

**And we most definitely will not talk about my soaked panties.**

**()()()()()()**

**We were attending 'Chiru's' birthday party because according to Yori-san, that was the place to go when you wanted to find dogs.**

**()()()()()()**

**Chiru turned out to be Yachiru in this universe.**

**It was odd to see an older version of her in this universe. Her hair was the same bubble gum pink, she was still a great deal shorter than a lot of the woman in the room and still had endless energy. But her voice was deeper, sultry even and apparently she was quite a pervert in this universe.**

**Constantly squeezing my newly acquired female assets and then giggling about it.**

**I wondered absentmindedly if I run into Kenpachi in this universe but then the idea of Kenpachi being a woman was too disturbing to even imagine.**

**Course he could always wind up being a dog?**

**That would make a lot more sense.**

**Ah the term dog?**

**Well in this universe it seemed the members of the male population had ears and a tail.**

**There was one dog in particular who seemed to be quite interested in me, Sei, a platinum haired male with ears and tail like a Siberian husky.**

**Sei was quite obviously Kensei in this universe. Personally I found the ears and tail to be a turn on—not that I would admit it out loud.**

**Still Kensei was taken, mated to his mistress Mashi, quite obviously Mashiro in this universe.**

**It made me laugh. Some couples were just destined to be.**

**Another dog with long hair, looked a lot like Shinji but with a collie's features.**

**I think I was supposed to be mated with him or something but I never found out since a poodle came along and snatched me up.**

**Don't laugh, the guy really did have the features of a white poodle.**

**Care to guess who it was?**

**You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you so I'll just come out and say it.**

**It was Toshiro or Toshi in this universe.**

**Any way it was a bit strange because he was still a lot younger shorter than me but well—**

**With out getting detailed let's just say he was quite skilled behind closed doors.**

**Don't give me that look!**

**The way I see it none of this is real and therefore because I'm not really a chick my virginity still remains perfectly intact.**

**Not to say that I didn't feel anything…I did but chalked it all up to being in my head any way…so yeah.**

**()()()()()**

**It looked like a regular bathroom, how was I supposed to know that it would lead me into..**

"Welcome to Universe 2. World of School Boys."

**Thin body, sparkly eyes, long lashes, dressed in a skirt. Glittery wings.**

**One word to describe my next tour guide would be Flamboyant.**

"I'm Lu, some call me Luppi. You can call me whatever you want."

**Okay it didn't take a genius to figure out that everywhere I went I seemed to attract perverts.**

**I'm sure if the bastard could see me now, gazing into his uber villainous crystal ball that he was laughing.**

"School boys?"

**Luppi cocked his head to the side**

"Virgin huh? Let's see now from the looks of it you're about 5'8?"

"5'9."

"Okay 5'9 then, pretty average. Turn."

"Why?"

"Do you want me to pull out?"

**My brows shot straight into my hair.**

"I didn't think so. Now turn."

**So I turned.**

"Hm, firm ass, not an ounce of fat anywhere, reasonably muscular. We'll put you in class B."

Class B?

**With a snap of his fingers like some cheesy sci-fi or cliché magic fantasy world, I was instantly transported to a classroom.**

**The man standing next to me, quite obviously a teacher, looked exactly like Byakuya. I kid you not.**

**There were only a few alterations in his appearance.**

**His long hair was pulled back into a pony-tail, his trademark scarf absent and a small almost unnoticeable smirk was dancing on his lips.**

"Class I trust you can keep your hormones in check long enough to make Kurosaki-kun feel welcome here."

**It was seriously weird to hear Byakuya attach kun to the end of my surname. I had no other choice but to correct him.**

"It's Ichigo. Just Ichigo."

**Byakuya was a man of very little human expression—or rather the Byakuya I was familiar with was—**

**This Byakuya was—well let's just say his silver-violet eyes promised 'punishment' should I so much as dare to correct him again.**

**I felt an all too delicious shudder run through me. **

**This man was—**

"He'll be a fine addition to add to my Spring Collection."

**I looked up.**

**One of the 'school boys, sitting in row 2 second seat away from the window.**

**His voice was high pitched but not in the ear-grating kind of way.**

**Great. Just my luck another pervert to add to the already long list of perverts.**

**The guy was some where between handsome and beautiful.**

**Hair, cotton candy pink, eyes a cross between pink and brown, some might call it amber, hidden behind a pair of glasses which weren't quite rectangular, actually it was difficult to pin point the exact shape. His chin was the most masculine feature on him, jutting out. Over the standard white collared shirt, a matching cotton candy pink vest covered the top half of his body. And unlike the rest of the boys, his dress pants were blinding bright white not black.**

**He looked like he wanted to do some uber non-pg things to me.**

"In you're dreams, sweetie. That new piece of ass belongs to no one but yours truly."

**Another high pitched voice. But this one I was familiar with. And it was the kind of voice that made me think of nightingales. I like it.**

**Not that I'd ever tell him that.**

**Especially since in this universe he was as bad as the rest of them.**

**Hair, sleek and black in color and giving off a purple tint when it directly hit the sunlight. Trademark feathers over his brow. Eyes, lighter than amethyst but darker than violet. I always found that his jaw line gave away his true gender. In this universe it was even more pronounced. He too had altered the standard uniform in favor of wearing a long deep purple jacket with peacock feathers around the collar and the sleeves. His dress plants were black but feathers lined the bottom hem.**

"Ha!"

**I looked up and over, not at all surprised to have connected that loud boisterous laugh with its owner long before our eyes locked.**

**He looked away from me for a second in order to address school-boy number one and Yumichika-san.**

"You couldn't handle a wild and ripe piece of ass like that unless you tied him down first and even then you probably wouldn't get very far. Seeing as you're too caught up in your own beauty, feather brain (Yumichika-san looked outraged at being called feather brain!)-and you, Pepto queen, would be way more concerned about the perfect setting, lighting and wardrobe that eventually the brat would go limp and fall asleep."

**Electric blue eyes met my brown ones and then raked over the rest of my body. I decided to follow suit and do the same.**

**Hair, a darker blue in color and the texture a bit smoother, less wild in this universe. Sea-green eye shadow in the corners of cat like shaped orbs of his. I always found that his high chiseled cheekbones gave him more character. The sharp lines just suited his face. Seemed he was a bit of a rebel in this universe as well if the white muscle tee, leather jacket and ripped blue jeans were anything to go by. I took a few minutes to admire him as he shamelessly raised his shirt and played with his own abs.**

**Don't give me that look!**

**I don't have to explain myself.**

**Any one with a healthy sex drive would want a piece of Grimmjow.**

"Jeagerjaques, Grantz, Ayasegawa that is enough!"

**When the three 'school boys' made a move to protest Byakuya chucked chalk-board erasers at their heads.**

**It was quite comical. **

"You can sit behind Jiruga. Jiruga raise your hand so Kurosaki-kun here knows where to find you."

"I've got a better idea, why don't you just come sit in my lap Ichi-pet?"

**I blushed crimson.**

**And I know what your thinking but it means nothing.**

**I just—well at least this guy used my first name, well sort of.**

**So okay he had a few flaws.**

**He'd cracked Nel's mask in the most brutal of manners.**

**He slaughtered Grimmjow.**

**Injured Chado.**

**And then got his ass handed to him by Kenpachi.**

**But…well no ones perfect.**

**And it is a hero's job to find the good in every one.**

**I never really had a chance to admire the guys unique features so might as well start now.**

**He was what one would call sexy or hot in the non-traditional sense. His hair was long, silky and partially covering one side of his face. Eyes made me think of tiny pieces of black coal, smoldering in their cool heat. Yeah so I sounded like an idiot—I'm not a freaking poet!**

**He had few lines of scar tissue on the left side of his eye but it gave him edge. And so what if he teeth were slightly larger than normal, figured it meant he had a strong bite. I mean if I were to say offer my neck up to him and—**

**Well any way he still towered over more than half the class even while sitting down and slumped over on his desk. Thin and lanky in all but his chest, which was wide and muscular. He was wearing the standard uniform but his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he left his neck exposed, displaying a pronounced collar bone.**

**I kind of—okay I really wanted to lick it.**

**Speaking of lick—his tongue just—well I may be pretty naïve but it didn't take a genius to know that he surely did some amazing things with that long tongue of his.**

**Guess I was becoming just as dirty minded as all the rest of them were.**

**Perhaps I should bend over and tell Byakuya-sensei to spank me for being a naughty boy?**

**Or perhaps I should just take Nnoitra up on his offer but go one step further and tell him that my ass was officially up for his grabbing and should he wish to do something about it, I would not stop him!**

**Quite the opposite.**

"That's right Ichi-pet, come bring your cute lewd little berry ass over to me."

**Heroes do not sashay. Heroes do not—okay so I was sashaying a bit.**

**And I looked damn good while doing it too.**

**In a completely out of character behavior I pushed the desk back and straddled Nnoitra's lap.**

**And then quite with out warning I was pulled into my inner world.**

**Shirosaki looked like he was going to tear me an additional ass hole.**

"And just what exactly made ya want to become such a shameless whore eh Aibou?"

**Uh-oh seemed I was in trouble**

**()()**

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me King, ya know damn well what ya were doin' just now."

"So."

"So? I didn't bring ya here so ya could act like some cheap wanton s—

"You didn't bring me here at all."

"Don't get smart with me, one wrong step and I could end ya."

**Gold eyes flashing with deadly intent.**

**I yawned. **

"Look if all you're going to do is lecture me, then I'd like to get back to what I was doing."

"Do ya even care bout' ya mission any more?"

"Nah, not really. See I kinda figure the longer I'm here, the more I'll realize its all a dream any way."

"We've been over this, its not a damn dream!"

"Yeah well maybe I just want to have some fun then. Why should I be miserable during my whole damn time on this journey."

"This isn't about being miserable—look aibou, all I'm sayin' is ya can't just go round shakin' ya ass like that."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it's not what ya are supposed ta do."

"You know I'm beginning to think that the real reason you dragged me here is because you were feeling left out, jealous even."

**I realized I was treading on thin ice with Shirosaki but I simply did not care. **

"Why should everyone else get to have fun and not me?"

"No one said ya couldn't flirt a bit King but ya pull another stunt like that one ya pulled in the classroom and I'll lock ya in a damn chastity belt and throw away the key."

**I raised a brow.**

"_Right. _Look until you tell me where the bastard is I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing."

"Surely ya haven't stopped thinkin bout dear old ma have ya?"

"You leave my mother out of this—it has nothing to do—

"Oh I beg ta differ. She does have a lot to do with this. Oh and by the way—just thought I'd let ya know that you never really passed level 2. In fact once ya get ta the final level ya won't be granted access until ya go back and complete the ceremony."

**I didn't like the sound of that. Now I was pissed.**

"Why the hell didn't you mention it sooner?"

**He looked entirely too amused.**

"Cause I had too much fun watching ya strut around with ya boobies and that mini dress."

**What a perv!**

"Don't get so pissy. I'll let ya get back to ya new lovers or whatever, so long as ya promise to get back on track."

"What does that mean?"

"I already told ya. Flirtin' is fine. Anything else is strictly forbidden from here on out. No more ass shakin' coy smiles and no more blushing!"

**How the hell was I supposed to stop blushing? It was all part of the hero package.**

"Oh and another thing-if ya should find ya self in a situation ya don't like, just punch the mattress."

"Mattress? What mattress?"

"Ya will know when it happens. Now go!"

**With a kick that was quite unnecessary I found myself tumbling back through the clouds and back into the classroom.**

**Several of the schoolboys had crowded around me. Knocking, shoving and shouting at each other.**

**A few hung back and watched on with amusement dancing in their eyes.**

"This is all your fault!"

"The hell it is! I didn't even touch him."

"You didn't have to touch him—your creepy pepto hair did enough!"

"You sound fuckin' retarded you know that."

"Shut up all of you. I think he's waking up."

**Uber pretty silver-violets invaded my vision.**

"Kurosaki-kun, are you alright?"

**I blinked stupidly for a few seconds. It was still weird to hear Byakuya call me 'Kurosaki-kun' but also kind of nice to see the genuine concern in his eyes.**

**If age wasn't the issue I'd totally jump into his arms right now. I know what you're thinking the man doesn't really have an age, none of them do but—still in this universe he did and—**

"Can you stand Ichi-pet?"

**Seriously here and now I Kurosaki Ichigo, human turned shinigami turned vizard turned uber hero of the world, would like every one to know that I was beginning to fall in love with the owner of that voice.**

**Nnoitra. The perfect combination of sexy and sweet. If only we had crossed paths sooner then I could have had him turn me into his hollow mate or something.**

**Sighs. Ah well its not like a hero to cry over spilt milk. **

**He was here now. In some sense so I should just enjoy it.**

**Screw what my inner hollow said!**

**I offered Nnoitra a shy smile and fell into uber uke character mode. **

"Yeah but I think I might require some assistance. Could you be so kind as to help me Nnoitra-sama?"

"Nnoitra-sama? What the hell I thought you—I—we shared—I oh fuck it! The hell you're going any where with that guy. YOU'RE MINE!"

**Quite with out warning Grimmjow scooped me up and flew out the classroom window.**

**Not in the literal sense. Technically it was just a very high jump but whatever.**

**Nnoitra was hot on our tails (again neither of us really had a tail but that's not the damn point!)**

**Point is his entire soul was singing for blood and lots of it. I really didn't want him to kill Grimmjow a second time. And so I did what heroes do: I negotiated. **

"Put me down for a sec Grimmjow. I need to say something."

**Reluctantly Grimmjow set me on my feet.**

"Here's the deal: I like both of you. And I know both of you like me. But I also know that both of you hate each other although I really don't understand why—any way that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is this: You two better learn to compromise or I'm going to go back to the classroom and tell Byakuya-sensei to fuck me til I can't stand up."

**Neither of them looked very happy to hear me say that.**

**But in the end I got what I wanted.**

"Fine but I'm not sharing a bed with him."

"Pussy cats belong on the ground anyways."

"Why you—

"My it's hot out here I think I'm wearing way too much. Guess I'll just strip right here and—

"Like hell you are! I'm not gonna let you just show your goods to just anyone."

"Oh you wanna strip do ya? That can be arranged."

**Works like a charm every time. **

**These guys can't get enough of me.**

**(()()())()()()**

**Couldn't have asked for a better universe. I mean I had two of the sexiest former Espada after my sweet berry ass.**

**Yes my ass is sweet. **

**We were on our way to Grimmjow's apartment. Said his roommate was out for the week, not like I would've cared one way or another since we planned to spend most of our time in his bedroom.**

**I was still surprised that Nnoitra had agreed to come here but he said it was either this or an alley. He didn't think it would be very romantic for me to have my first time in an alley, so here we were.**

**Problem was—they couldn't decide who should have me first. **

**Nnoitra argued that it should be him because I already straddled his lap but Grimmjow counter argued that it should be him because we had history together. Major UST.**

**Both made very good points.**

**I felt torn but quickly decided that this was a time for uber fun not uber drama.**

**Besides I totally owed them a strip tease.**

**I'll be honest. There was nothing particularly out standing about my dance. But I achieved the desired reaction what with the way both Nnoitra and Grimmjow were salivating as I revealed inch after inch of flesh.**

**I left on my strawberry cupcake printed briefs remembering the uber lecture from my inner hollow.**

**I wasn't quite sure how to break it to them—I mean I didn't want to come off as a tease but there was—**

"Everything but anal."

**Confident that this would be enough to quench they're thirst and satisfy they're appetites.**

**Sadly for me being a hero—it was never that simple.**

**As if on cue they pounced!**

**Leaving me no choice but to hit them over the head with the nearest weapon (which in this case) had been an alarm clock.**

**Again too bad for me, neither of them seemed fazed by the blow—rather they had become excited.**

**Well of course, hello blood lust, violence, these guys live for that sort of thing.**

**I kind of did too. I'll be honest, half the time I found it difficult to concentrate on defeating my opponent because seeing them all covered in blood really turned me on.**

**Maybe that's why I enjoyed my fight with Kenpachi so much.**

**I grinned at the thought.**

**Kenpachi. Really hoped to run into him in one of these universes. So far I hadn't but—**

**Oh time to stop the inner monologue session for a minute. It was time to run.**

**I back flipped over Grimmjow (damn his back was just as sexy as his front) and jumped over Nnoitra (admiring his ultra hot ass) and jumped out the window.**

**My how convenient that there would be a rope of bed sheets tied together.**

**And now the chase was on…**

**()()()()()()**

**How did this happen again? Oh yeah that's right I'm trying to hang on to my virginity—the very same virginity that I was serving up on a silver platter just moments before Shirosaki pulled out the 'NO ZONE' card on me.**

**Damn him!**

**Still think its because he's jealous, wanted me all to himself. Course he was a far better alternative than Aizen the 'uber villain I'm such a bad ass even with the stupid curl hanging in front of my forehead Sousuke.'**

**Okay so maybe that was a bit harsh since the guy rocked the curl like no other but this isn't the time to be pointing out the goodness in that bastard.**

**After what he did to Rukia.**

**After what he did to my mother.**

**I would return to level two and free my mother from that hideous hollow form!**

**But right now it was time to keep running.**

**()()()()()()**

**Why did I have to go and jinx myself? Did I have some sort of hidden twisted obsession for the bastard? Why couldn't I go three damn minutes with out thinking about him?**

**Any way babbling aside I stopped running. Grimm and Nnoi (aww isn't cute that I shortened their names)**

**More like bastardized but whatever.**

**Wow I say that a lot don't I.**

**Shrugs.**

**There was a very good reason for this.**

**I pinched myself hoping and praying that this was just a figment on my imagination.**

**He did not fade away. Those eyes—must avert gaze because every time I met his gaze well—**

**At least I wasn't alone this time.**

**I had Grimmjow and Nnoitra.**

**Unfortunately they seemed to have been struck speechless.**

**Damn him.**

**How could one man have so much power?**

**How could one man say so much with one smirk?**

**Damn him damn him damn him!**

**Hair ultra shiny and extra coiffed, eyes, deep and dark. He looked even more aristocratic with the fancy suit, snazzy watch and expensive Italian leather shoes.**

**Sitting on his left side a black Doberman. Sitting on his right side a white pit bull. **

**And just like clock work, before I could fully register what was happening Aizen was upon me. **

**I was quite relieved that this time he touched my cheek instead of my chest.**

"I see you've been naughty again by hanging out with bad boys," **his eyes flickered** "You know daddy doesn't like it when you play with others**."**

**Daddy? What the fuck?**

**Don't tell me—**

**I heard Grimmjow curse behind me.**

"Shit!"

**Then he hissed in Nnoitra's direction **

"Thought you said the ole' man was outta town."

"He was."

**A snort. **

"Really then why is he here right now."

"Ne, Ichi-pet what's your old man doin' home so soon?"

"This bastard is not my old man!"

**I was going to punch Aizen this time—really hard—break his perfect nose.**

"Such a temper."

**As I struggled like a helpless uke I so totally wasn't and cursed my existence in uber out of character-ness—the man, the bastard, the main villain, Aizen grew more amused.**

**That pissed me off even more.**

"Gin, Kaname sic em!"

**It so did not surprise me that the bastard gave the dogs the names of his two most loyal servants in this universe.**

**Seriously why did they put up with him?**

**While Grimmjow and Nnoitra took off for the nearest exit, quite against my will (I wasn't enjoying a single minute of this!) Aizen dragged me into the house and up the stairs. **

**It didn't take a genius to find out where this scene was quickly headed but I did not panic because I knew how to get out of this.**

**I crawled on the bed and then gave the mattress a good punch!**

**The mattress changed shape, reminding me of a whirlpool or quick sand—**

**I was drifting a way on a large lily pad and where I would end up only time would tell.**

**()()()()()**

**It was quiet almost too quiet.**

"Welcome to Universe 3 World of Mannequins**."**

"I'm Loly and this is my fraternal twin Menoly."

"From here on out we will be your tour guides."

**How to describe my tour guides? One had short blond hair, green eyes and a dog collar around her neck. The second had black hair, purple-cranberry colored eyes and was revealing way more cleavage then should be appropriate for a girl her age. Both had rainbow-striped wings.**

**I tried to remind myself once again that they weren't really girls but—**

"Here you will find that things are very different from the last two universes you were in."

"One) Everyone here has a role to play. You are the one to chose who does what."

"Two) You are the only living species in this universe, everyone else is under a spell.

"Mannequins. Your mannequins. You created them."

"You're quite talented for a simple human."

"In order to leave this universe. You have to pick two mannequins."

"We personally think you should pick the beautiful ones."

"Wait a minute! Back up. I created?"

"Ask questions later. For now all you need is this."

**Loly handed me a bright pink folder.**

"Inside that folder you will find the list of mannequins you created. From this list you must pick two."

"Don't pick the ugly ones. This universe is depressing enough as it is."

"Ugly ones?"

"No scars. Missing limbs. Extra limbs. Unsightly blemishes. You know the ugly ones."

**No I did not know. Nor did I agree with these comments. None of it made much sense to me.**

"What am I supposed to learn from this? How to be shallow?"

**Menoly rolled her eyes.**

"If you insist on picking the ugly ones at least make sure they have good hair or something."

"At the end of this universe you will receive a package. In this package you will find one of the answers to your questions."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you get it? You're here to—

"Shh! It's too soon to tell him. Look, remember what we said."

"Our time is up now which means."

**Both girls snapped their fingers.**

**I found myself standing inside of some type of museum or something.**

**3 figures were posed behind the glass.**

**All female.**

**The first was barely 5 feet, hair dark in color worn short in the front and long in the back. Her eyes were deep gray, mouth set in a scowl that could rival my own. Dressed in an off the shoulder black dress.**

**It was the violent and grumpy taichou from the 2****nd**** division.**

**Soi something or other.**

**In the middle looking full of life and good will as always stood Inoue. Her light brown hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, the ends had been dyed a bright pink. Dressed in a pale yellow halter dress.**

**The third looking like she was ready to laugh and lecture me at the same time was Rukia. Her silver blues dancing with mirth, her dove toned skin glittering. Raven hair falling in stylish waves around her face. Dressed in a strapless dress.**

**Not ugly.**

**Not that I planned to listen to Loly and Menoly anyway. Hell just to spite them I might just choose the weirdest looking mannequin.**

**Immediately made me think of that freaky scientist from the 12th division.**

**Or maybe I'd find an incredibly plain individual like Iba-san.**

**Not that there was anything wrong with plain mind you I just—**

"Cat got your tongue Ichigo?"

**Huh? Did Mannequin!Rukia just talk? But how could that—**

"Are you going to give us our task or are we going to be stuck in this stupid ass window all day?"

**That was the grumpy one. Weird.**

"What's wrong Kurosaki-sama? You seem a bit confused."

**Inoue. But wait why the hell was she calling me Kurosaki-sama?**

**I heard Rukia giggle.**

"He was up all night playing with Renji."

"Oh I see."

**Did mannequin!Inoue just smirk?**

**I scratched my head.**

"Uh I thought—I mean my tour guides told me that y—

**I heard a snort.**

"He's confused. Big surprise. Step aside Kurosaki."

"Step aside?"

"Kurosaki-sama we wish to leave our display case."

"Uh-

"I guess Renji really DID fuck your brains out huh Ichigo?"

"What?"

**I really didn't understand what the hell was going on any more. **

"It's a spell dummy!"

"A spell?"

**I blinked stupidly.**

"We were all humans once just like you. Kuchiki-san and Soifon-san were your fellow knights and I was your personal handmaiden."

"Wait! What? Knights? Handmaidens? Spells? What I just don't understand."

"You're the Strawberry Knight. You abandoned your right to the throne when you were 13. It was your dream to be something more, so King Urahara and Queen Shiba gave the crown to your twin brother Kon instead."

"And the spell?"

"Pepto Sorcerer Szayel came along and transformed all of us into mannequins. To break the spell you must pick two."

"Er okay what? So you mean to tell me that Universe 3, world of mannequins is really just some backwards fairy tale."

"Somebody give him a cookie."

"I get it your pissed. Tell me where I can find this Pepto maniac and I'll put an end to this."

"It's not that simple."

"What's not that simple?"

"Don't you get it? The whole reason we're in this mess is because you refused his proposal."

"What proposal?"

"To become his bride of course!"

"As in to marry? Have all of you forgotten that that I AM A GUY!"

"Don't be stupid Kurosaki. Of course we know you're male. But gender is not the issue in this universe. You marry whoever, whenever and however."

"Right. So why do I have to choose two."

"Because the Pepto Sorcerer will never give you up and turn us back if you only chose one to love."

**None of this made any damn sense. Love? Wasn't it a little too soon for that. So okay maybe the process of love had occurred a few times but—**

"Fine I choose Kenpachi and Byakuya."

"It's not that simple. You have well—you're not tied down exactly but—

"But what?"

"Well Kurosaki-sama you um well you well you're kind of like a sex maniac in this universe."

"What?"

"Don't act so shocked Kurosaki. Half the time you walk around naked and they pounce. You like sex, They like sex. So you have sex. That's all there is to it."

"Ladies there's no need to lie now."

"Thank you Rukia. Always knew you'd be there to st—

"Ichigo LOVES sex!"

"I do not! I'm not a slut."

"Ah stop getting so defensive. It's perfectly natural. Hell even I've taken your ass for a ride a few times."

"What?"

"With a strap-on of course."

**What the fuck seriously? I hope and pray that she was joking. If she's not I'll never be able to think of Rukia in the same way again.**

"You're wasting time Kurosaki, hurry up and pick already."

"Wait! Just I—

"What?"

"The other mannequins are they behind display cases too?"

"Nope. They're probably roaming about."

"Then why were y—

"Because women need their beauty rest Kurosaki-sama."

"Um right so uh how exactly does the spell work I mean what time is it? Does it have a limit on it or something?"

"It's night time. During the day we're frozen like gargoyles."

"Don't you mean mannequins?"

"Same thing."

"Not really."

"Will you two shut up already? Listen Kurosaki you're a good kid but not too bright. Now if you'll kindly get on with your task the rest of us can get back to what we were doing before this nightmare happened."

"You'll have to forgive her Kurosaki-sama."

"She's just grumpy because she misses her beloved Yoruichi-sama."

**I never imagined the grumpy Soifon could blush like that. I almost felt sympathetic towards her.**

"Rukia don't tease her."

**Rukia just grinned.**

"Hop to it Strawberry Knight, your lover awaits."

**I rolled my eyes and set off for the elevator.**

**()()()_()()()()()**

**I never pegged Renji to be the kind of guy who would take a break up so personally but apparently he was.**

"Was it the oral? I swear I can do better. Just give me time."

"No Renji it wasn't the—look you don't love me."

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't! You just—

"I DO!"

**We were going in circles. I felt awful because I never meant to upset any one but I just—well I never felt much for him beyond friendship.**

**Well except for that one time when he forgot who I was but—that's not the point!**

**The point was.**

**I was picking Kenpachi and Byakuya. And therefore I couldn't be tied down to him or anyone else.**

"Please Ichigo don't d—

"Beat it Abarai! I want some time with the strawberry."

**Ikkaku? Why would he—I mean I always kind figured that he and Yumichika had—not that I would mind sharing but—NO! It didn't matter. I was picking Byakuya and Kenpachi. Yes that's what I was d—**

"You lay even one finger on my pet and I'll rip your balls off with one of my six arms."

**I turned and could not help the uber huge grin that broke out on my face.**

**Nnoitra. Standing there, looking sexier than ever.**

**His release form.**

**Those horns. Looking dangerous and lickable all at the same time.**

"Come pet we have a lot of catching up to do."

**The offer was tempting. Uber tempting.**

**But then I reminded myself that I had a task. A mission. **

**Must find Kenpachi and Byakuya.**

**Still—that didn't stop me from grabbing him by his high collar (NOT AN EASY TASK) and locking tongues with him.**

**I absentmindedly wondered if Grimmjow would show up again since he tended to appear right around the same time that Nnoitra did.**

**I really just wanted to talk to him about things. Don't ask me why but something told me that he might know something about this little journey of mine.**

**I also kinda just wanted him to slam me into buildings and fuck me raw—damn why hadn't I done that while he had been alive? **

**Oh well such was the life of a hero.**

**Besides none of this was real any way. The fact that Nnoitra was currently pinching and fondling all of the sensitive areas on my body felt pretty damn real though—**

**Such a waste!**

**If only I could choose four**

**But no two it was.**

**That's right Kenpachi and Byakuya.**

**I didn't have time to play with Nnoitra or daydream about Grimmjow I had to get to Kenpachi and Byakuya.**

**Rather reluctantly I raised my dull and useless blade and knocked him unconscious.**

**I'd make it up to him should our paths ever cross again.**

I moved to leave only to find a familiar figure blocking my path.

"A little birdie told me you were thinking of me Kurosaki."

**I'd never get enough of those electric blue eyes.**

**But I didn't have time for this.**

"I was but like I told Nnoitra I really need to get—

**He slammed me against one of the display cases. It shook but didn't break.**

**Attacking my mouth, biting and gnawing.**

**Once again displaying his animalistic nature.**

**The fact that he was missing one of his arms didn't make a damn bit of difference to me.**

**I was hot for him.**

**And he knew it!**

**But I couldn't do this—I needed to get away from him and find Kenpachi and Byakuya.**

**I heard a groan. Seemed Nnoitra was waking up.**

**I needed to get out of here now!**

"Grimmjow, let go of me."

**My voice was calm.**

**Rather reluctantly he let go of me.**

**Not paying any attention to the others.**

**Yeah Ikkaku and Renji were still there just watching.**

"Why is it always those two? What the hell do they have that I don't have?"

"It's not about that. Besides according to the girls I'm nothing more than a convenient hole for you guys to plow so—

"Who the fuck said so? I never s—

"Whatever. Look I'm not offended—not really I just—well Kenpachi and Byakuya are good for me. Strong, level headed and never once have either one of them treated me like a woman or sex object. It's only natural that I would choose them."

"How do you know? For all you know those shinigami bastards could be total bastards in this universe."

"Not that I'd normally agree with the fuckin' pussy cat but he's got a point, pet."

**I shook my head. Kenpachi and Byakuya didn't treat people like objects. It wasn't their style. Sure Byakuya could be an uptight bastard at times but the guy lost the first love of his life of course he'd be a cranky ass. And Kenpachi? Well he just had an uber high blood lust—a lot like a superior hollow if you will but he also saved my ass more times than I can count so—**

"I didn't ask for your help, Jiruga."

"Ya seem ta be missin' a limb Jaegerjaques and if ya don't shut your damn mouth I'll rip off your other one while I fuck Ichi-pet at the same time."

"Nnoitra!"

"Shh pet I'm just putting the puss in his place."

"No. No one here is better than the other you hear me?"

"Bit touchy today are ya pet?"

"I'm serious. I don't how any of this happened. I don't really get what's going on but just because I'm forced to pick two doesn't mean I think any less of you guys I just—

"If you're looking for Byakuya you'll find him in the game room, taichou's probably with him."

"Thanks Ikkaku."

"Yeah, yeah next time we cross paths, I'm shoving my cock in that pretty little mouth of yours. Count on it!"

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"The hell you are Ichi-pet is MINE!"

"DREAM THE FUCK ON. KUROSAKI IS MINE!"

"I'm closer to Ichigo then all of yous. I know his family, his favorite color. I'm his damn lover. He's mine!"

**Oh dear now there was sure to be an all out brawl.**

**Blood would spill.**

**Really wish I could stick around and watch.**

**But it was time for me to go.**

())(()()()()()

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish."

"Got any twos?"

**Of all the things I expected. I certainly didn't expect to find Kenpachi and Byakuya playing a child's card game in their pajamas.**

**Kenpachi was wearing a plain white t-shirt and blue and white stripe boxers (I took a few minutes to admire those muscular legs of his.)**

**Byakuya was wearing a silk periwinkle blue colored pajama set. He'd probably have my throat if I told him it out loud but he looked really huggable right now.**

**They didn't seem to notice my arrival or maybe they simply did not care.**

"Are you gonna hover behind that curtain all night Ichigo or are you gonna come out?"

**Ah how I missed that guttural rasp of his. Just screamed power.**

**Byakuya just continued shuffling cards. He didn't seem to care if I stayed one way or another.**

**I stepped into the room.**

"I wanted to talk to you guys about something."

"Whatever it is can wait, right now we are playing a game."

**Byakuya's voice was as cold as ever. I felt like the room had dropped 15 degrees in temperature. I know he didn't hate me or anything he just well—I tended to rub him the wrong way."**

"Sit down. Touch nothing."

**I didn't really appreciate being ordered around but then again—I kind of did. Not that I'd admit it out loud.**

"Listen Byakuya I—

**His eyes were hard, sharp, reminding me of his zanpakuto's release form.**

**I tried again**

"I need you and Kenpachi to—

**Wait! That doesn't sound right even if its technically true I cleared my throat and tried again—although it was rather difficult to concentrate when Kenpachi was rubbing the ball of his foot against my crotch—**

**His eyes still hadn't met mine. He seemed entirely focused on the game.**

**I shifted in my seat and cleared my throat once more. Byakuya was still pining me down with those eyes of his.**

"Spit it our Kurosaki Ichigo. I do not have the patience for some mumbling fumbling failure strawberry prince turned knight who can not keep his hormones in check."

**Byakuya was truly an ass at times. I knew this and yet—there was no way I was changing my mind.**

**I was a hero and I would get what I want!**

"It's not up to you it's up to me. This is my journey. I'm the one to chose who does what."

**A delicate set of vanilla toned fingers touched the hilt of a sword. Byakuya's eyes narrowed to tiny slits, the veins in his neck twitched. **

"Strawberry knight or not, you will never have control over me."

"This isn't about power or dominance Byakuya. This is about my path and like it or not, you are part of my path."

**Byakuya said nothing.**

**A small part of me wished I was dealing with the Byakuya-sensei from the second universe but then again—this Byakuya was closer to the Byakuya back home.**

"Let him sulk for a bit Ichigo, its time for you to back up those rumors and let me fuck that pouty mouth of yours, promise I won't gag you too much."

**At last beady black eyes with specks of green and gold turned to me. Kenpachi continued nuzzling my half erect cock with the ball of his foot. **

"Why did you take so long to come to me Ichigo?"

"Well technically I just got here but—

**I trailed off. He wouldn't understand**

""I thought about you, a lot though."

"Have you?"

**His grin widened and the quite with out warning Kenpachi invaded my personal space, lifting me out of my chair and into his lap. Slipping his hands inside my pants. One hand squeezing my hard-on the other squeezing my ass.**

**There was not a chance in hell I would tell him to stop.**

**Every minute of this was—**

**Byakuya still remained silent. The only sign that he was still even present in the room were the sakura petals hovering in the air, not slicing, just hovering.**

**Figured he was meditating or something.**

**Which was fine and all but I had a mission to complete. And I needed him to agree. Wanted him to agree.**

**Kenpachi was tickling one of my ears with his tongue. After a split second he whispered **

"Let him know what he's missing."

"Sure you'll be okay with that?"

"Not really since I hate sharing what's mine but better him than one of those younger punks."

"Well I'm not leaving you-I mean you're not just going to watch while we—

"Wouldn't dream of it. Now this is what you're going to do. You're going to ride my cock while you suck on Kuchiki's at the same time."

"Er I uh—

**There was no way I could do that. Shirosaki would have my head,**

"Um Kenpachi perhaps we can think of another alternative I mean—

"This isn't a negotiation Ichigo. You are going to ride my cock and love it!"

"You'll split Kurosaki in half if you just rip into to him carelessly."

"Little pain never hurt anyone and besides we're in a magical universe so a simple cure spell and—

"I won't just let you do what ever you please Zaraki." Byakuya stood up "chire senbonzku—

"NO! You stop that right now."

**I flew at Byakuya like a bullet knocking him to the floor.**

"There will be absolutely no killing of any kind going on. As I told Grimm and Nnoitra in the other universe you're going to have to learn to share."

**Both Kenpachi and Byakuya growled at the mention of the other two.**

**I swallowed and tried again.**

"Any way if any one is going to have me. It will be both of you. I don't care how you arrange it, fuck me at the same time, whatever—I just—look I have a mission to complete. But it's kind of hard to complete anything when I keep feeling this constant burning in my loins."

**A grin from Kenpachi.**

"That's quite a mouthful Ichigo."

**A smirk from Byakuya.**

"Indeed. I think it's time I filled that loud mouth."

**Hah! Who's the best hero?**

**Me Me Me.**

**Kurosaki Ichigo.**

**Like I said and will keep saying.**

**These guys can't get enough of me.**

**Here's how the plan would go: Get fucked (not literally, Shirosaki won't allow it) defeat the Pepto Sorcerer (figure I could just flash him or something) and head on up to level four.**

**HELL YEAH!**

**I am the KING**

**Too bad for me I didn't know what the hell I would face next.**

**()()**

**Screw the rules. I'll do what I want. And so I did.**

**And I'll tell you I feel like the world's biggest dork for denying myself for so long.**

**There was no real excruciating pain, slight discomfort yes but pain? No **

**Stretching makes all the difference. And my body was stretched and loosened quite a lot.**

**It started with Byakuya—go figure the man would manipulate the petals from his zanpakuto, making them soft and sensual instead of sharp and deadly,**

**I wasn't really sure how he managed it**

**With Kenpachi's assistance I was flipped on to my side on the table, knocking their 'oh so important card game' to the floor.**

**Forced to raise my ass high in the air.**

**It was a little humiliating but my mouth was full of Kenpachi's cock so it was not like I could protest.**

**My arms had been bound behind me—again with the shinigami techniques.**

**I wondered not for the first time, why in this universe were they able to retain some of their powers.**

**Figured it didn't really matter much—I wanted this, had been wanting this, probably before this "journey" started.**

**But any way that's neither here nor there. Point is I was bound and my mouth was full of prime man meat.**

**There was nothing particularly outstanding about my own technique, if one could even call it that. I was careful and Kenpachi wasn't.**

**Not that I'd expect any less out of him.**

**Right but back to Byakuya.**

**Or rather Byakuya's petals.**

**The feeling was strange at first but naturally it would be—the idea of having foreign objects up my ass was bound to be strange.**

**Didn't help that I was ticklish.**

**Even though I had very little experience it became quite clear to me that the petals were reaching certain areas that fingers probably could never reach—or even if they could it would take a longer time.**

**Almost felt as if the sakura petals were reaching beyond my body and into my soul—it wasn't entirely impossible considering who I am, considering who Byakuya was—**

**He didn't make much sound which annoyed me to no end,**

**When the hell would he learn to let it all out?**

**Shouldn't he be getting some type of pleasure, joy, something out of this experience? **

**What was his deal?**

**Did he think he was too good for me?**

**Bastard!**

**Mouthful after mouthful of cum shot down my throat. At least Kenpachi was showing that there was no place he'd rather be beside here with me.**

**As if sensing my irritation, Byakuya finally decided to do something besides manipulate the petals to play with the inside of my ass—don't get me wrong its not like I didn't enjoy the teasing—it was enjoyable especially when the petals nudged over my prostate but—to have Byakuya's actual hands squeeze my ass?**

**Feeling those delicate, deadly, perfectly shaped, vanilla toned hands on my skin? Gah it was fuckin amazing. Heavenly even.**

**Don't give me that look!**

**Still I wanted more… and Kenpachi was all too happy to oblige.**

**()()()()()()**

**We went about six or seven rounds before I passed out.**

**My ass was sore. And Shirosaki would probably kill me but it had been worth it.**

**And now it was off to the Pepto Sorcerer …**

**()()()()()()()**

**The thing about castles…you never really know when it's the proper time to bring up certain topics.**

**Fearing that you might offend the King or the Sorcerer in this case.**

**You are to sit quietly and depending upon the time of day or night you are to drink wine and or tea and leave nothing left on your breakfast and or dinner plate and then you are required to tell a joke or a story that will amuse both the King (Sorcerer) and his honored guests.**

**You are to remember your manners and show genuine interest in what ever it is the Sorcerer wishes to discuss.**

**You are not permitted to protest or raise a brow when one of the Sorcerer's henchman touches you inappropriately under the table.**

**And when the Sorcerer asks you to join him in the next room you are to rise from the table, push in your seat and follow him.**

**And when the Sorcerer turns to you and asks that your companions stay behind you agree.**

**And when your companions threaten to slice the Sorcerer into ribbons you take the Sorcerer by the hand and run.**

**Knowing that you will be punished later on.**

**But you like punishment.**

**Or rather I do.**

**I'm looking quite forward to being spanked.**

**()()()()()()()**

"I'm a reasonable man Strawberry princess, if you wish to ask me something then by all means go ahead and ask."

**So I did**

**Well it really wasn't a request so much as it was a demand**

"I did my part now do yours. Switch this universe back to normal."

**He puts his hand to his chin and considers my demand for a moment.**

"Very well. I shall meet your lovers and if I like what I see then I will turn everyone and everything back to normal."

**The Pepto Sorcerer rises from the table.**

**I raise a brow wondering what he is planning to do next.**

**A sickening smile in place his amber pink orbs lock onto mine and he says.**

"I can not meet the lovers of the strawberry bride wearing this. I must change into something more presentable. Sit tight and I will be back shortly."

**He disappeared behind a hidden wall and now here I sit waiting.**

**Deciding to make the most of it I stand up and walk around the room.**

**Nothing in particular catches my interest.**

**But there is a certain glow coming from behind the pumpkin colored curtains.**

**Curiosity killed the cat they say.**

**I am not a cat but I am quite curious.**

**()()()()()()**

**It is a mirror. A glowing mirror.**

**It speaks.**

"Are you enjoying yourself my dear _Ryoka boy_?"

**Aizen.**

**Instead of cursing at the mirror with Aizen's voice I decide to ask him a question.**

"Why a fairy tale?"

**The smirk.**

"Why not a fairy tale?"

**I furrow my brows**

"Seriously what can you possibly gain from doing all of this?"

"The question is not what but who."

"Fine then who?"

"Don't you already know?"

**Once again the bastard was toying with me.**

**I glared at him.**

"The answers are in front of your face Kurosaki Ichigo."

**I knew it was pointless to ask and still I did.**

"When can I go back to reality?"

"Reality?"

"Yes you smug bastard, reality."

"Whose to say that your life up until this point is reality? For all you know this could be the true reality and Karakura and Soul Society could be nothing more than a dream."

"Nice try, but that's not gonna work on me."

"I wonder how do you plan to complete level 2."

"That is for me to know and you to find out."

"Oh?"

**Perhaps it was simply my imagination but I could swear the bastard's tone had turned playful**

"I look forward to it."

"And I look forward to cutting you down but hey patience is a virtue or so they say."

**His eyes flickered.**

"Indeed."

"Psst! Carrot-bro who are you talking to?"

**I turned to find the hollow from level one, IIforte something or other. Can't believe I didn't realize it until just now but the guy could pass for the Pepto Sorcerer's brother or something.**

"I'm talking to—

"Never mind. Just hurry up and follow me."

"Follow you where?"

"Ask questions later, just follow me."

**So I followed him.**

**()()()()()()()**

**He led me down a series of corridors. **

**And eventually we stopped in front of well it could best be described as a portal.**

**It was sort of a mist slash liquid thing…difficult to describe.**

**I felt a sense of uneasiness wash over me.**

**I did not wish to enter it**

"Hurry up carrot-bro, the secret passage won't stay open for long."

"Uh secret passage towards what exactly?"

"Level 4 duh! Now hurry up! Quick before my fraternal twin discovers you're missing."

**Once again I felt confused.**

"I thought you were just a simple tour guide."

"Well technically I am but eh what can I say, never cared much for rules anyway. Now hurry up!"

"Wait! But this level is not finished."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does matter."

"No it doesn't. Look stop arguing with me. You already did 2 out of 3 so you passed. Now its time to move on."

"But what will happen to—

"Nothing will happen to your friends. Because none of this is real." 

**I knew this and yet—**

"Don't I at least get to say goodbye or something?"

"Carrot-bro come on you're supposed to be smarter than this, there are no hello and goodbye's in hollow heaven. Because no one but you is really here."

"What? Then—okay what is going on seriously. One minute you tell me—

"Stop asking questions. In every level you picked up something of importance, something that will lead you to your destined path.

And now its time to continue. Forget about all that you've seen and just focus on going forward."

**He was pushing me towards the portal. No matter how much I tried to break away—it was pointless.**

**Inch by inch the portal was sucking me in.**

**Like it or not I was on my way to level 4.**

**His voice called after me**

"Remember what I said—look for the sleeper and the sharp shooter. They'll help you."

**()()**

**Déjà vu. Déjà vu. Déjà vu.**

**Like a mantra it repeated over and over in my head.**

**But it made no sense. I've never met this person before and yet—**

**The wavy hair, the animalistic nose, the light goatee, the gloved hands-I could swear I did in fact know this person.**

**It came to me suddenly, the answer, the reason it felt like I met this person before is because he came to me in a dream-well that's not entirely correct, he didn't come to me exactly it was more like we had just known each other.**

**But how is that even possible?'**

**While I pondered over the dream that might not be a dream at all but some kind of memory left from Shirosaki's life as a human, the long sprawling figure on the grass shifted in his sleep.**

**Okay rewind…**

**So you're probably wondering what happened after IIforte pushed me through the portal.**

**Well…**

**I found myself wandering around a wide open field filled with wild flowers. And in the very center of the field (which seemed to stretch for miles and miles) there was a giant sycamore tree and underneath the tree was this person.**

**Almost like tiny little needles prickling at the front of my skull, telling me that this guy was named—**

"Starrk wake up you lazy idiot! The number one guardian has arrived."

**Up high in the sky, hovering just inches over the tree top was another person. Female. Short and petite in stature, moss green colored hair, an upturned nose, mismatched eyes, one gray, the other pink and she was twirling a gun in each hand.**

**I concluded that these two people were the sharp shooter and the sleeper. Well it was nice to know that I didn't have to go searching for them, seems we had just sort of stumbled upon one another.**

**The sleeper shifted once more but made no move to jump to his feet or crack open an eye.**

**The girl, the sharp shooter, seemed quite irritated with her companion-with out warning she fired two bullets at the tree.**

**When nothing happened I figured that maybe weapons were useless/harmless on this level as well but then…**

**Less than a second later the tree caught fire.**

**Even though I had seen worse, my eyes grew wide and I had begun to fear for the life of this sleeper.**

**Instincts driving me to act before considering what kind of damage I might do to myself, I rushed towards the figure and pulled him away just before a flaming branch fell down on him.**

**I heard a snort and turned, not caring that she was only 4'11 and a female—**

"What the hell were you thin—

"Pretty fast for a simple human."

**It was not the female who had spoken but.**

"Over here."

**I turned.**

**He was behind me.**

"What? But how did you-when did you-

**The shooter snorted once more. **"Maybe next time you should pay closer attention to what you are holding in your hands, number one guardian-kun."

**A sand bag? I was holding a freakin' sand bag in my hands.**

**It took me a minute to catch the rest of her sentence.**

"Kun? You're like what 13?"

"I have over 1,000 years on you BOY!"

**She started jumping up and down, stomping a hole into the wide field with her white boots.**

**I couldn't help myself I started laughing.**

"Nice laugh you got there**," smoky gray eyes swept my form, **"Mind telling us what you're doing here."

"Well first things first, have we met before?"

"Define before."

"You just look familiar some how, Starrk was it?"

"Yes. We are the former primera espada."

"Wait! We? So you both share the same name?"

"No she's Lilinette, I'm Starrk."

"Right. Okay so I'm sorry for interrupting your nap and all but you see I've been sent on this journey and I was told to ask for your help here on level 4-this is level 4 right?"

"More of a pre-level 4. The real level 4 is just beyond that stream down there," he pointed east, "We'll guide you there for a price."

"Price?"

"Well you see we're awfully lonely out here all by ourselves but if you promise to take us back with you when its time to go we won't be lonely anymore."

"I won't take up too much space but Starrk here, well he can either sleep in your bed or in the dog house."

"I don't have a dog."

"Well you do now." 

**I wasn't really sure what to make of this but I figured sure why not. I mean I already made up my mind that once this journey is over I am going to give up on being a human and just live in Soul Society.**

**Or maybe not Soul Society exactly but the outskirts, some place around the area where the Shiba's live.**

**Yeah right around there. I'll set up some type of sanctuary for hollows who wish to repent. It wasn't as if I'd even be able to do such a thing but maybe-just maybe I could somehow convince Aizen (yeah you heard that right!) to raise the deceased espada from the dead.**

**Not all of them just the important ones. Well important to me anyway.**

**I don't know if it would be possible for all of us to live under one roof especially with Grimmjow and Nnoitra constantly at each other's throats but—**

**I glanced at Starrk. Perhaps he could be the peace maker, keep Nnoitra and Grimmjow in line.**

**Nel and Lilinette could watch out for each other and we could become one big dysfunctional family.**

**Wait but what about Kenpachi and Byakuya?**

**And my real family?**

**Well Karin, Yuzu and goat face could come visit and I could drop in Karakura town every now and then.**

**Byakuya probably wouldn't lower himself to living in the same house with a bunch of hollows so I'd probably have to come and live with him at his place half of the time.**

**And Kenpachi well…**

**I had a feeling that he'd probably just throw everyone out of the house and keep me all to himself.**

**Not that it would fly to well with Grimmjow, Nnoitra and Starrk but hey wait! Starrk where did that come from?**

**I mean okay so sure it felt like I had met the guy before. And sure he was undressing me with his eyes and sure it felt all to damn good when he put his gloved hands all over me as he suited me up for battle.**

**But that didn't mean I was excited when he brushed against (what was becoming my permanent hard on) and most definitely did not pant and whine when he played with my sac like ping bong balls.**

**I mentioned before that I'm a bit ticklish didn't I?**

**Well if I didn't now you know. And if I did well I'm giving you a free reminder.**

"Can you stop molesting the number one guardian for one damn minute and focus Starrk!"

**()()()()**

"So once we swim down the stream we're going to climb up to that mountain. 

"And then Starrk and I will take out the possessed souls at the top while you stay back and hide."

**Hide?**

**Surely she couldn't be serious.**

"Hey! I'm the hero. Heroes do not hide!"

"Look we don't make the rules Ichigo, just be a good boy and I promise I'll let you fight when the time is right."

**Did he think it was cute too make such an obvious rhyme?**

**Because it so WAS!**

**Still I felt irritated. This was my journey. I am the hero.**

**I fight my own battles.**

**Whatever was up on that mountain did not scare me**

**()()**

**Humans, hollows and shinigami alike apparently have more than one face. And when the time to pick and choose which "face" to eliminate came I had to be absolutely certain of my decision before I pulled the trigger.**

**I couldn't afford to make a mistake, an error in judgment because if I did I would wind up injuring the sleeper and the sharp shooter.**

**Which would be a very bad thing because as Lilinette explained it…**

"Starrk and I have a limited life line-even more limited because our souls are already sliced in half, if you waver in your decision for too long or if you act to quickly then our life span will shorten even more. And eventually we'll disappear."

A pause

"If we disappear, then you'll be stuck on level 4 forever.

"I'm not going to fail."

**What kind of hero would I be if I failed? Granted I had bad luck sometimes but when it came down to the nitty gritty, I triumphed.**

**The sense of relief in Lilinette's eyes further increased my desire, and will to succeed.**

**While she popped gum in her mouth Starrk continued**

"Now Ichigo keep in mind that none of this is real. It is in your head, it will affect-no it has affected your state of mind and will continue to do so. You must take a moment or two to look back and think about your journey.

Where and how it started, the decisions that you made, everything. Do not let your emotions cloud your judgment. Hollow Heaven is a mind maze, you can be told one thing and it might actually mean something else entirely.

All of the paths and doors you've gone down or through—think about the meaning behind them. Ask yourself why you felt so at ease around certain individuals. Ask yourself what is the purpose of this journey. What did you gain from it? Only then will you be able to fire the gun off."

**When I asked what "gun"?**

**He pointed to my blade.**

"It will change shape and the power to wield it will be absorbed into the bullets-I will give you the signal of when it is your chance to fire."

**While Starrk reloaded his own weapon Lilinette picked up**

"If we should get separated at any point do not panic."

**I felt a little insulted. **

"Heroes don't panic!"

"Even heroes shut down when the unexpected occurs."

**I was growing a bit antsy.**

"If we're going to go can we please just go already?"

()()()()()

**Starrk and Lilinette really were one-in sync in their movements, abilities, everything. It was like watching a shadow of one self. Against the smaller opponents Starrk would shrink to Lilinette's size and against the larger opponents, Lilinette would grow.**

**It was quite a fascinating thing. **

**A mind maze. **

**If that was true than I either had one hell of an imagination or Aizen had unbelievable power-the sheer magnitude.**

**I scowled. I did not want to think about him.**

"We're climbing higher."

"It's too dangerous for the number one guardian to climb all the way up there. He'll fall."

"I will not!"

"Ride on my back."

**Er?**

"Up you go!"

"Don't do anything stupid like drop him Starrk."

"I'll never drop you Ichigo."

**There was so much conviction in his promise that it made my heart flutter.**

**()()()()**

**How does one define an enemy?**

**It is based on their appearance? Their dark aura? Or maybe an enemy can be defined when they are charging at you with a large sharp pointy weapon?**

**Sure Rukia and I had our differences and sure she had been turned against me that one time or was it two (whatever) but…**

**This Rukia was more like a zombie, if such a thing existed that is and maybe it did-didn't really know or care-I was in the process of ducking out of the way of her large golden ax—**

**I felt like once again I had entered a new universe, a lot like a videogame or something.**

**I never cared much for video games.**

"This is all your fault Ichigo. I never would've lost my opportunity to be a fukutaichou if it wasn't for you-its because of you that Ukitake taichou moved on-its because of you that Renji barely looks at me these days-because of you—

"What are you talking about Rukia?"

**Not that I was trying to brag or anything but she wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for me breaking into soul society to crash their little death parade.**

"LIAR!"** she screamed.**

**The flesh on her left hand looked like it hand been stripped off leaving the blood, veins and bones exposed.**

**She raised her ax nearly catching my ear this time.**

**There had to be some way to snap her out of it—**

**()()()**

**Blood splattered my face as a gun shot went off into the air.**

**Zombie!Rukia fell to the ground.**

**I turned to find Starrk wiping his pistol—the same pistol that had just put a bullet in Rukia's chest.**

**I charged at him.**

"That wasn't the way! Possessed or not that, veins exposed or not that was still Rukia. Rukia the only girl/woman to ever catch my complete attention (except my mother) Rukia, the only one I could see myself marrying if fate had been different. If she had been a simple teenager like me living in Karakura Town. Rukia, the one who saved the only family members I had left and now she's—she's gone!"

**And cue the hero scream**

"Ahhhhh!"

"Ichigo, Ichigo get a hold of yourself. Whatever that thing was it wasn't your friend. It was a possessed soul."

"Yes it was. Rukia!"

**I heard a groan from behind me. **

"See that's why I told you to run and hide. I knew something like this would happen if-

"Now is not the time Lilinette."

A sigh. "You're right. We need to keep moving."

"No! I'm not leaving her. Rukia get it together!"

**I shook her zombie like form.**

"Rukia!"

"I really hate to do this."

**My world went black.**

**()()()()**

**A cave. A nice cozy little cave.**

"We'll rest here for now. All of the possessed souls are dead now but we still have a ways to go before we reach level 5."

"How much longer?"

"At least 4 hours but don't worry about it. As I understand it you aren't quite ready to enter level 5 yet so—

"Right. I'm going to get some food. Be back in a bit. Don't do anything foolish."

**Lilinette stood up and left the cave.**

**()()()()**

**Even though I apologized to Starrk for my outburst earlier I still felt that I owed him something more.**

**And okay so maybe some of it was for me as well but—**

**()()()**

**I ignored Shirosaki's scratching at the inside of my head as I stripped down.**

**()()()()**

**There is really no particular skill or talent in jacking off, its just one of those things. It comes as naturally as taking a piss. Still—if seduction was my aim I knew I had to do something to make it sexy and appealing.**

**()()()()**

**I had this theory. I guess you could call it a it that—anyway I was convinced that the ones who were quiet and kept to themselves-that the ones who seemed disinterested-the ones who—well you get the point—**

**Bottom line I'm getting at here is they were the most passionate lovers.**

**And I wasn't disappointed.**

**()()()()**

"A slick hole is a happy hole."

**It was so totally perverted and comical all at the same time.**

**And even though I knew exactly what hole Starrk was talking about I couldn't stop myself from teasing back with**

"And where's your happy hole?"

**A lazy sort of grin softened his coyote like features even more.**

"Why do you ask? It is possible that you a simple ryoka turned shinigami turned vizard have some type of hole fetish?"

"Well I don't know if it could be considered a fetish exactly but you see I have this theory."

**I nibbled and sucked on his chin loving the unique sensation his light goatee left on my tongue.**

**Was it weird?**

**He didn't seem to think so.**

"Oh and what might that be?"

**I moved on to his butter creamed tinted lips—first just brushing over them with my tongue and then finally diving in for a real taste.**

**I was reminded of rich but not overly sweet hot cup of hazelnut coffee.**

**After a few minutes later I pulled away so I could answer with-**

"Holes have special properties."

"What kind of special properties?"

"Healing and um other pleasant and pleasurable things."

**I let out a squeal when Starrk grabbed my firm butt cheeks, pulling me down on top of his slick organ.**

"Pleasurable properties indeed."

**I felt pleasantly full and though I was in the position where I could control the pace, I handed the reigns over to him-which he gladly accepted.**

**()()()()**

**As we near the end of my story I'd like to point out that its true what they say-things aren't always what they seem.**

**You'll see what I mean.**

**()()**

**When Lilinette had finally returned Starrk and I were still quite wrapped up in each other.**

**It took several gunshots being fired off before we pulled apart and followed her out of the cave.**

**()()()()()**

**It had not been a lie. The path to level 5's entry way was barred off by some type of force field.**

**I turned to the sleeper and the sharpshooter.**

"So what are we supposed to do now?"

"Our part is done. We can no longer offer you assistance. Take care of yourself number one guardian."

**As Lilinette said this I began to notice that she was fading away much in the same way my mother had faded away back on level 2. I felt irritated.**

"So that's it? But I thought you wanted me to bring you back to my world."

**Starrk was just inches away from my face.**

"This is your world Ichigo. Just as all other levels have been. But we are just unhealthy distractions in your world."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

**Starrk didn't answer. Only lowered his head before fading away just like Lilinette had.**

**I no longer saw any point in shouting obscenities. No longer saw a point in letting my emotions get the best of me. I simply sat down and waited.**

**I don't know who or what I was waiting for I just knew that I had to wait.**

**I wondered absentmindedly what time it was. Was there even such a thing as time in Hollow Heaven? Why did my thoughts seem to follow some sort of pattern, repeat themselves in one way or another?**

"Psst! Carrot bro."

**Ilfort had returned once more. Why he felt the need to whisper when no one else was around, I honestly don't know.**

**I stood up, grabbing Zangetsu (he was back in blade form) I felt comforted by this. Shirosaki was still knocking at my head but at least the scratching had stopped.**

"Ready?"

**As Ilfort asked me the obvious question I noticed something seemed off about his appearance. I couldn't pinpoint what it was but—**

"Ah."

()()()()()

**A black hole. Well I suppose there were worse ways to return to level 2.**

**It wasn't simple as just jumping or being sucked in. No in order to get back to level 2 I had to go back to level 3-risking the wrath of the Pepto Sorcerer and my admirers.**

**Ilfort hadn't vanished this time but rather he had taken on the form of a small golden goat. In a world that was a lot like a fairy tale I guess it didn't really matter. Using his horns, he managed to drill a hole into one of the floors.**

**I don't think the Sorcerer was too happy about that but I didn't stick around to find out.**

**As for my suitors? Well Somewhere in between chasing after me and threatening to rip each others throats out, they wound up in universe 2.**

**The school boys won which was surprising but I didn't have time to congratulate them.**

**I climbed on top of the school's roof top using a ladder that had appeared out of nowhere and then leapt towards the trees.**

**Figured I was going the right way when I saw Yori's blonde head in the distance.**

**()()()**

**Yori didn't say anything just motioned for me to stay where I was. The fact that I no longer had boobs didn't seem to faze her. She removed one of her cherry red flip flops (weren't they blue before?) and told me to turn.**

**Then quite with out warning she slapped me all the way up towards the clouds and I guess somewhere in there was the hidden door.**

**()()()()**

**Wasting no time to open it I found myself back in the bathroom. I looked around ignoring Toshi who was still snoring in the next room.**

**I was looking for some new secret passage that would lead me to level 2 and was drawn to the mirror.**

**Goat!Ilfort was chewing on toiler paper when a delicate hand reached out through the mirror and grabbed me.**

**()()()()()()**

**It was not Cirucci as I had expected it was…**

"**Oh Kurosaki-kun thank god! We were afraid something happened to you."**

**Inoue. Inoue dressed all in white. The flower clips in her hair had been replaced with some type of crown and she was patting her belly which had suddenly become the size of a watermelon.**

**I had no idea what was going on. The bump couldn't mean what I thought it meant could it?  
**

**The door opened just then.**

**Certain that it would be Cirucci this time I jumped to my feet, fully planning to demand what happened.**

**But it wasn't Cirucci.**

"Woman. Have you discussed the contract with Kurosaki Ichigo?"

**Ulquoirra. Looking pale and expressionless as ever. Sounding as monotone as ever.**

**I wondered why I hadn't seen or thought of him throughout this journey.**

**After all part of this journey was his fault.**

**If he hadn't captured Inoue and threatened to kill her then I wouldn't have had to come and rescue her. And if he wasn't one of Aizen's followers I wouldn't have had to kill him.**

**Yes despite what I told the shinigami, I did feel some sort of guilt when I spilled hollow blood. And Ulquoirra, although a major pain in the ass, hadn't been all that bad in the end. I think in those last few minutes a little part of his human soul had returned. Just a smidge mind you but an important smidge.**

**The look on his face-well it was pretty clear that he still didn't think much of me but I noticed something. There was a tiny hint of wonder in his unwavering unblinking bottle green gaze.**

**He reached into his pocket and unrolled a scroll of parchment.**

"While in the company of Aizen-sama you will keep your head bowed at all times. You will not speak unless you are spoken to. You will not protest or object to anything. The ceremony will be completed without interruptions. You will be bonded to Aizen-sama. And you will carry his child just as this woman, Inoue Orihime, now carries mine."

**Well that was a mouthful. Seriously though if he thought I was going to just come quietly and be a good little berry bride, he had another thing coming.**

**I pulled my zanpakuto from it's sheathe, rushed past him and Inoue and out the door.**

**The time had come. Aizen was going to die!**

**()()()()**

**Sitting on a throne big enough to rival his over inflated ego was Aizen.**

**And in a smaller, finely carved throne sat my mother.**

**I noticed that in addition to the hollow bone like boa around her neck, she had two more bones bounding her wrists together. And still she did not appear to be in any pain.**

**This should be simple. There should be nothing to it. I simply had to charge toward Aizen and end it all.**

**But I found I could not raise my blade. I did not wish for my mother to see the killer that I had become.**

**I suppose I could grab her and hide her somewhere safe. Then go back and finish Aizen off.**

**But then in dawned on me. My blade was useless.**

**The only reason it had worked on level 4 was because Lilinette and Starrk had the ability to pass some of their reiatsu into my own. It's complicated and I still don't fully understand everything.**

**Point is if I wanted to get rid of Aizen I had to find a different way.**

**I considered my options. I could play along and agree to be his bottom bitch or whatever and then once I got him distracted I could—**

"Come forth Kurosaki Ichigo, we have much to discuss."

**I looked towards my mothers' direction, hoping for a little extra boost only to discover that she was no longer there.**

**The room was deserted.**

**Just Aizen and myself.**

**In a room with a single white throne.**

**And it all comes back to that doesn't it?**

**The self proclaimed over lord and the hero who never really asked to be a hero but somewhere along the way embraced it.**

**I opened my mouth to speak but he silenced me.**

**Fingers on my lips. That is what it felt like. Even though Aizen hadn't moved from his place on the throne. There was no doubt in my mind that it was his fingers touching my lips.**

**I could call the man a bastard a million times over. I could curse his existence and wish that he'd rot in hell or whatever the equivalent of hell was for a shinigami.**

**Yes I could say and wish all of these things and once I was back in reality, back in the war I could cut him down!**

**Do what no one else had been able to do because Aizen Sousuke was a Grade A villain and his time was up.**

**A Grade A villain with a mind blowing amount of power.**

**As his fingers continued to brush my lips I felt my brain becoming sort of foggy.**

**One could say I had fallen under his hypnosis.**

**()()()()**

**I did not protest the fingers that sought to open my mouth. I welcomed them, licking each and every digit like it was the sweetest candy.**

**Slicking his fingers with my saliva made me feel warm all over.**

**How was he capable of doing that?**

**He still hadn't moved from his place on the throne. And yet it felt like he was all around me. Breath on my Neck. Hard member rubbing against my own.**

**Also didn't make any sense because I was still fully clothed.**

**His hand had moved out of my mouth and he was now trailing the wet digits along my face, mapping out every angle and curve.**

**()()()()()**

**I shivered. It felt like a breeze had just gone up my back side. **

**I was breathing heavily. It was almost too much.**

**The sensations.**

**I tried to tell myself that it was all in my head.**

**But the sensations, the incredible sensations-there was something familiar about it.**

**Aizen hadn't missed the look that crossed my face.**

"It's all starting to become clear isn't it my dear _Ryoka?"_

**His voice was a hypnotizing smooth baritone. I shook my head and tried to ignore how unbelievably constricting my clothing suddenly felt.**

**The itch. The all too familiar itch-it had returned 10 times stronger.**

**His hand was at my chest-my beating heart sounded louder than ever.**

"Yes you know that it was me all along. Only me."

**His mouth was at my ear.**

"Know that you can not escape what I have planned since the very beginning."

**I shook my head again and again, willing it to stop, for him to stop. For it to all end.**

**At last Aizen moved off the throne and was upon me.**

"Don't shut your eyes to the truth. This is your journey. This is your reality, Kurosaki Ichigo."

**I didn't want to hear it. Willed myself shut his voice out. Tried to break free from him but his hold was much too strong.**

**Not just my body and mind-but my heart-I could feel it-he was pulling it so tightly.**

**The pain was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.**

**His mouth was at my ear once more **"You were beautiful as you opened more and more of yourself up to me each time."

"No you're lying it wasn't. That wasn't—

"It was. You know it was. You saw what you wanted to see. It made things easier. Made you feel less guilty."

"You're a real bastard."

"No I'm a god. A god who made you who and what you are."

**The self righteous prick actually had the audacity to say such a thing.**

**I don't care what it would take I would kill him!**

**He had tricked me. Aizen had tricked me into believing-I felt sick to my stomach.**

**All those connections, all those thoughts, those developing feelings he had placed those in my mind. Telling me that-NO! I refused to believe, not even an insane genius could be capable of all this.**

"Will it ease your mind if I promise to take away the memories? Will it make you feel better believing that your enemies are your enemies and your friends are your friends? No blurred lines. Would you be able to finally put the past behind you if I erased all traces of your dead mother?

A pause

"Or would you prefer to live out your days here in Hollow Heaven believing that hollows are good and kind and actually capable of human emotions? Wishing to live a happily ever after with my dear Espada are you?

Of course Grimmjow was expected and Starrk has the kind of beauty that very few could resist but Nnoitra? Now that one was quite unexpected. Nevertheless if it is their images you wish to see for the rest of eternity then I can arrange that. But keep it mind that it will never truly be them, it will be me. But that is not really the issue here is it?

Oh no it was never about happily ever after. If that was what you wanted then you could have simply settled down with Inoue Orihime.

No you're not looking for a happily ever after. You're looking for peace. Peace with two very different shinigami. Zaraki and Kuchiki-no real surprise there either"

"Shut up!"

**I couldn't stand to listen to any more of this. Sure okay Aizen might have created Grimmjow, Starrk and Nnoitra but he damn sure did not create Kenpachi or Byakuya.**

**I glared at him.**

"I pity you Aizen and do you know why I pity you?"

"You don't pity me my dear sweet Ryoka, you admire me."

"You're delusional. You bring me to this Hollow Heaven place in the hopes of what? Painting yourself in a better picture? Get it through your thick over inflated head I'm not joining you. I'm not turning my back on my friends and although I don't agree with everything Soul Society does I'm not going to aide you in destroying it."

"Soul Society is of no importance to me Kurosaki Ichigo. I am above Soul Society. I am above everything that you have ever known. And if I want you just as I have always wanted you, then I will have you."

**Aizen did not bluff. Aizen did not lie. He said he would do something and he did it.**

**()()()()**

**This isn't a typical story. **

**Aizen didn't throw me to the ground and plow into me. He didn't bend me over that infamous throne and rip me in half. Didn't carry me back to his private chambers, tie me up and torture me for hours on end.**

**()()()()()**

**So you're probably asking yourselves how did I get to level 5? What did it take in order to gain entry?**

**Cum.**

**Yes cum.**

**My cum mixed together with Aizen's own.**

**I stood on shaky legs ignoring the fluid still dripping down my thighs and pressed cum covered lips and fingers to the door.**

**Aizen hadn't left. He was still behind me, barely giving me room to move.**

**It was part of our agreement.**

**Ah the agreement. Bit complicated.**

**Let's just say there would always be a catch.**

**()()()()()()**

**The beginning is the end and the end is the beginning.**

**Confused?**

**I was too until Sousuke-sensei explained**

"You've been in a coma for the past 10 years, we had just about given up hope when your long lost twin brother reappeared on the scene.

He explained that the two of you always had a unique connection since birth. And even being separated from each other for all those years, the bond did not break.

It was his idea to place you under hypnosis even while you were still in a coma. It was a very tricky and complicated not to mention risqué procedure but as all of your family members and friends have reminded me, you are strong."

**As you can imagine I was more than a little confused.**

"Do you mean to tell me that out of the past 15 years of my life I spent 10 of them in this bed?" 

"Don't get so angry Aibou, you were in good hands."

"Good hands? I was clearly not in good hands if I—

**I couldn't even finish my outburst I didn't want to—**

"Ichi-nii are you in a lot of pain right now?"

**I blinked**

"Pain?"

"You suffered a severe blow not only to your head but your entire body Ichi-nii. Kaa-chan was so worried, at first she thought you were dead."

"K-Kaa-san?"

"Of course. She was the one who rescued you after you fell off that cliff in Hollow Canyon."

"Hollow Canon?"

"You mean you don't remember any of it Ichi-nii?"

**What was I supposed to say to that?**

**When I saw tears springing form the corners of both Yuzu and Karin's eyes I just wanted to run and grab them. Pull them into a hug and tell them everything would be okay.**

**But it was quite impossible to move what with being buried by overstuffed plushies.**

**The door swung open. Several people piled into the room talking all at once.**

**Asking me what it was like, if I was hungry, sore or tiered**

**But I didn't care about any of that. I only cared about one person.**

**Those eyes. That gentle smile. She had returned to me. For real this time.**

"_**Kaa-san."**_

**When she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around me I let the tears flow freely. I didn't care how unmanly it made me look. Because she was here. Everything about her was exactly how I remembered it-the way she smelled, the way she held me-everything.**

**I didn't want to think about how I got here or what really happened. Didn't want to question reality. Didn't want to think there was something wrong with this picture.**

**I had my friends and my family.**

**I didn't need anything else,**

**Sousuke-sensei was still in the room and I couldn't explain it if someone asked but for some reason I felt like I should thank him.**

**As my long never ending dream began to fade away more and more and I realized that it had all been in my head-I knew it was because of him.**

**He cured me. With Shirosaki's assist.**

**I had to thank him properly.**

**Right when I was about to pull away from my mother and ask everyone to leave the room-something happened.**

**Thunder rumbled and lightning crashed.**

**And then everything went black**

**()()()()()**

**Some one was shaking me.**

"Ichi? Ichi? Wake up!"

**Slowly I opened my eyes to find a familiar face frowning down at me.**

**His powder white hair was wet, his golden eyes brighter, his skin a shade darker, the slightest hint of peach. He was wearing a royal purple colored bathrobe.**

"Shiros-

**His lips were upon mine, silencing me. I should've been weirded out or something but I wasn't. It felt pretty natural.**

**After a few minutes he pulled away.**

"Listen sorry bout earlier, if Valentine's Day is that important to ya then we'll celebrate it."

"Valentine's Day?"

"Anyway the brat is cryin' again and I've tried everythin' but I can't get lil' Sou-chan to fall back to sleep."

"Sou-chan?"

"What's the matter Ichi? I know you're usually kind of out of it whenever you wake up from a deep sleep but surely ya haven't forgotten about our son."

"Our son?"

**Shirosaki-no Shiro rolled his eyes. "**Wait here. I'll be right back."

**Okay so apparently I was romantically involved with my inner hollow.**

**Only he wasn't my inner hollow. He was simply Shiro and he had one hell of an ass.**

**()()()()()**

**A new born baby should not have the kind of eyes that speak of centuries and centuries of knowledge. A new born baby should not know how to smirk. A new born baby should not be able to open its mouth and say**

"And now I have you right where I want you."

**()()()()()()**

**Aizen Sousuke aka the evil self proclaimed over lord genius villain with over coiffed hair, smooth baritone and unmatched power had taken me on a journey that would bound me to him forever and beyond.**

**And I, Kurosaki Ichigo, simple Ryoka turned shinigami turned vizard turned hero with bright orange hair, trademark scowl and the best uke-licious ass in the universe, had let him to do it.**

**And why?**

**Because with out a hero there is no villain and without a villain there is no hero.**

**THE END**

_Author's Note: When I originally came up with Hollow Heaven it was nothing like this at all. It was supposed to be a simple, some what cliché one-shot in which Ichigo is forced to become Aizen's bride. But then chapter 388 of BLEACH came out and things changed. Before I knew it this fic became random crack AU/Canon combo fic that was poking fun at the whole bad vs good. Hero vs Villain. The BL goodness was just a bonus. It was an interesting project and I enjoyed playing with Ichigo's character. If I could go back and do it all again, I would. And maybe add a few extra yummy bits in it._


	6. GRAPEVINE

**SHOT #6**

**Disclaimer: Why thank you Aizen-sama yes I would like another cup of tea. No I do not own BLEACH!**

**B-day gift at fic the request of BonneNuit.**__

_**(KenIchi, NnoiIchi) (sprinkle hints and tidbits of OthersIchi)**_

**AU, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, plot holes, OOC-ness, etc. If you read my other projects then you should know what to expect by now.**

_**GrApeVINE**_

"_Heard it through the Grapevine that you're the Triple Faced Tangerine."_

_()()() Prologue ()()()_

"_And the words that shall come out of his mouth will anger the one kneeling before him."_

"_What is it Genryusai-sensei?"_

"_He shall rise up from the sea and walk upon the pure white sand. And they shall call him the t-_

"_Must you always speak to me as though you are reciting some sort of quote from a text book? Tell me what is the fate of my unborn son?"_

_Shiba-Kurosaki-Masaki, second daughter of the honored '__Crimson Quick fire'__ was not a hysterical woman. She was level headed and easy going-she made calm well thought out decisions not rash and spur of the moment ones._

_But she wished the stubborn old man would stop talking in riddles and just come out and tell her what she so desperately longed to hear._

"_The child will be wanted, desired by many."_

"_My child? But why?"_

"_And in her womb she carries the Tangerine child and they shall call him I-."_

'_**Tangerine? No it's not possible. There was no way that could-'**_

_Honeycomb eyes grew hard. "You are lying."_

"_And the mother's eyes shall blaze crimson like that of her ancestors as she shouts "Lies, lies."_

"_You are lying! Tangerine child? That is impossible-no it's ridiculous! Everyone on Isshin's side has black hair and every one on my side has blond or black hair-there is no way he-_

"_Do not worry so much Masaki. You should be proud, the Tangerine child will-_

"_He is my flesh and blood. I don't care what you say or what the higher powers say he is not some-_

"_His name shall be Ichigo and he will be one of the 5 guardians. "_

"_He will not be some guardian to your silly little ancient shrine or whatever. He will live a normal life an-_

"_Masaski!"_

_The power in Genryusai-sensei's voice still made her shiver like a young girl who was being scolded for touching the pretty golden orb kept behind glass._

"_You need to listen to me child, if you do not leave the Tangerine child with in the g-_

"_He will not die!"_

"_I did not say he will die but it will be very difficult for him to live normally-much of his life will be spent in solitude."_

"_The hell it will!"_

"_Masaki I do not tell you this to upset you. I am telling you-_

"_NO! I won't listen to it. I am bound to the gates of Zan, this I know but Ichigo will not be some prisoner. He will live long and free."_

"_You poor child."_

"_Don't patronize me old man!"_

"_I am not patron-_

"_I've had enough of this. I shall return here again but my new born son will not be with me."_

"_You know the price that comes with going against the law Masaki."_

"_Then so shall it be. If taking my own life means saving my son's then I will do it."_

"_And what of Isshin?"_

"_He will understand."_

"_Fool! The Tangerine child will not survive in the outside world and even if he does he will never truly feel complete until he is-_

"_Enough! Genryusai-sensei when I came here tonight I was hoping that you would greet me with a smile and tell me how very honored you would be to be his godfather but I can see now that it was a foolish dream and-_

"_Masaki please do not turn me into the enemy here. I am only asking you to reconsider you-_

"_There is nothing to reconsider."_

"_You will be underneath the soil in 6 years time and the Tangerine child will be alone."_

"_Ichigo will never be alone. Isshin will see to it that my son has the very best of the best."_

"_There will come a day, the 4 guardians will come for your son."_

"_Let them come. Let them all come. I will rise up from the ashes and spill the blood of all who wish to bring harm upon my son."_

"_I can not stop you Masaki but I can not help you either."_

"_I am not asking for your help Genryusai-sensei, Shun and Juu need you more than I do."_

"_Those two idiots," the old man showed the first true sign of amusement "I almost pity their future brides."_

_Masaki let a small smile come across her lips. "Assuming they get that far."_

_()()()_

_In the early years Masaki and Isshin kept their son locked away from the outside world as much as humanely possible._

_They lived in a 3-story house that was separated from the rest of Karakura Town. And on the rare occasion when they took Ichigo outside, he was covered from head to toe in many layers of clothing._

_He wasn't allowed to play or interact with children his own age and the only adults who were allowed to see him were close family members-mainly Masaki's half brother, Kaien._

_He pulled her to the side one day and said_

"_Masaki you can't keep that boy locked away from the rest of society, what you are doing to him is no better than if he were to live inside the gates of Zan."_

_Masaki knew Kaien was right and so she did the only thing a woman in her position could do._

_Two weeks before Ichigo turned 6, Masaki walked out the door of her cozy little home and returned to the gates of Zan-_

_Split seconds before the sea swallowed her whole she breathed a sigh of relief-she could finally rest, knowing that her Ichigo would turn out just fine._

_()()()_

"_Your mother was an amazing woman. One of the most beautiful and strongest I've ever known."_

"_What happened to her?"_

"_She drowned, son."_

"_Drowned? _

"_Yes but you'll see her again one day."_

_Big cinnamon and coffee colored eyes looked at his father in awe. "Really?"_

"_Mm hmm, the bond between a mother and child outlasts even death."_

_()()()_

"_I wanna learn to fight!"_

_Kurosaki Isshin practically choked on his cup of coffee when these words came out of his 8-year-old son's mouth._

"_Fight? Why would you want to do something like that? Fighting is boring." Isshin laughed stupidly, further exaggerating his normal persona as the idiot father. _

"_No it's not. Uncle Kaien fights and he said its one of the best things a guy can do and I'm a guy."_

_Isshin ruffled his son's unruly tangerine locks and smiled on the outside while he burned with rage on the inside._

'_**Damn that idiot, putting those ideas in Ichigo's head, knowing full well what will happen if-**_

"_Something wrong?"_

_That was another thing about Ichigo. Some how some way his son could see through his façade._

_Isshin let out a sigh. __**'I knew this day would eventually come but-."**_

"_I wanna fight! Can I can I?"_

_He could never say no. He promised Masaki that he would never deny their son anything._

"_Yes alright you can learn to fight."_

"_YAY!"_

"_But I'm going to train you."_

"_You?"_

"_Hey I'll have you know your old man was a god of the dojo back in the day."_

_Ichigo laughed. "Yeah right, you're just goat face not god face."_

_()()()_

_So he agreed and showed the tangerine boy his preferred fighting method, which consisted of quick and sharp jabs, power punches and flying kicks-with a splash or two of the elegant leaps and graceful counter blocks that he had seen his lovely late wife perform a time or two._

_Ichigo was a fast learner and by the time the tangerine boy reached his 13__th__ year he mastered both of his parents moves._

_Kaien appeared again and told Isshin point blank. "Ichigo has surpassed you, bring him to my dojo so he can learn to perfect and harness his abilities."_

_Isshin didn't like to be told what to do but Kaien's eyes, although a completely different color and shape from Masaki's sparkled with that same intensity and finality._

_And so he agreed but not with out altering his son's appearance._

_()()()_

_**KON**_

_First was the hair it would have to be bleached blond and because Ichigo's eyes were about as rare as his tangerine locks, the boy would have to wear contacts, a deep brown almost black color._

_And of course he couldn't enroll his son in the dojo as 'Ichigo' so instead he would call him-_

"_From this moment on you are known as Kon, simple and manly sounding at the same time."_

_()()()_

_And so over the next 2 years "Kon" developed quite a name for himself, dubbed the Karakura Riser, ladies magnet by day and Sunshine fighter by night._

"_Daddy is so proud of you, by the time I was your age I had fangirls lining up at my front door too."_

"_A 15 year old Ichigo snorted. "Right sure, anyway if Nel or Tatsuki come round tell them I'll be up in the attic."_

"_The attic? Again but there's an entire recreation room I built and Ichi-(SLAM) go."_

_()()()_

_Nel looked over her magazine and up at the bleached boy, her big hazel eyes shining. "I think you should grow your hair out Kon, then that way you'll look even more like a lion." _

"_I disagree I think he should shave it all off, the bald look is really in right now." Tatsuki commented from her spot on the carpeted floor. The black haired girl was flipping through a magazine featuring some of Karakura's top fighters._

"_Why would he want to do something like that? His hair is so soft and silky and hey Kon let's play make over."_

_Sometimes Ichigo had to wonder how a 15-year-old girl like Nel could act so incredibly childish but then he remembered that she'd been dropped on her head more than once and-_

"_Hey check it out, there having a tournament at the end of the month over at that old building where Vizard Fashions used to be. Winner gets a 500-dollar shopping spree to H-_

"_Put that crap away Tatsuki."_

"_What the hell are you so sour about?"_

"_Yeah Kon you only eat, sleep and breathe fighting."_

"_I just-_

"_What?"_

"_Nothing look let's just practice."_

_Tatsuki smirked. "Sure you wanna eat the rug once again Sunshine?"_

_Ichigo stood up and crouched down into a fighting stance. "The last time was a draw but this time I'm going to win for sure!"_

"_Yay!" Nel jumped up and started doing cartwheels "I get to be referee."_

_()()()_

_**SHIRO**_

_When Ichigo's voice dropped, so too was the Kon persona dropped._

_He couldn't bear to risk facing Nel and Tatsuki and admitting that he had lied to them for several years so he actually let out a relieved sigh when goat face repacked all his bags one day and announced that they were moving._

"_You're going to love Seireitei Ichigo. I spent all of my spring breaks there. They have the best-_

_Ichigo tuned out whatever else Isshin was saying and instead concentrated on writing in his journal._

_It was a hobby he picked up recently, nothing special, he would just write down his thoughts and things. He scratched his bleached head and frowned. He was really sick and tiered of having blond hair._

"_Hey old man?"_

"_Yes Ichigo my number one greatest son, what can daddy dearest do for you?"_

"_When we get to Seireitei I can finally be myself right?"_

_Isshin considered the question for a minute. Ichigo would be 17 soon but-_

"_No. In Seireitei you shall be known as Shiro."_

_And with these words Ichigo's second persona was created,_

_Bleaching his hair and brows even lighter-giving off a powder white color._

_Trading in his brown-black contacts for gold._

_()()()_

"_I've hired a vocal coach. If you're going to be Shiro, you're going to have to learn how to change your voice range."_

_It all seemed really extreme not to mention dumb but it was pointless to try and argue with goat face._

_()()()_

"_Boxing lessons?"_

"_You heard me. I want to box since you won't let me join the swim team I need to find some way to burn off all the calories after consuming all these damn muffins you insist on feeding me every day."_

"_But Ichigo, my son, my sh-_

"_Save it old man. If money is an issue-_

"_Money isn't the issue."_

"_Then I'll get an after school job."_

"_I just told you money isn't an issue."_

"_Then you'll let me box."_

"_Well I don't like it but-_

"_But what?"_

"_Look let me just make a few phone calls first and then-_

"_Do it in the morning. I'm going to bed."_

_()()()_

_And just like every other year previous, Isshin gave in and let his son do as he pleased-well for the most part._

_()()()_

"_Dude Shiro, who the fuck is that creepy old guy that keeps coming to all of your matches? Is he like some kind of gay molester or something?"_

_Ichigo had no idea what Keigo was talking about. Nor did he care to know-well not really anyway-_

_He did however shove his fist right in his moronic father's face when the match was over._

_The fact the left side of Ichigo's face was still numb after his heated battle with 'the reaper' didn't even really matter._

_Watching blood gush from goat face's mouth was oddly satisfying._

_Ichigo let out a cackle that was fitting to his 'Shiro' persona._

_()()()_

_Birthday. It was one day out of the whole year when he could just be himself._

"_Shiro where you at man, we got chicks and booze."_

_Or not!_

_()()()_

_Ichigo did not care about how Keigo had managed to swipe alcohol from his older sister's liquor cabinet-he did not care about how many girls the brown-haired male had brought to his birthday party. Nor did he care to know what color panties Cirucci was wearing underneath her too short to truly be considered a mini skirt._

_He just wished to escape out the back door and out into garden-a favored spot of his late mother's according to many of his father's stories._

_But instead he was stuck in some stupid fuckin' circle with half naked and drunk teenagers and-_

"_Any one wanna join me for a smoke? Gettin' too crowded in here."_

_Gold eyes blinked. 'Hmm what was 'the reaper' doing at his birthday party of all things."_

_Ichigo played with his pierced brow for a few minutes as he considered joining one of his boxing rivals-_

'_**Well I'm not really Ichigo right now, I'm Shiro so**__-_

"_Race ya to the roof top!"_

_With a mad cackle all too fitting to his powdered persona, Ichigo jumped to his feet and headed for the door-_

_()()()_

_He had faced 'the reaper' in the ring at least 6 times and yet he still never caught the guy's real name._

Ichigo leaned against the ladder of the fire escape and looked out into the pitch-black night sky.

After a minute he broke the silence as he turned to his rival, "So ya got a real name underneath all that reaping persona?"

Pale iridescent eyes swept his form.

Ichigo shivered and pulled his hoodie more tightly around his body.

This wasn't the first time 'the reaper' looked at him in this manner.

Looking like he wanted to skin the flesh right from his body-

'_**But since I'm Shiro and not Ichigo I can't let him see that I'm a bit intimidated right now.'**_

"Whose asking?" A grin "I know your name ain't really Shiro, checked your ID but don't worry I won't say anything."

"Wait you checked my ID then you should already-

"You returned before I could decode it-

Ichigo let out a sigh of relief.

Whether it was because his true identity still remained a secret or because he could finally be himself he didn't know.

But he studied the figure with pale iridescent eyes before him. The reaper was tall with skin like the red dessert blending with a mocha milk shake, black hair highlighted with bright reds, reminding Ichigo of the autumn leaves when they first start changing colors, body like that of-

'_**Wait a minute where the h-**_

Ichigo shook his head.

"No name then, too bad."

"I have a name," a devilish grin "Cept not givin' it out until you give me something in return _Sunshine."_

Ichigo's eyes shot wide open.

The reapers grin widened.

"It is you, wait til Nel and others hear about this."

'_**Fuck! Goat face is gonna kill me.'**_

()()()

"Please you can't tell anyone, you can't I-l well what is it you want from me exactly?"

"Hmm that is a very good question what do I want from you?" the reaper advanced on Ichigo backing him up into the ladder leading towards the fire escape. "To be your first."

Brows furrowed in confusion "My first what?"

"Oi Shiroooooo what are you doing up there?"

"Yeah come on Shiro, the fireworks are about to start."

()()()

"Hey get me number 3."

"Yeah, thanks."

"_**Hello?"**_

"It's me."

"_**Did you find him?"**_

"Yeah I did and you'll never believe what else I found out."

"_**What else is there?"**_

"He's one of them."

_The sound of heavy breathing. Was someone tapping into the phone lines?_

"_**Kon? No way Kon is one of the guar(CLICK) **_

Kazeshini wiped the summer sweat clinging to his brow. "That was too close. Perhaps I should think before contacting her again."

()()()

(ICHIGO)

No less than 24 hours after the incident on the roof goat face was packing their bags and announced that once again they were relocating to a new place.

"We're heading to BANKAI SPRINGS for some R and R and then when fall rolls around you're heading off to college under the guise of Higo!"

_()()()_

Bankai Springs wasn't really a springs at all-rather it was a large fancy hotel resort filled with retired golf players and their wives.

Honestly Ichigo had no idea why goat face had chosen such a place for a hideout-there was not a single young person around other than himself and the hotel managers' son, Kira Izuru.

There was nothing wrong with Izuru per se-the guy was nice and all it was just-

"Higo-kun would it be too much trouble to put your things away? I realize you are on vacation but you are not a child so I don't see why you should hav-

"I'll get it later, there's no rush," Ichigo responded lazily as he continued to sit on one of the couches in the hotel's lobby. He rubbed the bridge of his nose before pushing the glasses back up onto his face.

Goat face had taken it one step further this time. He didn't just change his hair color-no that wasn't nearly enough-Higo had to wear glasses (they were cute but totally pointless since Ichigo had perfect vision) and scarves, long colorful scarves. His role was the stuffy spoiled rich brat.

"I beg to differ, there is a rush and could you kindly pay attention to me when I am speaking to you?"

"Stop being such a nag Kira, we're practically the same age cool your jets."

The male with pale blond hair crossed his arms and glared at Ichigo. "I am not a nag."

Ichigo snorted. "Do you even hear yourself right now? I mean why aren't you off with your girlfriend on a date or something?"

"Why aren't _you_?"

There were several ways Ichigo could answer this but he couldn't risk blowing his cover so he simply shrugged and said, "None of them interest me at the moment."

Kira raised a thin blond brow. It was pretty obvious that it was natural since the guy's lashes were also the same shade of blond.

Ichigo pondered what the other male's back round might be a time or two but never came out and asked because then he'd have to tell his own story and yeah, couldn't have that.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all." A small smirk (which was most out of character from what Ichigo had gathered of the other guy's personality so far) "Just admiring your scarf."

"My scarf? What the hell does what I'm wearing have to do with anything? It's just a scarf."

(Izuru)

Izuru shook his head. Poor Higo-kun was either completely oblivious or in denial. While he didn't pity the younger male he felt he should offer him a tip or two on how to come to terms with what would surely be a somewhat difficult time in life.

He had over heard Higo-kun and Isshin-san the other morning and found out that the black haired brat with orange-framed glasses would be attending Hogyoku University. Which as irony or not so-irony would have it, was the very same college that Izuru himself went to.

Should he take it upon himself and guide Higo-kun?

'_**Yes I think I will.'**_

Mind made up Izuru shrugged off his blazer and grabbed the key's to one of the hotel/clubs cars. "Come on Higo-kun I'm going to show you what I like to do during my off hours."

()()()

(Ichigo)

It was a little strange that the blond had suddenly changed his tune but Ichigo felt no reason to complain. If he had to spend another minute in this boring resort he'd probably develop cabin fever. So he followed the blond out the door and into the afternoon sunlight

()()()

Much to his annoyance Kira's idea of fun was taking him on a sight seeing tour.

"And here we have the town's shopping center, I never go in there unless I absolutely have to but since you seem to have a fondness for soft and vibrantly colored material things, perhaps we should park and go inside?"

Ichigo said nothing. His mind was elsewhere-well not exactly-more like he was trying to figure out what it was about his scarf that seemed to catch the attention of so many.

_Izuru hadn't been the only one. Before goat face had dragged him to Bankai Springs, Ichigo recalled that along the way in many of the resting stops and dining areas several heads had turned._

_He had been so tempted to fling the fucking piece of silk away from him and release his Shiro persona but it probably wouldn't have been wise to cause a riot and wind up behind bars when goat face was trying so desperately to keep his true identity a secret._

'_**That's another thing that idiot has yet to properly explain to me. What the hell is the point of all the disguises anyway? And how does it have anything to do with my mother?**__'_

()()()

(Izuru)

Higo-kun was biting on his bottom lip again. Perfect set of pearly whites gnawing into a peach tinted mouth.

'_**He really should stop doing that. If he doesn't-well who knows what kind of attention he'll attract.'**_

Almost as if the gods were taunting him simply because they could at that moment Izuru slammed on the gas when he noticed that a group of older men ranging between the age group of late 30's to mid 40's had caught sight of him and Higo-kun.

Their eyes had said it all.

'_Daddy like.' And 'Daddy want.' And 'Daddy will have!'_

"Fuckin perverts," he heard Higo snarl under his breath just then.

Part of Izuru was amused but another part of him had been a little surprised.

"You noticed those men Higo-kun?"

"Stop calling me Higo-kun!" A snort "And hell yeah I noticed those sick geriatric bastards, you should pull the fuck over so I can get out and kick their asses!"

"Well they weren't _that _old but_-_

"That's not the fucking point!" Higo snarled just then and this time Izuru did laugh.

()()()

(Ichigo)

"So seafood okay with you Higo-k-er or do you want something else?"

"Seafood is fine. Where are we anyway?"

An hour or two had passed since the incident with the 'uncles'

"We're in Peacock Territory."

Ichigo raised a brow at that. "What?"

()()()

When Kira said they were in Peacock Territory this was the last the thing that Ichigo expected to see.

"Cross-dressers?"

"They prefer the term feathered beauties."

Well Ichigo certainly wouldn't argue with that.

The cross-dressers or feathered beauties were very nice to look at with their soft skin and perfectly threaded brows. One, who he presumed must be the main star or the ring leader even went so far as to string colorful feathers into his brow. His voice carried a melodious tune to it.

But still what did any of this have to do with seafood or eating unless-

"Is this the restaurant?"

Kira shook his head. "No this is just a detour of sorts. I actually have to talk to Yumichika-san about something, you just wait here."

()()()

Fall had finally come and unfortunately for Ichigo it seemed that goat face was suddenly changing his mind.

The older man was clinging to his leg from the ground and wailing-well not wailing per se-but

"No, Ichigo don't walk out those doors! What can you possibly learn from college anyways? It's completely pointless, I've taught you everything you need to know and-ouch!"

Ichigo didn't mean to be violent with his moronic caregiver really he didn't but-goat face was being ridiculous-even more so than normal-

Giving the man another swift kick the orange haired male threw open the door-only to have Isshin grab onto his leg again-

Yes that was another thing Ichigo had decided to go completely against goat face wishes and wash the dye out of his hair. He was tiered of hiding.

To keep the man somewhat happy he left the glasses on.

Cinnamon and coffee colored eyes rolled "I'll be back during the holidays. Now get off me!"

()()

In the end goat face followed after him and insisted on lying out in the middle of the street shouting

"At least let me drive you there, make sure everything is as it should be."

'_**Right as if people won't think I'm weird enough, now he insists on playing my chaperone.'**_

Ichigo was about to turn the ignition when a soft voice reached his ears just then.

_It wasn't the first time Ichigo had heard the voice-there had been one other occasion, last summer, just a week after his birthday._

_Let him come along. You know he'll just further embarrass you if you don't._

The voice made Ichigo feel warm and secure-like a blanket, only better. He often wondered in his own private thoughts if it was his mother speaking to him from beyond death.

With a sigh, Ichigo rolled down the window and called out to his old man. "Fine, hurry up and get inside or I'll change my mind and run you over."

()()()

Bad idea. Really bad idea because the whole way there Isshin thought it would be fun to recount the days of his college years-going on and on about all the tail he chased-

"They couldn't get enough of me. It wasn't easy being as popular as I was and juggling all those women a first," a laugh" that was long before I met your mother of course!"

Or brag about being in one of the top fraternities around the world.

"Ah I tell you son, rush week is a real eye opening experience. Be prepared for anything because when they come for you, they come for you!"

And his rivals…

"He has a son just about your age actually but they are not very close. The most annoying thing about Ishida Ryuken is that condescending tone of his, god I just wanted to punch him in the face. Many times I did," A grin, "Then he'd retaliate by pressing on this one spot on my body that would make me go completely numb. I still shudder thinking about it every now and then."

A brief moment of silence and then-

"Technically he noticed your mother before I did but it didn't stop me from sweeping in and claiming her."

If it had been a red light, Ichigo would've hit the moronic goat just then. "Asshole! Don't talk about her as though she's some kind of fuckin' prize!"

()()()

Isshin smiled fondly. The boy was so much like his mother.

"Now remember when you get there you are Kuro Higo, son of Kuro Isshi. You enjoy poetry and are extremely allergic to broccoli. Keep your pants on at all times except for when you are in the bathroom and even then, be sure to keep em close by. Don't let anyone and I mean anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. If you should decide to lose the big V, always use protection. As much as daddy would love to have some grandchildren it's too son for a b-URGH!"

()()()

Ichigo ignored his throbbing hand. Hitting his father had been worth it.

'_**Honestly when will he learn?'**_

()()()

"Ah and now you're bleeding, my poor son! Better pull over so daddy can take a look and properly tend to your wounds."

"Shut the help up! It's not even serious."

()()()

It was late in the afternoon when the car pulled up to the campus. Ichigo adjusted his glasses and pulled his scarf more tightly around his neck. "Well this is it."

"Wait! One more thing!"

With out much warning Isshin practically jumped on the youth and came at him with a spray can.

Ichigo started coughing violently.

"Fuck! What is that shit? What are you doing?"

"It's Pink-On."

An orange brow was raised. "Pink ON?"

"Mm hmm 24 hour spray on hair dye."

"This is ridiculous. I thought I told you that I was tiered of dying my hair every damn year." Ichigo glanced at his reflection in the mirror "Great I look like a GD strawberry milk shake."

"Stop frowning, it's for your own good and besides your Higo remember?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes "Whatever." And stepped out of the car. "Might as well make yourself useful and get my bags."

"Of course my wonderful son and if you'd like daddy can accompany you to your dorm room as well that can be ar—

Ichigo sent a swift kick to the man's face just then.

"Don't even think about it. Just take my bags to the front entrance I can take care of the rest."

Isshin frowned at his son as he cradled his bruised cheek "Why are you always so mean to daddy dearest."

A dyed brow twitched violently. "Because daddy dearest is embarrassing me," Ichigo hissed through clenched teeth.

"Embarrassing you how? I don't see any one around oh-!"

"Yeah oh, fuck I swear I can't take you anywhere. Why can't you just be normal for once?"

Ichigo usually wasn't one to care about the opinions of others but if he was going to be attending this university for the next 4 years-he didn't want to come off as a complete and total reject.

When he noticed a group of jocks had stopped their soccer game in order to stare at him and his lousy excuse of a father he wished he had a hat or hood so he could shield his face from their view.

()()()

In a café just a few feet away from the campus, two not quite friends not quite enemies got up from their seats and quickly reached a decision noticing the pink haired prep in the parking lot.

'_**He's not from around here, that much is obvious**__. __**Better give him a warm and friendly welcome.'**_

()()()

**BLUE ABS**

Hogyoku University was a lot larger than Ichigo had been expecting not to mention-

White walls with red doors and, marble white floors, several grand staircases and glass elevators

Ichigo never had a problem with navigating and it would take him one, two days tops to memorize the layout of the university.

He'd left goat face back in the entrance lobby and set off in search of his dorm room.

()()()

"Six hundred and sixty, six hundred and sixty one, six hundred and sixty-two, six-hundred and sixty three-

Ichigo hadn't meant to stop and stare but in his defense the guy's natural rasp grunting growls of his work out routine and the abs themselves?

If Ichigo himself did 600 plus crunches a day he'd probably have a perfect six-pack as well…

The sight of all that natural sweat running down the guys body and into his shorts-more sweat dripping from electric and sky blue locks-

"Well now who do we have here?"

The guy was in his personal space now.

Smelling like nicotine, menthol and winter with the briefest whiff of salt water taffy-

Ichigo mentally kicked himself for thinking these kind of thoughts-

The time on the roof with 'the reaper' was one thing but this-

"I know the cat hasn't got your tongue because I haven't even pounced yet."

Brows furrowed.

'_**Did he just refer to himself as a cat?'**_

Well…taking in more of the guy's appearance Ichigo noted the slightly pointed ears-the sharp lines of his cheeks, jaw and chin all appeared to have a rather a-

"So are you my new roommate?"

Ichigo had to stop and remember that he was supposed to be Higo right now. "Uh oh um I didn't mean to interrupt your work out routine I just-

()()()

(Grimmjow)

Normally he didn't like the idea of someone interrupting his work out routine but-

'_**Mm I've always had a weakness for the brainy-types.'**_

Hair, a pretty pink color, bringing to mind the image of a perfectly puckered anus. Eyes, the color was difficult to pinpoint but they were just as pretty, even though the guy had attempted to hide them behind chunky orange-framed glasses. Looking almost too cute in his oxford dress shirt, tight slacks and silk scarf.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo swallowed hard.

It was that stare again.

"Listen uh anyway I'm looking for the Hollow Hall."

The one that Ichigo now dubbed as 'Blue Abs' grinned, "You're in it!"

"Huh?"

"Well part of it anyway. What year are you in?"

"Fir-

"Ah Higo-kun there you are. Ah and I see you dyed your hair. Anyway come along the Dean wishes to have a few words with you."

Ichigo turned.

"Kira what are you doing here?"

The blond scratched the back of his head and laughed sheepishly. "Oh I forgot to tell you I'm in my second year here at Hogyoku University."

Ichigo watched as the blond narrowed his pale blue eyes at the 'BLUE Abs' own electric blue ones.

"Did you _need_ something Grimmjow-kun?"

Blue Abs or Grimmjow as he was now known snarled at the blond. "Don't fucking call me Grimmjow-kun you twink!"

Ichigo raised a brow. Well that was uh-yeah so apparently Kira and this Grimmjow character didn't like each other all that much.

Kira rolled his eyes and tugged Ichigo's arm. "Come along Higo-kun, the Dean doesn't like to be kept waiting."

But Ichigo didn't want to leave. He'd much rather-

The scent of nicotine, menthol and taffy assaulted his senses once more as Grimmjow yanked him away from Kira.

()()()

The guy's electric blue eyes swept over him-and then Ichigo found himself rather breathless as lips captured his own.

He wasn't really sure what he should do.

Pulling away would probably be the wisest thing but-

"Ahem Higo-kun we really need to-

Right uh he was Higo-

Somewhat reluctantly Ichigo pulled away from Grimmjow.

Persona back in place.

"Uh see you around Grimmjow-san."

()()()

**DEAN AIZEN**

The man had yet to turn around. The only thing Ichigo could make out were coiffed hair, a fancy suit and Italian loafers.

"Have a seat Ichigo-kun."

A smooth baritone.

Ichigo's eyes shot open wide. "Did you just call m-?"

The chair swiveled around.

The dean was younger than Ichigo had been expecting. Entrancing deep brown eyes, symmetric nose, mouth like smooth co-

"Calm yourself Ichigo-kun. Your secret is safe with me," dark eyes glittered "On one condition."

A raised brow. "What condition?"

"That you fight for me."

Ichigo wasn't an idiot but he didn't understand what the man was talking about. "What do you mean?"

()()()

A stack of folders filled with old photos of both his parents and himself.

He couldn't remember much about his mother aside from the fact that she was very beautiful-

But now as he gazed upon the photos that were spread out across Dean Aizen's desk-Ichigo took it back for beautiful wasn't nearly a good enough word to describe the goddess that was his mother. Still how did this man-?

"Don't be alarmed I'm not threatening to harm your family or rather what's left of it, I am simply showing you that your secret can remain a secret or-

"Look I don't get what this is all about but could you kindly get the hell on with what ever it is you want me to do?"

"My, my what a temper."

Ichigo glared at the man and tapped his foot. "I'm waiting."

Dean Aizen tucked one hand under his chin. "Kon, Shiro, Higo, personas you've developed to hide your identity."

The way the man was speaking now was as though he was reading items off a grocery list.

"Your point is?"

"My point Ichigo-kun is that you enjoy fighting so instead of wasting your time sitting around I want you to fight for me," a pause "You shall become 'Cero's' newest member, the Triple Faced Tangerine."

"And if I don't?"

A smirk. "Trust me you'll want to become a part of Cero, it's the only way you'll be able to survive."

"Cero? Is that some sort of secret fighting club or something?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Why me?"

"Why not you?"

A sigh. "Fine when do I start?"

"Don't make it sound like it's punishment Ichigo-kun, I am offering you an opportunity of a lifetime here."

"So what you're telling me is the University is all just an illusion."

"Not at all. You will be expected to show up to class each day for knowledge is one of man's greatest weapons."

"And at night I'll be this grand tangerino or whatever?"

"The Triple Faced Tangerine-_my _ triple-faced-tangerine."

Ichigo's brows disappeared into his hairline just then.

'_**Surely he can't mean-?'**_

"My office hours are 6 in the morning to 5 in the evening. If you have any questions or perhaps would like for me to _assist_ you as you go through another transformation during your time here, please do not hesitate to ask."

"Uh are y-?"

"You may go Higo-kun."

()()()

(Nnoitra and Kenpachi)

They had it all planned out. They would corner the pink haired prep. See if he was truly worth all the attention that the rest of the campus seemed to be dishing out.

But every time Kenpachi or Nnoitra would set off to execute said plan someone or something always got in the way.

In Kenpachi's case he couldn't escape…

"Ken-Ken, come out come out where ever you are!"

A large elephant charging down the halls

No not an elephant just one seriously over obsessed chick

The sing-song squeak of one champagne/ginger blonde with knock out jugs.

"There you are!"

Kenpachi thought quickly and hid inside one of the empty classrooms while Nnoitra blocked the door with several desks.

Not that it would stop the woman.

"Oh honestly Ken-Ken a few desks and a door can't escape our love."

"Find something new to be obsessed over Rangiku. Just because I accompanied you to your cousin's wedding does not mean I wish to have anything further to do with you."

_**/Why the hell I agreed in the first place I'll never know.'**_

Nnoitra cackled at the scene knowing full well how much it would piss the other black haired-male off.

()()()

He was still laughing about it an hour later..

'_**At least I don't have to worry about things like-**_

"NNOITRA-SAMA!"

This time it was Kenpachi's turn to laugh as a blur of sandy blond and white came running down the hall "NNOITRA-SAMA!"

Nnoitra cursed and stubbed out his cigarette.

Like he gave two fucks about whether or not he was allowed to smoke on campus grounds.

The blur of sandy blond and white was now on top of him. 'NNOITRA-SAMA!" the shorter male figure called out again and clung to him like a fuckin' over hyper chimp in a zoo.

Nnoitra none too lightly pushed the clinging boy off of him.

"Fuck-off Tesla!" 

"But Nnoitra-sama I-

"You bore me. Now fuck off!"

Neither Nnoitra, nor Kenpachi stopped and consoled the little bastard when he started bawling like a newborn baby.

For fuck sakes this was college after all. Grow the fuck up!

()()()

_**When the Coyote Sleeps**_

…

"_Damn you go away!" Ichigo hissed_

He wasn't talking to anyone since it was late in the night and everyone was asleep…no he was

'_Only touch your manhood when you are emptying your bladder. If you touch at any other time, the snatchers will appear and you my son will wake up and discover that you are suddenly dickless. Not that daddy would have a problem with having a baby girl but-_

'_I don't want to be a girl so stop talking about it because I'll never ever touch it unless I'm going to the bathroom!'_

Ichigo snorted at the memory…

For as stupid as his father acted, the man wasn't entirely useless.

He glared down at the tent in his pajamas. _"Okay so I can't touch you then what should I do?"_

_()()_

_(STARRK)_

_Across the room in the other bed, smoke and storm gray eyes watched the strange conversation between a boy and his pajamas._

()()()

(Ichigo)

"_I'll just take a look at it. Maybe its not what I think it is maybe its some kind of bug bite?"_

()()O

(STARRK)

And now the boy was shoving away his covers and climbing out of bed.

'_**What are you up to?'**_

Starrk continued to watch as the figure moved towards the window and-

'_**Whipping it out in the dead of night with only the shimmering moon for a light? It's a bit strange but I suppose one doesn't need to be able to see properly in order to jack off-still why is he?'**_

()()()

Ichigo felt nervous which was stupid because his roommate was sleeping and according to Kira, the Coyote could sleep through an earthquake.

Still he couldn't shake the feeling that some one or something was watching him-

He tried to ignore it and focus on the task at hand.

()()()

(Starrk)

His roommate's behavior became even stranger.

'_**Why does he look like he's having some sort of internal battle with himself?'**_

()()()

(Ichigo)

It was red and swollen and there seemed to be some sort of liquid oozing out of it

Ichigo cursed inwardly.

'_**Fuck me now on top of everything else I seemed to have been attacked by some sort of vicious (SQUEAK)**_

'_**Okay bugs is one thing at least I can kill them but if there's a m-(SQUEAK!)**_

Ichigo shook his head. This is stupid. Honestly what the hell was wrong with him? Acting like a big baby and freakin out over noises.

He reached a hand out and just let it hover over his throbbing man hood.

'_**I'm not going to touch it I'm not going to touc-'**_

"I see the Grantz twins are up to their old tricks again."

Ichigo, naturally was startled at the new voice.

It was sort of a lazy drawl, not bad sounding.

But-

"What the hell is wrong with you? Sneaking up on a guy like that?"

A low chuckle.

And then soft lips were at his ear. "Why are you hesitating?"

()()()

(Starkk)

Starrk was not a pervert. It was not in his nature to creep up on someone let alone hit on that person when they were half exposed.

But there was something about that shorter male that stirred his somewhat more wolfish tendencies.

()()()

(Ichigo)

As if Ichigo wasn't freaking out enough now he had to worry about a real life

"Get away from me you penis snatcher!"

He reached for his pants ready to pull them back up only to be stopped by a set of larger hands.

()()()

(Starrk)

Starrk raised a brow.

Of all things he certainly hadn't been expecting that sort of reaction.

And penis snatcher?

What in Hades?

'_**I think the best thing I can do for him right now is put his worries to rest.'**_

()()()

(Ichigo)

"Why me? Why do these things always happen to me?"

His roommate wasn't really doing anything. He had simply rested his hands on top of Ichigo, halting his movements.

"Easy now, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has been a victim to the Grantz brothers infamous teas."

Ichigo felt like the world's biggest moron. Of course the fuckin' tea had been laced with something.

'_**That's why I'm feelin' like this but that still doesn't explain this guy!'**_

"Um can you please just stop touching me?"

The hands remained where they were.

Higo Persona be damned.

"Let go of me you fuckin' freak or I swear I'll kick your ass!"

()()()

(Starrk)

Thrashing and snarling. It seemed his new roommate had a bit of a temper.

'_**Cute. Very cute.'**_

"Easy, getting all flustered will only make matters worse."

()()()

(Ichigo)

"I'm not flustered!"

The guy started rubbing his shoulders and Ichigo was surely turning brighter than a damn fire hydrant.

"Anger won't help either."

'_**What the fuck? Is he freakin' nuzzling my neck with his nose now?'**_

()()()

(Kenpachi and Nnoitra)

"Wake the fuck up! Aizen expects us to report to his office before the sun rises."

School was officially back in session for there was no other time when Kenpachi's alarm clock would be the sounds of his screeching roommate.

"Pipe down Nnoitra unless you wanna wake every single occupant in this shitty little apartment."

"Like I give two shits. It's just the same cluster of fuckin' losers like it's been for the past 2 years. Nnoitra pulled on a yellow and black striped hoodie before lacing up his shoes and continuing his little morning rant. "I don't even know why I bother to show up to half of the matches when I could be out doing more constructive things with my time."

Kenpachi let out a snort and grabbed his towel, hair comb and boxer shorts before shuffling towards the shared bathroom inside said shitty apartment.

Although truthfully the apartment complex wasn't shitty or little. It more closely resembled a ritzy condo that one might see in a place like Las Vegas or something. For Dean Aizen took special care of all of his prized fighters.

But Zaraki Kenpachi and Nnoitra Jiruga didn't give a shit about things like that. Because neither black haired male had ever been early risers.

()()()

(Ichigo)

He'd really rather not think about how he wound up in his roommates bed.

Really rather not think about how natural it felt to have a larger body spooning him from behind.

'_**At least he was descent enough to leave his own pants on but still what the hell came over me last night?'**_

()()()

(Starrk)

Starrk let out a lazy yawn as he opened his eyes to a new day.

'_**And what a pleasant view indeed.'**_

He still hadn't learned his roommate's name so for now he would simply call him the 'Pajama boy'

The Pajama boy had a lovely back. Color like a ripened peach, smooth, hairless and shapely like his cute behind.

Oh Starrk had been so unbelievably tempted to bite said behind last night but he fought down the animal and instead focused on bringing his 'Pajama Boy' to the wonderful white paradise.

()()()

(Kenpachi and Nnoitra)

Dean Aizen and his round the clock meetings- a time when all of all his prized fighters would gather round his office and join him for tea.

No not just tea, imported tea.

Kenpachi himself never touched the tea. He'd grab a croissant or two, take a few bites and throw the rest in the trash. Then he'd stand in the back of the room with his arms crossed and wait for the man to get on with his little meeting.

And while Nnoitra didn't care much for tea either (he preferred freshly brewed Columbian coffee) he'd normally gulp down a cup or two. Then he'd knock whoever was every occupying the most comfortable chair in the room to the side and plop his own ass in it.

()()()

(AIZEN)

Deep brown eyes studied all of the occupants in the room.

A pleased smile. _**'Good all of my children are here.'**_

Aizen took a few sips from his teacup and then stood up in order to address all of his best fighters.

And yes they were the best. Because he had hand picked them.

"I have asked all of you here this morning because as we head into a new year I have a few important announcements to make."

All eyes were on the Dean.

'_**As it should be.'**_

"The first announcement: Young Wonderweiss will no longer be with us for he has found that fighting first blood matches are against his religion."

There were a few coughs and yawns.

'_**Just as I expected.'**_

"The second announcement: Kariya Jin has retired from his position as an art teacher. His replacement will be Urahara Kisuke."

A few murmurs.

'_**Hmm and here I was expecting to hear some voices of complaint since that man departed so abruptly.'**_

"The third and final announcement: You've heard his name whispered among some of the world's greatest athletes, he's been spotted in various cities and towns but no one has ever discovered his true identity. Until now: That's right the 5th Guardian is here amongst us."

Murmurs, groans, sighs, squeals of excitement and-

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE'S HERE?"

'_**Jiruga and his colorful language. Also expected.'**_

Aizen took another sip from his cup.

"SILENCE!"

The group (minus two) rose from their respected seats and bowed.

"Forgive us Aizen-sama."

Aizen laughed. "All is forgiven my children. You may sit."

()()()

(Kenpachi and Nnoitra)

Kenpachi had since tuned out whatever else Dean Aizen had to say.

His mind was only on one thing now.

Tracking down the 5th Guardian and challenging him to a fight.

He glanced at Nnoitra and could tell that the taller dark haired male was having similar thoughts.

Without a warning or word Nnoitra left Aizen's office.

He'd heard all he needed to know.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo was not a paranoid individual-no really he wasn't but he was beginning to think that Kira was stalking him.

Everywhere he went there the older blond was.

"Ah Higo-kun why don't you join me for breakfast? I'd like to introduce you to my friends."

Ichigo was the kind of guy who liked to eat when it was time to eat and talk when it was time to talk. He did not enjoy doing both at the same time.

'_**Ah but I'm not Ichigo, I'm Higo again. Last night was a little too close for comfort. I gotta be careful around that Coyote, if I relaxed any more I would've ru-**_

"Watch your step Higo-kun, that one is a bit faulty."

()()()

"Honsho Chizuru, Hisagi Shuhei, Madarame Ikkaku, Hinamori Momo, and you already met Ayasegawa Yumichika, guys this is Kuro Higo, he's considering joining the drama department."

"Well actually Kira I never actually-

A flash of blue-familiar electric blue pushed the blond none to gently to the side and grinned at Ichigo.

"Why hello there I was wonderin' when I'd be seeing you again."

()()()

It was the left over side affects from the tea.

It had to be the left over side affects from the tea because there was no way Ichigo would've let Grimmjow pull him away from the breakfast table and into one of the empty classrooms for a little tonsil hockey.

It had started innocently enough.

When 'Blue Abs' had said something along the lines of

"_**I'm from Canada so naturally I enjoy anything hockey related."**_

It was truly ridiculous and if Ichigo had really taken a moment to stop and think about it he wouldn't have-

"So I didn't catch your name last time since I was too busy drooling over your beauty."

If Ichigo could be himself at that moment he would've kicked Grimmjow but as it was-

"The name is Higo. And I'm not beautiful I'm a guy just like you."

"Like me huh?" Electric blue eyes grew dark and Grimmjow grinned. "Wanna prove it?"

()()()

It was the middle of the week when Ichigo received a note from Dean Aizen.

He was to report to the man's office at 5 o clock on the dot. And from there together they would head down to the underground fighting club.

'_**Really though you'd think he would have picked a location out side the campus instead of right beneath it. Still-**_

Ichigo cracked his knuckles

'_**I am looking forward to a good warm up.'**_

()()()

Inside the gates of Zan…

"The spirits are growing restless perhaps it would be wise to send the 4 guardians to find the tangerine child sooner rather than later."

()()()

(Ichigo)

The familiar sound of quick footsteps…

Ichigo turned. "Ah Kira what's up?"

The pale blond eyed him strangely for a minute and then shook his head.

"Are you busy at the moment Higo-kun?"

"Nah just finished up my last class of the day actually. Why?"

"Good come with me!"

()()()

Ichigo did not appreciate being dragged down the hall like a damn doll but since he was supposed to be Higo right now he had to keep his temper under control.

"Uh Kira where are you taking me to exactly?"

"I want you to meet someone."

Ichigo raised a brow. "Who?"

"You'll know soon enough."

()()()

Kira continued to drag him through hallway before finally screeching to a stop.

"This is it."

"It's a door."

"Of course it's a door." 

Ichigo wracked his brain. "I don't get it why did you bring me to a door?"

Kira laughed. "You're quite a funny guy when you want to be Higo-kun, it's not the door but what's behind the door that matters."

"Would you stop calling me that already? It's becoming really annoying."

The blond cocked his head to the side. "I don't understand it is your name isn't it."

"Er yeah sure I mean but what I meant was the honorifics, its completely unnecessary."

"Sure its necessary and I'm actually surprised to hear those words come out of your mouth I mean after all you are the son of Ku-

"Whatever. Just open the door."

"I just don't know what to make of you Higo-kun. One minute you're throwing colorful insults and glares around and then next you're-

"I'm a human. I'm allowed to have more than one face aren't I?"

Kira looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes I suppose you are."

One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes. Five minutes passed.

"Well aren't you gonna open the door?"

()()()

(Izuru)

He hadn't meant to space out but once again he had found himself drawn to Higo-kun's mouth.

The shape, the color, the texture.

'_**I suppose I could find out for myself.'**_

Izuru shook his head.

'_**Perhaps some other time. Yes I have a whole year to taste Higo-kun if I should desire to do so. Right now I need to stay focused. The request, right the request.'**_

"Um Higo-kun before we go inside I would like to ask you a question. You are free to decline but I would really appreciate it if you-

"Oh for fuck sakes just spit it out Kira!"

Pale blues eyes watched those perfect lips spit out curses.

Izuru gave himself another mental kick

'_**Stop. You're not a teenager anymore. You can keep your lustful desires in check. Just breathe and-**_

"Izuru-kun you know how I hate it when you hover out side the door. Please come in and tell whoever is with you to wipe the scowl off his face."

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo did not recognize the voice on the other side of the door.

He frowned.

'_**I don't get it. How can see me my scowl through a wooden door? How could he possibly know that there were two people standing outside his-who is that guy?'**_

()()()

A Striped hat, a robe and clogs.

'_**This guy has got to be one of the strangest professors I have ever seen.'**_

_Shadowy gray eyes swept over him._

Ichigo groaned inwardly. _**'Another one? God why me?'**_

"Let's get right to it Higo-kun."

He was afraid to ask

"Get right to what?"

Kira and the professor in the hat and clogs shared a look before answering. "You're perfect!"

Ichigo furrowed his brows. "Perfect for what?"

"The perfect model."

"Excuse me?"

"Ah ha ha yes and that, the reddened cheeks just the thing we need to make sure the lesson is grander than grand."

Why the fuck was this guy talking about?

What lesson?

And modeling for what exactly?

Ichigo wouldn't find out the answer until Friday.

()()()

_**Wave Empress**_

"The rules are simple. The first one to draw blood is the winner."

()()()

Once he got over the initial shock that underneath a long cloak and hood there was a female, Ichigo shifted into the appropriate fighting stance and then charged.

It wasn't a matter of if he could win.

It wasn't a matter of arrogance.

Ichigo knew he would win.

Still he was not stupid. It was pretty clear that his opponent hadn't unleashed all of her cards yet.

()()()

The woman's speed alone was something that few could match.

And her blows were…

'_**It is almost as though I am a ship and she is a shark. The power behind her punches-if I didn't counter that last blow she'd probably have dislocated my shoulder. Still everyone has a blind spot I just need to find hers-there!'**_

()()()

"Winner, Triple Faced Tangerine."

Ichigo never felt quite right about putting his hands on a woman-it wasn't even a matter if he should-it was the right thing to do.

Check on his opponent. 'The Wave Empress' they had called her.

"Are you okay?"

Poison green eyes studied him. It was almost as though the woman was trying to reach a decision or confirm something about him.

From what Ichigo could gather '_The Wave Empress'_ didn't seem like the kind of woman who would appreciate being touched but he couldn't just leave her sitting there cradling her ankle.

So he picked her up and carried her down to the nurse's office.

()()()

(Kenpachi and Nnoitra)

They hadn't expected much from some newbie who went by a stupid code name like 'Triple Faced Tangerine.'

There was nothing particularly impressive about the figure in the striped mask, t-shirt, cut off pants and orange and white fingerless gloves.

Hell the guy barely gave off an aura.

Let alone ignited that spark in natural fighters like Kenpachi and Nnoitra.

But then they saw him move and things changed.

The 'Tangerine' didn't have one particular fighting style. It wasn't structured but wild and chaotic. And still there was a certain kind of beauty in all of it.

'_**And its only a bonus that the Tangerine happens to have such an edible looking ass.' **_thought Nnoitra.

Kenpachi's own inner thoughts mirrored his roommates. _**'Getting him to submit will only be half of the fun.'**_

()()()

"You needn't hover over me anymore, boy. I appreciate your concern but it is not necessary.

Ichigo frowned.

Just as he had suspected the blond woman was a stubborn individual.

And not very friendly.

"At least let me stay until the nurse comes in."

The 'Wave Empress' rolled her poison greens before turning her back to him. "Do as you wish."

So Ichigo pulled up a chair and sat there in silence.

It was half past 10 when the nurse finally entered the wing.

She did not seem surprised at all to see a patient lying on the bed.

In fact she didn't react much at all.

Simply turned to Ichigo and said. "Your presence is no longer needed. Now go!"

Ichigo wanted to protest but when the nurse narrowed her aquamarine colored eyes at him and despite her 5'6 stature, he shrunk back a little and then quickly high tailed it to the exit door.

()()()

He hadn't expected Dean Aizen to be waiting outside the door.

'_**Bastard. What the hell does he want now?'**_

()()()

"You did very well for your first match. Just as I knew you would but truthfully it shouldn't have taken you so long to draw blood from her. Why did you hesitate?"

Ichigo glared at the man with over coiffed hair.

"It has nothing to do with hesitating or some such shit. I refuse to strike my opponent from behind. When I fight I fight on equal ground. No exceptions."

Deep brown eyes glittered. "I see."

Every time the man spoke Ichigo wished to punch him.

But refrained.

'_**I do not wish to have any more blood on my hands then is necessary.'**_

"I'm tiered so if you are done with your stupid lecture or whatever I'd like to return to my dorm."

"Of course." Aizen stepped to the side so Ichigo could pass.

"_Pleasant dreams Ichigo-kun."_

Ichigo shuddered.

()()()

The following morning at the breakfast table…

"Long night Higo-kun? You look positively exhausted."

The lie slipped off Ichigo's lips as smooth as butter. "Yeah late night studying does that to a guy you know." He offered the blond a small smile. "Luckily for me I have no classes today so I can totally catch up on some much needed R and R."

"But not for the whole day right?"

Why oh why did this sound like-?

"Did you need something Kira?"

"Well not need so much as I would like for you to come to our dress rehearsal and you know just get a feel for the drama club, see what we do and possibly maybe join?"

Ichigo did not enjoy letting others down but-

"Listen Kira the drama department, putting on plays and what not it's not really my scene."

Pale blue eyes danced. "How can you say that for sure if you haven't tried it?"

"I have no interest in acting."

"No but you like poetry and some of the greatest plays are written in a poetic style-

Ichigo groaned inwardly.

'_**I knew I should've slept in longer'**_

"Alright what time does it start?"

"Around 1 o' clock but you can come earlier if you like?"

()()()

But Ichigo never made it to the drama hall

"Come it's time for your next match Higo-chan."

The guy had a fox like face and ruby red eyes. He'd only seen him once or twice.

"A match? In the middle of the day?"

()()()

Yes a match in the middle of the day.

But this one wasn't about drawing first blood it was about-

"Testing your reflexes."

"My reflexes?"

()()()

His opponent didn't appear to be particularly strong or fast but-

But the blows he dealt-

'_**It's almost like I'm trapped in some sort of overgrown forest and he himself is some wild ivy plant. His attacks seem easy enough to dodge but just when I think I'm gaining some ground he does something unexpected and shoves his butt in my face which is a bit strange in it self but there must be something more to it.**_

()()()

(Nnoitra and Kenpachi)

Much like the previous night…

Nnoitra and Kenpachi were watching the 'Tangerine's' early morning fight from the side lines.

And Nnoitra was growing irritated.

"This is ridiculous. How can he be struggling against someone like Andro-boy?"

Kenpachi snorted. "Maybe he's just making all of us think that he's having a difficult time keeping up with the 'Ivy Prince'."

"Yeah well he'd better hurry the hell up and win this or else I'll-

"Nnoitra, you will get your chance to fight the 'Tangerine' so stop acting like a spoiled brat."

"What the fuck are you doing here Halibel? Shouldn't you still be lying there in that hospital bed licking your wounds?"

The woman with poison green eyes ignored him as she turned to Kenpachi.

"How's he doing?"

Kenpachi didn't think much of Halibel. While he didn't hate the blonde woman he didn't particularly care for her much either.

The way she spoke to him at times made him feel as though she could see right through him and he didn't like that.

"The Tangerine will win this match, it's coming to a close. Luppi doesn't stand a chance."

"How the hell can you possibly know that?"

Kenpachi didn't bother giving Nnoitra an answer.

He'd much rather focus his energy on the 'Tangerine's' legs-he couldn't quite put his finger on it yet but he was drawn to the knees in particular.

()()()

Once the match ended Ichigo did not wait around he headed for the exit door and made his way back to his dorm room.

'_**Probably should shower but fuck it I'll take one later.'**_

()()()

Unfortunately the nap never happened either-

()()()

'_**The Coyote and Blue Abs?-fuck me!'**_

()()()

He really had no one to blame but himself.

"The decision is yours Higo. You either can choose me or him."

'_**What the hell? What is with this ultimatum crap? I mean I know I've made out with Grimm a few times and I let Starrk jerk me off late in the night on more than one occasion but I'm not looking for some sort of relationship or anything.'**_

A pause

'_**Then what am I doing exactly? I'm coming to terms with the fact that enjoy being cornered and touched like that but I don't want to give them the wrong idea and-**_

"Don't think so hard on it. The answer will come to you."

'_**Easy for you to say-I mean both of you are standing in my room (never mind that Starrk sleeps here too) half naked with noticeable tents in your pants and-**_

"Easy now, there's no pressure here."

"Nope no pressure at all. We're just having fun or rather we would be having fun if you'd-

"Shh you're not helping."

"Who the fuck are you to order me to do anything?"

Smoke and Electric orbs clashed.

'_**Well at least the attention is off me now-'**_

Ichigo let out a sigh.

'_**Still I think it would be best if I left.'**_

()()()

(Nnoitra and Kenpachi)

Every time they attempted to follow the 'Tangerine' their plans would be thwarted.

"This is fuckin ridiculous. The place ain't that big and there's only so many places he can hide."

"Maybe he's not hiding at all."

"Meaning?"

"I mean and this is just a theory, there's nothing official but maybe the Tangerine and the 5th guardian are the same guy."

Sometimes Kenpachi's insight and 'theories' impressed even Nnoitra himself. And there was very little that could impress Nnoitra.

"Heh you might be on to something there, the only question now is how do we confirm it?"

()()()

_**FRISKING FRIDAY!**_

Nnoitra and Kenpachi had been focusing so much of their attention on trying to uncover the identity of the 'Tangerine' that they had almost completely forgotten about the pink haired prep with an equally delectable looking little ass.

And then it happened.

()()()

Professor Urahara was fuckin weird. Probably a fuckin' hippie-for how else could one explain the man's clothing attire.

And the smell of the classroom-

It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was marijuana.

A half-baked professor teaching a group of aspiring young artists.

Nnoitra didn't care much for art but he figured it was an easy course and so he showed up for class.

And Kenpachi couldn't draw a straight line to save his life but it was either art class or scientology and since he really didn't give two shits about what was considered religion or non-religion, art it was.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo really should've have figured it all out when both blondes had handed him a simple robe and matching slippers and then ordered him to strip down.

"The important thing to remember is: The human body is art in and of itself. By shielding our bodies from the eyes of our fellow man we are shielding away a part of ourselves. Take a moment to breathe and then walk into the classroom when you are ready."

Sure Ichigo had heard about this kind of thing.

Posing in the nude on top of some stool while a group of 15 or 20 pairs of eyes studied and then tried to recreate the image of the model on their canvas or paper or whatever.

'_**How the hell do I always get suckered into these kind of scenarios.'**_

In the back of his mind he knew that it was probably quite stupid to be so nervous about showing off his body to complete strangers.

'_**I mean we're all adults here. I doubt any of them would try anything funny or-**_

There was a knock on the door.

"Higo-kun are you almost ready?"

'_**No. Not really but I don't have a choice in the matter do I?'**_

"Yeah I'm on my way out now."

()()()

Who ever originally said the words 'Just picture them in their underwear and you'll forget about your own nakedness' or however the stupid saying went was a fucking liar.

Because it did not help in the least.

Some how it only made Ichigo feel twice as exposed.

'_**I've been snuggling with the Coyote for several nights, I shouldn't feel so damn-'**_

"Yeah baby take it all off!"

There was always that one individual. Sometimes called the class clown or the Grade A Jack Ass.

There was always that-

"Don't be shy now."

Make that Uber Perverted Chick!

"Settle down Risa-chan. Don't give me a reason to kick you out of the class."

Ichigo would almost take the hat and clogs professor seriously if the man wasn't wearing an equally perverted grin on his face and talking in that same sing song tone.

()()()

(Nnoitra)

He didn't give a fuck if it was technically illegal or unethical or inappropriate he was less than 2 minutes away from grabbing the sexy little bitch pink-haired prep posed on the stool and fucking him right in front of the entire classroom.

In the back of his mind Nnoitra noticed that there seemed to be something familiar about pink haired prep's hands. The clenching of the fists in particular struck a cord in him.

'_**I wonder.'**_

()()()

(Kenpachi)

The 'model' appeared to be pretty miserable.

Kenpachi wished to wipe the look off the younger male's face.

Wished to turn that frown/scowl upside down.

'_**There are quite a few ways in which I can make this happen but first.'**_

"Sensei?"

"Yes Kenpachi-kun?"

"The kid looks like he's gonna pass out, perhaps I should take him down to the nurse?

Professor hat and clogs looked thoughtful for a moment.

()()()

(Ichigo)

He had no idea who it was that was suddenly coming to his rescue but he would be sure to thank them just as soon as he was able to retrieve his clothes.

()()()

(Nnoitra)

Nnoitra was fucking pissed.

'_**How dare that bastard move in on my pet with out consulting me first!'**_

()()()

(Ichigo)

He hadn't even gotten his pants properly zipped when-

A beast, a wild beast is what the guy reminded him of.

_Ripped all over, not just his abs and biceps like Grimmjow, this guy is a Grade A Muscle man-his grip alone was enough to make wince Ichigo a bit. _

_**And there's no way in hell he's really a college student-well over 6 feet and-**_

"Hey! What the hell? Put me down!"

'_**I'm Higo so I should be-**_

"There's no need for you to carry me I can walk just fine Beast-san."

'_**That's a little better.'**_

His 'captor' laughed and then proceeded to drag him down the halls, down several flights of stairs and out into the sunlight.

()()()

(Kenpachi)

Kenpachi did not head for the apartment complex, nor did he head for woods-no places like that were far too obvious. Instead he made his way towards the parking lot.

Continuing to laugh as the pink haired figure thrashed in his hold.

()()()

(Ichigo)

What a fuckin' limo was doing in a campus parking lot Ichigo did not know nor did he really but-

Well at least his wild haired captor had been thoughtful enough to lay him down on soft leather seats.

'_**I'm supposed to be Higo right now so shouting for help would probably be my best bet but-**_

A wide beast like grin was the only warning Ichigo received before his captor was ripping off his pants and boxers in one fell swoop.

()()()

(Kenpachi)

While Nnoitra had been salivating all over his blank canvas and dry humping his desk-Kenpachi had been studying the model more closely.

The small barely noticeable scar on the left knee had been the tip off. He was 98 percent sure and right now his main goal was to confirm it.

The moment he tore the shorter male's pants off and saw the trimmed nest of soft tangerine curls his grin widened.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Ichigo was growing really sick and tiered of being looked at as though he were some piece of meat.

He was growing really sick and tiered of-

"Hey what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

'_**Wait! That wasn't very Higo-ish-let's try that again.'**_

"Um could you please stop tou-

Large hands had taken hold of his soft member and were slowly coaxing the organ to life.

'_**Warm. Warmer than the Coyote's hands. Warmer than-**_

Ichigo put his fist in his mouth in order to silence the pathetic whines and moans that were threatening to slip out.

He couldn't decide if he should lean into the touch or back away from it.

'_**Curse my body. Curse my wretched, wretched body!'**_

"And here I was expecting you to put up more of a fight."

Tempting as it was to scream 'fuck you' or some other colorful string of insults at the wild haired pervert-Ichigo continued to bite his fist in order to muffle the full on howling sounds he was making now.

'_**Why fight it? I know this is what I want so might as well enjoy it.'**_

()()()

(Kenpachi)

While it was true that he might have forgotten about the original game plan-Kenpachi no longer cared.

For the 'Tangerine' _his_ tangerine was glassy eyed, flush faced and thrashing mess.

Simply bringing the youth to the edge wasn't nearly enough-he wanted more and he would HAVE more!

()()()

(Nnoitra)

Bastard tried to be slick and pull a fast one but Nnoitra was no fool-he knew exactly where his spiky haired not quite friend/not quite enemy had dragged the pretty pink tangerine.

'_**Can't believe it didn't come to me a lot sooner. The height, the hands, the ass-I should've realized it since the very first moment I set sights on him.'**_

A wide grin split across his face.

'_**The question now is should I wait around for the match and beat him into submission or should I sample a lil' taste now and smack him around a bit afterwards? Hmm decisions, decisions.'**_

"NNOITRA-SAMA!"

Fucking Tesla again.

'_**One of these days I swear I'll fuckin' stab him.'**_

Nnoitra quickened his pace.

There was no way in hell he was going to let Kenpachi have all the fun!

()()()

(Ichigo)

Letting the beast jack him off was one thing

'_**Letting him give me a blow job is something else entirely. I won't let him do it. I mean I don't even know his name yet-let alone where his mouth has been.'**_

As a wide mouth neared closer and closer to his manhood-Ichigo reached a decision

"The human mouth is not sanitary, please let me go!"

When the beast just laughed and was now only less than an inch away from his manhood he officially pissed all attempts of keeping his Higo persona out the window.

The guy had only pinned the upper half of his body, his lower half was free-which meant Ichigo could-

()()()

(Kenpachi)

Kenpachi's excitement grew tenfold as the lithe toned body underneath started squirming again-

And the look on the Tangerine's face-he couldn't tell if it was one of fear or disgust-although he doubted it was disgust since the younger male was still rock hard.

He was quite impressed that the Tangerine had held off this long-sure that he would've exploded in his hands-

'_**It won't be long now. The moment I put my mouth around him he'll-**_

()()()

(Ichigo)

Years and years of training had helped prepare Ichigo for just about anything.

It was all a matter of leverage-getting the guy on top of him to slip up-reveal a weak point-for everyone had a weak point.

The spine was not an area that he usually targeted but it was his best bet right now.

He could dig his heel into the beasts spine, distract the guy long enough to shift out from under him and bring his legs up and-

()()()

(Kenpachi)

Kenpachi certainly hadn't been expected the Tangerine to kick him in the face with stocking feet.

He certainly hadn't expected the Tangerine to loosen himself enough in order to hit him in the first place.

He wiped at his mouth and was a bit disappointed to find it dry.

On the plus side-he received a lovely view of the tangerine's ass.

It was perfectly pink and-

He saw another kick flying towards his face and dodged it.

()()()

(Ichigo)

A little blood never hurt him before and right now Ichigo's main goal was to escape the beast.

Putting his fist through the window was the quickest escape route he could think of at the moment.

He didn't think about the pain or the fact that he technically wrecked a limo that quite possibly could belong to the beast himself-or perhaps Dean Aizen-or some other wealthy bastard here on campus.

He didn't worry about his pants-simply snatched his boxers and then just went for it-!

()()()

(Kenpachi)

Kenpachi considered chasing after the tangerine but opted to let the guy flee

'_**There will be plenty of opportunities to finish what I started.'**_

He leaned back in the leather seat and counted down the remaining minutes that it would take for Nnoitra to show up.

()()()

(Nnoitra)

To say that Nnoitra was disappointed to come upon the scene and notice his would be pet had already fled would be a major fuckin' understatement.

He had half a mind to drag Kenpachi out of the vehicle by his spiky hair and just start an all out all brawl-after all it had been far too long since he had last tasted blood-

"What the fuck do you mean you let him leave?"

Kenpachi snorted. "He hasn't gone far. You can run after him if you like but I'd rather sit around and wait until the next match."

Nnoitra snarled at Kenpachi. "The hell you are sticking your big over grown nose in my match!"

Kenpachi threw his head back and laughed.

()()()

(ICHIGO)

Ichigo wasn't sure what had possessed him to go to Dean Aizen but

'_**He did say come to him for anything.'**_

()()()

But the Dean wasn't alone so this meant Ichigo would have to chose his words wisely.

"Um I apologize for pestering you sir but there is something I'd like to discuss with you."

Perhaps it was Ichigo's imagination but he could've sworn the bastard's eyes darkened just then. "Why of course Higo-kun, we can discuss what ever it is that ails you over a cup of tea."

()()()

(Nnoitra and Kenpachi)

Later that night…

Nnoitra was in the process of folding his laundry (shh don't tell!) when Kenpachi came waltzing in…

He didn't even turn to the spiky haired male as he asked

"What the fuck does Aizen want from us now?"

Kenpachi removed his bed sheets from the dryer before mirroring Nnoitra's actions in folding (seriously don't tell!) and then answered

"Ichimaru didn't say. Just delivered the message and left."

Nnoitra rolled his mismatched eyes and pulled a clean red hoodie over his head.

()()()

(Aizen)

He couldn't scold Zaraki and Jiruga in the same manner that he scolded the rest of his children.

Since both of the younger males were a great deal bigger than him-in terms of both height and weight.

No Aizen had to use a different method with these two.

"Higo-kun has asked for protection. While I cannot guarantee him this, I can postpone the inevitable for at least a short time. You are hereby suspended from the next two matches. Get out of my sight."

()()()

Kenpachi and Nnoitra did not fear Aizen.

But they were wary of his undefined power and the bastard had an insane amount of power.

Black mail mainly-well that was how they had wound up under his perfectly polished loafers to begin with.

They did not know how-but Aizen knew about them-knew their secrets-knew of their pasts-and if they took it too far he could ruin them.

And everything they held dear.

For Kenpachi it was his tiny half sister Yachiru. The young girl was allergic to sunlight.

"_**The choice is yours. The girl can continue live her life shut up in a house with closed window drapes or she can go to Cricket Isle and be treated by a man who understands a lot about light or lack there of."**_

Kenpachi would do anything for Yachiru and so he had agreed. And Aizen, despite being a bastard had kept true to his words. And 2 years later, here in the present his sister could sit out in the sunlight for a few minutes.

As for Nnoitra

"_**You need a transplant but as I understand it you are having some financial difficulties right now. I know a man who will perform the surgery for free however I'll warn you now that should you agree you'll have to adapt to having mismatched eyes. The choice is yours."**_

Nnoitra had never been a good-looking child and when he entered his early teen years he was long and gangly-by the time he arrived on the grounds of Hogyoku college, he had adapted to his freakish look-having mismatched eyes was just the icing on the cake.

And so he had agreed.

Looking back on it perhaps he would've been better off with out it because then at least that way he never would've been indebted to Aizen.

He snorted at the thought.

'_**Like I give a fuckin shit. What's in the past is in the past.'**_

()()()

So they were barred from the Tangerine's next match.

No matter they would just corner him afterwards

()()()

'_**But why wait until next week-I'll just give him a little friendly visit now'**__ thought Nnoitra_

Kenpachi knew where Nnoitra was headed but instead of following he set off down the opposite corridor.

He had something else that he wished to take care of.

()()()

(Ichigo)

Agreeing to a late night study session with Kira and his friends seemed harmless enough.

'_**I probably should hit the books since I barely scraped by on that last history quiz.'**_

While Ichigo would never be a genius he wasn't a complete dunce either. And he knew he could do much better than a lousy 70 percent.

'_**Besides I really don't feel like giving Grimmjow and Starrk my answer tonight.'**_

"Sure Kira. Where do you guys usually meet?"

"The northern library on the second floor right past the music room."

()()()

(Nnoitra)

"Now let's see if I was a pink tangerine where would I spend my free time?"

_**The weight room? Nah doesn't seem like the type. The pool? Hmm it would certainly explain his sexy shoulder blades but-**_

Nnoitra wasn't a clumsy individual so on the rare occasion when he crashed into someone they were the ones at fault-not him.

"Watch where you're fuckin' goin' Jiruga!"

Nnoitra snarled at the familiar blue head of one Grimmjow Jeagerjaques-his former rival.

"Out and about during the late hours pussy cat? Catch a whiff of something good didya?"

"Not that it's any of your fuckin business but I'm on my way to meet someone."

"Ain't that sweet. Kitty has found himself a new home."

Grimmjow knocked into Nnoitra's shoulder. "Fuck you!"

Nnoitra cackled and called after the puss "Nah thanks the sight of a hairy blue ass like yours makes my balls shrink!"

'_**Now then where is my pretty tangerine pet hiding out at?'**_

()()()

(Ichigo)

When Ichigo entered the library he spotted Kira and his friends sitting at one of the tables in the back.

He adjusted the strap on his backpack and made his way over to the group.

()()()

"Ah Higo-kun you came, I'm so glad!"

Quite with out warning Kira came around and pulled Ichigo into a hug.

When Ichigo didn't return the hug, the blond let go and cleared his throat.

"Anyway let's get started shall we?"

()()()

Nothing unusual or exciting happened while Ichigo was in the library-well minus the foot that brushed against his ankle every now and then-but on the way out…

()()()

It was so pathetically cliché that Nnoitra almost wanted to forget his little greeting and just go ahead and pounce but these kinds of things took a certain amount of flair.

He grabbed the Tangerine and then dragged him to an enclosed corner shelf in the back of the room.

()()()

Slammed up against a hard surface. Well now how many times had this happened to Ichigo? He was beginning to lose count.

The guy had grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head.

Before pressing his lanky and wiry muscled body against Ichigo's own.

()()()

Long, thin fingers traced the lines and curves on his face.

Stopping at his mouth and brushing his thumb against Ichigo's bottom lip and then giving it a slight tug.

Blowing cinnamon and mint scented breath in his face.

And then he spoke.

"Loved your little display inside the class room pet and your little heroic act the other night was something I won't soon forget."

Ichigo furrowed his bleached brows.

"What are you talking about?"

The guy snickered. "Heard it through the grapevine that you're the Triple Faced Tangerine."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

More snickering. "Lying doesn't suit you pet."

"I'm not-!"

"Shh I have a better use for that mouth of yours."

'_**Why oh why don't I like the sound of that?'**_

()()()

Being gentle wasn't in Nnoitra's nature. But he was going to try to be gentle for his new pink tangerine pet.

Right hand still pinning the youth against the shelf Nnoitra used his left to unzip his fly.

"Now nice and easy pet I want you to get down on your knees wrap that mouth of yours around my cock."

"Um I'd really rather not if that's alright with you."

"Don't get smart with me pet, get down and suck!"

()()()

Ichigo considered his options.

'_**I could comply with his demands or I could try and bargain with him.'**_

"I've got a better idea if you'll hear me out?"

One dark gray eye and one bright purple eye looked at him. "What did you have in mind pet?"

"A match. First blood. If I win you let me go and we'll forget this happened and if you win I'll-

Ichigo bit back a moan as his current captor grinded against him. "Yes pet?"

"I'll let you do whatever you want to do to me."

()()()

Nnoitra grinned.

'_**My how generous my pink tangerine is.'**_

"Are you sure about this pet?"

The Tangerine didn't look sure about anything but he nodded.

()()()

"We can't fight right here in the middle of the library and no one is allowed in the underground stadium at this time of night so we'll take it to the rooftops."

"Fine with me."

()()()

(Ichigo)

It was a cool night but the wind felt good as it brushed against his face.

Agreeing to fight a guy on top of the roof probably wasn't the smartest decision he had ever made-especially since he hadn't seen the guy fight before-he didn't know what to expect

'_**Still I'm not going to be subjected to becoming his little bitch if I can help it!'**_

()()()

If Aizen caught word of what Nnoitra was about to do he'd be in deep shit.

Still-his mismatched orbs swept the Tangerine's perfect ass once more.

'_**The risk is worth it!'**_

()()()

"Ready?"

"Not so fast pet. I have a few ground rules first."

"Like what?"

"No scratching or hair pulling, we're not chicks so there is no excuse for cat fights!"

"And?"

"Don't go thinking that you can distract me with your girly hips because once I'm in battle mode, nothing can pull me out of it-a grin-besides the taste of blood pouring out of your lithe little body."

Ichigo glared. "Thanks for the tip. Name?"

"Nnoitra but you will call me master once I have you right where I want you."

()()()

(Kenpachi)

He couldn't explain what it was-one moment he was lying on top of his covers and ready to fall asleep and then next-he was bolting out of bed and racing out the door-

A fight was happening-how he knew this he honestly couldn't say-but something in his gut was telling him to head for the rooftops.

()()()

His pet was better than he could have imagined.

With every blow Nnoitra had dealt out, the tangerine would return the blow with a counter strike.

His was light and quick on his feet.

And even managed to catch Nnoitra off guard a time or two.

The tangerine didn't dance around or just dodge the oncoming attacks-rather he taunted his opponent, eyes dancing, slight smirk on his lips.

As if to say 'Come and get me.'

Nnoitra couldn't recall ever having so much fun fighting-

Normally he'd release his inner sadist but it didn't seem necessary when he was facing off against the tangerine.

Rather it had become more like a game.

He still planned to make his pet bleed but-

"If you keep spacing out like that I'm going to win."

()()()

Ichigo didn't really know what had come over him.

But he had quickly forgotten about what he was fighting for and just let him self get lost in the moment.

He unleashed a lil' bit of his Shiro persona as he delivered a high upper cut to his opponent's face-

()()()

Ichigo turned his head to the side and spat on the roof top while Nnoitra spat his own blood off of the roof top.

It had happened so quickly that neither man could determine who it was that had spilled the blood first

When cinnamon and coffee colored eyes met one gray and purple they shared a grin.

It didn't matter.

Because the real fun was starting now!

()()()

There was blood dripping from his head, from his mouth, from his chest and arms but Ichigo didn't care.

Because his opponent was an equally bloody mess-long white pant legs were now stained with crimson and he had a bloody gash underneath his dark eye, mouth swollen from the previous blow

()()()

His pet was full on snarling now as he charged for him-

'_**Can't wait for him to bring this to the bedroom.'**_

Then all of a sudden a loud screeching sound reached his ears-

Followed by a flapping noise-

()()()

Nnoitra seen many things but the sight being presented to him now-

'_**I'm hallucinating. There's no way there's a fuckin' crimson phoenix hovering in the sky right now.'**_

_**It was pitch dark and yet when the crimson phoenix appeared the sky-it was almost as though a great flame had lit it up-**_

His pink tangerine had ceased all movements as well and was now gazing up at the crimson phoenix with wide eyes-a dawning look of realization on his face-

'_**What the fuck is going on? Does that bird belong to him or-?'**_

()()()

When Kenpachi reached the top of the roof he stumbled at bit at the sight being played out before him.

A large crimson bird had Nnoitra clutched in its sharp talons, dangling him upside down like a piece of live bait-

()()()

Ichigo didn't know what to do. He tried to communicate with the phoenix (certain that he knew it from somewhere) but it was pointless.

The phoenix had spotted Nnoitra and apparently decided to make the lanky man his/her next meal.

For a while Ichigo thought that he was surely dreaming for a crimson phoenix was a mythical creature it wasn't real-

But the screeching sound and the large wings seemed very real.

He tried to wrack his brain for an answer.

Something, anything but nothing came.

And then he heard that voice. Her voice. His mother's voice.

"_**I will not let harm come to you my son. Any and all who spill your precious blood will meet their end."**_

"_Kaa-san is it really you?"_

"_**Yes, it is me."**_

"_But I don't understand why here? Why now?"_

"_**You are in danger my Ichigo."**_

"_In danger? Nah Nnoitra's harmless-a little perverted but harmless."_

"_**He has inflicted pain on you. The crimson does not lie."**_

"_What? This? Nah these are just flesh wounds, nothing a bit of bandages and ice won't fix."_

()()()

Kenpachi would approach the great winged animal with caution so as not to anger it further. Then he would grab the Tangerine and together they would figure out how to rescue Nnoitra.

He couldn't help but snort.

'_**Feels like I've spiraled into a damn fairy tale or something.'**_

()()()

The call had come and she had answered.

'_**Just as I knew she would.'**_

"Genryusai-sensei?"

"Yes Nanao what is it?"

"The four guardians have-

"They have left. Yes I know."

"But isn't it too soon."

"It no longer matters. By sunrise the 5th guardian will be back where he belongs."

"Sorry to burst your over inflated ego Yama-ji but I can't let that happen."

"What? You! How the hell did you get in here?"

Isshin grinned at the old man. "Long time no see Yama-ji. You took Masaki from me, I won't let you have my son too."

()()()

Two days later…

Nnoitra hates hospitals or anything resembling a hospital.

The bed sheets are scratchy. The nurse is a bitch. The smell is nauseating.

'_**I can't fuckin believe this. I've been in worse fights and have walked away unscathed…a fuckin' mystical bird comes along and breaks the bones in my damn ankle.'**_

If it weren't for the other occupant sitting with him in the room right now Nnoitra would fucking throw something.

As it was he simply crossed his arms and listened to his tangerine pets story.

()()()

"Now let me get this straight-I already knew that you were the 5th guardian but in addition to this the creature that attacked me two nights ago is a reincarnated version of your dead mother." 

"She didn't mean to attack you. I know she feels really guilty about it but when she saw all the blood-

"Are you making excuses for your psycho mother pet?"

"My name is Ichigo and she's not a psycho, she only wished to protect me."

Nnoitra's brow twitched. "Need I remind you that fighting against me was your idea Ichi-pet?"

"It's Ichigo and I haven't forgotten that Nnoitra."

Nnoitra grinned. "And are you going to keep up with your end of the bargain?

His pet did not answer right away as he moved off the chair and on to the bed.

"I'm not sure you deserve it I mean it was technically a draw."

()()()

But even as Ichigo said these words he began to crawl towards Nnoitra.

'_**I can't believe I'm about to go through with this.'**_

He continued crawling towards the taller male and didn't stop until he was at his side.

Ichigo's goal was to set a nice and steady pace. He would start off by leaning his head on Nnoitra's chest, just lay there for a few minutes and listen to the dark-haired male's steady heart- beats.

()()()

Nnoitra was glad that he had refused the stupid standard hospital gown because having his pet's head resting against his bare chest felt nice-

Ichi had soft hair. Nnoitra took a few minutes to run his fingers through the wild crown of orange.

"Cuddling huh? And here I was hoping you were going to-

"Shh!" Fingers were on his lips, silencing him.

Cinnamon and Coffee colored eyes danced. "Let's put your mouth to better use."

Nnoitra cracked a grin. His pet was throwing his words right back at him-well sort of-

()()()

Ichigo should have done it the moment Nnoitra's mismatched orbs landed on him when he stepped into the hospital wing-

'_**Well better late then never.'**_

Ichigo was no kissing expert but he hadn't received any complaints from any of his other admirers so far so he figured he was descent enough.

()()()

His pet was being quite bold-Nnoitra loved every minute of it. He wasted no time in properly devouring the tangerine's mouth with teeth and tongue-pinching that perfect bottom lip and running his mouth along each and every molar.

Nnoitra's motto was: If you're gonna sample something, sample it entirely.

Leave no edge left untouched.

()()()

Ichigo was quickly coming to find that all of his admirers had different kissing techniques-but neither was necessarily better than the one previous

'_**Just different. And different is good.'**_

()()()

Nnoitra found himself a bit disappointed when his pet started pulling away.

He was about to reach for the tangerine's arm when he was pushed back down on to the bed.

"Stay I'm not going anywhere." Ichigo grinned. "I'm just getting a bit more comfortable."

()()()

Ichigo took off his shirt and tossed it over the chair before crawling over to Nnoitra once more.

This time he made his way right for the other's male's drawstring pants. And gave it a light tug, pulling it down.

()()()

His pet's eyes had widened to a comical size.

"You're uh-wow um uh give me a minute."

()()()

Nnoitra wasn't even completely erect and Ichigo had already reached a conclusion-

'_**There is no way in hell I'll be able to wrap my mouth around that thing.'**_

It was long (probably well over 8 inches) and thick (he might not even be able to wrap a whole fist around it)

'_**Okay relax you can do this. You're setting the pace. Just start out slowly and-**_

"I can offer you a bit of advice if you'd like pet?"

"No uh I got this just um don't grab me or anything okay? It's not every day I-well technically I've never done this but-

Long arms reached around and squeezed his ass just then.

Ichigo let out an embarrassing squeak.

And then glared at Nnoitra

"That is not helping."

Nnoitra snickered. "Just trying to relax you a bit pet, you're always so tense all the time."

Ichigo frowned. "Why does everyone tell me that?"

He shook his head.

It didn't matter right now he was with Nnoitra.

'_**my first time performing oral service-right here goes.'**_

()()()

Peach pouty lips slowly peppered a trail of kisses from the base to the tip of Nnoitra's cock.

After a moment or two his pet grew a little bolder and a pink tongue darted out to lick the head-tasting a little bit of the precum.

()()()

Truthfully Ichigo wanted to kick himself.

His moves-if one could even call it that-felt sort of mechanical, practiced, not sexy at all.

'_**Stop thinking about it and just do it.'**_

So he opened his mouth as wide as he could, making sure to cover his teeth as he did so and started sucking on the head.

_**It seemed simple enough-a little weird and some what uncomfortable but not unpleasant**_

"Come on pet don't be shy, you can take more of me in your pretty mouth."

Honestly couldn't Nnoitra just let him do it his way?

Ichigo pulled off the throbbing organ and snarled at the dark haired male.

"Don't rush me I'm-mph!"

()()()

Nnoitra tried to be nice. Really he did but Ichi-pet was being beyond ridiculous.

_**A lovely mouth like that should be able to accept all that I have to offer.**_

So he lightly fisted tangerine locks and thrust more of his length inside said lovely little mouth.

He pulled out a bit when he noticed that his pet eyes were watering just a bit and apologized.

"I'm sorry about that pet. I guess you'll just have to teach me to control myself huh?"

Ichigo didn't answer (not that he could)

Nnoitra decided to shift his focus elsewhere.

'_**After all where's the fun in only one of us getting off?'**_

He slipped a hand inside the waistband of the Tangerine's shorts and gave that pretty little ass another squeeze before sneaking his index finger towards his pet's equally pretty hole.

()()()

Ichigo should've seen it coming.

Should have known that when fingers brushed against his behind Nnoitra was aiming for something in particular

But even knowing this-he wasn't quite prepared for a foreign object to go where no man has gone before-

()()()

"Don't tense up pet, just relax."

Ichigo pulled his mouth off of Nnoitra's cock

"Easy for you to say you're not the one with-

"I only have one finger in you Ichi, don't act like such a baby."

"I'm not acting like-

"Shh trust me concentrate on your task."

"Fine but go slower."

"Any slower and it'll be next week, pet."

Ichigo growled. "I don't have to do this you know you should be a-

"I do appreciate what you're doin' for me Ichigo-you have no idea now finish it!"

As Nnoitra redirected the tangerine's mouth to his cock-he introduced a second finger to his pet's tight hole.

'_**Almost unbelievably tight-if I don't do this properly I'll tear him.'**_

So some what reluctantly he separated himself from his pet.

()()()

Ichigo couldn't decide if he was relieved or disappointed.

But he let out a startled yelp when Nnoitra (sprained ankle and all) flipped their positions and pinned him to the ridiculously thin mattress.

The dark-haired male grinned down at him.

"Hmm I actually think I like this even more don't you pet?"

"Scoot over Nnoitra I wanna play with him too."

WTF?

"Kenpachi?"

()()()

(ICHIGO)

Three grown men in a tiny little hospital bed…

'_**There's no way in hell this can work' thought Ichigo**_

Apparently Kenpachi and Nnoitra were determined to prove the tangerine wrong.

Or rather this is what they had planned on doing until Starrk and Grimmjow appeared.

"What the fuck? Why the hell are all of you bastards in my hospital room?"

Nnoitra's screeching voice really wasn't all that pleasant to Ichigo's ears. But at the same time he had a point.

"Save your breath Jiruga, I had him first."

Ah Grimmjow-his Mr. Blue Abs-Ichigo still couldn't quite contain himself when he ran into the guy-

"I beg to differ Ichigo came to me of his own free will on the very first night when he arrived here."

Well Starrk was exaggerating a bit since Ichigo didn't come to him-it was more like the other way around still there was something about the Coyote-

"Who gives a shit if he came to you-he couldn't keep his eyes off me."

It was true. It was hard to focus when he fought Nnoitra on the roof. He couldn't wait to do it again.

"Yeah well if it wasn't for me he'd be lying in a puddle of his own blood."

Yes Kenpachi was technically his knight in shining gym shorts. The beast had single handedly knocked out the 4 guardians that had tried to drag Ichigo to some sort of spirit gates or whatever.

Ichigo hadn't paid much attention to the details when goat face had told him the story.

And truthfully he just didn't care.

'_**I feel a little guilty in a sense for constantly leading them on but I mean its only been a little over a week-what do they want from me?'**_

"Uh guys?"

The group turned to the tangerine haired male.

"Yes?"

"Uh well you see I'm not quite ready for the whole you know _sex _thing yet."

()()()

1 week later…

"Hi-I mean Ichigo-kun do you have a moment?"

"Sure Kira what's up?"

"Nothing is up exactly its just um are you seeing anyone?"

Ichigo wasn't really sure how to answer this question.

"Yes and no."

The blond blinked. "Um okay."

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "Uh Kira don't take this the wrong way or anything but-

The blond shook his head. "Say no more Ichigo-kun. I am not a relationship wrecker. I uh best of wishes to you and all that!"

"Wait Kira you don't un-

"It's fine Ichigo-kun or I guess I should call you Ichigo, well anyway I'll see you around. Perhaps you'll swing by the drama club during one of your free periods or something?"

"Sure."

"Great. See you then."

Ichigo shook his head as the blond walked away.

'_**I really don't get that guy.'**_

()()()

"I'm a selfish bastard and I take what I want when I want it."

"Same goes for me. And I will have you pet. All of you."

Kenpachi and Nnoitra glared at one another

Neither man backed down

They shook their heads and returned their attention to the tangerine that was currently cushioned in between them.

"The pussy cat and the puppy aren't good enough for you pet."

"Think about it if they were really that into you then they'd literally be _in_ you right now."

"Starrk and Grimmjow are just giving me some space."

Kenpachi and Nnoitra snorted in unison before glaring at each other again.

"Space? You don't need fuckin space Ichigo. You need sex!"

"Yes. And Lots Of it!"

"Look uh Kenpachi, Nnoitra I told you I'm not re-

"We'll make you ready."

Ichigo let out a groan.

"Look if you wanna try that blow job thing again fine but I'm not going to-

Lips, rough and warm, reminding Ichigo of grainy sand on the beach silenced his oncoming protest.

Ichigo moaned into the kiss.

And then fisted Kenpachi's spiky black locks in his fingers.

'_**Not as soft and silky as Nnoitra's but nice.'**_

()()()

(Nnoitra)

Although he wasn't particularly fond of the idea, this would be the first time that Nnoitra would attempt to share someone he desired with someone else.

There was a plus side though.

While his pet was being distracted by Kenpachi's mouth, Nnoitra could take the opportunity to properly prepare his pet for what was soon to come.

Last time he had attempted this things hadn't quite gone as he had hoped it would. It had started off well enough but-

'_**Well there's no sense in thinking about it now because this time around I have one of man and nature's greatest creations, lube.'**_

Nnoitra retrieved the tiny bottle from his pocket and quickly set to work

()()()

(Kenpachi)

He'd been quite patient all things considered.

Putting up with not one or two but three other men putting their grubby paws all over his tangerine.

And one of them (Nnoitra) was just as stubborn as Kenpachi himself was so there was really no other way around it.

'_**Doesn't matter though. Because I have Ichigo right now. Even though Nnoitra is in the room and I know what he's planning to do, Ichigo is completely focused on me right now.'**_

()()()

(Ichigo)

And Kenpachi was right because Ichigo was focused on him and him only.

He knew that Nnoitra hadn't left the room and was naturally curious as to what the other male was up to but at the same time wasn't all that concerned about it because it felt too damn good being as he was right now.

On his own terms once again, he had taken control of the kiss

'_**Although if I'm gonna be honest with myself, Kenpachi probably let me take control.'**_

Ichigo snorted inwardly and then pressed himself closer to the wild haired man. Distantly aware that his actions presented his ass to the air…or rather Nnoitra

Yes and even though he tried to protest to what they had planned he knew that there was a larger part of him that did want to follow through.

So he just let things play out

()()()

(Nnoitra)

If Nnoitra didn't know any better he'd say that the tangerine had purposely positioned him self that way (which was good) but at the same time the urge to spank his pet was there-

'_**Perhaps at a later point. Now I just want to do this-'**_

Nnoitra didn't rush or do things half ass. It wasn't his style. Once he had pulled his pet's pants down and around his ankles-he wasted little to no time in ripping off Ichi's briefs (which was a nice change from the usual boxers that the tangerine male tended to wear)

Flipped the cap on the bottle that was still in his hand and squeezed the lubricant into the palm of his hand.

This time because he had lube-he was going to start off right away with two fingers-

()()()

When Ichigo felt the tell tale signs of the familiar invasion he furrowed his brows and willed his body not to clamp up and just let the fingers work their way into his body.

Almost right off the bat he could tell that there was something different, he felt slicker-or rather Nnoitra's fingers did-

Ichigo felt like smirking

'_**Tricky bastard'**_

Instead he continued to focus his attention on Kenpachi-in addition to kissing him, the wild man had wrapped a large hand around Ichigo's rising erection and pumped it. Ichigo felt encouraged to do the same (even though he knew damn well that he would have to use both of his hands in order to jack off the beast.

'_**Which is just fine for me really.'**_

With this set in mind-he moved his fingers to the zipper on Kenpachi's pants and pulled out the thick organ (absentmindedly noting that the beast was slightly thicker than even Nnoitra himself.))

It dawned on Ichigo just then.

'_**If these bastards really expect to put these things inside my body then they damn well better to do it right.'**_

At these thoughts he pressed back a little against the two fingers that were still stretching his hole.

It was still uncomfortable but not unbearable.

Shortly after this a third finger started making its way in-Ichigo groaned and was very close to telling Nnoitra to fuckin' stop what he was doing but good ole' Kenpachi had recaptured his attention, moving his mouth away from Ichigo's own and clamping down on his neck, gnawing at it like an animal really but not actually breaking the skin. It was a good distraction but Ichigo needed more because he was still very much aware of the discomfort that the three fingers were giving him, so he pressed his body even closer into Kenpachi.

'_**It's almost like I'm subconsciously using him like a guard of some sort, my great protector.'**_

Ichigo couldn't decide if wincing would be better than whining-

'_**This is going to take some getting used to-no doubt about that.'**_

()()()

(Kenpachi)

He could read it from a mile away.

When Ichigo's entire body tensed up Kenpachi made it his goal to get the tangerine to relax himself once more-and perhaps he could have been a little gentler with his approach but at the same time-

'_**What I'm doing is necessary-distracting him with a different kind of pain so he won't stay so focused on what is happening to him from behind.'**_

Ichigo tasted fuckin' amazing. There was a distinct flavor that Kenpachi could pinpoint exactly but there was something sort of exotic and sweet there. And naturally Kenpachi wanted more-so once he left a lovable sized bite on the younger male's neck, he started shifting his focus to the rest of the tangerine's lithe body-making sure to pay extra special attention to peach caramel colored nipples-

And although the tangerine would probably deny it later-the evidence was now on Kenpachi's fingers, the shorter male had come right when he had closed his mouth around his left nipple.

'_**Ah pleasure spots-how I do love thee. And I'm going to have a freakin' ball discovering all of yours Ichigo.'**_

()()()

His pet was sexy when he came-first tensing up and then releasing.

And release he had-like a fuckin' porn star-there was a quite bit of the tangerine's cum everywhere-it had even gotten in the beasts hair.

Nnoitra sort of felt a little jealous just then but he quickly stamped the jealousy down for he'd be having his pet right where he wanted him very soon.

He had used the moment of his pet's orgasm to work a fourth finger into that still wonderfully tight hole.

()()()

Ichigo was not so far gone just yet that he couldn't register the pain-it wasn't a great amount but it was there-the urge to curse the bastard behind was rising up again.

He grit his teeth as a fourth finger continued making its way into the tightly confined little space.

Fingers gripped his hair

Bringing his head up.

Kenpachi wanted his attention again. Nay-demanded it!

"Focus on me. Forget about that idiot!"

Ichigo half glared at the beast. "Easy for you to urgh fuck!"

"Don't tense up pet, its almost there."

Nnoitra hadn't said anything until just then

"I'm going to kil-

Ichigo trailed off-

Something not entirely unexpected had happened just then but still it was a bit of a surprise-

Just as soon as it had come it went away

He snarled and then wanted to punch both men when they started laughing.

()()()

Okay so Nnoitra was teasing his pet but he could hardly be blamed-the tangerine was just so damn sexy when he was pissed off

'_**Still I can save the sadistic tendencies for a later date-its time to give my pet something nice.'**_

It wasn't even something to think about since Nnoitra considered himself the ruler/master of the human ass.

He would brush his fingers just over the spot and then give them a good nudge, enough to make his pet aware that yes the human prostate did in fact exist-

Then he would press a little more and add in a pinch or two for good measure-

Receiving sharp cries and moans as a reward.

And yes it was a reward-

For his pet was no weakling-getting the younger male to admit he wanted this-was a bit challenging

But not impossible

Nnoitra snickered.

'_**And we still haven't gotten all the way there yet.'**_

()()()

It was on a very rare occasion when Kenpachi felt a sense of jealousy come over him.

He knew it was stupid but-

'_**Damn it I wanna play with his sexy little behind too.'**_

Well there was no harm in multitasking

Kenpachi grinned and slowly moved a hand towards the tangerine's ass-gripping one of his fleshy perfect globes and-

()()()

Ichigo really wished the beast had just stay focused on playing with his chest instead of joining in on Nnoitra's perverted little act-

Although if he was going to be completely honest with himself he was quite enjoying all of it-especially when the fingers touched his prostate once more-

It was so damn cliché that it was almost sickeninig-but Ichigo was quickly getting to the point where he didn't care.

The pain was still there but it was a tolerable sort of pain-

'_**This is nothing because any minute now he's going to shove something much larger in me and-**_

()()()

Kenpachi may just have to spank Ichigo when this all came to a close because this was the third time that the tangerine had shot his cum in his hair.

He shouldn't care but truthfully it kind of irked him. Not that it was really Ichigo's fault but-

'_**I should make him lick it up later.'**_

()()()

Ichigo didn't have a great deal of control over his body much to his annoyance.

And it seemed the river of cum shooting from his organ was endless.

()()()

Nnoitra removed his fingers from his pet's ass and then pulled off his own pants, grabbed the bottle of lube, poured it into his palm and on his cock-making it nice and slick.

He then barked at the beast (not literally) to remove his own fingers and positioned himself at the glorious pretty pink hole.

()()()

Ichigo felt it-Nnoitra's monstrous length-it wasn't in him-more like a hovering, brushing against his anus-

He was so sure that any minute now Nnoitra would enter and send him flying forward into Kenpachi lap.

'_**Well perhaps not that clumsy but-'**_

"We're changing positions pet."

'_**Meaning what?' **_Ichigo wondered.

()()()

'_**There was one thing about rooming with a guy for the past 2 years' **_Kenpachi thought

Because all Nnoitra had to do was glance at him and Kenpachi knew what the taller male was planning.

Truthfully Kenpachi didn't know why he was agreeing since he felt that he should be the one to claim the tangerine's virginity. But he was a grown man, this wasn't some kind of fucking contest (no pun intended)

If Nnoitra wanted to be Ichigo's official first Kenpachi would not stop him.

But he damn sure wasn't all too happy about sitting back and watching.

So he climbed off the bed and walked out the door.

He'd give Nnoitra an hour or so and then he'd return and well…

'_**I'll fuck Ichigo all night long and until the sun comes up and even then I won't stop.'**_

()()()

Ichigo frowned.

Where the hell was Kenpachi going at a time like this?

There was a tongue at his ear. "Don't worry about him, pet he'll be back in awhile."

Ichigo felt like protesting but right as he opened his mouth Nnoitra gave him a hard smack on his ass.

"I told you he'd be back, now turn around and face me!"

Ichigo didn't appreciate being ordered around.

'_**What guy did?'**_

But at the same time he felt like smirking because

"Hey Nnoitra if I turn around right now will I catch you pouting."

He received another smack for his cheek.

Followed by a harsh bite on his ear lobe.

"You don't want to anger me pet, now turn."

And so with a cocky grin Ichigo complied with Nnoitra's order.

()()()

Nnoitra felt insulted and yes he was a tad bit sulky-here he was being all sweet and shit and all Ichi-pet could do was complain about the loss of Kenpachi.

'_**What the fuck am I? Second best?'**_

So he completely erased all thoughts of being the 'Sweet Lover' and resorted back to his usual style-snapping out demands and punishments-

It was almost as if his pet was enjoying toying with him.

A small part of Nnoitra was oddly amused by the idea-but the main part of him was irritated.

'_**No use in gettin' all fuckin' moody like some scorned bitch, I got my pet all to myself right now so I better make it fucking grand.'**_

"I want you to straddle me pet."

"Straddle?"

Ichi wasn't really playing clueless at this point in the game was he?

Nnoitra gave the perfect ass in his hands another harsh slap.

"Straddle me bitch!"

The tangerine glared at him. "Don't call me a bitch you bastard!"

Nnoitra grinned the time for talk was over-he lifted his pet up and slowly ( a damn snail was probably faster) lowered his pet onto his cock.

()()()

Ichigo tried to bite back the pain but even with all the prepping he still felt as though he was being stretched to an obscene amount

He was actually a bit impressed and found it rather endearing that Nnoitra was taking it nice and slow but still he felt like cursing and snarling and crying because-

"It fucking hurts."

"Listen pet if I took it any slower it would be the middle of next year."

"I don't appreciate your fucking sarcasm right now you-

"Shh your so much prettier when you don't snarl so much."

"Damn Nnoitra I swear to god I'm going to-

"Stop thinking about the pain and you won't feel it."

()()()

As Nnoitra said these words he pulled his pet down a few more inches.

He really needed to wipe that look of discomfort off his pet's face, really needed to wipe those tears in the corner of his pet's eyes-

But he also really WANTED to just get on with it and fuck his pet into oblivion.

'_**It's not the end of the fucking world-he'll learn to adjust to it.'**_

So with this final decision he grabbed the tangerine's all too perfect butt cheeks and pulled him the rest of the way down until Ichi-pet was seated in his lap.

()()()

It was official Ichigo was going to kill Nnoitra-he was going to start by ripping out the man's silky dark hair, plucking out his pretty mismatched eyes-ah fuck it he'd just snap the succulent man's neck and be done with it.

He felt like he was being tortured right now-which he knew was a bit of an exaggeration but still did Nnoitra have any idea of how much he-

"Pull out you bastard and I promise your death will be quick and virtually painless!"

Long fingers gripped Ichigo by his short hair and pulled his head down for a sweet kiss-

()()()

Yes he was trying the sweet card again-maybe because he enjoyed confusing his pet-or maybe because being with his pet inspired his more humane side-Nnoitra didn't really know nor did he really care but he figured that by kissing his pet he could get the tangerine to relax again and then finally, finally be able to move.

Not that he could complain too much since despite his looks of agony and the back and forth switch between glaring and pouting, the teary eyes shifting to murderous eyes-

'_**MY pet is rather violent isn't he?'**_

Nnoitra smirked against the mouth he was kissing.

'_**Ah just think I'm only 21 and I've already met my ideal match.'**_

()()()

20 minutes later…

Nnoitra had switched the positions once again but if Ichigo was going to be honest with him self he did prefer it this way-

Having a warm body pressed against him felt natural-better than natural-face to face-chest to chest-or well close it anyway-

As it was-

"Ready for me pet?"

"Yeah alright you can move but I swear to god if you start pounding into me I'll kill you in your sleep."

"Sure, pet sure."

He seriously couldn't decide if he wanted to kiss that damn grin off Nnoitra's face or smack it-

'_**Tough Call.'**_

On the plus side his body had adjusted pretty well-

'_**Considering I was practically sitting/lying there with his cock in me for the last 20 minutes-I suppose that's to be expected.'**_

()()()

The urge to just pound the tangerine was still there but Nnoitra pushed it aside for the moment and just continued with the slow and steady pace-being inside his pet-nothing could properly describe

'_**It's like my dick is wrapped up in a warm and tight cocoon.'**_

Or something of that nature-

()()()

Ichigo appreciated that Nnoitra kept his promise and didn't pound into him with out a care-he appreciated the back and fourth switch between slow pumps and shallow thrusting

It was only an extra-added bonus when Nnoitra grabbed his flaccid organ and pumped it back to life, eventually developing an even tempo.

"You're rather artistic you know."

()()()

Nnoitra was a bit lost in the slow grinding that it took him a few minutes to register that his pet had just said something to him.

"What's that pet?"

Ichigo shook his head "Forget it, it's not important."

Nnoitra didn't appreciate that. So he punished his pet by speeding up both his thrusts and his pumps-

And received a harsh cry, a punch in the arm and an angry snarl.

All in that order.

"Bastard."

"Well actually pet I come from a family of two mothers and I'm not even fully human."

Cinnamon and coffee eyes shot wide in surprise-whether or not it was from his comment or the orgasm, Nnoitra really couldn't say.

Nor did he really care.

"Stick around and I'll tell you about it sometime pet."

()()()

At sunrise….

"I've come to collect you Ichigo."

While this was not entirely unexpected it seemed a bit out of character and what was up with-

"Uh Kenpachi what's with the costume?"

The beast was dressed in a sailor suit with the matching hat and all-it was odd but kind of sexy at the same time-

'_**Hmm wonder if he'd ever be willing to fulfill my kilt fantasy.'**_

Ichigo found himself smirking at his inner thoughts.

'Maybe I'll ask for it on my birthday or something for now-'

Well truthfully he didn't want to leave Nnoitra's bed. It was so warm but at the same time-

"Ay Ay Captain!"

He brushed his lips against a sleeping Nnoitra's forehead and followed Kenpachi out of the bedroom-or at least that is what he wished to do it was rather challenging to-

"Hey put me dow-

"Don't even try it Ichigo. You can't even walk right now and by the time I'm done with you, you probably won't be able to walk until next month."

Kenpachi kicked open the door-which was truthfully unnecessary and carried his tangerine out of the bedroom and into the tiny kitchen.

"Forget it Kenpachi! My ass is still fuckin' sore I'm not letting you take me on such a hard surface."

Deep green-gray eyes glittered. "Tempting as that is Ichigo-I'm just grabbing a few things from the kitchen. I don't plan to fuck you in here."

Ichigo furrowed his brows. "Then where ar-?

Kenpachi set the tangerine on one of the stools and then rummaged in the refrigerator for some necessary items-mainly sour cream and cucumbers-?

On his way out the beast grabbed a large bottle of extra virgin olive oil before scooping the tangerine up once more.

Ichigo was rather impressed that the man could carry him with one arm but at the same time-

'_**As if I'd really expect any less.'**_

()()()

The roof?

Tch yeah like that was a soft surface.

"Kenpachi what the hell I don't want to have sex on the-

But the man wasn't making any attempts to remove his clothes-nor Ichigo's-rather he was shifting into a fighting stance of some sort.

The basket full of goodies from the kitchen had been set to the side.

The beast wore a wild grin-insane really and-

"Kenpachi what are y-

"Did you honestly think you could escape with out fighting me Ichigo. Come at me!"

"Kenpachi I'm not in any mood to f-

"First we fight and then we fuck. Those are the rules. Don't hold back Ichigo. Now come!" 

Ichigo wasn't sure what hurt more his ass or the sides of his temples.

"Can't we do this like next week or something I mean-

"Don't make me repeat myself again Ichigo-put up your fists and fight me-

"Kenpachi I really-

Without much warning the beast charged for him-Ichigo had ducked out of the way just in time but he soon came to find that even though he did-some how some way Kenpachi had managed to nick the side of his neck-

'_**Brass knuckles? WTF? Isn't that a tad bit-**_

He caught another glimpse of the shiny weapon and ducked again.

Ichigo distanced himself from the beast a bit-hoping he could talk some sense into the man.

"Kenpachi look I really don't want t-

This time there was pain in his ear-not an extreme amount but-

"The next one will be your shoulder Ichigo. So get it together and become the fighter that I saw that night on the roof with Nnoitra.

Ichigo rolled his eyes.

'_**Arggg so that is what all this is about. Fuck me!'**_

()()()

Leave it to the beast to prepare a picnic on the roof tops.

And leave it to the beast to spread Ichigo out on the picnic blanket like he was the fucking feast.

Leave it to the beast to-

"What the fuck do you think you're doing with that cucumber Kenpachi?"

The beast smirked.

Ichigo raised his sore arms over his head and tried to back away from the beast and his evil cucumber.

Kenpachi laughed like a maniac just then.

Ichigo lifted his arms off his face and sweat dropped at the sight of-

The beast had tied an apron around his sailor pants, had a pairing knife in one hand the cucumber in the other.

"You're taking commercial cooking?"

()()()

It was fun teasing the tangerine.

While Kenpachi might consider getting kinky with food some where down the line with Ichigo-that was not his goal today.

He finished peeling and dicing the cucumber and then pressed one up to the tangerine's slightly swollen mouth.

He felt a little guilty about injuring Ichigo's pretty mouth but-

"Eat up Ichigo and then I'll eat you."

Ichigo snorted and opened his mouth.

()()()

It was corny but sweet.

And who would've guessed that a guy like Kenpachi could be such a sweet and romantic guy underneath that cavemen like appearance.

Ichigo full on grinned as the beast offered him another piece of the cucumber.

He then nipped at the palm that had presented the food to him.

Kenpachi seemed to enjoy that.

"Hungry today are you Ichigo?"

With these words the spiky haired man dropped his pants and pressed his swollen cock up to the tangerine's equally swollen mouth "Eat to your hearts content Ichigo."

()()()

And eat Ichigo did.

While it was still a bit challenging-it was kind of fun at the same time.

Ichigo was sort of challenging himself now-seeing just how much of the beasts length he could take into his mouth with out tearing at the eyes or choking-

He started off with small licks much like the first time he attempted this but then tried something a little different, swirled his tongue around the other man's engorged flesh and marveled at the taste-it was-he wasn't sure but he kind of wanted more-

'_**I believe that between Kenpachi and Nnoitra-they've turned me into some kind of wanton monster.'**_

()()()

The tangerine already had a some what of a natural skill-his efforts alone was enough to get Kenpachi off-but that sinful little peach tongue-

Kenpachi was so tempted to shove more of himself into that hot little mouth but he let tangerine continue on as he pleased-

'_**Besides why the fuck would I complain about something like this.'**_

()()()

Ichigo knew he could swallow all that Kenpachi had to offer but he kind of wanted to-

"Spray it on my body."

The beast seemed to consider the tangerine's words for all of two seconds-

"As you wish Ichigo."

()()()

The beast was worse than Ichigo himself. He had cum over and over-the tangerine was almost completely covered in cum and yet-

"You're still rock hard?"

Kenpachi grinned.

"On your knees Ichigo!"

More snapping commands.

'_**One of these I'm going to-**_

"NOW!"

'_**Well its not like I didn't have several opportunities to back out of this.'**_

So Ichigo got down on his knees and crawled on to the picnic blanket.

And waited for the beast to make his next move.

()()()

'_**Such a cooperative tangerine.'**_

"From this moment on you are to call me Captain."

He heard the tangerine snort.

"Ay Ay Captain!"

Kenpachi grinned and enveloped the tangerine from behind-just resting his chest against Ichigo's back for a few minutes. Giving those lovely nipples a few tweaks and pinches.

"Kenpachi don't do that!"

The tangerine was too damn beautiful when he whined.

The beast ignored the tangerine's protest and kissed the back of Ichigo's hair line as he gave the younger man's nipples another good squeeze or two-or three-

"Kenpa-CHI!"

Ah the sight of the tangerine's cum spilling on the blanket was a lovely sight indeed.

"Don't complain Ichigo. Cumming is good for you. You're too damn tense all the time."

With these words large hands gripped the dripping organ and jerked it hard-

The tangerine squealed and then cursed. "You bastard!"

Kenpachi ignored the cursing tangerine and grabbed the olive oil.

Okay so technically he was using one of the kitchen items-but that was only because olive oil was so much sexier than standard lube-

He parted those tasty butt cheeks with his large hands and poured half the bottle on and inside it. Still ignoring the cursing tangerine-Kenpachi inserted three fingers into the younger man's ass and marveled at both the feel and the sight-he was beyond pleased that all though it had been stretched and thoroughly fucked-it was still unbelievable warm and tight-

Ichigo whined and moaned and clawed at the blanket.

He was still sensitive and sore (as was expected) but at the same time he kind of (more like really) wanted more-

He wanted more-NEEDED MORE

()()()

It didn't even take much. Ichigo was now riding his fingers.

Kenpachi couldn't stop grinning, he added another finger and pressed hard on the tangerine's prostate-relishing in the sexy cry that tore from Ichigo's mouth.

'_**That was the loudest one so far. And I'm not even in him yet.'**_

()()()

The term 'hurts so good' was starting to make a lot of sense to Ichigo.

When Kenpachi had finally entered him-he really had felt like he'd been split or torn-but at the same time he felt almost ridiculously warm-

'_**And its not the fuckin' sunlight and sweat pouring off our bodies either.'**_

()()()

A week later…

"Really pet I could fuckin' hear you from all the way across the fuckin' campus."

"You should've seen the way his ass was shaking at one point."

Ichigo was turning a furious shade of red "BASTARDS! I can't help it if-

"Shh pet this is a good thing."

"A very good thing."

Ichigo furrowed his brows.

He looked between Kenpachi and Nnoitra.

They were in his dorm room this time.

Starrk was asleep in his own bed (much like always)

"What the hell are you to talking about?"

"Well its really quite simple pet."

"Now that you're body has adjusted, its time to move on to the next step."

"The more exciting step."

Both men looked insane at that moment, eyes growing dark with lust and perverted intent, grins wide and-

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"We're going to fuck you at the same time."

"Yep. Won't that be fun pet?"

Ichigo's brows disappeared into his hair line.

He back flipped off the bed and out the window- (where there just happened to be a convenient rope made out of bed sheets) and ran…

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. NEVER!"

**FIN**


	7. PANTIE PLATFORM

_**SHOT #7**_

_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN SEXY SEME ESPADAS OR UKE-LICIOUS BERRIES._

A/N remember Pantie Platform? Well welcome to the fleshed out edition. Let's see what you think.

New dedication: To Totoromo…I sort of felt inspired to flesh this fic out since I started reading her demonology story.

Summary: _There's a myth that if you stand inside the Ryoka train station, Pantie Platform will appear._

_AU, OOC-ness, GrimmIchi_

_PANTIE PLATFORM_

_**PAST**_

"_It is the actor's duty to capture the heart of the audience. Each and every line must be exact-perfected down to the very last T. _

_The audience should be left gasping, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the appropriate moments. The laughter and cries are the greatest compliments an actor can receive._

_If you cannot capture and hold your audience then you have no place here at Vizard U. Ichigo and Muramasa you're up first."_

The actors take their place on the stage. The first male is pale skinned with dark hair and darker eyes. The second male has skin like a ripened peach with bright hair and eyes.

The role that they are to play is that of lovers.

"You can't leave me."

"I'll be back before you can say 'Did you miss me?"

"No you won't. You're going to go away and forget all about me."

_Early stages of insanity twitching in his brain, shining in his eyes_

"I can't have that, I can't."

"STOP!"

Kurosaki Ichigo lets out a frustrated growl. Once-just once he wished they could get through one damn day of rehearsal with out having to hear Urahara yell 'STOP' before they barely even started.

The orange haired youth angrily ripped off his wig as he demanded to know-

"What the hell is the problem now?"

The man-correction the director-Urahara Kisuke snaps his fan shut. "The problem, dear Kurosaki-kun is that you are completely lacking emotion."

Well if that wasn't the biggest load of cock and bull Ichigo had ever heard-

"What the hell are you talking a-mph!"

"Forgive us Urahara-san, we'll be sure to get it right this time."

Damn Muramasa. Even though the guy was at least 2 years older than him, the dark haired male was such a major kiss ass.

Ichigo didn't know why the hell he even bothered.

Or for that matter why the hell he had decided to give acting a shot in the first place.

'_For Kaa-san,' the youth reminded himself. 'This is for Kaa-san.'_

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**It was raining-well not cats and dogs-since that kind of scenario only happened in cheesy cartoons and the like-but it was raining pretty damn hard nonetheless.**_

_**Cinnamon and coffee brown eyes watched the figure running across the grass and making there way towards the very same building he himself was sitting inside.**_

_**Ichigo let out a sigh.**_

'_**Only Keigo and me again huh?' The orange haired youth glanced at the clock on the wall 'Well it is after 9pm, maybe everyone else went to bed.'**_

_**The sound of hurried footsteps and then the door swung open revealing a brown haired male who looked like he had gotten into a wrestling match with the mud-caked all over-it was clear that mud had won.**_

"_**Ichigooooo!"**_

_**Because this has happened numerous times within the last few weeks Ichigo knew to toss a towel to his friend. He always kept a spare in his bag because he knew how forgetful the brunet tended to be at times.**_

"_**Yo Keigo! Take it you scared the girls' off with your horrible haircut yet again huh?"**_

_**Asano Keigo let out an indignant squawk. "Why you-Ichigooooo."**_

_**Ichigo laughed. "Let's get started Keigo."**_

_**()()()**_

_**The two friends entered the graveyard in their stockings rather than their shoes-figuring it would be easier to cover up their tracks once they had done what they came to do.**_

_**Indeed dipping into things better left untouched-playing or taunting the unknown forces probably was not the wisest thing to do but these bastards had taken his mother and although he could never have her back (her body was ice cold and she rested in the cold earth now-while her soul made it's way to the gates of paradise-) he wanted-not revenge necessarily-but an answer or closure of some sort.**_

_**()()()**_

_**Earlier in the week Keigo had found a set of magic and paranormal books while rummaging through his sisters room and decided to show them to Ichigo-**_

"_**There's no guarantee any of these spells or chants or whatever will work but I know how much you miss your mother man so I figured-**_

"_**It's great Keigo." Ichigo picked up one of the books and flipped the first few pages. "Hmm this one here seems simple enough but we need a full circle-**_

"_**Leave that to me. By the Friday I'll round up an entire group-not just big enough to complete a circle but-**_

"_**No just 4 will do."**_

_**The brunet laughed. "Four, yeah sure I can do that!"**_

_**()()()**_

"_**All we needed was four." Ichigo muttered under his breath.**_

"_**I'm sorry Ichigo, please don't be mad at me!"**_

_**Ichigo knocked Keigo over the head with his fist. "Don't be stupid! I'm not mad just-the orange haired male stood up-**_

"_**There's got to be away to get through to the others-make them believe that things exist outside of this world-Ichigo curled his fist "Maybe we've been going about this all wrong-maybe we need to put our selves in the 'paranormal univers'e-maybe I need to become-**_

_**Keigo looked positively horrified at the orange haired male's words- "You're talking crazy Ichigo, snap out of it!"**_

"_**No I'm not. I think-yeah I think I finally have a way to get people to take me seriously."**_

_**()()()**_

"_**Enrolling in Vizard U-but Ichigo that's one of the top schools in the country and even though your smart and stuff man you're not an actor-hell you didn't even like being the dancing mushroom during our play in 3**__**rd**__** grade what makes you think you can-**_

"_**How hard can it be?" Ichigo shook his head realizing how arrogant he sounded just now "Look even if it is hard it doesn't matter-I won't rest until the world wakes up!"**_

"_**But I don't get it even if you could get in what does dressing up in frilly robes and tights have to do with making people believe in the paranormal?"**_

"_**Don't you get it Keigo? This isn't about robes or tights-this is about becoming someone else-whether it be a knight, prince, bar maid whichever-**_

_**Keigo shook his head. "I still don't get it."**_

"_**Creating a club wasn't good enough-I need to take it one step further and-**_

_**Keigo cut the orange haired male off again. "But you haven't even graduated from high school yet what makes you think-**_

"_**No worries Keigo I had goat face pull a couple of strings-I can continue my high school courses on line while at the same time I hone my acting abilities here at Vizard U."**_

()()()

Ichigo snapped out of his memories at the sound of the bell ringing.

"Two years," a sigh "I've let my hair grow out, changed my address and-

"Tonight is the night then Kurosaki-kun?"

There were many irritating things about Urahara but the one at the top of the list was the man's tendency to eavesdrop when Ichigo was in the middle of a conversation-well granted he was talking to himself but-

"Can I borrow your white Gogo boots?"

()()()

Keigo was acting like a twitchy squirrel and it was driving Ichigo a little crazy-

"Keigo stop doing that!"

"Well I'm sorry man but do you realize how much trouble we can get into if we're discovered?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "No one is going to discover us-we're wearing costumes remember?"

"It's not enough-I'm telling you man someone is going to-

"Look Keigo you're the one who said you wanted to help me out with this experiment."

"I know man but a train station-couldn't you have picked like a theme park or something?"

"Not dark enough."

"Not dark enough-it's the middle of the night everything is dark enou-

"Shh!"

"What made you want to try this out in a train station anyway?"

Ichigo stopped walking and studied the fence before him.

No one was allowed inside the station after the late hours except for the security guard.

The orange haired male smirked when he saw a shadow with a flash light making his rounds.

The man would be the ideal first target.

"Ichigo where are you going man?" Keigo voice was a whisper (thankfully it seemed the brown haired youth had finally got the hint to lower his voice)

()()()

Probably wasn't the wisest choice he had ever made-but he wasn't being Ichigo right now he was being a ghost-even came up with a name for 'her' too.

Even though the security guard had silver blond hair he was much younger than Ichigo had expected.

'_Which is probably a good thing in a way I mean I'd feel a little guilty if I gave him a stroke or heart attack or something'_

The man's eyes were glued to the tiny tv screen and his feet were propped up on an overcrowded desk as he shoved a hand ful of chips in his mouth.

Yes so very in his own world-that it would be very easy for Ichigo to sneak up on him and-

"Gah!"

Both the man and the chips went flying.

Ichigo covered his mouth with a snicker.

"Whose there?"

Ichigo said nothing. Just used the opportunity while the officer was righting his chair and picking up his bag of spilled chips to slip out the door he had come from.

'_Though that was almost too easy hmm I wonder if I should introduce myself next time.'_

"ICHIGOOOOOO!"

'_Shit. Keigo what did that idiot do now?"_

_()()()_

Ichigo came upon the scene to find his brunet friend being manhandled by-

It would almost be amusing since the sandy blond that had taken hold of Keigo was rather girly looking and the other one-well okay he was someone to be nervous about-that grin alone was enough to-

"Bastard! Let go of me!" Keigo snarled as he thrashed against his captors hold.

Thug one laughed while thug two took notice of Ichigo.

"What do we have here? A little strawberry accomplice?"

Ichigo didn't appreciate being called strawberry anything but more so then that he wondered who the hell these guys were and why they had come to a damn train station when they could be robbing convenience stores or hot-wiring cars or something?

Thug two walked towards the orange haired male and Ichigo took the opportunity to properly study the guys face.

Well over 6 feet-closer to 7-towering, long and lanky body, black hair, dressed in a high collar jacket and skinny black jeans. Long bony fingers reached out and touched a lock of his hair "What's your name pet?"

"Hey! What's going on over there?"

At the call Ichigo took the opportunity to knock the guy off balance, quickly socked the sandy blond in the face and then grabbed Keigo and ran.

()()()

The two friends opted to go into a 24 diner instead of heading home so they could discuss what happened and try to figure out-

"Who the hell were those guys? I thought you said no one comes to Ryoka station after the sun goes down."

Ichigo poured strawberry syrup over his cheese blintzes before answering his friend, "I don't know what they were doing there but I do know one thing," a pause so he could take the first bite out of his meal "We need to go back."

Keigo nearly choked on his orange juice. "What do you mean go back? You're crazy I'm not going back there. Don't even know why I came along in the first place-what does dressing up like ghost chicks have to do with-I mean how is that going to solve-I mean did you see the way they were looking at-and you-what was up with that little show?"

Ichigo raised a brow. "What the hell are you talking about Keigo?"

The brunet started waving his arms wildly. "That whole sashay thing and those eyes-you were batting your fucking lashes man-what did you like that spindly dentures freak or something?"

"Uh Keigo I have no idea what gave you that idea. I was just sticking with the plan? Making sure our cover didn't get blown."

Keigo didn't buy it for a minute. "Whatever. You were totally crushing on that guy man, it was like-a shudder-it was like watching one of my sister's stupid dramas or whatever-

Ichigo flushed a bit pink. "Shut up! I was just-

"Yeah, yeah okay Ichigo look if you want to run back and be with Mr. Spindly then go ahead but I'm staying right here."

"Don't be stupid Keigo. I'm not going back-

"Good, good I knew you'd come to your sen-

"I'll give it a week. Maybe even wear less this time."

"Ichigo you're already half nude."

"No-Pantie Platform is half nude."

"Whatever. Look if you get caught they'll haul your ass off to jail for sure."

"I'm not going to get caught, Keigo."

"But Ichigo-

Ichigo shook his head. His mind was made up. "I'm going back but instead of trying to scare them I'm going to try to bring them on my side."

Keigo furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

Ichigo took a few more bites out of his meal before wiping his mouth with a napkin. "How do all great myths and legends start?"

Keigo still looked confused.

"From personal experience. See I figure I'll go back and talk to the security guard-he's already freaked out so it shouldn't be that difficult to get him to play along. Then if I run into those other guys again I'll strike a deal with them, something like cash in exchange for their advertising my existence."

"Advertising your existence. Ichigo what the hell are you saying? You're live and in the flesh man!"

"Ah but Pantie Platform isn't." The orange haired male grinned.

"Pantie Platform?"

"The idea came to me quite out of the blue actually and it has a nice ring to it doesn't?"

()()()

_**PRESENT**_

1 year later…

"_It wasn't a natural illness that ripped my mother away from me. It had nothing to do with an illness at all. My mother was stripped away from this planet by creatures, spirits or demons if you will from another realm. They haunted her day and night and she told me what they had planned in store for her. But I didn't believe until it was too late_- dimmed cinnamon and coffee eyes lit up with determination, the owner's voice was filled with conviction as he said his next line _"This can not happen again. I made a vow to myself that I would never ignore a cry for help again."_

_()()_

-And that is why we gather-

"Give me a fuckin' break! You expect me to believe that some random guy just happened to have an encounter with the undead x-plus years ago and now we have to go worship some shrine inside the old Ryoka Station."

"Language, Grimmjow-kun. And it was exactly one year ago. In fact he sat in the very same row that you yourself now sit in."

Grimmjow Jaegerjaques rose up from out his chair and flipped the bird at his teacher.

Deep brown eyes narrowed at the disrespectful youth. "You've just earned yourself a detention. Now sit down."

"Or else what?" Grimmjow snarled at the older man.

"Watch your tone."

Grimmjow scoffed. Aizen fucking Sousuke did not scare him.

"Whatever you say _sensei_," a nasty grin "I'll be sure to swing by later and clap your erasers or stick em' up your ass or whatever it is you like to do with em."

The rest of Grimmjow's classmates predictably 'Oooh-ed' at his comment, waiting on the edge of their seats for what Aizen-sensei would do next.

"You've just earned yourself another detention plus you're off the team."

"Fuck you old man! You can't kick me off my own damn team."

The brown haired man smiled. "I just did."

Grimmjow knocked over his desk and then left the classroom.

Completely ignoring the shouts from some of his classmates-they were more like subordinates really-to come back!

()()()

It was bullshit all of it! Utterly ridiculous. What the hell kind of respectable sports team gathers inside a classroom anyway? And for that matter what the hell kind of respectable sports team takes 20 minutes out of a 45 minute practice in order to discuss stupid and pointless things like the supernatural and the paranormal?

The blue haired male was still grumbling as he made his way to his next class.

()()()

Unfortunately for Grimmjow heading to his next class didn't really change much-for it seemed no matter where he went everyone was talking about the stupid shrine inside the old station.

Only there was an extra addition added to it by the time 6th period rolled around.

Ah study hall…

Also known as the infamous gossip hour here at Sonido High.

Grimmjow wasn't the type of guy to eavesdrop on someone else's conversation. As if he gave a damn about what the rest of the student body had to say.

But then the words 'Panties' And 'Half-naked Chick' caught his attention and the blue haired male decided that maybe he should find out the whole story.

So he pulled up a chair and invited himself into the conversation-not caring if it was rude-they were running their mouths loud enough to wake the damn dead might as well share it with everyone in the room.

"So what are we talking about here?" He picked up a bright orange feather which was resting innocently on the desk and examined it "Mystical creatures or some such thing?"

"Give me that back."

The lazy drawl from one Coyote Starrk. AKA Grade A Narcoleptic. Slate eyes were narrowed as the goateed senior held out his hand for the feather.

As if Grimmjow was going to hand it over that easily.

He grinned at the wavy haired male "First tell me what we're talking about. I heard something about a half naked chick and Panties."

Starrk let out a sigh and started telling his tale once more much to the annoyance of the students who had already heard the beginning-

"There's a myth."

"A myth?"

Starrk narrowed his eyes at the blue haired male. "You either want to hear the story or you don't?"

Grimmjow gave Starrk back his stupid feather and motioned for the other male to continue-

"There's a myth that if you stand inside Ryoka station, she'll appear."

"Who?"

"Pantie Platform."

"Who the hell is that?"

"She's the ghost that died inside that station. They say she won't harm you, she'll just rip your clothes off."

"Let me get this straight. You're tellin' me that inside the Ryoka station there's some kinky ghost chick who'll rip off my clothes?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

Starrk wasn't the kind of guy to lie. It wasn't his style.

Still Grimmjow couldn't help but be a tad bit skeptical.

After all he'd lived in Karakura for well over 6 years now and he had never heard about some ghost chick that haunted train stations.

"It's true. They even had an article about it." Starrk turned the page in his novel "What a shame, dying at 15."

"So she's not even a real woman then?"

"On the contrary. According to the legend, she had this beautiful mane of red-orange hair like that of phoenix and these eyes—eyes that'll melt the heart of the coldest bastard alive.

The goateed senior sounded dreamy and wistful.

Almost as though he had met her—or thought about the Pantie Platform quite a bit.

"Heh, so why do they call her Pantie Platform then?"

"No one really knows her real name. They just know that every day 4 minutes after 10:00pm, she would stand there on the platform wearing nothing but panties.

"What no bra?"

"Nope."

"Tch yeah right, now I know you're fucking with me. There's no way some hot piece of ass can just stand inside a train station half naked."

Starrk shrugged and turned the next page in his novel "Think what you want or better yet when you get some free time, go check it out."

Grimmjow grinned at the thought of some half naked ghost chick.

Chicks were chicks after all.

"Maybe I will."

()()()

Starrk waited for the blue haired male to get up and leave(-not that he was surprised-Grimmjow hardly ever stuck around for class-even when it was study hall-)and slipped his tiny cell phone out from under his sleeve and sent a text message out.

**I THINK IT WORKED!**

()()()

Grimmjow walked through the halls like a King would walk around his palace-like he owned the place-

"Grimm wait up man!"

"Yeah Grimm where you goin?"

As a good and respectable King, he would wait for his royal subjects to catch up before resuming his pace.

He still had 3 more classes to attend to but figured 'fuck it' he didn't need it anyway-Grimmjow had better things to do-

'_Like camp out at the Ryoka station and see if I can catch of glimpse of this Pantie chick.'_

The sound of hurried footsteps and a flash of white and sandy blond.

"What's your rush Grimmjow-sama? You usually hate art class."

All his other subordinates knew to stay at least 3 paces behind him but not Tesla-Tesla was a-

The over enthusiastic sandy blond practically lived up his ass and Grimmjow still wasn't sure how it happened.

Last year Tesla wouldn't dare distance himself from his beloved 'Nnoitra-sama'

Grimmjow's lip curled at the thought of his former rival. Guy thought he was too good for school-decided to drop out and become a fuckin' mechanic-only Nnoitra didn't become a mechanic the bastard had become the assistant manager at _**Yasutora Auto Parts**_

But that wasn't really the fucking point.

"I'm not going to art class dumb ass."

"Oh really? Then where are you going?" The blond asked.

"Gonna go see if the myth is true."

"Myth?"

"The one about that Pantie Platform chick who haunts Ryoka station."

"Really Jaegerjaques if you're going to tell the story at least tell it correctly."

The nasally condescending tone-which could only belong to one Ishida Uryu. Student class president and Home Eco Geek.

Not that Grimmjow would admit it to anyone but himself but it was really kind of creepy how the guy always appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

He turned to sneer at the blue-black haired teen. "You know so damn much about her you tell it then."

Ishida pushed his designer glasses higher up onto his nose "Know so much about him actually," he corrected. "And yes I know who Pantie Platform is."

Grimmjow blinked. "Wait! Back up him?"

"Mm hmm they say he was a drama major, often played chick roles because of his curvy hips."

"What? So you're sayin' Pantie Platform is really a guy in drag?"

"Pretty much but ah he was said to be so beautiful in both forms that he never had to worry about being treated like an outcast."

Ishida was fucking swooning as he continued on

"They said he was on his way to real stardom, a bright gem almost as bright as his neon orange hair. They say he constantly had a scowl on his face but it only added to his beauty. Some say he wasn't even from this world."

Grimmjow considered Ishida's words for a minute or two-

Fully intending on asking another question but the other male was already walking away.

()()()

When Ishida turned the corner he flipped open his phone and speed dialed a number. Slipping into an empty class room before placing the phone to his ear and saying "**Yep it's official. You got another one coming your way." **

()()()

Curse his rotten luck!

But the only good thing about having a former rival who worked at an auto shop…free tune-ups.

Why Grimmjow agreed to let Tesla tag along he honestly couldn't say-brief bout of insanity maybe?

The sandy blond was currently jumping up and down like a kid who had consumed way too much damn sugar.

"I'd sure like to meet him."

"Meet who?"

"Yasutora so this is where you've been hiding you shaggy haired bastard?"

Sado Yasutora was a former classmate of Grimmjow's. The guy had dropped out of school shortly after Nnoitra but at least he had a good excuse-the auto shop was owned by his uncle who had fallen ill-

"I know who my father was so I can't possibly be a bastard, Grimmjow."

Ah that was Yasutora all over-taking everything so literally. Grimmjow wanted to laugh but instead-

"We're talking about Pantie Platform-heard of-

"Oh the shape shifter."

"Shape shifter?"

"Yes they say Pantie Platform wasn't a human but an animal with a bright orange fur, said it had the prettiest cinnamon toast eyes. It would sometimes take on a human like form in order to protect it self."

"Protect it self from what?"

"Pigeons of course."

"Pigeons?"

"Anyway she, he, it I'm going to go to Ryoka station and see this Pantie Platform. Any one want to come along?"

Grimmjow was addressing all of the employees in the auto shop.

The cue ball spray painting a cartoon bat on one of the cars looked up "I'd like to but my girlfriend is dropping by, gotta get home and clean up the place."

No skin off Grimmjow's back. He never cared too much for Madarame Ikkaku anyway.

"Suit yourself. Hey Abarai you're not doing anything, wanna come along and meet the half naked ghost chick?"

"No. No and No. I won't mess with the paranormal."

Abarai Renji was always such a scaredy cat. It was a wonder he had been bold enough to get those tattoos all over his entire body.

()()()

Nnoitra watched and listened before he made his move. After all he couldn't just rush out there-he had to make it as believable as possible.

'_**Ah the things I do for Ichi-pet. He's lucky he's so damn sexy or else I swear I would've called this 'myth' crap off a long time ago.'**_

()()()

"What the hell is this the fuckin tea and crumpet hour? Get back to work before I find a reason to fire your ass!"

Grimmjow turned at the new arrival.

"Jiruga, just the bastard I wanted to see. So what do you say to a little ghost hunting adventure?"

"What the fuck are ya babblin' about pussy cat? And you Tesla, what the fuck are ya doin' trailin' after him?"

"Well you told me to leave you alone Nnoitra-sama so I just-

"Shut up and get your ass over here!"

The sandy blond obediently obeyed and Nnoitra snickered inwardly_. '__**Just like we practiced.'**_

"Now then what the hell is all this ghost adventure shit?"

"We're talking about Pantie Platform Nnoitra-sama."

"Pantie Platform eh? The one with the tail?"

"Tail?"

Grimmjow's interest had peeked once more. "Yeah that's the one, so you comin' or what Jiruga?"

"Hmm, maybe what time?" Nnoitra asked as he continued on with his little performance.

"Well they say she appears some time after 10 but I figure she'll still be there at 11."

'_**Hmm better tell Ichi-pet to stick around a lil' longer than normal.'**_

"Is that right? Well I'll give it some thought but for now get your happy ass out of my shop I have work to do."

Grimmjow grinned. "See you then."

()()()

But in the end Nnoitra didn't show-instead he sent the sandy blond in his place.

"Nnoitra-sama is going to be so sorry he missed this," the blond grinned, "Luckily I brought my camera."

Grimmjow wasn't even paying attention to Tesla, he was scouting the station-hoping he'd catch even the slightest glimpse of Pantie Platform.

And then he spotted her-or him-or it!

()()()

'_**Bastards I told them that I didn't want to do this anymore.'**_

Kurosaki Ichigo cursed under his breath as he tried not to freeze his ass off as he waited for his latest fan to arrive.

The idea of Pantie Platform had long since lost its original purpose-now it had become a joke-a prank-a source of entertainment. And all because he was indebted to the guys who had helped him create the myth/rumor he had to continue to put on the panties and Gogo boots night after night.

'_**This is the last one. One wrong move and I'll castrate all of them in their sleep!'**_

Ichigo tried to calm himself at the faint sound of footsteps.

With perfect 20/20 vision he could make out the familiar sandy blond in the distance-

'Why do they always send Tesla-why don't they ever send-

The second figure came into view-he was 6'1 with electric blue hair-

Ichigo snorted and stood up.

()()()

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

My oh my Pantie Platform sure had a set of lungs-Grimmjow thought his ears might bleed a little bit from hearing the horrific cry-

Tesla jumped. "Hey hey I think it's her!"

"Shh!"

"What I'm just saying-

Grimmjow sliced his hand through the air-cutting the blond off. Then slowly, cautiously he moved forward…

()()()

Gogo boots. Smooth legs. Lacy black panties. Long orange pony tail swishing back and forth.

If Grimmjow were a lesser guy he'd probably have drool dripping down his chin but as it was-

"Wow she I mean he I mean it-whatever it is looks so um lively, all peachy toned and everything. Nnoitra-sama is going to be so sorry that he missed out on this."

Pantie Platform's back was turned toward them so Grimmjow still couldn't really decide what the ghost was. Assuming it really was a ghost that is.

"Heh. Think it might be a prank? Some cute little thing decided to dress up and make a few pathetic bastards piss themselves."

"Maybe. I'm going to take a picture."

"Don't be stupid! There's only one real way to find out anything—

"Hey cutie what's your name?"

()()()

Arms crossed over chest. It was still a bit difficult to decide on Pantie Platform's gender.

"Muramasa?"

Grimmjow had no idea who or what Muramasa was.

Nor did he really care.

"Nah, names Grimmjow and you are?"

Instead of answering the 'ghost' ran off.

Grimmjow heard hurried footsteps coming from behind.

Tesla took a few minutes to catch his breath before he spoke. "I think you scared her."

"I'm not so sure it's a her, still difficult to tell."

"Whatever. Let's just head back."

"Yeah."

()()()

Of course he had lied.

As soon as Tesla turned the corner heading for home, Grimmjow back-tracked to the station.

()()()()()()()

Pantie Platform was staring off into the distance.

Voice sounding pained.

"Muramasa why did you leave me?"

He was more careful in his approach this time. Tip-toeing toward Pantie Platform.

"Look I don't know who this Muramasa is but-

Pantie Platform whirled around nearly knocking him on his ass.

Glaring at him with cinnamon and coffee colored eyes.

"Go away or something bad will happen."

Grimmjow grinned cockily "Like what?"

"Look can you just please leave!"

"Nah, I think I'd rather stay."

Pantie Platform blinked "But why?"

"Well," Grimmjow slouched down on to the single bench "Guess I got a few questions. Come sit, let's chat."

()()()()()

Legs crossed. Eyes hard.

"What do you want?"

"So you're Pantie Platform huh?"

()()() 

Since it was the last night Ichigo decided to play the scene a little different this time around.

Besides his latest fanboy was pretty damn hot-arrogance and all.

()()()

"I wish they'd stop calling me that stupid nick name. My name is Ichigo. Ichigo you hear me?"

"What no last name?"

"You didn't give a last name."

Grimmjow shrugged, "Fair enough so Ichigo tell me what are you exactly?"

Pantie Platform's brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well some say you're a female and I admit I really was looking forward to sucking on a fine set of tits but I've engaged in some back door activities before and you have quite an ass so—

"Um what the hell are you talking about?"

"Now there's no need to be all embarrassed. Seems a shame to display such a fine ass to the world and do nothing about it."

()()()

It was a compliment. Rather blunt and crude but a compliment none the less. Ichigo tried to stamp down the blush that was beginning to rise. His cover would be blown for sure if he showed signs of human behavior.

()()()

"Yes I mean no I mean I thought I told you to leave."

"Ah you see the thing about that, I don't take orders." A lecherous grin "I give em."

Grimmjow scooted closer to Pantie Platform so now he was practically on top of her-him-it.

His hand caressed a smooth thigh "So where are you hiding that cute little tail?"

"Tail?"

"Don't be shy I like all kinds of pretty things."

Pantie Platform stood up looking outraged "I don't know what you heard but I don't have a tail or boobs asshole!"

"Hmm got a bit of a mouth on ya I see, nice I like my woman with a little fire."

"I'm not a woman."

"With those child baring hips? Come on there's gotta be a bit of chick somewhere in ya."

It didn't take much to pull Pantie Platf-er Ichigo into his arms and on his lap.

Once again hands met thigh, fingers traveling up the smooth sensitive area.

"For a spirit you're quite warm here. Hmm I wonder."

Fingers slipped inside the panties feeling the obvious (even though it was well tucked) bulge that only a man or a she male could have.

"Hmm that doesn't seem very comfortable. Let's remove all this tape shall we?"

()()()

Ichigo wanted to yell-would have but he was still playing the role of Pantie Platform so all he could do was hiss

()()

"That's better. Poor thing I don't even want to know why you would tape yourself up like this in the first place. You should take care of your body and your body will take care of you."

"S-Stop doing that."

It wasn't often that Grimmjow would admit that a cock was pretty but any other words just paled in comparison.

Fitting perfectly in the palm of his hand.

He gave it slow and steady strokes.

Pantie Platform started panting and moving against his hand.

Yes he did love a willing partner. It made things that much more enjoyable.

"Yeah, just like that. I'll take good care of you."

Ah the well-practiced and perfected bedroom-purr. Yes no one could resist his charming and seductive ways-not even a kinky ghost who died in a train station apparently.

Still it was really quite a wonder that Pantie Platform felt so warm and smooth and—

"D-Don't!"

"Oh we've only just begun kitten," full on Cheshire cat like grin made it's way on to Grimmjow's face "Let's crank it up a notch."

"Crank?"

"Well I hear that you are pretty fond of ripping off a man's clothes so go for it! I'm all yours baby."

()()()

Ichigo wanted to punch the guy now-although it wasn't really the blue haired male's fault-it was the fault of

'_**Damn you Nnoitra I swear to god I will get you for this!'**_

Honestly what had the black-haired male men thinking. Making Ichigo out to be some sort of perfect-correction making Pantie Platform out to be some sort of slut. That was not the role of Pantie Platform-even if her outfit was a little risqué she was a good girl.

()()()

"Uh?"

"Yes?"

Fingers paid special attention to the perineum. A pleasure zone that was too often neglected during encounters such as these—

Not that Grimmjow had random and casual sex often or anything but—

"Y-you-

"What? Speak up kitten I can't hear you."

"You-

"I what?" Fingers stopped their teasing for a moment.

"What are you doing to me?"

"It's pretty obvious isn't it? Come on kitten, quit stallin' and rip off my clothes!"

Hands gave that all too perfect ass a good squeeze.

Pantie Platform who either was or wasn't a ghost-was or wasn't a female-was or wasn't a male-was or wasn't an animal-let out a yelp.

"Like that do ya kitten? You're gonna love this even more."

Grimmjow slipped two fingers into said all too perfect ass. It was warm and wet he pushed them in deeper before adding a third.

Somewhere between the "ugh" and "stop" Pantie Platfrom aka Ichigo started riding his fingers, easily welcoming a fourth one.

Grimmjow knew some where in the deep recesses of his mind that he should be freaked out at the very least-he was practically finger fucking a corpse-well not a corpse exactly but a spirit-or at least it was supposed to be a spirit-he still couldn't figure out how a spirit could feel so warm and solid and perfectly human.

Oh well if he went to hell-at least it'd been worth it!

()()()()()

A sharp whistle reached his ears.

Glaring light flashed in his electric blue eyes as Grimmjow awoke.

A platinum blond security guard with a flashlight was standing over him.

"Time to wake up boy. You can't sleep here."

WTF?

"Huh?"

Grimmjow looked around and noticed that he was no longer inside the train station but outside the entry door way. It was no longer night but early morning.

"Up you go."

Normally he would've protested at having some strange bastard touch him but he just didn't have the energy to give a shit.

"Oh and next time put some pants on or I'll have to arrest you."

"Pants?"

Grimmjow looked down to find he was dressed in nothing more than his paw printed boxers. "Yeah I'll be sure to do that."

"What were you doing out here anyway?" The security guard eyed him strangely.

Grimmjow didn't want to tell the guy the truth-there was no way he-

"Uh don't remember."

"Fine. Don't let it happen again."

"Sure thing. See ya."

"Take care and get some rest would ya? You almost look like you've seen a ghost."

"Imagine that."

"Right. Sure you'll be okay kid?"

"Fine."

()()()()()

"You can come out now Ichigo."

"Thanks."

Ichigo felt a bit achy but he wasn't in extreme pain-he hadn't let the guy get that far.

The silver-blond security guard looked at him with concern.

"How much longer are you going to do this?"

"That was the last one I think. That guy he was—

"What? Special?"

"Kinda. Anyway I gotta head back but thanks again."

"Right. Well if you do come clean, keep my name out of it."

"Sure thing, Kensei."

()()()

It was such a relief for Ichigo. Finally being able to toss away his 'Pantie Platform' persona for good.

The orange haired male buried his nose in the stolen pair of jeans-

The scent was intoxicating. He wanted more.

()()()

"What do you mean it was a lie? I saw Pantie Platform with my own eyes."

"Yeah, yeah anyway his real name is Kurosaki Ichigo. Seems he's a 17 year old college student and the 'Pantie Platform myth' was all part of some big elaborate project."

"Project?"

Shrugs. "Don't know. Anyway whose up for bowling?"

Was Grimmjow irritated?

Just a little bit.

But it wasn't the end of the fucking world.

If he could go back and do it again. He would.

()()()()()()

That night.

The doorbell rang.

Grimmjow pressed pause on the DVD player and went to answer the door.

It was the one and only 'Pantie Platform' holding his pants.

"You forgot these last time."

Grimmjow grinned, "That's not all I forgot." He pulled the non-ghost in the house and shut the door.

END


	8. AUTHORESSNOTE

**WHAT'S THIS A DELETED FILE? THAT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN.**

**WHY HASN'T THIS STORY BEEN UPDATED SINCE LAST YEAR?**

**Another not so good sign…oh dear**

**FEAR NOT! **

**NO THIS IS NOT AN ABANDONED COLLECTION. **

**I FULLY INTEND TO STILL ADD NEW PROJECTS TO IT HOWEVER THE ORDER IN WHICH THE STORIES WILL BE WRITTEN HAS CHANGED…**

**MEANING THERE WILL NOT BE A SPECIFIC ORDER.**

**I WILL WRITE WHICH EVER PAIRING CAPTURES MY BRAIN AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT IN TIME. **

**IT IS A VERY SIMILAR STYLE TO THE ONE I HAVE USED FOR MY OTHER COLLECTION~ WINTER BERRY~**

**BECAUSE IT'S BEEN DANCING IN MY HEAD A LOT LONGER NOW COMPARED TO SOME OTHER FICS MEANT FOR THIS COLLECTION **

**Stuffed, Tucked and Plucked Under the Moonlight **

**A BYAKUYAxICHIGO story will most likely be the story I focus on next.**

**After that?**

**Well it's a toss up between**

**A Berry's Court**

**(ShiroxIchigo, AizenxIchigo)**

**or**

**Get Off My Couch!**

**(NnoitraxIchigo)**

**It was never my intention to lie or be misleading or anything of the sort…I simply… what can I say my brain is consumed by many projects.**

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE**

**SLY**


	9. THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

DISCLAIMER: BECAUSE ALL GOOD THINGS COME IN STRAWBERRY-SCENTED PACAKGES BUT I STILL DON'T OWN BLEACH!

A/N I wrote this for my pal J, he is not familiar with the Bleach universe outside of what I have told him and reading a few of my other works-nevertheless he is a proud gay male who knows what he likes and so he made this request. 2 hot guys in the military meet in a bar-one older-one younger-who better to fill these roles then Ken-chan and Ichi? The title of the fic as well as the title of the bar was all his idea.

ENJOY AND THANK YOU FOR READING!

AU, OOC, Spelling, grammar, punctuation, KENICHI, OTHERSICHI and so on

Speed Berry Productions Presents…

SHOT #8

**Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?**

**(SHOWN MAINLY FROM ICHIGO'S VIEW POINT!)**

**()()()**

**PROLOGUE TYPE THING….**

**M Stands for….**

**It all started with a brochure.**

**Not even close!**

**But this is what Ichigo decided to tell his friends when asked 'why did you decide to join the military?'**

**In actuality Ichigo's reason for being in the military was because his moronic old man had caught him looking at a magazine.**

**Not just any magazine but a magazine featuring a group of bare-chested well-muscled men wearing sailor hats and little else.**

**The title on the cover said it all**

**We put the "Ngh" back in NAVY!**

**Red-faced and having a difficult time stringing words together-coming up with a proper excuse as to why he had his pants and underwear around his ankles and one hand fisted around his cock while the other turned the pages-he managed to snarl out**

"**WHAT THE HELL GOAT FACE YOU CAN'T JUST BARGE IN HERE WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT-IT'S CALLED KNOCKING DUMBASS!"**

**()()**

**It annoyed the orange-haired youth to no end that his old man still had a good couple of inches on him in terms of height-made the lectures that much more threatening…not that Isshin was an asshole per se but…**

"**I didn't raise a daughter I raised a son-you wanna be a real man son? Real men don't waste their days on pansy ass shit like the navy REAL men JOIN THE ARMY!"  
**

**Almost as if the man had been planning this moment since Ichigo's birth-he ripped the "offensive material" away from the youth and dumped a stack of pamphlets in his lap.**

"**Here you go son, read these maybe it'll help put some hair on your chest and you can finally make both me and your mother proud. Find a nice girl to settle down with-give me a bunch of grand children to spoil."**

**Settle down?**

**The fuck?**

**Ichigo had only just recently finished his last year of high school and he had told both of his parents that he wanted to take a year off to travel or just lounge around before entering college.**

**()()**

**Less than a month later we find our orange berry…well far, far from home…**

**A Stands for…**

"_Welcome to the army. I'm Sergeant Major Zaraki Kenpachi, you will address me as Sir or Sergeant Zaraki at all times. You do not have permission to bastardize my title in any way-if you fail to comply…._

_The man did not finish his sentence-his eyes that were a deep forest green-gray color said it all-_

_He cleared his throat and pinned the group of youngsters with a stare that was hard enough to make a proud Yakuza cower and cry like a little girl._

_()()_

"_Going by the looks on your pasty faces and scrawny asses I imagine some if not most of you were forced to come here against your will- a pause – Sucks to be you don't it? Since your last and only ride home just took off unless you feel like crossing the ocean and risk getting eaten by sharks- here the man paused to grin a grin that was anything but friendly "Go right on ahead."_

_Kurosaki Ichigo, age 18, wasn't sure what to expect when goat face forced him to sign up for the army. He knew it would it wouldn't be any where near as glamorous or exciting as it was depicted in the novels and action movies but there hadn't been an official war in the past 11 years so he figured how bad could it be?_

_Standing in line amongst his peers? Brothers? Fellow cadets? Trainees? Bunk-mates? Whatever they were called in single file with the hot blazing sun beating upon his back was certainly no picnic._

_Sergeant Major Zaraki-not exactly a common name but at least it was a name that Ichigo could pronounce. 6'6 in height with a wild spiky black mane of hair, pronounced hairless brows, a large scar running down the left side of his face which was even more exaggerated as his grin widened, several cris-cross scar tissue along his forearms and knuckles. (this guy had clearly served his time out on the battlefield) heavily muscled (more like ripped) body-wearing the standard military gear and shit-kicking black boots. His voice was deep, raspy, commanding respect._

_Ichigo noticed that some of the boys with smaller statures looked like they would surely piss themselves any minute-others looked like they were going to try and run for it-dare to cross the ocean-sharks be damned!_

"_I can assure you my bite is worse than theirs," the man continued on as though he had read the boys' minds._

_Ichigo heard a noticeable gulp coming from his far left but did not dare to turn-he did not want to chance pissing Zaraki off on the first day._

"_Some of you might have noticed that my hair is longer than the army would normally permit. This is because times have changed. We do not care what color or style your hair is-we don't care if your face is kept shaved or unshaven. Out on the real battlefield there isn't time to worry about such superficial crap! _

_That being said- the man paused and snapped his fingers-two guys stepped out of line and it dawned on Ichigo just then that they weren't just newbies like him-these guys were lieutenants._

_The first was well-muscled and standing at 6 feet with a shiny bald head, tattoos at the outer corner of each of his eyes and balancing a wooden pole over his shoulder. The second was shorter and smaller boned with dark blue hair, feathered brows and carried a noticeable (yet natural) feminine air about him._

_Each man was holding a cloth bag in his other hand._

_Zaraki continued on…_

"_This here is Lieutenant Ayasegawa and 2__nd__ Lieutenant Madarame and you will address them as such at all times-failure to do so and you will serve time in the pit."_

"_See this here is a yellow bag," the effeminate looking man spoke to the group as though they were slow retards or hopeless fuckers who just fell of the boat "Dump any and all cellphones, ipods, iphones, radios, portable game devices, DVD's, DVR's, Mp3's, records, tapes, jewelry, mirrors, pocket knifes, tweezers, razors and any other device or item which can be used a potentially harmful weapon."_

_The cue ball grinned and tapped his wooden stick or pole or whatever the hell it was on the ground "In the green bag you will dump any and all salty and sweet snacks, rice boxes, noodles, energy bars, canned goods, proteins shakes and anything else that is not listed in the TRAINEE handbook."_

_Murmurs…whispering…barely suppressed groans_

_Ichigo caught bits and pieces of the conversation going on around him._

"_Hey, hey I heard him say PIT…what exactly is a pit is that a graveyard or something?"_

"_Nah they only call it the PIT because-_

"_Well, well barely 15 minutes in and we already got a couple of celebrities amongst us," Zaraki bowed mockingly "Sunshine, Flamingo please do step forward so that we mere commoners can give you a proper greeting."_

_Several guys snickered and Ichigo rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long year._

_The boy dubbed flamingo stepped out of line and flicked his bright locks out of his amber eyes "I am Szayel Apporo Grantz, the 8__th__ son of Jean-Clair-Vogue-Grantz and I'd appreciate it if you did not call me a flamingo, good sir."_

_Snickers turned into loud and boisterous laughter and chatter._

"_Would you check out this guy?"_

"_Yeah what era do you think he stepped outta?"_

"_Looks like some poncy queen from overseas-lil fucker won't last a day."_

"_Shh! They'll hear you if you're n-_

_Zaraki let out a snort which drowned out all the noise "Grantz huh?"_

_The boy now known as Szayel nodded._

"_GET YOUR ASS BACK IN LINE BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP IT YOU WON'T KNOW BACKWARDS FROM FORWARDS!"_

_The pink-haired youths' hair flew back and he shrunk back in line._

_His friend? Brother? Cousin? Whatever the blond was to the boy scolded him "I told you to not say anything until uncle had our papers sent over-why do you always have to stir up t-_

"_Sunshine, front and center!"_

_Only an idiot would ignore a direct command._

_Flicking his hair over his shoulder with his nose turned up in the air the blond stepped out of line and awaited Zaraki's next words._

"_So what do they call you back home huh Sunshine?"_

"_I am known as Illfort and it would be in your best interest to think before speak you over grown uncouth Neanderthal."_

_Ichigo's mouth dropped and he didn't have to look over at the other boys to know that their reactions had most likely been more or less the same._

_He couldn't believe the blond had actually-kid actually had some serious balls or was a grade A fucking idiot!_

_Either way. It was clear that pansy ass appearances aside Szayel and Illfort were not merely some pushovers-still if any one should learn to bite their tongue it was-_

_Zaraki's nostrils flared making him look more like a raging bull at that moment-his beady green gray eyes narrowed-thin lips spread into a grin which promised a great amount of humiliation or pain-probably both. _

_He stepped into the blonds' personal space towering over him-no doubt finding some sort of not-quite-closeted sadistic pleasure in watching as the fool squirmed and paled._

"_You little silver spoon shit eating bastard actually have the balls to say something like that to my face," grin widening "Heh, nice to know your not entirely dickless, Sunshine."_

_Ilfort eyes went wide and his mouth dropped-clearly the guy felt horrified and insulted-a number of things-it seemed as if he was going to snap out another retort-the Sergeant didn't give him the opportunity._

"_I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND I EXPECT A STRAIGHT ANSWER," here a nasty sneer, "Although based on the looks of things __that__ might be a __**impossible**__ request."_

"_I-I-_

_It shouldn't have affected Ichigo. Words were simply that. Just words. Zaraki was just trying to teach the blond a lesson-he was just putting the overconfident kid in his place and yet-Ichigo curled his hands into fists and bit down hard on the inside of his jaw…that was too…that was…_

_His mind not quite catching up with the rest of him in time-Ichigo felt something in him snap-didn't even register as he stepped out of line-didn't even feel his boot clad feet hitting the hot sand-didn't even _

"_HEY! SERGEANT COMMANDER OR NOT YOU CAN'T JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT-HAZING OR ANY FORM OF DISCRIMANATION WAS BANNED IN…_

_The rest of his words/lectures died on his lips and Ichigo's brain finally caught up to the rest of him and now…_

"_Another loud mouth, man my day just keeps better and better."_

_Ichigo never had so much difficultly in his life trying to swallow as he did at that very moment. Damn he hadn't wanted to draw attention to himself-he never meant to start problems-hadn't intended on being disrespectful-he had actually been enjoying Zaraki's speech or lectures or rules or army codes of conduct or whatever the hell it was called-he was a bit intrigued about the mans' hair which looked even spikier and untamed up close-a tiny part of him-a part Ichigo was desperately trying to erase wanted to reach up and touch the locks-not that he could reach them even if he stood on his tip-toes_

"_State your name, Strawberry-Tangelo."_

_Ichigo scowled. Hating it when people (this guy included it seemed) called him a strawberry. His hair was fucking orange. Orange like the sun…like the juice…like the dandelions…like the fucking-_

"_Cat got your tongue?"_

"_Kurosaki Ichigo and it does not mean strawberry!"_

_Zaraki narrowed his hairless brows "Heh, well congratulations __**Ichigo, **__you sunshine and flamingo here have just earned yourselves a night outdoors with out your sleeping bags. I suggest you use that time to think real hard and fast about what to do for shelter because there's a storm blowin' in and it ain't gonna be pretty."_

_Ichigo cursed his luck and spared a glance at his fellow sleeping party. '__**Damn it first night and I'm gonna be stuck in the pouring rain with drama queens.'**_

_()()()_

Someone was shaking him wildly. Ichigo batted at the air with his hands not wishing to wake up from his slumber just yet-

The shaking continued and an unpleasant poking session with fingers digging into his face followed-letting out a growl and silently vowing to beat the bastard with in an inch of his life

"Its time Ichigo-the day of freedom has finally arrived-HOME-We're finally going home!"

Orange lashes fluttered open and Ichigo sat up letting the anger slowly slip away-he rubbed his neck and rolled it-wishing to work out the small knot that had formed-he didn't know why he insisted on sleeping in the most asinine positions when he'd only regret it. "What are you talking about Renji?" he asked, voice groggy.

"Home, man we've only been talking about going on leave for months-why do you think Shuhei and I sped up the process by setting those stink bombs off in the mess hall."

Ichigo resisted the urge to throttle his best friend and climbed down from his bunk.

()()

While he fixed his shirt collar and his hair in the mirror he asked his tattooed companion "So the helicopter has already landed or-

Renji shook his head "Nah they won't be here til' about noon-

"Noon?" An eye roll, "What the hell then why did you wake me up for-

"Because you idiot Sergeant Zaraki wants to see you-in fact the guy demanded it-told me he'd command Ayasegawa to put an extra bullet in my ass if I didn't hurry up and come fetch you."

A raised brow "I doubt he actually said that you're just exaggerating," another eye "Not that that's anything else new."

"Whatever Ichigo just move your pretty boy ass before I knock on the cabin next door and tell Ganju to move it for you."

Ichigo shuddered. Not at all pleased by the image that his friend had just painted for him-not that Ganju wasn't a cool guy to hang around with from time to time but Ichigo didn't want a pig like that anywhere near his precious ass.

If it was Ganju's roommate Kaze on the other hand well…

Another shudder-this one of delight as the orange-haired youth imagined being manhandled by the well-muscled half Arabian hottie with two-toned colored hair. Sure rumor had it that he was a bit of a sadist but Ichigo wasn't going to let such a tiny little thing discourage him…

Well if he were to make a move that is…which he so wasn't because well it was WRONG or so his old man had continuously tried to drill into his head time and time again.

He shook his head of such thoughts when Renji gave him the _look-_

_The look that said 'I know what you're thinking and I'm telling ya for both our sakes don't go there, man.'_

"Anyway what does Zaraki want from me?"

The redhead shrugged carelessly.

Ichigo sighed and bent down to lace up his shoes "He didn't give a reason?"

Renji let out a snort "Since when does the Sergeant ever need a reason?"

()()

D stands for…

_Ichigo was (like any other person) a dreamer from time to time or more accurately he let his imagination carry him away-get the absolute best of him._

_If he let it…which more often than not he did._

_As he walked down the long corridor he asked himself _

'_**What could Zaraki possibly have to see me about? Except for a few times at the start of all this when I acted like smart ass I've kept my nose clean-learned what I needed to learn-performed the tasks and duties assigned so why would he want to-**_

_Ichigo paused in his steps_

_**Unless no could it be-is it possible-is there some slight chance that all those times when I thought I was being discreet-that my obvious desire/burning attraction towards him was more obvious than a bright yellow bus in the middle of a funeral-oh my god what if he's known all along and was waiting for the opportune moment to call me out on my-**_

_Ichigo couldn't even bare to finish the thought-his heart pounded loudly as he neared closer and closer to the door at the end of the hall_

_()()_

_**A something, something moment…**_

_Announcing his arrival. Salute. _

"_At ease."_

_Wait for it…wait for it…_

"_**Ichigo."**_

_It was something that Ichigo had picked up from the beginning-no matter who was around Sergeant Zaraki always addressed him by his first name even though the man had made it quite clear on day one that he held no attachments towards any one-not even his faithful lieutenants it seemed as though Ichigo himself was the one exception to the rule._

_He wasn't trying to read too much into it but…was it possible that Zaraki might be attracted to him in the same way that he was attracted to the older man._

_The mans' office wasn't exactly an ideal mating spot-furthest thing from a love hotel or a getaway paradise- slate gray curtains blocked out any possible sunlight-the walls were painted a basic brown color-the shelves and mantles stacked with plaques, trophies, medals, books, maps and small weapons-2 large flags sitting on both ends of the rectangular cherry oak desk-a faded torn carpet which had certainly seen better days-the old floor squeaking horribly as Ichigo crossed the room_

"_You wanted to see me sir."_

_A glare or no maybe it was a frown-hmm perhaps he had done something wrong that he wasn't aware of-_

"_Kenpachi."_

"_Huh? Oh I'm sorry what sir?"_

"_Stop calling me sir, you're on leave now or well almost anyway so call me Kenpachi-_

"_Uh but s-_

"_That's an order!"_

_Um okay. Well this was a little erm…informal? Not that Ichigo was complaining in fact this could spell good things for him_

_Zaraki narrowed his eyes-or no the man had given him permission to call him Kenpachi now-Kenpachi narrowed his eyes_

"_You look different."_

"_Uh different how sir?"_

_Uh gee maybe because he was dressed out of his uniform for once-wearing fabrics that flattered his figure? Ichigo wasn't arrogant but he knew he had good style-still what were the odds that Zaraki would appreciate his style._

_He shook his head. 'Idiot stop reading too much into it.'_

_Although even as the youth berated himself he noticed that there was something different about his Sergeant today…he couldn't quite put his finger on it but something about the way the man was seated suggested-_

"_You got a girl back home, Ichigo?"_

_A girl? As in a girlfriend? Of all the questions Zaraki could ask-of all the questions he wanted the man to ask why-_

"_Um, no sir- at Kenpachi's glare- he corrected himself "I mean not at the moment."_

"_Heh, natural heartbreaker is that what you're trying to tell me?"_

"_No, I don't-I've never really had much interest in dating g-_

"_Shame."_

"_What?"_

"_Never mind. Dismissed!"_

_Ichigo felt a mixture of confusion, disappointment and annoyance as he headed towards the exit door._

_His head was bowed so low he failed to see the grin making its way on to Zaraki's face._

_()()_

**P STANDS FOR…**

**After 6 and half months of eating nothing but canned goods and whatever other crap the military tried to pass off as food, Kurosaki Ichigo never thought he'd appreciate a fresh out of the oven baked pretzel as much as he was at this very moment in time.**

**His bunk mate and life time companion, Abarai Renji, wasted no time in devouring the salty dough but Ichigo took his time to savor every bite-letting the combined tang of the mustard and salt dance on his tongue, letting out a moan of approval before taking another bite.**

**It had been a long and trying ordeal and in the end it wound up doing the orange haired male a lot more harm than good.**

**The problem that he had wished to eliminate forevermore had only worsened and now Ichigo knew there was no turning back.**

**Then again his ole' man had only been fooling himself if he honestly thought that shipping his son off to the military would be a surefire way to turn him straight.**

**Surrounded by beef-at his left-his right-front-center-behind-the "cure" for **_**homosexuality**_** had failed tremendously.**

"**So we got the next three months to do whatever we want, what should we do first Ichigo?"**

"**I got to go home before I do anything else-I promised my mother that she would be the first one I greeted when we landed."**

"**Your mom? Oh come on Ichigo what are you twelve? Family can wait-let's go have some fun! It's the last week in June but I bet you a dime a dozen that the pools are open-not that I'm bragging or anythin' but I look damn good in a speedo."**

**Ichigo snorted-not even bothering to point out how incredibly gay his "straight" friend sounded just then."**

_It wasn't all just friendly jabs and horseplay Ichigo had seen his straight friend acting anything but at different points throughout there time spent in the military._

_There was one specific person, which stuck out in his mind even now…_

_He had seen Renji getting quite cozy with a petite blue-eyed blond-hadn't missed the hushed whispers in the dead of night nor the tell tale love bites on both parties necks-_

_()_

_Cinnamon and coffee brown eyes scanned the rowdy mess hall-Ichigo didn't care much for dining with a bunch of gorillas but he needed to speak to Renji._

_Or more accurately he wished to confront the redhead about something-well confront was such a strong word-all he really wanted to do was get the other male to stop living in denial._

_()_

_He finally managed to spot Renji sitting with a bunch of other guys at a table in the back-huddled together and acting well like gorillas._

_Ichigo wondered what the commotion was all about and then he caught an eye full of T and A and recognized the glossy treasure to be a porno magazine._

_Half hating him self (or more accurately his body) for not reacting like an average hot-blooded heterosexual male and getting off on the sight of a woman proudly displaying her goodies. _

_Rather Ichigo found his gaze/attention shifting towards the "ring leader of the group"- Ginjo Kugo-_

_The aura surrounding him spoke volumes. Manly. Powerful. Creature._

_Yes a creature that would most likely tear Ichigo an additional asshole if he even so much as dared to hint/suggest that they should get to "know" each other a little bit better. _

_Ichigo swallowed hard and wetted his lips as he noticed the impressive bulge in the front of the other mans' pants-inwardly groaning at the injustice of it all._

_But hey in his defense maybe Ginjo shouldn't sit there all spread-eagle in the first place?_

_What Ichigo would give to just grab a fistful of those messy, glossy black locks-how his fingers twitched at the thought of how damn glorious it would be to feel the hard well sculpted muscles-_

_Ichigo snapped out of his little dream daze at the sound of a high-pitched whistle._

_So much for talking to Renji now-he'd have to try again later_

_()_

_Later that night…_

'_You and Kira good friends then?'_

_Renji climbed out of his bunk, his face turning red with anger and embarrassment _

'_Shut up Ichigo that was-Kira was-he looks like a girl man and anyway don't think I missed the way you were undressing the Sergeant with your eyes the other day.'_

_Ichigo absentmindedly flipped through the pages in his novel and raised a brow 'Your point being?'_

'_My point being that you should worry about yourself and keep your nose out of another's business, Ichigo.'_

_A snort 'I'll be sure to remember that next time I see you down on your knees.'_

_Even though Ichigo didn't hold any attraction for his hot-tempered companion he wasn't exactly protesting when Renji grabbed a fistful of his uniform and pinned him down- apple seed brown eyes boring holes into him._

'_Bastard-take it back!'_

_A smirk pulled at Ichigo's lips 'Nah I'm rather enjoying being right for once.'_

_A series of emotions flashed over Renji's face before he released his hold on the orange haired male. 'Why are y-?_

'_I'm not the one denying my inner queen, that's you.'_

_()()_

"**No thanks Renji, I rather not be scarred by the mental image of your hairy ape ass for life!"**

"**Hairy ape a-Oi, oi what the hell Ichigo why would you?-It's not like I'd be parading around for your enjoyment or somethin' but my ass is not hairy and I'm not an ape-in fact I'll pull down my pants right now and s-**

"**Please, don't."**

**Ichigo rolled his napkin into a ball and tossed it in the trash and started walking off knowing that Renji would be quick to follow once he stopped with his antics-**

**()()**

**He could hear the slapping of the redheads' sandals on the pavement and slowed his speedy pace down to a leisurely stroll-**

"**These rocking delts-these sexy legs-I do it all for the ladies man." **

**Ichigo patted Renji on the shoulder as if to console the other male, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he said, "Whatever puts you at ease my friend."**

"**Do ya always have to be such a prick Ichigo? I mean I wasn't finished talking and you jus-**

"**I just what Renji?"**

"…"

**And then a loud and over dramatic out burst-the redhead pointed an accusatory finger at Ichigo-**

"**It's all your fault Ichigo! Because you always run around in those ridiculous tight jeans and tees and even when you weren't allowed to do it I'm convinced that you purposely shrunk your uniform in the dryer giving me no other choice but to look at your peach caramel nipples and perfectly shaped ass!"**

**Ichigo did not want to even know how his friend had figured out what color his nipples were-Renji was practically like a brother to him-it was bit weird to say the least.**

**Not that his friend wasn't attractive with his 6 foot 2 stature, bold tribal tattoos, honey toned skin and natural fire engine locks falling just above his waistline-**

**Ichigo was convinced that Renji must have bribed one of the officers or something because no one else had been able to keep their hair THAT long.**

**Not that the orange-haired male was complaining because at least times had changed and he and his bunkmates hadn't been forced into getting the classic "buzz cut"**

**And then he walked on not caring if Renji followed him this time. **

**Karakura wasn't a large town-they'd run into each other again-hell Ichigo wouldn't be surprised if the other male dropped by for breakfast the next morning-using the same tiered excuse he always used while they were growing up-**

'_My pipes are busted-the water is freezing fucking cold-can I please use your shower?'_

**()()**

**F stands for…**

**It was a bit strange being back home but it didn't seem like much had changed.**

**The front lawn was still as wild and untamable as ever. Weeds and grass growing in every damn direction-looking more like a jungle than a garden.**

**Ichigo had half a mind to roll up his sleeves and go over to the shed and pull out the electric mower but he just didn't have the energy. Maybe tomorrow-he continued on up the drive way and noted that the mail box still had a large dent in it from the time that his old man had smashed his fist right through it when he got into one of his gorilla-war contests with his rival next door.**

**Yes almost in his forties and goat face still had rivalries with other men in the neighborhood. It was just one of the many things that embarrassed Ichigo.**

**()()**

**The welcome home mat hadn't changed either-the edges curled and frayed-the second E in WELCOME looking more like a B-**

**Ichigo let out a sigh and raised his hand in order to knock but halted when the familiar sound of barking coming from the other side of the door reached his ears.**

**He lowered his hand setting it back down at his side and waited.**

"_Who do you think is at the door KJ? Could it be the mail man?"_

**An answering bark to the humans' question**

"Should we let him in?"

**Another bark.**

**A fond smile made its way on to peach tinted lips and turned into a full blown grin when the door was finally opened revealing a 5 foot 7 woman with a bright welcoming smile on her face. **

**Kurosaki Masaki-Honey and copper colored curls pulled back in a classic bun rather than falling loosely about her slim shoulders. She wasn't wearing any makeup and the only piece of jewelry on her was her wedding ring. Her evening gown was set in a deep forest green color-the sleeves and hem decorated with golden beads designed to look like flowers. Her feet bare-toes painted a satin pink color. Sitting obediently at her side, the family prized red-eyed Alaskan husky, Kariya Jin or KJ for short.**

**Ichigo bent down to scratch the dog behind the ears and then stood back up and removed his hat. **"I'm home, _Kaa-san."_

**There was a momentary pause before the orange-haired male was pulled into mothers' arms. He let out a sigh as she kissed him.**

"_Okaerinasai_, Ichigo."

()()

"Whose at the door, Masaki?"

Goat face was home? If his father was home that usually meant that the man had guests over. Ichigo bit back a groan. He was not in the mood to socialize. The only thing he wished to do was spend time with his family and take a real shower.

"You have company?"

"Just a few people but if you'd like to just go upstairs and relax I can tell them to come back tomorrow?" Masaki suggested.

No. That would be even worse. Ichigo figured he might as well just get it over with now.

"I'm going to use the bathroom and stuff but tell everyone I'll be down in 15 minutes or so."

He felt a little bit guilty about asking his mother to be his personal messenger but what other choice did he have at the moment?

"You are your fathers son."

Ichigo scowled hating to be compared to the man in even the smallest of ways.

Placing a kiss on his mothers' cheek, the orange haired male headed upstairs to unpack and change. The shower would have to wait.

()()

HAWK

But apparently even a few minutes of peace was too much to ask for because just as Ichigo went to pull a clean shirt off the clothes hanger there came a knock at the door followed by…

"You know its funny I spent the last 24 hours rehearsing what I would say to you after so much time has passed. Wondered if it would be too forward of me to run up and kiss you-considered if I should wear my hair pinned up or down and now I realize how silly all of that was as I stand here and look that you-you haven't changed a bit, _Ichigo-kun."_

Ichigo didn't even have to turn around in order to see who it was for there was no way he could ever mistake that shameless seductive purr.

He finished putting on his shirt before turning around to face Aizen Sousuke or "Ai" as the young woman preferred to be called because it was a proper feminine name and that way everyone would not look at her like she was some sort of freak. She had been named after her grandfather because originally her parents had been expecting a boy.

None of this interested Ichigo of course for he felt that the name didn't make a person-personality and actions made a person. He did not care much for the girl who continuously threw herself at him year after year no matter how many times he shot her down.

"Hey, Ai."

"That's it?" Ai scrunched up her nose in distaste and crossed the room, stopping just a hairs breath away from his face. She was already tall but in heels she matched his height evenly. Batting her perfectly curled lashes she purred out, "Surely you can do better than that, don't you think Ichigo-kun?"

Ichigo mentally commanded himself not to recoil when the brunette caressed his face with her delicate hands and planted a kiss on the side of his mouth before pulling back with a slight smirk dancing on her lips "You've missed me haven't _you?" _

"No, not really." Ichigo responded honestly and then wiped roughly at his mouth with the back of his hand.

Ai's intelligent rich brown eyes flickered behind designer chocolate-coated frames and she kicked off her heels and sat down on his bed. Planting her chin into the palm of her hand she leaned back and studied him for a few minutes-

Ichigo (as always) felt as though he had fallen prey to a hungry hawk and swallowed the lump that was quickly forming in his throat. Keeping his tone casual he asked the young woman "What are you doing here, Ai?"

Rather than giving the orange haired man a direct answer Ai fell back on the bed and let out a sigh as she played with the tassels hanging from his brass bed frame. "Do I really need a reason to come and see my future husband?"

Cinnamon and coffee brown eyes widened before narrowing as things clicked into place in Ichigo's mind. _'Damn goat face so that's why she's-_

"Ai we're not together so why would you think I would marry you?"

Ai sat up and the smirk returned, "Come now Ichigo-kun what kind of woman do you take me for? Do you honestly think that I'll give up just because certain "urges" come over you from time to time?"

Ichigo raised a brow wondering what the hell the brunette was getting at.

"There's no reason to be ashamed sometimes we just can not help the way we are born."

"What are you talking about Ai?"

"You honestly don't know?" A light laugh, "My, my Ichigo-kun you are just as adorably clueless as ever-

Ichigo crossed his arms and glared at the brunette "The hell are you talking about I'm not clueless!"

"Oh but you are and I wouldn't have it any other way," Deep brown eyes twinkling "In fact I fully embrace it-might even watch once in awhile."

Seriously what the fuck was she talking about?

"I do have a few restrictions though but we'll save that for when the time comes." Looking up at him from underneath her lashes, the purr in her voice returned, "For now let us take this time to reconnect?" She patted the bed.

Against his better judgment Ichigo sat down on the bed and tried to gently as possible reject her once more.

"Ai listen to me you're intelligent, pretty, well dressed and the daughter of two of the most successful lawyers in the country so why would you want to waste your time on someone like me whose short, mediocre, has the fashion sense of a 15 year old and still lives at home?"

"Five-nine isn't short, your wardrobe suits you just fine and if its security you're concerned about _well-_

A moments pause…

Ichigo grabbed a pillow and put it in his lap hoping it would keep Ai at bay.

How wrong he was!

Before Ichigo could shield himself or turn his head and protest Ai was on top of him- quickly invading his mouth with her tongue-grinding her soft curves against him-running her fingers up and down his chest-feeling the hard muscles twitching beneath her finger tips-rather than turned on Ichigo felt filthy-felt like he was being violated-was quite certain that if he did not stop her now-he shut his eyes not even wishing to complete the horrific image in his head-and pushed her off-resisted the urge to vomit-resisted the urge to scream-to run-to-

Licking cherry painted lips now slightly smudged from the make out session, Ai smoothed out at the wrinkles in her skirt and stood up but made no immediate move towards the door.

Ichigo was not a violent person-especially when it came to the fairer sex but right now he almost felt like dragging the silly perverted woman out the door and down the stairs by her hair-

Rubbing the back of his neck Ichigo willed himself to calm down before he said something unpleasant like 'GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T COME BACK!' He calmly walked to the door and opened it. He managed to keep his tone even and say "Ai I think you better go, now."

Ai seemed to consider his words for a minute… And then she was walking towards him-Ichigo's spine stiffened as he prepared himself-he would not let her catch him off guard a second time during their little reunion-

Closer-closer-the clicking of her heels was muffled by the heavy carpeting.

Ichigo counted the steps.

One two…Ai looked directly at him-her long wavy brown locks brushed against his arm and then she was passing him and continuing on down the staircase

()()

"_**I apologize for the sudden departure Isshin-san, Masaki-san but I'm not feeling very well,"**_

_**A lie. Well rehearsed and perfected to the T. That was Ai.**_

"_**Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. Would you like a cup of tea? I find that it is the best solution when I am not feeling well."**_

_**His mother. Ever the most gracious hostess.**_

"_**I would like that very much, thank you."**_

()()

Ichigo rolled his eyes and shut his door having no desire to listen to the rest of Ai's lies.

()()

NOBLE

A short while later as promised Ichigo came down to dinner only to discover that Ai hadn't left-rather she seemed perfectly fine-better than fine as she flirted openly with

"_Byakuya?"_

"Ah Ichigo, son its about down, come sit down, sit down tell us all about your time in the military."

Isshin's voice was as loud and obnoxious as ever-dressed in loose fitted slacks and floral printed shirt sloshing a can of beer and grinning like an idiot as he pulled out the empty chair expecting his son to sit down.

Ichigo did not want to talk about his time in the military-he had absolutely no desire to tell everyone that he spent most of his time ogling men-one man in particular.

Ignoring his old man, Ichigo pulled out the other empty chair placed next to his mother and sat down-once again repeating his question to the dark-haired man seated on his left "Byakuya what are you doing here?"

More to the point what was the man doing here with Ai?

Did something-were the two a couple now or something? Not that Ichigo cared but…

()()

Byakuya was a few years older than him and came from a high class noble family who frowned upon anything unconventional or out of the ordinary so naturally when Ichigo had first crossed paths with the elegant raven-haired male it wasn't a friendship that bloomed from the start…rather it was quite the opposite.

In fact the orange-haired male had been quite convinced that Byakuya hated him up until about 3 years ago when their "relationship" if one could even call it that took an unexpected turn…

()()

_It happened during a stuffy garden party. His family had been invited to the Kuchiki manor solely for the whole purpose so his mother could show off her paintings-seemed the owner and head of the Kuchiki family had taken quite an interest in Masaki's work and although Ichigo had no desire to go at first in the end he decided that supporting his mother outweighed his disgust for the noble bunch. _

_Well his main disgust/irritation was centered-focused-aimed at the young "Prince"…Byakuya…_

_Ichigo spotted the raven-haired youth sitting at one lone table sipping tea and reading a book. Most likely a novel in a foreign script-seemingly lost in his own world-tuning out everyone and everything around him-carrying on as though he didn't even hold the slightest bit of interest in well…ANYTNING._

_It pissed Ichigo off. And often more than not he wished to spin little fantasies in his head about how he would take the spoiled prince down a peg-he'd imagine splitting Byakuya's perfect lips with one of his own curled up fists-imagined blood splattering on Byakuya's pristine white dress shirt-light green silk scarf-ugly pleated pants. Ah it would be grand._

_But Ichigo did not wish to cause problems-the last thing he wanted to do was upset or embarrass his mother. The last thing he wished to do was disappoint the women who meant so much to him so he approached the dark haired youth in a calm and normal fashion-or well as normal as he could manage._

_()()_

_Ichigo would not go so far as to knock the book out of Byakuya's hands for he himself held a certain fondness for leather bindings and faded parchment. _

_Besides the book was not his target. The book isn't what irritated the orange haired youth. The book was not the one who continuously snubbed an offered hand of friendship-the book wasn't the one who turned his nose up at him-the book wasn't the one who pinned him with such a frosty glare. _

_Ichigo put his hand over the book-demanding that Byakuya pay attention to him-the 'I will not be ignored' part was left unsaid._

_A barely noticeable twitch of a elegant lack brow, Byakuya straightened his already sickeningly perfect posture and pinned Ichigo with that infamous glare._

_Ichigo refused to be intimidated. He only grinned cheekily "So ready to take 5 minutes out of your boring straight laced life, act like a teenager and have some fun?"_

_Wait! What? That wasn't what he planned to say-he really intended to-_

"_Kurosaki Ichigo I do not know why you continuously invite yourself into my home and come to pester me nor do I care but you will not stand on my property and tell me what I should and not being doing with my time. As for that woman and her "art work"-it does not interest me in the least."_

_Ichigo tried to be good-no honestly he did but he couldn't just stand here while Byakuya insulted his mother-_

"_BASTARD!" Letting out a battle cry better suited for a gladiator in an arena Ichigo slammed his fist right into Byakuya's perfect porcelain white face and grinned as the sound reached his ears-just like music._

_He expected the dark-haired youths' stone cold façade to crack-was sure that any minute now Byakuya would let out a dramatic cry-call for his servant-command that they _

'_**Escort this plebeian scum off of my property at once!'**_

_What Ichigo did not expect was the light up curve to Byakuya's lips-he did not count on the pompous youth pulling his shoulder length glassy black locks up into a pony tail-did not expect the raven-haired teen to roll up the sleeves on his shirt which had been starched, ironed and pressed each morning-he did not expect Byakuya to retaliate-with a punch so hard that it sent him reeling…_

_Reeling-flying into the next table over where thankfully two elderly women were previously sitting at had moved out of the way moments before the crash-_

_()()_

"_You are sorely mistaken if you did not expect me to retaliate, Kurosaki Ichigo."_

_Ichigo felt a mixture of confusion and anger. Still having a hard time wrapping his brain around what happened-Byakuya had punched him-HARD-_

_His head was spinning-the other youths' uber shiny shoes had doubled_

"_If you wish to continue this fight we will do so in the house-I have no need for spectators."_

_He did not quite understand-was Byakuya giving him permission to swing another punch?_

_Well there was point in lying around staring up at the big blue sky when the raven-haired youth had already retreated, so Ichigo brushed himself off, stood up once the garden stopped spinning and went into the house._

_()()_

"_I'm in the drawing room."_

_Ichigo raised a brow. 'Drawing room-the hell?'_

_Okay this was getting a little weird. Why was he suddenly getting the feeling that Byakuya did not wish to continue their fight at all?_

_Proceeding with a bit of caution Ichigo followed the sound of the dark-haired teens' voice._

_()()_

_Byakuya was sitting on a velvet red sofa looking as calm and composed as ever-a glass of water in hand-_

"_Uh?"_

"_You seem confused."_

"_I am."_

_A barely noticeable rolling of silver-lilac eyes. _

_Byakuya set the glass of water down on the edge of the coffee table. "What is there to be confused about? I am here, you are here go ahead and hit me if you like. However I will warn you now that if you should choose to do so what happened outside just a few minutes ago will seem like childs' play compared to what I will do to you."_

_The fuck?_

_Ichigo was beginning to get a headache. The whole thing seemed weird and pointless now. Letting out a sigh he sat down on the other end of the sofa._

_A staring contest between him and Byakuya ensued._

_Ichigo wasn't entirely sure why this was happening-what they were doing-he reasoned he just wanted understand the other teen._

_The two sat there for minutes-quite possibly hours staring at each other in silence._

_()()_

"_You are a very strange person, Kurosaki Ichigo."_

_At last Byakuya broke the silence._

_Ichigo snorted, "You're one to talk. I mean do you even own anything that doesn't have beads or jewels or fancy frills or bows on it?"_

"_Do you have a problem with my wardrobe, Kurosaki?"_

"_Well no not exactly I mean its alright I guess just a bit out dated-_

"_Hm, and I suppose you want to give me pointers on style?"_

"_Uh no I just-arghhhh do you do anything normal guys our age do-play videogames-watch porn-smoke pot?"_

_Byakuya's eyes flickered "You're asking me if I watch porn?"_

_Why did Ichigo suddenly feel as though all of his deepest, darkest secrets were about to be exposed when all Byakuya did was repeat his question-when all other boy did was look at him with those eyes? Those cold eyes? Why did he suddenly wish to look away? Had he spaced out during their staring contest and was now imagining things or did the raven-haired youth move closer to him?_

"_Are you a fan of porn Kurosaki?"_

_Yes it was official-Ichigo's brain had gone out to lunch-Byakuya's hit had been much harder than he thought-he was not hallucinating he was in a damn coma and the noble youth was haunting him in his dreams-he had to be because there was no way the Kuchiki prince could emit such a heated gaze-there was no way Byakuya could-_

_Ichigo's eyes widened and then narrowed suspiciously at the hand that was now resting on his thigh._

_What was Byakuya doing? Where the hell had this come from?_

_And more importantly why the hell wasn't he trying to push the other boy away?_

_Ichigo felt his face grow warm as the hand (delicate, thin, almost like a girl or a noble queen) moved higher and higher. Byakuya's face remained impassive-as if he didn't know nor care about the effect he was having on the orange haired youth-the only indication-the only sign that showed that the raven-haired teen was not entirely unaffected was his eyes-_

_Eyes which had once burned Ichigo with their frosty and bitter chill now burned hotly-Ichigo felt his face grow warmer-felt a lump form in his throat-he squirmed at the all too familiar sensation rising-slowly and steadily building up in him-threatening to over come his senses._

_Ichigo cursed and dug his fingers into his palms wishing to calm himself-there was absolutely no way he could get hard in front of another guy-he couldn't bare the shame and the humiliation. Byakuya was-hell he wasn't sure but there was no way he-_

"_Have you nothing more to say, Kurosaki?"_

_The hand stilled but it didn't matter since Byakuya was almost practically on top of him now!_

_When the hell-Ichigo had to put a stop to this NOW!_

_What was he supposed to say/do in a situation like this?_

"_Have you been struck speechless for once?" There was clear amusement in Byakuya's tone now-the hand resumed its exploration-higher higher and-_

"_Don't!"_

_Nice save!_

_Ichigo mentally patted himself on the back-happy that moments before Byakuya's hand had connected with his slowly rising bulge he had managed to halt the other youth in his movements-managed to stay "normal" for at least a little while longer._

_Byakuya's hand fell back to his side and he sat up straight and studied Ichigo for a moment. "So you aren't the least bit interested in being pleasured, very well-," a teasing smirk (Ichigo blinked several times not quite believing what he was seeing-_

_Byakuya's deceptively delicate looking hands moved towards the zipper on his pleated pants "I will take my pleasure from you!"_

_Woah! Slow down! Back up! Now Byakuya was talking crazy-surely he didn't expect Ichigo to-_

_Ichigo's mouth dropped open but before he could even utter out a gasp or a protest-he found his nose buried in a trimmed black bush and his mouth full of-_

()()

"**SALT PLEASE!"**

Ichigo jumped at the booming noise-nearly falling out of his seat in the process.

Shit! How could he have fallen so deeply into a memory that he would entirely forget that he was in the middle of dinner with his family and friends.

Damn it!

"Ichigo are you alright?" Worry colored his mothers' tone.

"I'm-uh I'm fine." He dared to look up only to find Ai smirking into her glass of wine, Byakuya looking at with pity? His moronic old man waving his hands wildly-

"It's not nice to hog the salt all to yourself Ichigo, you know it adds extra flavor to your mothers' delicious roast now stop being selfish and hand it over!"

Another minute of the goats yelling and Ichigo vowed he would throw the damn salt. Ai continued to smirk and Byakuya continued to look at him as though he were a lost abandoned creature, his mother bit her bottom lip "Ichigo are you feeling alright?"

He sent the woman a reassuring smile "I'm fine Kaa-san just a bit lost in thought."

()()

An hour later and Ichigo decided that he'd had more than enough-he needed some air-needed some space-needed to leave-no destination in mind he kissed his mother on the cheek, grabbed his jean jacket and walked out the door.

()()

ELECTRIC GRAPE

Ichigo had never heard of the electric grape before which led him to believe that it had been built while he had been away from Karakura Town. He'd never been a major fan of alcohol but maybe a glass or two was just what he needed.

()()

It wasn't overly crowded inside nor was the music blasting loud enough to make one go deaf. He headed straight for the bar because all of the tables were occupied and he wasn't in the mood to strike up conversations with strangers.

()()

"What can I get for ya hun?"

The bartender was actually a lot more like a barmaid with her ginger blonde hair, sparkling powder blue eyes, full luscious lips, the dark purple tank top she had on was cut so ridiculously low she might as well not be wearing it at all since did nothing to hide or support her massive jugs.

If Ichigo wasn't so painfully queer he would have leaned across the bar top and asked her out.

"Cranberry vodka on the rocks, I guess."

She smiled and winked. It was almost as if she had been expecting it of him.

"Twist of lime?"

"Um yeah sure not."

She poured the drink and added the lime before setting it down in front of him. "Anything else?"

Ichigo chose to ignore the purr in her voice and took a sip from his drink.

"So what's your name cutie?"

Ichigo scowled and he was sure that even with his head bowed the woman would be able to see it through the reflection of the glass counter top. He absolutely detested being called cute or any other variation of the word that made him feel anything but manly.

"Aww come on don't be such a sour puss. I'm Rangiku but everyone calls me Ran-chan," she looked like she wanted him to shake her hand and offer his own name.

"I'm Ic-

"Matsumoto is it really too much to just carry out a simple task without sinking your claws into half our clientele?"

Ichigo wasn't sure where the other voice was coming from nor did he care-if the woman was getting chewed out by her boss or whatever it wasn't any of his concern. He continued to sit and drink.

()()

A new world record for the slowest drinker in his history goes to –

'_What the hell am I even doing here? Its not like I know anyone-hell its not like anyone in here even remotely is my type-_

A large had slamming down on top of the bar startled him a bit. Ichigo was not normally one to pick fights unless it was absolutely necessary but he didn't have the patience to deal with some drunken ass idiot! Just as he was about to turn around and tell the guy to fuck off-the words died on his lips at the sound of-

"You got anything here that isn't watered down?"

Ichigo's eyes widened. He knew that voice-would never forget the guttural rasp belonging to Zaraki but what were the odds of his Sergeant being here in this very same bar on this very same night? What were the chances of the man-the orange berry froze up just then-was it possible-had the man followed him?

And if so-no no that was just stupid the man just probably lived around here-wait but if that was true how come they had never crossed paths before? It wasn't like Karakura Town was particularly large and-

Ichigo suddenly wished he brought his cap at least then he could sneak out without Zaraki noticing-wait sneak out? What was he a child? It wasn't like his commanding officer was a bad man or anything-he just wanted a drink like any average person-the scent of aftershave and mountain springs invaded Ichigo's senses…not that he spent a great deal of time wondering what Zaraki smelled like but it was quite unexpected-

"I never woulda pegged you to be a liar Ichigo."

Ichigo swallowed. The fine baby hairs on the back of his neck prickled as Zaraki stood behind him- 

But wait what the hell was the man talking about? Since when was he a liar?

Torn between standing up to salute the man and flipping the bird Ichigo downed the rest of his drink and ignored the horrible screeching of his chair against the floor as he stood up to the do the former-after all-vacation leave or not-Zaraki was still older than him and he owed the man a certain level of respect.

()()

(VIEW SWITCH)

Kenpachi had burned the image of the boys' perfect backside (anyone under 30 was a boy to him!) in his mind and so there was no way he could ever make a mistake.

While he wasn't a man who believed in luck and destiny and shit like that he knew that his chances of running into Ichigo were pretty high after he had received the information necessary to find out where the youth lived.

From what Kenpachi gathered the berry wasn't the type who wished to draw attention to himself so of course he found him in a bar that wasn't all that well known.

()()

_The moment the young man had exited the helicopter with the other trainees his bright orange locks (although partially hidden under a black baseball cap) stood out amongst the sea or brown and gold. With skin that looked smooth, sun-kissed and probably smelled of peaches, slight curved thin brows, high boyish looking cheekbones, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that flattered his lithe yet muscular body perfectly._

_Kenpachi didn't usually get himself mixed up with some fresh faced youth-let alone a male but there was something about this one that captured his interest-_

_There was a scowl on the youths' lips-rather it was from practically being blinded by the hot sun rays or because he had been forced/tricked into joining the military Kenpachi did not know-but he would soon find out…in addition he would make it his mission to get the boy to make a different expression-even if it meant abusing his authority a bit._

_()()_

_There was standard routine and then there was Sergeant Zaraki Kenpachi's way of doing things…of course the man had no interest in the other youths' he didn't care one way or another if they passed out from heat exhaustion or fell of the mountain side-his only interest lie in the scowling orange-haired teen whose ass was just too perky to be considered normal for a guy._

_It was the kind of ass that high-end strippers and super models paid for and Kenpachi would bet his left nut sac that the youth didn't have a clue about the effect he was having on him. It was only because he was a man of 37 years old that he did not prematurely shoot a load off in his pants. _

_()()_

_Ordering the strawberry tangelo to strip before dropping to his knees and doing 22 sets of pushups-_

_Face turning a brilliant red with in the span of mere seconds said strawberry looked ready to protest-_

_Gray green eyes narrowed and the youth promptly shut his mouth and followed the order without further compliant._

_()()_

"_What the hell are the rest of you gawking at?-Did I tell you to stop?" A glare "Move your asses!"_

"_Sir, yes sir!"_

_()()_

_Kenpachi pressed his boot clad foot down on top of the youths' back-forcing slightly perky nipples (again so not normal for a guy!) and a softened peach colored penis to become one with the soil-he purposely ignored the way the youth winced and groaned not caring in the least if what he was doing was considered wrong or cruel or completely against the code-completely ignoring the mixtures of approval and dislike coming from the other youths'-as if their opinions mattered to him._

_This had nothing to do with them. This was all about Ichigo. He had to make it clear to the orange berry that flaunting his perfect ass day after day came with consequences. This wasn't about punishment-this was about asserting his authority because boys were naturally rebellious and as their commander it was his job to train them._

_It wasn't all about his inner secret pleasures of course-no he was technically still following the course-he was preparing these snot nosed, pimple faced, hormone crazed teens for battle-but there were many kinds of battle-not just the one where you run out to the battlefield and fire off bullets in the air._

_But the battle of life._

_Kenpachi grinned as the orange berry swallowed a mouthful of soil._

_A natural reaction. Good. Good. It guaranteed that the future would bring about grander things._

_()()_

_It wasn't until the sun had set and the group of boys were covered from head to toe in sweat and grime that Sergeant Zaraki gave them permission to catch a 5 minute breather._

_Grumbling and moans of protest reached Kenpachi's ears-_

"_Pathetic! What a Pathetic bunch of pansies you all are!"_

_More grumbling…more moaning…_

_No not all…there was one who was-_

"_What the hell are you grinning about Ichigo? Get your ass back in line and up that mountain!"_

_()()_

Ichigo heard a giggle from behind and concluded that it was probably the coming from bar maid.

"Sergeant Zaraki, what brings you all the way to Karakura Town sir?"

More giggling and then a snort

"Knock off that crap Ichigo, I told you to call me Kenpachi didn't I?"

"Yes sir you did but I-

Kenpachi glared and try try as he might it sent a delightful shiver through Ichigo's body.

"Sit back down before you make some sort of spectacle of yourself."

Kenpachi's voice was low and gruff but it didn't carry that familiar barking tone that Ichigo had grown accustomed to-rather the mans' entire approach was…he seemed more friendly?

No that wasn't quite the right word…Kenpachi had been plenty friendly before this was…well Ichigo wasn't quite sure what it was but he liked it-liked it a lot.

()()

"So what brings you to Karakura Town, s-er Kenpachi?"

Kenpachi's voice turned somber "I buried someone here."

Someone? Was it possible, thought Ichigo, that the man was speaking of a loved one-he didn't seem like the type who would settle down and marry some broad but-

"I'm sorry."

Kenpachi leaned back only to remember a moment too late that he was sitting on a stool and not a chair- it was based on quick reflexes alone that Ichigo had managed to catch the man-although it was certainly not an easy task.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

"…"

"…"

"Um I-

An indifferent shrug, "It's not a big deal. People live, people die, people are reborn."

Yes that was true but-

"Was it-

"I don't want to talk about crap like that right now. Drink up Ichigo, you're not nearly intoxicated enough for me to properly seduce you."

Ichigo blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice?

Surely he was imagining things right? There was no way his-there was no way Kenpachi could actually-

He studied the older mans' face trying to look for some sign or something that would tell him that it was a joke-that his Sergeant was simply fucking with him-

Hmm fuck…it would be grand if they could get to that point-grander than grand actually.

Ichigo felt his pants tighten at his own thoughts and shifted in his seat.

"You got some where to be soldier?"

Kenpachi was teasing him now-since the man never addressed him as such-

"Um uh n-no- Ichigo scowled and felt his face grow warm-hating that his voice cracked ever so slightly. He cleared his throat and turned to meet Kenpachi's gaze dead on. Though for the life of him he couldn't tell what the man was thinking.

"Drink up, drink up I told you any chances of properly seducing you ain't gonna happen if you're like this."

And then Kenpachi was moving off the stool and away from him. Ichigo (understandably) felt rather confused-

"Where are yo-

"Don't worry about it Ichigo. Just drink and then we'll have some real fun."

It wasn't exactly a command and yet Ichigo felt no need to protest-on the contrary he snapped his fingers for another drink-no longer consuming cranberry vodka but whatever Kenpachi had put in front of his face-whiskey maybe? He didn't know-nor really care-but if getting more alcohol in his system would up his chances of being with his commander-then he was all for it.

()()

If Kenpachi were a lesser man he would have dragged Ichigo to the nearest love hotel with or without consent and had his wicked way with the youth. But Kenpachi had more restraint than that and besides why rush a good thing?

Gray green eyes scanned the bar. He'd never been much of a dancer or singer and the idea of making an ass out of himself in front of a bunch of horny and drunk idiots didn't appeal to him in the least but he had to show Ichigo that he was…that there was more to him than just barking out orders.

"Drink up Ichigo I'll be back."

()()

When Kenpachi said that he was planning to seduce him, Ichigo never would have imagined this particular scenario would come about. The man was seducing him by way of serenade and perhaps it was just the alcohol talking-making Ichigo think that the raspy baritone was the sexiest thing he had ever heard.

And as for the dancing part…well it was a lot more stomping then dancing but as the alcohol traveled further and further into Ichigo's brain the black tables and purple lamps faded away and its place…large tiki torches, green vines, coconut trees and large waterfalls-it was a jungle paradise and the main star-Kenpachi was no longer wearing jeans and a dego tee but a animal print toga and a brown butt flap-just like Tarzan only better.

Ichigo snorted half wondering why his intoxicated brain had spun such an image. No longer able to resist the "call" the orange berry climbed off of his stool and-

()()

The youth had responded to his little performance much more quickly then Kenpachi had expected. Ichigo was all too willing to get better acquainted-shamelessly moving his lithe toned body to the thumping music. Kenpachi in turn didn't waste any time and grabbed the very same delicious fleshy globes that had taunted him for months on end-drawing a surprised squeak from Ichigo with the action.

Kenpachi used the opportunity to fill Ichigo's pouty peach tinted mouth (now stained with cranberry) with his tongue-loving how the youth pulled him closer and deepened their kiss even more.

()()

Ichigo's eyes were so heavily glazed over-his mind deliciously buzzing that when the man stuck his meaty hand inside his pants and squeezed his aching hard on he didn't even bother to stifle a moan or clench his teeth or furrow his brows-he released his load decorating the inner lining of his pants and Kenpachi's closed fist-no doubt grinning like a damn fool as he did so.

"Gentleman as much as I hate to interrupt this lovely little session the Electric Grape is closing now so you need to leave."

It usually took another unwanted party member to bring Ichigo back to his senses-but this time he felt like whining-why was the fun ending so soon?

A hand came down on top of his ass smacking against his flesh so hard that it wouldn't come as a great shock if a bruise formed in a couple of hours-not that he was complaining because it was a pleasurable stinging sensation.

Cinnamon and coffee colored orbs dancing, tone playful "Thank you Sir, May I have another?"

Gray-green eyes darkened and a wide grin split across his Sergeants face, "Glutton for punishment are you solider?"

"Oh yes sir, for you see it is the only way I'll learn anything."

_Ah the many wonders of Mr. Alcohol_

_()()_

_THIS IS NOT A PORNO!_

"Sir is this really necessary?"

"That's entirely up to you Ichigo, you say you want it but the real question is how much do you want it-how much do you want ME?"

Only a man like Kenpachi could walk around inside a hotel suite wearing nothing more than shit kicking black combat boots and still manage to look so delicious intimidating-nearly making Ichigo (who was lucky enough to be a spectator) wet himself in more ways than one.

Dangling his thick and long cock in front of his face-reminding the orange berry of a pendulum-swinging back and forth back and forth -if Ichigo were a cat he would not have resisted batting at the swollen flesh no matter how much the man told him he could not touch-of course the youth didn't just wish to touch his Sergeant-he wanted to taste the man too but Kenpachi wasn't allowing it-at least not yet-

Letting out a groan at the unfairness of it all Ichigo thought back to how things had gotten to this point…

()()

Ichigo_ remembered following Kenpachi out of the bar or more accurately he remembered the man picking him up bridal style and being dumped into the back of Kenpachi's truck._

_He remembered fiddling with the dials on the radio before Kenpachi slapped his hands away and announced they were going to his hotel suite-_

_()()_

_Ichigo recalled the way he had acted in the elevator-he hadn't wanted to separate his lips or hands from Kenpachi for even a second-at one point he felt so damn horny-so consumed by lust that he was going to press the emergency stop button and demand that the good Sergeant fuck him right there inside the elevator._

_Of course Kenpachi had denied him his sweet release-instead of giving Ichigo what he wanted-what he NEEDED-the man continued to tease and fondle-even with 2 large fingers buried knuckle deep in his ass hole it wasn't enough._

_Not nearly enough!_

_()()_

"You look like you know how to use your mouth well enough but just to be sure I'm going to ask you to give me a little demonstration. Pretend my boot is my dick, take it into your mouth and suck."

Kenpachi couldn't be serious? He didn't really expect Ichigo to put a dirty boot in his mouth did he?

"Are you a man or not soldier?"

A taunt-a taunt that worked. A taunt that Ichigo could not refuse.

Mentally vowing to go to the doctors for a shot or 20 at the next free chance he got Ichigo lapped at the leather with his tongue-Kenpachi's eyes were fixed on him-the message was clear

'_Do a good job and you'll get a reward!'_

Relaxing his jaw muscles as best as he could Ichigo put the top half of the boot in his mouth-moaning from both the discomfort and the taste-he felt fingers in his hair-gripping at the spiky orange strands

"Ichigo if you don't start sucking like you MEAN it we'll never get anywhere."

The berry glared up at the wild haired man-no beast-yes how could he have ever thought of Kenpachi as a man when he was far from it?

"That's a good expression but you can do better than that."

The fingers in his hair tightened and Ichigo winced.

()()

As he remained down on his knees licking and sucking at the dirty leather Ichigo decided that the time would pass at a much quicker pace if he let his mind slip away-imagine a more enjoyable scenario.

_In a royal palace deep in the white sandy deserts where Kenpachi was King and he was his loyal footman-it was late in the evening and the good King was returning from a grand dinner party with the royal party-feeling a bit grumpy and anything but sociable he called for his royal footman._

_Ichigo wouldn't dare ever deny the good Kings' call for he was all too willing to be of service in anyway possible-_

_He would roll up his sleeves and draw a bath for his King-using only the very best bath oils and non-scented perfume money can buy-_

_Fighting to keep the blush off his face as his King disrobed-the image (no matter how many times the loyal footman had seen it) the reaction was the same-_

_Forcing himself to keep his tone as casual as possible and ignore the rising tent in his pants he would help his king into the massive marble bath that could easily seat 5 grown men and-_

_()()_

"_**You're really getting into this, huh Ichigo?"**_

Reality set back in as Kenpachi's laughter rang in his ears.Ichigo scowled hating that the man had chosen that moment to break his little fantasy-hating that the beast had brought him back to…

The sound of slapping and deep grunting also reached Ichigo's ears and although it put a bit of strain on his neck to stretch and look up at the man from his current position it was worth it-worth it because Kenpachi was jerking his meaty fleshy with his equally meaty hands-squeezing and pumping.

Ichigo wanted to taste it-had wanted to taste it for awhile now but he knew he wasn't in any position to make demands-so for now he'd just have to enjoy the show-and quite a show it was

()()

Face down ass up…that's the way isn't it?

Ichigo didn't plan on telling Kenpachi that he was technically a virgin-it would just kill the mood and his wild haired Sergeant would start treating him as though he was some kind of porcelain doll and that didn't appeal to him in the least.

Yes he was quite aware that another mans' cock was much bigger than a few fingers or toys but he would just have to grit his teeth and bare it-his body would eventually become accustomed to it-isn't that what all the books and movies said?

"You're so damn stiff, loosen the hell up!"

Just like Kenpachi had done to him back at the Electric Grape a hand came down to paddle Ichigo's ass and the berry echoed his previous words

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

He figured he could bluff his way through his uneasiness-his discomfort

"Heh, I'll give you whole lot more than that just stop being so damn frigid!"

Frigid? Ichigo wouldn't go so far as to call himself frigid-Kenpachi was being kind of mean now-

"Seriously I can't do anything to you when you're like this. You either want it or you don't-which is it?"

Maybe the reason Ichigo was having such difficulty with relaxing was because he felt exposed with his ass in the air-perhaps he could convince Kenpachi to change the position or-

He felt something which damn sure wasn't fingers or a feather move against the crease of his ass and his body tensed up even more-he heard a growl-seemed Kenpachi was growing frustrated-impatient-probably a mixture of both.

'_Well duh dumbass you ask for it and now that he's ready to give it to you you're acting like a lil' bitch-grow a fucking pair be a man Ichigo!'_

Perhaps his inner pep-talk/bitch fest would have been more effective if-

The man grabbed a hold of his hair once again forcing Ichigo to twist is neck-the orange berry ignored the way his muscles screamed at him as Kenpachi assaulted and possessed his mouth with purpose.

()()

As a man who spent a large chunk of his life in the military Kenpachi didn't know much about love or relationships.

Even his marriage to a woman which had lasted 3 years until both parties decided to call it quits had been the result of an arrangement his parents had made when he was in his youth.

Kenpachi wasn't a particularly gentle lover nor did he ever see the reason to be one. He didn't really give a damn about things like gender-in his opinion women weren't all that different from men-as long as there was pleasure given/received what the hell did the rest matter?

If he wished to paddle Ichigo's ass all night long he could do just that but that wasn't Kenpachi's aim-after all why waste time abusing a perfect ass when he'd much rather caress it with his fingers and tongue?

()()

Moving his hand down and in between thighs that really had no business being so damn smooth (especially not on a damn man!) and firmly cupping the youth and bringing him back to full mast-distraction was the major key here-

()()

A brilliant burst of light flashed across his vision-it wasn't white like so often depicted in fantasy rather it was many colors and it happened so damn quickly that Ichigo couldn't even fully wrap his brain around it.

It wasn't until the somewhat salty somewhat sweet taste of Kenpachi's cum covered fingers being pressed against his lips and pushed into his mouth that it dawned on the orange berry-

Not that he was slow to react per se but…

He could feel the mans' hardness pressing into his thigh now-leaving a thin trail of pre-cum. Ichigo squirmed away or rather he tried to-it proved rather impossible what with his sergeant holding him so tightly and all-Kenpachi was nuzzling his nose into his skin-making the berry feel warm all over.

Ichigo imagined that this must be what bear cubs felt like when being sheltered by their mother during hibernation season…well sort of-

Kenpachi's slow and shallow rocking motions gradually increased and Ichigo knew that the mans' patience was beginning to grow even thinner-the animalistic like growls and grunts reaching his ears made him shiver.

Ichigo felt his own anticipation and excitement grow-he grabbed hold of the beasts length-well as much of it as he could anyway and gave it a tug-

Hell if he would beg for it!

Not like he needed to since the beast was already in the process of ripping the foil wrapping off and rolling the condom on to his cock-but Ichigo couldn't decide if he was insulted or grateful-

"I'm clean, asshole."

A grin, "That might be so Ichigo but we're still not taking any chances."

"What the hell is that supposed to mph ahhh-!"

Anything the orange berry had left to say or bitch about was effectively silenced as Kenpachi pressed into him with one deep thrust filling him in a way he had never been filled before.

"Too much Ichigo?"

The bastard was taunting him again. Ichigo would not be intimidated. Eyes fierce he glared up at the man and hissed "Move!" through gritted teeth.

Kenpachi pulled out and brushed his lips against Ichigo's own

"What's that soldier? You're going to have to speak up louder I can't hear you."

"What are you deaf I said t-ngahhh!"

Ichigo bit back a harsh cry when fingers took turns twisting each of his nipples-he retaliated by clawing at Kenpachi's back with his nails and snarled at the man "I said move you bas-gah!"

Teeth imbedded themselves into his left shoulder-there was no doubt in the youths mind that it would turn into a bruise by morning-

Two could play at that game, thought Ichigo, just as soon as he figured out how to get out from under the man Sergeant Zaraki would be in for one hell of a surprise-but trying to move then man off of him was like trying to move a freaking anvil-impossible-

And even as Ichigo dug his nails deeper into Kenpachi's back it didn't seem to make a damn difference-letting out a huff of frustration he ceased all movements and decided to try a different tactic.

"Permission to make a request, sir?"

Ichigo could feel Kenpachi's grin before he saw it

"Permission granted, solider."

"I want more, please?"

So much to Ichigo's annoyance he had to wind up begging in the end anyway-ah well better luck next time-

Kenpachi snorted and shook his head. "Try again, those aren't the right words."

Ichigo furrowed his orange brows-what the hell was the man talking about now-why was Kenpachi teasing him when they had already reached the main event-he could still feel the thick hard cock teasing his puckered entrance so why the hell was the man stalling?

"Kenpachi _come on!"_

He dug his heels into the mans' spine-trying to get what he wanted but Kenpachi-the asshole-was just grinning down at him-

"Seriously I'm falling asleep here!"

Kenpachi's grin widened and he grabbed Ichigo's cock, which anxiously twitched and dripped in his hold "Seems like you're plenty awake to me, Ichigo."

A scowl. Ichigo was growing sick and tiered of this game or whatever the hell it was the wild haired sergeant was doing. "If you don't hurry up and finish what you started I'll-

Gray green eyes narrowed and a raspy growl reached the orange berrys' ears "You'll do what Ichigo?"

"I'll arggggh come on I already said I _ngh-_if you think I'll be satisfied simply by_ nghhh rig-nahh gahh ahhh-_

Bastard honestly thought he could simply jerk him off and be done with it-bastard actually thought

"I told you that I-I waaahhh-wanted it countless times so why the hell are you tak-_ahhh!"_

That was more like it.

Ah multitasking-well Ichigo could certainly appreciate that sort of ability-really though he still kind of wanted to punch Kenpachi for making him wait so damn long before he re-entered his body-

Of course any further bitching or lecturing was effectively cut off by his own screams-just when he thought he felt all that there was to feel Kenpachi switched the angle just a little bit and had some how managed to penetrate Ichigo even deeper-

"Wrap your legs around my shoulders and don't let go."

Ignoring his multiple muscle spasms and the obvious fact that he would probably have a great deal of difficult walking for the next three weeks the youth grinned up at his Sergeant cheekily "Is that an order, sir?"

()()

_EVER AFTER_

It should come as no real great surprise or shock and Ichigo wasn't surprised-not really-after all what chance of a future did he have with Kenpachi anyway?

Still when Ichigo awoke the next morning to find his Sergeant gone, no sign or trace of the man having ever been there (well barring the sticky white substance clinging to his body and hair and the faint smell of sex in the air) reality set in. Hurt, disappointment and perhaps a smidge of sadness and heartache washed over him.

The sun peaked through the curtains casting a light on the empty spot on the bed.

Ichigo felt like punching something but what was the point?

'_This is stupid! Why am I acting like some love sick teenage girl?'_

Sitting here feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to change facts.

SO after another 10-15 minutes of moping around Ichigo climbed of the bed and rummaged around the room in search of his clothes.

The sooner he left the better.

()()

Not really sure how he should explain why he was checking out of a hotel that Kenpachi rented-Ichigo set down what he estimated would be a decent amount of cash and his key card and turned to leave.

He got about as far as the staircase when the sound of heels clicking across the tiled floor reached his ears and a woman called out to him

"Excuse me young man I'm sorry to come after you so suddenly but you left before I could give you something."

Ichigo stopped and turned not sure what the front desk manager from the hotel wished to give him-raising a curious brow he asked "You have something for me?"

The woman tucked a loose strand of apple green colored hair behind her ear and grinned at him brightly "Yes I was instructed to give this to you the moment I spotted you." She handed him a medium sized black box.

"What is it?"

"I have no idea," here the woman winked "But why don't you open it and find out!"

Ichigo resisted the urge to roll his eye, thanked the woman and continued on his way out the door.

()()

When he reached the outside he decided to end the suspense and lifted the lid on the box.

_Dog tags?_

The hell?

Ichigo flipped the tags over hoping that it might give him some clue as to who had sent him such items-

_**Property of Zaraki Kenpachi**_

He blinked. Surely this had to be some kind of joke right? Right?

The sound of footsteps could be heard-heavy footsteps-

No it couldn't be could it?

Ichigo didn't want to get his hopes up but-

"How bout it Ichigo, instead of being a military dog why don't you become my dog?"

**THE END**

()()

LONG LIVE KENxICHI !


	10. STUFFED, TUCKED AND PLUCKED PREVIEW!

Disclaimer: SLY WISHES SHE HAD HAIR AS BRIGHT AS ICHIGO'S AND A SMOOTH AS BYAKUYA'S. SHE ALSO WISHES BLEACH BELONGED TO HER, IT DOES NOT!

Greetings to the readers/fans of the Scattered Shots collection. It's been quite some time since this collection has been touched. Bad, sly, bad. But it is in no way completed or abandoned.

And now I invite you to join me for a preview of an up and coming one-shot entitled

Stuffed Tucked and Plucked: Under the Moonlight

(BYAKUYA x ICHIGO)

_The first time Ichigo spotted Byakuya, the seventeen year old berry finally understood what it meant to have a massive nosebleed first hand. _

_()()()_

_He was in the middle of playing a one on one game of basketball with Rukia when the stoic faced beauty pulled in to the Kuchiki drive way._

_So consumed with such sudden lust as he was, Ichigo failed to see and catch the ball flying towards him. He didn't even register the pain of the ball bouncing off the back of his head until he heard his friend snickering behind him._

"_Something caught your eye Ichigo?"_

_Understatement of the century._

"_Who is that?"_

_Rukia followed her friends' gaze and then groaned inwardly. 'Oh no not this again.'_

_Everytime her older brother returned home, one or several of her friends would fall in full-blown lust with the man. And then the teen girl would have to spend the next 2-3 weeks or however long it took, trying to convince her friend (s) that Byakuya nii-sama wasn't interested in dating._

_And when her friend (s) asked why not? Rukia would have no other choice but to go into a long story about how Byakuya was bitter and jaded and rather spend the rest of his life alone obsessing over the one who got away (AKA Hisana AKA her sister)-which would then lead to the explanation about how, she, Rukia, was only a Kuchiki by default because of Byakuya and Hisana's 3 month long engagement, a relationship that had crashed and burned before it even got off the ground._

_Hisana was now living overseas with her European lover and she changed her name to Heather or Hannah or something and hadn't spoken to anyone (including Rukia) in years. It was long, exhausting and complicated and Rukia was getting a headache just thinking about it._

_She never thought that when she befriended Ichigo, that she would have to worry about such a thing. The fact that the berry apparently batted for both teams wasn't really all that shocking._

_Rukia had had her suspicions even at the very beginning when Ichigo first rolled into the city. He had been dressed just a little too well and had smelled a little too fresh to be completely straight. So no, that wasn't what was throwing the young ravenette for a loop._

_It was the idea that Ichigo was attracted to Byakuya specifically. _

_The man was a complete and polar opposite of the berry. It would be like pairing an artic wolf with a fire neko. Not a likely coupling. Byakuya was reserved, tight-lipped and emotionally detached while Ichigo had a natural bright, vibrant energy that drew others to him._

_So with this thought in mind, Rukia reached a decision. She would save her friend from a lifetime of disappointment and heartache._

"_Before you do something really dumb like walking over there and asking him out, I should warn you now that Byakuya nii-sama is a stubborn man whose stuck in his ways. He's not interested in a relationship so quit while you're ahead and don't waste your time."_

_Ichigo, completely unaware of the many and millions of thoughts racing in the ravenette's head, unaware of the complexity of Byakuya's character (or simply choosing not to care) continued his little drool session. _

_He noted that the stoic beauty sure was taking a long time to park the car._

_Ichigo decided he would give the man a few pointers. Well once he had managed to stop up the blood dripping from his nose, that is._

_Only dimly registering the small hand now frantically being waved in front of his face._

"_Hello! Ichigo are you even listening to me?"_

_Ichigo knew he should stop being rude, knew that he should turn and answer Rukia or at least agree to continue their game but the lust-struck teen didn't want to tear his gaze away from such a prime piece of eye candy._

_Milky white skin, dark glossy locks, pale icy eyes._

_They didn't have men like Byakuya back home-Ichigo knew for a fact since he'd been up and down every block and beach of Karakura Town. Not that Ichigo hadn't come across the occasional sexy beast or delicious bad boy during his time here in Seiretei because he had but Byakuya was- the man was so much more._

_Byakuya was the kind of man Ichigo could bring home to his mother. The kind of man Ichigo could introduce to his two younger sisters._

_The berry wiped his face on his jersey and started towards the man he inwardly vowed to marry one day…_

_~_

COMING IN APRIL

_HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE_

_~SLY~_


	11. STUFFED, TUCKED PLUCKED FIRST HALF

**Disclaimer: SLY RECENTLY WENT TO AN ANIME CONVENTION AND WAS UBER SADENED BY THE FACT THAT THERE WEREN'T THAT MANY FANS OF BLEACH…SIGHS, in spite of all this her love for BLEACH has not died but only grown stronger. LOVE YOU KUBO-SENSEI! **

_**Mini shout out to Castiel4Life**_…thank you for your nudge..getting sly back in the writing groove!

A/N This was supposed to be a one-shot all posted in one long lengthy sitting…it was also supposed to be finished by April…such is not the case… these things happen. It is June and it will be posted in parts…so much for the title Scattered Shots right? I blame it on the fact that all my online friends have dropped off the grid. Well that along with the BS's of personal life. 'Tis hard to feel inspired. Sighs. Plus I haven't updated since like March…so this is better than nothing right? Because not posting…that's like awful. Anyway ramble over. Phew.

**ENJOY!**

BIG THANKS IN ADVANCE TO ALL WHO READ/FAVE/DROP A REVIEW/FOLLOW SLY'S WORKS!

Ichigo~Berry

Byakuya~Stoic Beauty

Rukia~Ravenette

_**Bold Italics**_~Inner thoughts

()()() ~ Scene change

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, age-gap, spelling, grammar, punctuation, switching views, run-ons, cross-dressing, thin-plot, humor, pervy berry, etc…

Stuffed Tucked and Plucked: Under the Moonlight

(BYAKUYA x ICHIGO)

()()

_The first time Ichigo spotted Byakuya, the seventeen year old berry finally understood what it meant to have a massive nosebleed first hand. _

_()()()_

He was in the middle of playing a one on one game of basketball with Rukia when the stoic faced beauty pulled in to the Kuchiki drive way.

So consumed with such sudden lust as he was, Ichigo failed to see and catch the ball flying towards him. He didn't even register the pain of the ball bouncing off the back of his head until he heard his friend snickering behind him.

"Something caught your eye Ichigo?"

Understatement of the century.

"Who is that?"

Rukia followed her friends' gaze and then groaned inwardly. _**'Oh no not this again.'**_

Every time her older brother returned home, one or several of her friends would fall in full-blown lust with the man.

And then the teen girl would have to spend the next 2-3 weeks or however long it took, trying to convince her friend (s) that Byakuya nii-sama wasn't interested in dating.

And when her friend (s) asked why not? Rukia would have no other choice but to go into a long story about how Byakuya was bitter and jaded and rather spend the rest of his life alone obsessing over the one who got away (AKA Hisana AKA her sister)-which would then lead to the explanation about how, she, Rukia, was only a Kuchiki by default because of Byakuya and Hisana's 3 month long engagement, a relationship that had crashed and burned before it even got off the ground.

Hisana was now living overseas with her European lover and she changed her name to Heather or Hannah or something and hadn't spoken to anyone (including Rukia) in years.

It was long, exhausting and complicated tale and Rukia was getting a headache just thinking about retelling it.

She never thought that when she befriended Ichigo, that she would have to worry about such a thing. The fact that the berry apparently batted for both teams wasn't really all that shocking.

Rukia had had her suspicions even at the very beginning when Ichigo first rolled into the city. He'd been dressed just a little too well and had smelled a little too fresh to be completely straight. So no, that wasn't what was throwing the young ravenette for a loop.

It was the idea that Ichigo was attracted to Byakuya specifically.

The man was a complete and polar opposite of the berry. It would be like pairing an artic wolf with a fire neko. Not a likely coupling. Byakuya was reserved, tight-lipped and emotionally detached while Ichigo had a natural bright, vibrant energy that drew others to him.

So with this thought in mind, Rukia reached a decision. She would save her friend from a lifetime of disappointment and heartache.

"Before you do something really dumb like walking over there and asking him out, I should warn you now that Byakuya nii-sama is a stubborn man whose stuck in his ways. He's not interested in a relationship so quit while you're ahead and don't waste your time."

Ichigo, completely unaware of the many and millions of thoughts racing in the ravenette's head, unaware of the complexity of Byakuya's character (or simply choosing not to care) continued his little drool session.

He noted that the stoic beauty sure was taking a long time to park the car.

Ichigo decided he would give the man a few pointers. Well once he had managed to stop up the blood dripping from his nose, that is.

Only dimly registering the small hand now frantically being waved in front of his face.

"Hello! Ichigo are you even listening to me?"

Ichigo knew he should stop being rude, knew that he should turn and answer Rukia or at least agree to continue their game but the lust-struck teen didn't want to tear his gaze away from such a prime piece of eye candy.

Milky white skin, dark glossy locks, pale icy eyes.

They didn't have men like Byakuya back home-Ichigo knew for a fact since he'd been up and down every block and beach of Karakura Town.

Not that Ichigo hadn't come across the occasional sexy beast or delicious bad boy during his time here in Seiretei-because he had but Byakuya was- the man was so much more.

Byakuya was the kind of man Ichigo could bring home to his mother. The kind of man Ichigo could introduce to his two younger sisters.

The berry wiped his face on his jersey and started towards the man he inwardly vowed to marry one day…

Or at least that had been the plan until Rukia tugged the back of his jersey and hissed "No! What do you think you're doing?"

An orange brow twitched in irritation. Hadn't Rukia even listened to a word he'd just said? "I'm walking over there to introduce myself to Byakuya." Ichigo tugged his jersey free and started towards the stoic beauty once more but Rukia pulled him back.

"No! You can't just waltz on over there with blood stains on your clothes!"

Although the ravenette was making a good point Ichigo wasn't going to worry over something silly like his less than perfect appearance.

Once Byakuya got a good look at his ass, the man wouldn't care about how he was dressed. Ichigo was sure of it.

"He's the one for me I can feel it!"

The ravenette's silver-blues widened so much they practically popped out of their sockets. It would have been comical if Rukia was laughing but she wasn't.

It was enough to snap Ichigo from his temporary dream faze.

The berry mentally berated him self. _**'Damn how could I be so stupid? Of course this must come as a great shock to her, the fact that I'm into guys.'**_

Ichigo scratched the back of his head suddenly feeling a bit sheepish. "Uh look Rukia it's not like I wanted to keep this a secret from you or anything uh I was just waiting for the right time to tell you and well now is a good a time as any I guess right?"

Rukia was frowning. "What are you talking about Ichigo? You think I wasn't aware of your preferences?" An eye roll, "Stop wasting time and just go over there and talk to Nii-sama."

'_**Not that it will do you any good but its not like I didn't try and warn you.'**_

Ichigo grinned brightly. "Thanks Rukia I knew I could count on you." He licked four of his fingers and attempted to brush his unruly orange locks into some semblance of order. "How do I look?"

In all honesty Rukia thought her berry friend looked like a jackass but she didn't want to waste any more time and drag out this nightmare longer than necessary so instead she gave Ichigo two thumbs up "Go get em' tiger!"

()()

ROUND ONE

The berry's grin was brighter than the damn sun as he noted that Byakuya was only about an inch or two taller than him when he stepped out of the car and stood to his full height.

He held up his hand, a casual friendly sort of greeting, "Yo! I'm Ichigo and you're Byakuya right?"

When Byakuya offered no response Ichigo chalked it up to the weather. The stoic beauty-no_ HIS_ stoic beauty was dressed in a suit and tie in the horrible summer heat.

The man had probably just come straight from the office and so naturally the last thing he'd wish for his to carry on a conversation with the sun beating on his back and sweat dripping from his noble brow.

It would be okay though. This wouldn't take long.

Ichigo leaned against the car and turned up the charm "So anyway I noticed you had a bit of trouble parking this beauty just now,"

He gave "said beauty" an appreciative pat, "Mind if I-?" And then with out waiting for a verbal response or even so much as a brow lift, Ichigo reached his hand through the open window and lifted the lock on the door, opened it and poked his head inside. "Ah! You drive a stick? _Nice_!"

()

Rukia inwardly cringed and groaned at the same time. Really of all the lines Ichigo could have run with he had to pick _that _one? She did not miss the all too noticeable purr in the berry's tone either.

Byakuya Nii-sama still hadn't said a single word.

That was never a good sign.

The young ravenette wasn't sure she could listen another minute. Wasn't sure she could continue to stand back while Ichigo made a complete fool out of himself.

()()

Ichigo let his fingers glide along the smooth leather interior and then looked over his shoulder and back up at Byakuya.

There was nothing innocent or casual or discreet about the way he shamelessly swept his gaze over each and every delicious inch of Byakuya's frame.

The man stood there stiffly, lips drawn into a tight line. The dramatic arch of his threaded brow twitched.

Licking his sun-kissed lips, Ichigo briefly wondered how long it would take to turn the stoic beauty's frown upside down.

The berry caressed the leather interior for another moment or so and then continued, "So listen if you plan on stickin' around here for awhile I'll be more than happy give you a few pointers, _if_ you're interested?" (The "I'll make it worth your while!' was left unsaid)

()()

Byakuya's perfect brows knitted together. "Rukia who is this loud _being _currently **molesting** my _prized_ Miata and _stinking_ up our drive way?"

Rukia frowned. Nii-sama's voice was cold and filled with complete and utter disdain. Byakuya hadn't found Ichigo's little "show" just now to be even the slightest bit amusing.

In fact he completely ignored the red-faced gob-smacked berry as he stepped around to the trunk of the car and opened it.

Shaking her purple-pink bangs, Rukia opted to ignore Ichigo (whose expression had gone from gob-smacked to crestfallen in just split seconds) and walked over to properly greet her brother, bowing a little as she did so.

"Welcome home _Nii-sama_, wish you had called first."

Rukia released a defeated sort of sigh when Byakuya didn't say much out side of "Hmm." And none too gently thrust a basket filled to the brim with fruits, candy and perfume bottles into her arms.

"I know I'm a few months late but I hope you appreciate the gesture all the same."

Rukia smiled and vocalized her thanks, "Of course I do _Nii-sama, arigatou."_

_()()_

But Byakuya was no longer paying any attention to Rukia or the basket. His cool gaze was now trained on the ugly plastic pink swan sitting in the windowsill of the second story window of the Kuchiki house.

Curling his lips in disgust-not understanding why his mother insists on displaying such an ugly thing year after year when it does not match with the rest of the house-

Of course this isn't the true cause for Byakuya's sudden foul mood.

For an ugly plastic swan is just that an ugly plastic swan-merely a distraction from the real distraction-the _true _annoyance- standing only few feet away from Byakuya is some unknown bleach-haired punk who is practically all but raping the proud nobleman with his heated gaze.

Byakuya is not pleased.

"Rukia you did not answer my question. Who is this _person_ and how long does he intend to stay?"

()

Rukia looked almost uncharacteristically shy as she twiddled her fingers together and looked up at Byakuya from beneath her long lashes, voice small, "His name is Ichigo and he's just a friend from school _Nii-sama._ I'm sure he didn't mean to offend you just now he just has a _thing_ for cars." A smooth lie rolls off her lips. Well not a complete lie-a half lie.

Byakuya muttered something unintelligible under his breath and then started for the front of the three-story house with out uttering another word.

Rukia felt that the way the door closed with a definite _**slam **_spoke volumes.

()()

Ichigo watched Byakuya disappear into the house and scowled deeply. Okay so maybe things hadn't gone quite as well as he hoped it might. Ah, who the hell was he kidding? "That" whatever "that" was back there had been nothing short of disastrous.

He released a pathetic groan.

"I tried to warn you. I told Nii-sama had no place for romance in his life-let alone for a love-sick fool like you."

Ichigo's scowl morphed into a glare. His head shot up and the tone of his voice was sharp, accusatory, "What the hell is that _supposed _to mean?"

Sure it was a bit harsh. But Rukia wasn't going to sugar coat things. No good would come of her supporting her berry friends' foolish daydreams. "You couldn't be further from Nii-sama's type."

Type? Orange brows furrowed. Ichigo didn't understand. Couldn't understand. To him the very idea was preposterous.

Back home in Karakura Town he had been everyone's type.

Why should it be any different here in Seireitei?

The berry shook his head. "Nah that can't be it. Byakuya was _just,"_ Ichigo sucked on his tongue for a moment, searching for the words, "Byakuya was just tiered or something. I'm sure if I drop by tomorrow or heck even later on tonight he'll be in a better m-"

Rukia couldn't believe what she was hearing. Of all the ridiculous- "Are you even listening to yourself right now? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound Ichigo?!"

Ichigo shook his head determined to be stubborn. Determined to live the moment with his head in the clouds.

Rukia was running out of patience. Who knew that Ichigo of all people could be so damn infuriating?

"Fine. Whatever. Listen you better get your ass out of that car right now before Nii-sama threatens to slap you with a law suit!"

The ravenette's warning fell on deaf ears as Ichigo slipped into a mini daydream that involved a different and far more pleasurable kind of slap.

Yes he could picture it now…

_**Byakuya's deceptively delicate looking hands landing blow after blow on his over-sensitized bottom and the stoic beauty wouldn't stop the punishment until Ichigo cried 'Uncle' or shot off a load of cum-whichever came first.**_

The berry felt his entire body grow flush with the thought and made a personable vow to rub one out before he headed back to his apartment.

Oh and how awesome would it be if Byakuya walked in on him in the bathroom?

"_**Earth to Ichigo**_!" Pain bloomed on the left side of Ichigo's cheek. Rukia's voice hurting his eardrums and effectively killing his hard on.

Ichigo rubbed his face and grumbled an irritated, "What did you do that for?"

Rukia rolled her eyes skyward sending a silent prayer/plead to the _divine one_ asking for patience. "Ichigo I'm telling you this as your friend, give up!"

Ichigo shook his head firmly and said. "I can't do that Rukia. Byakuya is _the_ one for me and I plan to prove it!"

Such determination shone in cinnamon-coffee depths. Rukia resigned herself to defeat. There was probably no way she'd be able to change the berry's mind now.

But she'd have to try.

()()

Wasn't Rukia a little old to be playing matchmaker? If Byakuya had known his sister (in law?-well no not even in law since Hisana nor he himself had ever made it to the alter-oh whatever!)

If Byakuya had known that the young ravenette was going to pull a stunt like this he would have extended his stay in the states-not that the US had exactly been a picnic either.

Ah well that was neither here nor there.

Still…who was that boy standing outside with Rukia? Ichigo, she'd said his name was Ichigo. A dirty-minded bleached punk with the name strawberry? What was Rukia doing consorting with such a-?

Byakuya shook his head. What did it matter? Why should it matter? Seen one lust-struck teen seen em' all right?

But no if Byakuya was going to be completely honest with him self, there was something different about Ichigo. Something about that sun-ripened mouth, those loud orange locks and well-muscled calves.

Byakuya rubbed his hands roughly over his face hating that a boy-a mere _teenager_-had made-no _was _still making him feel uncharacteristically hot and itchy underneath his collar.

What was this? His 27th birthday is right around the corner (give or take a 5-6 months) and so he shouldn't be affected by a shameless tease of a boy with peach fuzz on his face. No! Wait the boy didn't even have fuzz-his face was completely smooth which made it even worse!

Byakuya scowled deeply and drummed his fingertips against the window.

The damn window that was currently offering him a perfect view of Ichigo dribbling the orange ball in his hands-the youth's hands were perhaps the least boyish thing about the him-even from a second story bedroom window Byakuya could easily make out each and every vein and muscle rippling/tightening as the berry moved.

It was at this moment in time when Byakuya draws a conclusion-a some what disturbing conclusion-it wasn't just an empty promise or a lot of hot hair or a cocky overconfident albeit ridiculously good looking boy hinting/teasing about things he knew nothing about-Ichigo's grip on the ball was strong, his fingers controlled-this "boy" knew things/had done things and…

Byakuya's eyes narrowed to thin slits and then widened (only a fraction of an inch but still widened) when a small a strip of perfectly toned flesh was revealed to his not-so-closeted greedy gaze-as the eccentric Ichigo made a beautiful jump through the air.

Byakuya planned on showering before joining his family for dinner (naturally he wanted to wash the stink off from his long flight/drive home ) but now thanks to Rukia's _friend _Byakuya had an entirely different reason to douse his body in ice water.

The nobleman felt his growing problem rise even more when the teen smiled. Ridiculous. No one should manage to look 15 times more tantalizing simply by stretching the muscles in their face.

Byakuya shook his head more fiercely. What on earth had gotten into him? Letting a BOY-someone who was clearly UNDERAGE and OFF LIMITS have such an affect on him?

He must be out of his mind. The summer heat no doubt had fried his brain cells.

To even entertain the thought for a few minutes? NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NEVER!

Byakuya was a high-class nobleman and he would not/could not get involved with a high school boy!

()()

ROUND TWO!

Rukia truly is a great friend. Ichigo can't help but think this as he sits down to join the ravenette and her family at the dinner table.

Ichigo also can't help but think it quite commendable-impressive really-how Byakuya manages to sit through dinner with a straight face –even as he teases the man by brushing his stocking foot against the others' ankle-licks the rim of his wine glass with the tip of his tongue since it would probably be a bit too soon and far from appropriate to kiss the stoic beauty right now in front of everyone.

Of course on the outside Ichigo is nothing if not the perfect guest as he finishes off everything on his plate and answers Ginrei's questions about the up coming basketball season.

Traditional to almost a fault, the Kuchiki's always surprise Ichigo with their fondness/appreciation/keen interest for the sport.

In truth Ichigo's mouth is running on autopilot.

He isn't actually paying close attention to Rukia's grandfather-it is a matter of routine that is all-.

The berry is far more interested in seeing just how far he can tease Byakuya before the man admits that he is just as equally love/lust struck as Ichigo is.

Growing a bit bolder…slowly carefully and well timed, Ichigo slinks a bit lower in his chair, lifts his foot higher and higher and barely manages to suppress the smirk pulling at his lips as he is met with an obvious bulge.

The devilish side of Ichigo (because yes even a love struck berry like him has one) almost feels like giving Byakuya a reason to stand up so that EVERYONE can see just how-

Ichigo's perverse train of thoughts comes to a grinding halt when Rukia stabs him in the thigh with her fork!

Go figure! On tonight of all nights the Kuchiki family would forgo tradition and decided to dine "western style"

Not wishing to bring any unnecessary or unwanted attention to himself Ichigo drops his foot back down from Baykuya's crotch and fully immerses him self in the conversation.

()()

Pride will prevent Byakuya from ever admitting it but he was/is truly grateful that Rukia chose to intervene when she had.

Had the young ravenette not intervened well…there was no guarantee that Byakuya would be able to stay true to his inward vow.

Byakuya downed the rest of his wine and excused himself from the table, choosing ignore the questioning look from his mother, the disapproving frown from his grandfather, the apologetic head tilt from Rukia and the all-too-knowing smirk from the youth who might every well prove to be his downfall.

Byakuya was getting a headache just thinking about it. He would be sure to double-lock his bedroom door tonight and set the security alarm on his window just incase the cocky orange-haired teen got any slick ideas.

Slick. Now was definitely not the time to be thinking of the word "slick" and Ichigo in the same sentence.

The damn brat!

Moving about as stiffly as a board, Byakuya pushed in his chair and bid everyone a final "Good night" and retreated to his sanctuary.

Though how long it would remain a sanctuary well…he was better off not thinking that far ahead.

()()

Ichigo considered following his stoic beauty up the stairs-

_**considered/envisioned cornering Byakuya right smack dab in the middle of the hallway. He would push the man up against one of the freshly painted walls (the Kuchiki family enjoyed redecorating the house quite often) and have his wicked, wicked way…**_

However in the end Ichigo managed (just barely but managed all the same) to keep his raging hormones in check-managed to stay rooted to his spot at the table and finish off desert and thank the Kuchiki's for their kind hospitality.

Then he gathered his windbreaker and laced up his shoes and waited for Rukia out on the front porch.

The ravenette agreed to drive him home because his jeep was still in the shop and well…friends help friends out.

()()

Rukia drummed her fingernails against the steering wheel as she waited at the red light. A moment later she looked over at her orange-haired companion. Ichigo was quiet and wearing that stupid dreamy expression on his boyish face once more.

The ravenette released a sigh and opened the window crack in order to let some fresh air in. After a moments pause Rukia decided to address the "incident" at dinner.

"I can't believe you actually fondled Nii-sama at the dinner table with my parents and my grandfather present! Honestly Ichigo what the hell has gotten into you?"

Ichigo grinned at the not-too-distant memory-if he had truly had it his way he'd have dived under the table and properly 'fondled' Byakuya.

"I would have done more (_much more_) but I actually like your family and I don't want to give them a reason to ban from your house me like what happened with Renji."

Rukia groaned and then snorted. "Renji brought it upon himself. Honestly what did he think would happen when he decided to go rummaging around in my mother's panty drawer? I don't even want to know why he was interested in her panties in the first place." A shudder "Not that I'm judging but til' this day I still can't go into my parents bedroom."

Ichigo nodded his head sympathetically as if he understood completely-which maybe he did-Rukia had yet to meet the berry's family but she'd heard plenty of stories.

The ravenette slammed her hand on the horn wishing to get back on track.

"Ichigo I know you don't want to listen to me because you're all love/lust struck right now but-

Ichigo leaned over and squeezed one of Rukia's slim shoulders. He appreciated her concern honest he did but it wasn't necessary. "You let me worry about Byakuya and you just focus your energy on the first game of the season, _captain_."

It was Rukia's turn to grin as she declared with utmost confidence, "Our first game is against HAWK-it'll be an easy win." She poked Ichigo in the side "But speaking of the season, if you're really serious about chasing after and seducing my brother you're going to have to cut back on basketball and focus on your studies. Nii-sama had zero tolerance for fools."

Ichigo groaned. Not liking the sound of what Rukia was telling him. "What are you trying to say Rukia, that your brother is only interested in "book-smart" types?"

"No! Yes! Sort of. No of course not! Nii-sama is not that shallow!" At Ichigo's questioning brow, Rukia further elaborated. "All I'm saying is this: It wouldn't hurt to brush up on your vocabulary and things. Nii-sama won't waste his energy on simpletons."

"The hell?! So now you're saying I'm simple minded?"

"No I didn't-

"Yes you did!" The berry sniffled defensively although it was mostly for dramatic flair. "I'll have you know that I ranked number 5 out of my entire class 3 years in a row back home-that's higher than both Renji and Keigo combined."

Rukia rolled her silver-blues. Heaven sake she was tiered of going in what felt like a never-ending pointless circle. "You're missing the point here Ichigo."

"If it's a challenge Byakuya is looking for," brown eyes flashed, "I'll give him one."

"You-Arggh it's not about a challenge Ichigo but there are rules and you know _laws_?"

"Rules? Laws? What kind of rules and laws are we talking about here? Age? I'll be 18 come July, what's the big deal?"

Rukia felt like pulling over to the side of the road and banging her best friends head repeatedly on the steering wheel over and over until he understood but of course she knew that even if she resorted to violence it wouldn't change a damn thing.

So instead she continued on as if she hadn't been interrupted, "Listen Ichigo age is only _one_ factor but there are _many_ reasons why you shouldn't fall for Byakuya-nii-sama, one very big and important reason is- she trailed off not quite sure how she should phrase her next words.

"_Is_?" Ichigo prompted.

Rukia twisted the thin leather cord around her neck "Well Byakuya-nii-sama has only ever shown interest in women-has only ever been with women."

"To your knowledge." The berry interjected.

If the ravenette actually thought she was going to scare off or discourage Ichigo with this little piece of information she was dead wrong.

Ichigo couldn't help but snort. Cheetahs would sprout feathers before a man like Byakuya turned 100 percent straight. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Hell Ichigo didn't even have to be like 98 percent gay 2 percent straight to know that Byakuya had _surely _had his fair share of cock.

"No not just me, EVERYONE!"

Another snort. "Whose everyone?"

"Never mind that. Listen Ichigo you don't stand a chance with Nii-sama any more than any of his past admirers stood a chance with him. So just do us both a favor and carry your little fantasy to your bedroom when you fall asleep tonight and leave it there."

Ichigo laughed just then. Laughed as if Rukia had told a hilarious joke. "Rukia you just don't get it do you? I'm a Kurosaki and like my father and his father and his father's father before him we Kurosaki's do not back down-EVER!"

"Don't you mean your mother, her mother and her mother's mother? As I recall quite clearly shortly after we met you adopted your mother's maiden name because the last name Shiiba just doesn't roll off your tongue as easily as Kurosaki, right?"

An eye roll. "Whatever. Kurosaki or Shiiba. Point here is it's in my blood, ruins in my veins. Determination, will power, success-Byakuya will be MINE!"

()()

_**ROUND THREE AND FOUR**_

_**COMING SOON! LIKE A FEW DAYS.**_

_**NO I'm NOT TELLING A LIE THIS TIME. HONEST! PLEASE BELIEVE SLY?**_


	12. STUFFED, TUCKED, PLUCKED FINALE

**Disclaimer: Wish I may, wish I might have this wish I wish tonight…well SLY can keep on wishing but BLEACH still won't belong to me but Kubo-sensei!**

**Thanks to all who are reading/following/faves this collection. **

**Special thanks to my reviewers: **_**Castiel4Life and Guest (next time write a name in so I can thank you properly, lol)**_

_**A/N I don't know anything about sports…I blame the whole "basketball segment" on Kuroko no Basuke.**_

**Warnings: AU, fast-paced, BYAxICHI, one-sided InouexIchigo, switching views, citrus-bits, AU, OOC-ness, loose-plot, spelling, grammar, punctuation, age-gap, time-jumps, cross-dressing, etc.**

**FINAL PART!**

**HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

_Ichigo~Berry_

_Byakuya~Stoic Beauty_

_Rukia~Ravenette_

**()()**

**Stuffed Tucked and Plucked: In the Moonlight**

**ROUND THREE**

**()**

**The following month…**

Ichigo feels nervous. Which is ridiculous because tonight is just another night like any other night. Only he can't stop pacing back and forth like a caged animal inside the locker room.

He was sure Rukia would have said something by now but no she didn't. The ravenette was focusing all her energy on tonight's game. Understandable. Totally and completely understandable.

Still…would it kill her to at least give him a pat on the back or something? After all the reason for Ichigo's sudden bout of nervousness was all Rukia's fault.

She decided (quite at the last minute) to invite Byakuya to the game. And much to Ichigo's surprise (not so secret-delight) Byakuya agreed.

Along with feeling nervous Ichigo is also excited. Ridiculously excited. It's a miracle he can manage to lace up his shoes properly. He hasn't heard a single word Coach or Rukia has said. He should be getting his head in the game. Ichigo knows this but it's easier said than done.

()()

Ichigo has never been a clumsy guy but he feels unbelievably off center as he follows his teammates out of the locker room and onto the court.

First game of the season. It's a home game so it should be an easy win-still it is never wise to be overly cocky.

The berry has heard it all before and he knows COACH is right but he just can't bring himself to care right now because he has spotted Byakuya.

Ichigo feels like time has slowed down to a stand still-feels like his breath has left his lungs.

Unlike the afternoon exactly one week ago when he introduced himself to Byakuya, this time the man has opted for more of a casual look-loose fitted cargo pants and a plain white tee. His dark locks pulled back into a low ponytail. Yet, even dressed down, Byakuya looks like an ethereal being sitting amongst commoners.

Ichigo felt blood rush to his face and then spread throughout his entire body. He'd be in serious trouble right now if he hadn't jacked off three times before he put his uniform.

"Hey! Snap out of it!"

Ichigo dimly registered the snapping command but he doesn't actually move until he feels someone kick him in the rear. That someone turns out to be Rukia and the ravenette looks far from pleased with him.

Ichigo apologizes to his friend and teammates but in truth only feels marginally guilty about being distracted by Byakuya.

()

It was only after going into the 2nd quarter that the berry realizes that he really needs to get his head out of his ass and focus. Because right now the Seireitei Reapers are behind by nearly 12 points and the gap will only continue to widen if Ichigo continues to be distracted.

The berry can not let that happen and so with a second apology (this one far more sincere) he leapt through the air like a four legged beast in the jungle snatched up the ball and blazed down to the other end of the court and scored.

()()

Byakuya wasn't an expert when it came to basketball but he wasn't completely clueless either. He knew enough to appreciate the show-enjoy the game like every other spectator sitting in the crowd. Yes, the nobleman decided, he had made the right decision in agreeing to come here tonight.

Watching a bunch of teenagers running around and work up a sweat was far more entertaining then spending another night beside his mother at the art gallery. Not that Byakuya had anything against art, he didn't, but fact was fact he grew bored with routine.

Of course there was more to it then that. The real reason Byakuya had declined his mother's invitation tonight was because he knew (because the woman never changed) it wouldn't just be an outing between mother and son-oh no his dearest mother would use the opportunity to set him up with the top notch single women in Seireitei. After the farce with Hisana, Byakuya did not fancy tea parties or wedding bells or whatever else his mother might have in store for him.

So yes the far more appealing option had been supporting Rukia and her not-so-little friend Ichigo. At the moment the berry youth wasn't doing much-well no that wasn't entirely true-at the moment Ichigo was sitting on the bench. Beads of sweat dripping off his brow, towel draped around his neck and shoulders, hands pressed to his knees, head bow low as he tried to re-catch his breath.

Yes once the youth had gotten his head out of the clouds he proved to be quite impressive out on the court-scoring shot after beautiful shot-eyes dancing with mischief and something more-smirk pulling at his lips as he purposely taunted the opposing team.

So yes Ichigo deserved a moments break-a moment to relax and let his teammates seal their victory.

The Seireitei Reapers did not disappoint.

()()

"You were great tonight Kurosaki-kun, simply great!"

Being cornered on his way out to the parking lot by the head cheerleader was not something ichigo was in the mood for. He had a stoic beauty to catch up to and he be damned if he missed his chance to talk to Byakuya just because a certain fan whore was currently shoving her impressive double D's in his face.

Inoue was a nice girl but she was also shameless and Ichigo didn't really have the time to entertain her right now. And so he pushed the buxom brunette away from him none-too-gently and started to sprint towards the exit. Not realizing until it was too later that the "princess" had made a quick recovery and was coming for him!

()()

Byakuya nii-sama kept looking around the parking lot as though he was searching for something or would it be more accurate to guess that he was searching for someone? Rukia's mind had been completely focused on victory for her team, and honestly she hadn't given Byakuya much thought until now.

"Nii-sama, are you waiting on someone?

At first she though that he had been waiting for her but now Rukia realized how silly such a thought was.

Byakuya either hadn't heard the question or simply refused to answer. Rukia was betting on the later rather than the former.

She bit on her bottom lip. Was it possible that Ichigo's lust/obsession wasn't entirely one-sided? Had the berry actually charmed Nii-sama from the start and the ravenette hadn't noticed?

Rukia didn't know who she should feel more concerned for –Byakuya or Ichigo? It was probably about even when she really thought about it.

()()

Byakuya watched minutes on his watch tick by, noting that there was still no sign of Ichigo.

He was beginning to regret even entertaining the idea of giving the bratty orange head a chance or rather it would be more fitting to say that Byakuya had returned to his senses and realized how painfully adolescent he had been thinking/acting throughout the course of the night. In a moment of poorly controlled lust, he had propositioned Ichigo, granted it was subtle but still…

"Nii-sama?"

Ah yes another reminder of why it was best that the boy had opted not to show his face. Rukia.

Byakuya couldn't abandon his dearest sister just so he could spend some one on one time with Ichigo.

"Yes Rukia I'm sorry for the delay." He unlocked the car doors. "We're leaving."

()()

It was only after Inoue had attacked Ichigo's face and neck with bites and scratches-only after she left her lipstick stains all over his favorite jersey and the stench of her strong perfume clinging to his skin, did the cheerleader agree to back off.

And by then it was too late. The parking lot was empty. Byakuya was gone.

()()

A week later…

_**ROUND FOUR**_

Hiding out from the rest of the world-ignoring problems-that wasn't the way of Kuchiki Byakuya. Or given recent circumstances it would be more accurate to say that that hadn't been the way that Byakuya did things up until Kurosaki Ichigo appeared in his line of vision.

Byakuya had tried to forget about the bleach haired punk but as if to mock the nobleman, the harder he tried to banish thoughts about the boy, the more vivid and real his dreams (both inside and outside of slumber) became.

It was ridiculous. And totally and completely out of his character. Pining and obsessing over a young man he didn't even know. Good God if Hisana could see him now she'd laugh her head off.

Byakuya raked his fingers through his hair, hissing slightly when he came across a knot. Not a huge knot but a knot all the same. He'd never had a knot in his life-then again he'd never gone 3 days without bathing either.

3 days of sitting or lazing around in his silky pajamas. Not even when he was sick with the common cold or flu would he have neglected basic hygiene.

His family was concerned and perhaps, Byakuya reasoned, he should be worried too.

()()

"Nii-sama has been locked inside his bedroom for the last 7 days and its all your fault Ichigo."

Being poked or punched or kicked by his best friend was pretty much a regular every day kind of thing.

Difference was Rukia would usually wait until they were away from the eyes of the public (sport games didn't count!) such was not the case today however.

Ichigo had been in the middle of scribbling down the answers to last nights take home quiz when the ravenette blew through the classroom door like a mad woman.

The berry tucked his pen behind a lightly freckled ear and cocked a curious brow in question. What was Rukia talking about?

"How is Byakuya barricading himself away from the rest of the world my fault?"

Ichigo was just a teenage guy with a hardcore crush. He didn't have any power over the nobleman.

"You never bothered to show up after the game."

Orange brows furrowed. Ichigo didn't understand how A) the ravenette had found out about his plans to meet up with the stoic beauty especially since he'd never told her or B) Why Rukia cared. In fact she should be relieved and celebrating shouldn't she?

Not that Ichigo hadn't tried to catch up with Byakuya after the game for he had but then the head cheerleader came along and things had become well…rather complicated.

Ichigo didn't plan on telling any of this to Rukia. She'd only get the wrong idea. And besides whatever happened between him and Inoue would stay between him and Inoue.

"You're the one who told me to stay away. I'm just respecting your wishes."

This was only partially true. The fact that Ichigo had opted to stay away from Byakuya had little to do with his best friends "warnings" and more to do with his own shame. Because yes Ichigo was ashamed that he hadn't put up more resistance.

Rukia snorted humorlessly, "Yeah so? You're the one who told me that nothing and no one would keep you away from Byakuya nii-sama."

Ichigo scratched a phantom itch on his cheek. "I don't know what you expect me to do Rukia, drag Byakuya out of bed kicking and screaming?"

While it was an amusing thought to entertain for a few minutes Ichigo wouldn't dare.

Rukia held up a set of fingers and counted them down "First of all Nii-sama isn't the type to kick and scream about anything and secondly, what are you trying to tell me? Does this mean you've given up and that it was just a fleeting lust at first sight that has come and gone?"

No. No it wasn't like that at all. Far from it. Ichigo was still very much attracted to Byakuya. He still wanted to be with his stoic beauty. The bites and scratches (evidence of his mini tryst with Inoue) had healed up and so he could go visit Byakuya at any time. Today if possible. He would make it possible.

"I don't care what you do or how you do it but just do it quickly or I'll send someone else."

Someone else? The very idea/suggestion made Ichigo see RED. Not that the berry was afraid of a little competition but-no-NO HE COULD NOT/WOULD NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!

"I'll go see him today after school."

It would mean skipping out on swimming practice but so what? Byakuya was worth it. Truthfully if Ichigo had a real choice in the matter he would drop everything and go see Byakuya right here in the now but he had to focus some of his time and energy on his studies or Kaa-san would have his head. Goat face probably wouldn't be too pleased either.

Hmm Kaa-san, Goat face been awhile since he visited home so…maybe he should blow off third period and make a trip to Karakura Town. He could check in on his parents and sisters and good ole reliable uncle Kaien.

Yeah, yeah that could work. He'd worry about pulling up his grades tomorrow or next week. Maybe he could even get Byakuya to tutor him?

Ichigo grinned at the thought. His mind was officially made up.

"On second thought I'll swing by your house in the evening, say 5:30-ish?"

He shoved his books and papers into his bag and flew out of the room before Rukia could even issue a proper response or ask where he was going?

()()

That evening/night…

There was a knock at the door pulling Byakuya from his scattered thoughts…

"Nii-sama is there anything I can do to get you to come out of there?"

Rukia. Again. The young ravenette had tried harder than anyone else to pull Byakuya out of his funk. Byakuya felt guilty until he remembered that Rukia was the reason his life was slowly but surely spinning out of his iron tight control.

Still.. Byakuya was first and far most a gentleman and Rukia was still a young girl learning about the harsh realities of life-he couldn't hold a grudge against her.

"I will come out when I am good and ready Rukia, please stop pestering me."

He could hear the ravenette sighing and pacing out side the door. "Alright Nii-sama you've given me no other choice but to do this…"

Byakuya raised a brow at the closed door not sure he understood.

"Just remember before you get your feathers ruffled and curse me for all eternity that I'm agreeing to this because I care."

There came another knock at the door, this one sharper and more rapid.

()

Before Byakuya could object, comment or even react the door was kicked in and the very same boy whose face had been haunting/teasing the nobleman in and out of his dreams now stood before him.

Only Kurosaki Ichigo looked very different compared to the first and last time Byakuya had set eyes on him, from his bleached head all the way down to his tiptoes.

Where had Rukia run off to now? Byakuya couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

"Yo, Byakuya!" the boy flashed a dazzling smile, " I heard you been askin' for me lately." And stepped further into the room. "So anyway I had some free time on my hands and I figured I'd drop by and-

"What are you wearing?" Byakuya asked cutting the berry off mid sentence.

Granted he hadn't planned it that way or rather that wasn't the first question Byakuya had intended to ask Ichigo but he just couldn't help himself. Ichigo's altered appearance threw him off.

Not that the altered appearance was bad or even disturbing but it was a bit of a shock to see the infuriating boy dressed up like a girl.

Byakuya stepped forward as if he was under some kind of trance and reached out to touch a long apricot colored lock of hair and curled it around his finger, marveling at the texture-although obviously a wig it was far from being a cheap one.

()()

Ichigo sucked in a breath and ignored the way his cheeks flushed as Byakuya took in his altered appearance.

The idea to butter Byakuya up-to make up for the night he'd stood the man up, had come to him on a whim. It wasn't the first time Ichigo put on a skirt or heels. He had a drag queen for an uncle, a retired club hostess for a mother and a plastic surgeon for a father.

Wearing costumes, changing his outer appearance, pretending to be someone else came as natural to Ichigo as breathing.

Well except for the fact that wearing women's clothing/accessories was a deep and dark closeted secret of his-or it had been.

Of course Byakuya didn't have to know this. Nor did Rukia. Ichigo preferred to just leave the "Kuchiki siblings" guessing. It was all part of the fun.

Not that there wasn't obvious down sides to dressing up like a chick because there was.

Having his junk squashed/bound tightly together with duct tape, resisting the urge to rip the stupid thong currently riding up his butt crack and giving him the wedgie of the century-the blisters his feet were getting from the 6 inch pimps definitely wasn't a damn picnic!

But it was worth it because on the plus side his arms, abs and thighs were beautifully toned and shimmering with body glitter and his nipples were naturally a bit more perky then most guys so the bra he borrowed didn't need a lot of extra padding.

Red and black weren't Ichigo's first color choices because he felt it contrasted oddly with his bright orange hair (especially red), which is why he'd taken his uncle Kaien up on the suggestion to wear an apricot colored wig. Wound up being a perfect choice if the way Byakuya was playfully curling it around his long tapered fingers was anything to go by.

But as the stoic beauty moved closer in order to inhale the sweet scent of plum and violet hair spray Ichigo wanted to rip the damn wig off, burn it and then demand that Byakuya play with his real hair instead.

It was silly. Jealous of a wig of all things? Logically Ichigo knew this but he couldn't help it. Seemed like Byakuya liked the dumb wig and stupid costume more than him. And that just wouldn't fly with the berry.

Ichigo voiced his frustrations letting out a half grumble/groan of protest.

()

Sadly for Ichigo, Byakuya misinterpreted his groan/grumble and only buried his nose even deeper into the apricot locks.

"Why do you smell like this?"

It was mumbled which was a bit weird since Byakuya didn't seem like the type of man to mumble but then again-who cares?

Ichigo released another groan and couldn't decide if he wanted to pull Byakuya closer or push him away.

But it seemed it wasn't necessary because a moment or two later Byakuya pulled away, the look on the stoic beauty's face a mixture of complete puzzlement and restrained desire.

Ichigo should be celebrating. He should be jumping up and down with glee, awarding Byakuya with a sneak peak of his lacy red panties.

"Are you wearing lipstick, Ichigo?"

Ichigo's brain officially short-circuited when his first name spilled passed Byakuya's lips. He felt his knees wobble lost his footing and tumbled into the man, surprising them both.

It should have been romantic. It should have been the opportune moment to initiate a kiss but it was just awkward and uncomfortable-nothing at all like the fantasies that had played out in his head.

"Uh yeah so this is interesting."

()()

Interesting was one way to look at it. Another would be wrong. Very wrong but Byakuya was choosing to ignore the little voice in his head at the moment. Perhaps he'd just ignore it for the remainder of the evening.

Since after all Ichigo wasn't _that _young so giving into temptation wouldn't be that bad now would it?

"Tell me, are you planning to answer any of my questions or are you just going to continue to lie here in my arms and stare up at me?"

When that infuriating smirk tugged at peach-rose-painted lips once more Byakuya almost dropped Ichigo on the floor for his cheek-key word being _almost._

"Doesn't seem like such a bad idea to me but I can think of several other positions I'd rather be in right now," Ichigo batted his lashes. Actually batted his lashes and Byakuya wondered at the color. The boy's lashes were the exact same shade as his head-bright orange.

Hmm, did this mean Ichigo's hair was not bleached after all?

If so, the idea thrilled Byakuya for reasons he wasn't quite ready to come to terms with.

"You're not like others your age, are you?"

()

Ichigo scowled. What the hell did Byakuya mean by asking such a question? Why was his stoic beauty even comparing him to others (whoever the hell others were)?

A thumb brushed against Ichigo's lightly powdered cheek. "It wasn't an insult," Byakuya assured him, "quite the opposite."

Now the berry just felt confused.

"Perhaps we should discuss a few things before we do something we might regret?"

Discuss? As in talk? Well yes that sounded like a reasonable request/suggestion and in all honesty Ichigo's neck was getting rather stiff in this position and yet at the same time…

"I don't want you to let go of me."

Rather than being irritated by his whine/plead Byakuya seemed rather amused.

"Are you really the same punk who propositioned me within five minutes of introductions?"

A blush tinted Ichigo's cheeks for the third time that evening,

"What can I say Byakuya? There are many sides to me." Cinnamon-coffee eyes shined with mischief, "Stick around and you'll see them all."

"I take it dressing in heels is _one _of these sides?"

"Well kind of but there's more to it and-Fuck my head hurts!"

Byakuya chuckled softly. "Let's set you on your feet and sort things out then, shall we?"

"Wha? No! Don't listen to-ignore what I said just now!"

Byakuya raised a naturally arched brow and Ichigo hurried to say, "Honestly I'm okay really. All I mean was my neck is growing a bit stiff but so what? No big deal, trust me I've been with guys a lot taller than you and hell we're practically the same height-this is just a bit of an odd angle not that I'm not flexible because I tot-

Byakuya pressed his fingers to Ichigo's lips effectively cutting off the berry mid-ramble, "Now you're just being stubborn."

Stubborn? Brown eyes flashed. _He'd show Byakuya stubborn!_

Ichigo half considered darting his tongue out in order to lick at Byakuya's fingers-would bet anything that the man would forget all about "talking/lecturing" and just focus on the warmth of his mouth. Granted Ichigo wanted to lick/suck a whole lot more than Byakuya's beautiful fingers but he would get the message across-Byakuya would cave and they'd live happily ever after.

Byakuya set Ichigo on his feet and stepped back leaving some space (too much space in Ichigo's opinion!) between them.

OR NOT!

"Now then about your reason for showing up here."

()()

Rukia was far from being an innocent wallflower-far from being an innocent anything actually but even she knew when and when not to eavesdrop-even if it was a bit tempting.

She'd never seen Byakuya-nii-sama be overly romantic or affectionate towards anyone (not even during his brief engagement to her sister Hisana so yes she was very curious.

Rukia wanted to see for herself what the nobleman was like when away from the eyes of the public.

The ravenette could appreciate beauty in all forms and Ichigo made a pretty hot chick! Hell if she didn't have her sights set on someone else she might have jumped the berry when he showed up at her doorstep wearing a cheerleading outfit. And kitten heels. The heels are what really did it for Rukia.

Not that she hadn't considered jumping Ichigo before his "transformation" for she had it was just…her berry friend was somehow twice as attractive when he was wearing a skirt.

Rukia wondered if Ichigo's choice of costume had anything to do with her previous comments about Byakuya only 'showing interest in women'-not that it mattered one way or another because in the end the ravenette realized she was just grateful that Ichigo had showed up.

Even though she still had trouble imagining much of a future between her Nii-sama and her best friend sometimes a good "Ugnh" in the sheets was all one needed.

'_Best of luck you two.'_

_()()_

_**FINAL ROUND**_

"Before we begin I must tell you now that I can not promise you anything and any expectations you might have of me you should just forget about now because chances are 10 to 1 that I will not be able to meet them."

Ichigo scowled. He didn't appreciate that Byakuya was referring to what was about to happen like it was a business transaction or something. Ichigo might be a tease and a flirt but he wasn't the type to just throw himself at anyone.

If Byakuya really thought that way then maybe his stoic beauty wasn't the destined love of his life after all.

Perhaps he'd gone about this whole thing the wrong way-completely misread both Byakuya and the situation? Or perhaps he'd simply chosen to ignore the obvious? Ichigo clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides, half wishing that he had taken Kaien up on his suggestion to wear acrylic nails because right now shredding Byakuya's silk sheets seems like a grand idea. Clawing Byakuya's beautiful face off sounds even grander.

"My comments have displeased you."

Ichigo glared at Byakuya. They were sitting on the bed-Byakuya's bed. Kissing and groping and fucking and sucking should be taking place right about now but no instead Byakuya was lecturing him and he in turn was currently planning a not so quick and painless death for the nobleman.

Ichigo's lips curled into a vicious snarl and he narrowed his cinnamon-coffee colored orbs right at Byakuya's crotch-trying to decide which he'd rather do more right now-kick the man in the balls with his stilettos or make the most of the current not-so-happy situation and go forward with his plans of seduction?

Decisions. Decisions.

()()

"Would you honestly have preferred me to not say anything-would it please you more if I lied to you?"

Ichigo's head shot up and he locked eyes with Byakuya. Frost orbs pinned him in place.

"If this is the case, then you might as well show yourself out the door and save us both a headache."

The scowl/glare on the berry's face lost some of its fire and a whine slipped into Ichigo's tone, "Are you threatening to kick me out?"

"Only if you continue to sit here and pout. I will tell you right now that I have zero tolerance for ignorance."

"I'M NOT IGNORANT!"

Byakuya released a sigh and swept his fingers through his messy dark locks, "Yes I know you are not truly ignorant or else we wouldn't even be sitting here and having this conversation right now, Ichigo."

Orange brows furrowed in confusion "Then why did you-?"

"Because I refuse to sugar coat things. Fact is fact you are a great deal younger than me and I must be half out of my mind to actually consider going through with this-

"Hey! I'm not that young and-

"Let me finish."

An eye roll and a huff, "Fine." Ichigo crossed his arms over his chest.

Byakuya was equally amused and annoyed at this point though the amused half was beginning to take over. Not that he'd let it show on his face.

He would never get his point across to Ichigo if he didn't set some ground rules first. "Fact is fact. I am attracted to you and so it seems only right and natural to act upon-

()()

Was it bad to tune Byakuya out after the word "Attracted"? Probably but Ichigo just didn't care-he opted to disregard his previous anger/frustration towards the man and pounced!

Deciding that they had done enough talking for one night.

If Ichigo had opted to keep up the "casual" charade he probably would not have hiked up his skirt and straddled Byakuya just then. Nor would he have grinded his body down in such a shameless way-now if only he could get Byakuya to grind back they'd be well on their way to _Cum_ paradise.

But Byakuya wouldn't be Byakuya, Ichigo supposed, if he gave into desire that easily.

No matter. Ichigo was determined to get his way no matter what it took. Smirk turning into a full blow grin he pressed his chest against Byakuya, snorting with complete and utter amusement when the padding in the bra shifted, and twined his fingers into the silky raven locks.

The berry was a bit surprised when he came across a small knot or two-but he was not deterred-not in the least. He hadn't imagined that his first of many "coupling sessions" with Byakuya would play out quite like this but Ichigo simply did not care about the imperfections.

Uber clean or a little dirty Byakuya was his stoic beauty to have and to hold.

()()

Overwhelmed? No that wasn't quite what Byakuya was feeling right now- it was more like he was ridiculously turned on and mildly exasperated. Ichigo's energy was all over the place. For one thing the youth couldn't seem to sit still-couldn't decide if he wanted to dry hump all the way into next season or suck the breath right out of his lungs. Not that either one was bad thing but Byakuya didn't understand the rush.

And then it dawned on him a moment later. He had a teenager in his lap-of course it was going to be a rushed affair.

Rushed equaled sloppy and Byakuya did not do sloppy!

And so he stilled Ichigo's movements by applying firm (but not bruising) pressure to the boy's well-toned thighs.

Perhaps he'd take some time to appreciate the perfect silky smoothness at a later date but for right now…

()

Ichigo half growled/half whined against Byakuya's mouth clearly not liking that Byakuya was bringing things to a grinding halt-no actually no grinding!

His damn stoic beauty had rendered him immobile.

Ichigo ripped his mouth away Byakuya ready to bitch/protest/demand, "What are you-

Byakuya's fingers found their way to his lips once again-this time Ichigo did not resist the urge to open his mouth and drag his tongue down the long tapered digit-just as he was about to attack a second finger Byakuya retracted his hand and pinned him with a glare which clearly read…

_**NO!**_

Ichigo didn't understand. What did Byakuya mean **no**? Wait! He wasn't beginning to have second thoughts was he? He better not be!

"Oh _**come on**_ Byakuya I _know_ you want this!"

It wasn't like the nobleman could deny it if he tried-the obvious tent in his pajamas spoke volumes.

Still…

"If I let you have your way now, you'll only become spoiled Ichigo."

"So? What's wrong with being a bit spoiled? If it will make you feel better about the situation I'll be more than happy to spoil you, _Byakuya_," Ichigo purred and his cinnamon-coffee eyes danced with mirth and mischief, "In fact I'll start _**spoiling**_ you right now if you release me?"

Byakuya's tone was not entirely dead pan but damn near it as he said, "You expect me to release you in order to do what exactly?"

Although not the reaction Ichigo had been hoping/waiting for he would not give up that easily-Byakuya wasn't the cold emotionless bastard his outer appearance might suggest.

()

It took a few minutes (5 tops) but eventually Ichigo managed to squirm out of Byakuya's hold-then again maybe Byakuya had just resigned himself to fate and decided to stop fighting and gradually lessened the pressure on the berry's thighs? Perhaps a combination of the two?

Ichigo didn't care because the silly moment had passed and finally he was right where he wanted to be, on his knees with his head buried between Byakuya's open thighs.

Even at half-mast Byakuya was a lot bigger than Ichigo had expected and as a result the berry's excitement increased ten fold.

One of his favorite things in the world was having his mouth so full of cock his jaw would ache for the next several days-though he thought it was a bit unfair that Byakuya's well trimmed pubic hair was almost as equally as soft as the hair on his head.

()

Since his stoic beauty had bitched at him about his hurried pace, Ichigo took his time, dragging out each and every lick, swirl and suck. If the way Byakuya was now pulling at the wig was anything to go by, the nobleman approved!

Ichigo smirked around a mouth full of cum and then swallowed it down. He couldn't wait to pull the dam wig off and demand that Byakuya grab his real hair and fuck his mouth like that!

Ironically the wig was one of the few things that had managed to stay in place. Ichigo's make up was smeared, his tank-top discarded, lacy red panties ripped beyond repair-

It didn't matter how much he had tucked and taped-his penis had a mind of its own-dribbling pre-cum onto the sea-foam green carpeting-not that Ichigo paid any mind to his own aching organ-at the moment the berry teen was completely and totally 100 percent focused on his stoic beauty.

And really what a beauty Byakuya was? All glazed eyes, flushed cheeks and harsh breathing.

()()

"So now that you've come in my mouth I think its only fair that you come in my ass."

"Absolutely out of the question."

"WHAT?!"

Not this again. What the hell did Byakuya mean by 'Absolutely out of the question' and why was he tucking himself back inside his pajamas? Come on! This wasn't fair! Ichigo felt like stomping his feet but instead he just glared harshly at his stoic beauty.

()

Byakuya raked his hands through his hair and fell back on the bed, letting out a groan of frustration. It wasn't directed at Ichigo but himself. "This should not have happened."

The boy's glare darkened even more and he demanded an explanation. "What the hell do you mean this wasn't supposed to happen? Of course it was supposed to happen. Hell! It should have happened the first day I came on to you but-

Byakuya released another groan and sat up. "You misunderstand me entirely, Ichigo."

The berry did not look impressed or amused. "Oh really?" a humorless snort, "What am I failing to understand, huh Byakuya?"

This was ridiculous. Byakuya mentally scolded himself. Of course the orange haired punk was getting the wrong idea. This is exactly why he wanted to be clear about things-exactly why he should have-

"I'm waiting." Ichigo tapped his foot impatiently. Byakuya narrowed his eyes-now was not the time to be distracted by the boy's beautiful legs especially since…

"You shouldn't have done that," he began again, "I shouldn't have let you do that."

Ichigo threw his hands up in the air and then released an angry shout of "Stop saying that! I wanted to do it! You didn't pressure or force me into doing it! You didn't push me down, tie me down and fuck me all the way into next Tuesday _although _I really wish you would."

Byakuya's eyes flashed with warning.

'_Don't start!'_

Ichigo rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "What? Who cares? It's not a big deal!"

"Yes it is a big deal."

A snort. "No its not! Look Byakuya as much as I would have loved it if you were the one to pop my cherry fact is fact, you weren't and-

Byakuya shook his head. Ichigo still did not understand.

"I don't care if you're a virgin or not-it does not matter to me if you've been with several others in the past (not entirely true but there was no need to bring up such things right now)-

"Then what has you so bent out of shape?"

"I have not been bent in or out of any shape. The point I am trying to make Ichigo is this; you should not have serviced me when I have yet to service you."

There was a momentary pause and then…

"…"

Ichigo laughed. He just couldn't help it. He just laughed. Of all the ridiculous things he'd ever heard!

Byakuya was not amused. "It is not funny."

The berry laughed even harder. "Yes, yes it is Byakuya. Here I thought you were gonna like kick me to the curb because your almighty morals or whatever had gotten the best of you. Here I was half expecting you to tell me to forget this ever happened and more importantly that I should forget all about you but instead,"

Ichigo was laughing so hard by now his eyes were watering "You feel as though you've committed some terrible sin or crime for not taking care of this." At 'this' Ichigo grabbed hold of his swollen junk and gave it a few tugs, then smirked up at the Kuchiki, "I've got a better idea, a way you can properly pay me back," a pause, "Ready for it?"

"It? You mean am I ready to service you?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Blow me Byakuya, say blow me it sounds sexier, "service" is too old school."

The nobleman frowned. "You know I am not exactly a spring chicken so if my age is an issue then-

Ichigo shook his head, flashed a wicked smirk and advanced on Byakuya with purpose stopping just inches before the man.

"Stop it Byakuya, just stop with the nonsense and get over here and suck and drink me down until I'm seeing nothing but stars," brown eyes flickered towards the open window and Ichigo tugged on his length again before looking back up at Byakuya "_Or_ we can continue this outside and you can bend me over the hood of your beloved Miata and _**fuck me**_ in the moonlight?"

()()

END

What? No buttsmex? Nah, not this time around. Hope you enjoyed all the same!

**THANKS FOR READING!**

_~SLY~_


	13. LIL' MASCOT PREVIEW

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH! I DO NOT OWN ICHIGO OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS! I WRITE FOR MY OWN ENJOYMENT AND THE ENJOYMENT OF OTHERS. I AM NOT KUBO-SENSEI!**

**Hello there everyone!**

**So here's a sneak peak at a new one-shot I'm in the process of writing. (Will be AixIchi and GrimmxIchi) Why because I haven't let Aizen-sama out to play in a long looong time and because a story isn't a story with out Grimmjow.**

**Loose summary…may change but probably not…anyway **

**This is what happened when Ichigo went to a house party and was pressured into 'stealing' a bottle of liquor from the wine cellar….**

**LIL' MASCOT**

"I'd almost commend you on your quick reflexes however I can't very well praise someone who was about to steal from my wine cellar, now can I?"

Ichigo sucks in a sharp breath and before he can even utter a word the man is a upon him, has caught hold of his arm (the one with the expensive bottle) and is pinning him with a penetrating stare, eyes like rich chocolate liquor found in his mother's favorite candy.

The berry teen couldn't look away if he tried. Movements sharp yet elegant the man then pries the bottle out of his grip and sets it back on its respectable wrack.

Ichigo tries to say something-anything but isn't sure how to even begin. "I-well I-

There is a slight resemblance of a smirk making its way on to the man's aristocratic face "You just wanted everyone to treat you like a true member of the team instead of just a little mascot?"

Ichigo flushes and glares up at the man not knowing who the hell he is and not caring in the least. He knows all he needs to know-this man is an asshole. A weird asshole that clearly does not understand the meaning of "personal space" or "keep your hands to yourself'.

He tilts Ichigo's chin upwards and continues in his smooth drawling sort of tone. In truth it sounds like more of a statement rather than an actual question.

"Tell me my little mascot, if I had not come back early and you had actually succeeded in your task, what would you have done?"

'_**I would have told Grimmjow I liked him-have liked him for a long time.' **_Thought Ichigo but of course the berry teen couldn't very well voice this out loud.

Not to this man. Never mind that he still didn't have a clue about who in the hell said man was perhaps a relative or guardian of Grimmjow's?

Dark eyes glittered behind thick-rimmed glasses. "Or more importantly what do you think the team would have done? Do you honestly believe they would have treated you as an equal? If you truly believe this then you are far more foolish than you appear." The man's fingers lightly brushed against Ichigo's lips.

Cinnamon-coffee eyes flashed angrily and Ichigo tried to bite the fingers that had no business being anywhere near his mouth.

The man chuckled seeming to find his reaction highly amusing, "Bit of a temper, I see."

The man was mocking him now. Ichigo was sure of it and he absolutely hated being mocked. He released a vicious snarl "You don't know shit about me! You are just some perverted bastard uncle who has nothing better to do with his time but accost a teenager for stealing a stupid bottle of wine."

A light chuckle, "You are only half right well technically more like a third but I've decided to give you a few additional points for your pure show of bravado."

WTF?

"Bastard!"

"Not quite but since I left home at the age of seventeen and haven't contacted either one of my parents since, I suppose I'll allow the term." The man loosened the crimson colored tie around his neck, "Now then as for your _punishment_…"

Ichigo's eyes widened in horror as he notes that the man's baritone has taken on a decidedly seductive sort of lilt. More than just a bit freaked out Ichigo made a move to leave but found his way was blocked. Glaring up at the man once more he growled out a, "Move!"

The man didn't even so much as lift a brow. On the contrary the brunet seemed even more amused so Ichigo decided that perhaps a different approach would be more effective.

Perhaps if he apologized to this man he could leave. The idea of bowing his head to a pervert made his stomach twist but the berry teen knew that it was probably the only way he would be able to go home-well short of licking the asshole's patented leather dress shoes. And there was no way in hell he would ever stoop that low.

So he bowed his head as lowly as his pride would allow him to and did his best to sound as sincere as possible. "Forgive me. I'm sorry for coming down into your wine cellar and speaking to you in such a disrespectful manner."

There was no immediate response. No way of knowing what the man thought of his apology. All Ichigo could do was wait and while he waited he absent-mindedly wondered what the hell was taking Grimmjow and the guys so long. It had been well over 15 minutes since he'd come down to the basement and not even one of them had thought to come and check on him.

'_**Some friends I've got. Really great guys thanks a lot.'**_

A hand patted his hair like one would a puppy. Ichigo raised his head and did his best not to scowl up at the man. He was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when fingers curled into his spiky orange locks and pulled.

"My dear little mascot, did you really think it would be that simple?"

()()

()

Heh…so there's the teaser…when the official edition is posted which I'm estimating …hmm 2-3 weeks tops it'll probably be tweaked a bit but more or less this is what you should expect…anyway hope to see you then!

~SLY~


	14. LIL' MASCOT LONG-SHOT NOW COMPLETE!

**Disclaimer: So after BLEACH reaches completion what's next for Kubo-sensei? Only he can answer this question and since I am not Kubo-sensei you're guess is as good as mine. I own zip, zilch, zero!**

**STARTING MONTH: DECEMBER (WRITING/DRAFTING)**

**WIP MONTH: JANUARY (TYPING/EDITING)**

**FINISH MONTH: FEBRUARY**

**()()**

**FUCK CENSORS! DON'T CALL IT PORN IF YOU'RE GONNA CENSOR IT! DON'T CALL IT EXPLICIT IF YOU CASTRATE SEXY MALE CHARACTERS! THIS JUST IN… SLY HATES CENSORING!**

A/N So I didn't quite make my deadline. Big shocker I rarely do never the less hopefully the length of this one shot will make up for my poor time management. Summary did change but the 'plot' remains the same.

**Oh and one more thing SLY does not know jack-diddle about sports…I** simply think Grimmjow would look hot in a football jersey or any jersey really but since it was football season in the USA…_heh_ yeah that's pretty much it! And yeah based on his build alone he'd probably be better suited for a linebacker or whatever …but whatever…just ignore the glaring errors and lose yourself in the fun that is SLY putting the spin on Kubo sensei's world and his characters. It's hard to give a "silent" character a voice. Hell it was hard to give all of Grimm's fraccion "voices" but I had fun all the same.

Summary:** Ichigo thinks all he needs is a little liquid courage and then he'll be able to confess to Grimmjow…Grimmjow already knows how the berry mascot feels about him and has their perfect night all planned out…Aizen…well Aizen is the uncle who came home much earlier than anyone expected.**

Warnings: **AU**, OOC-ness, ALCOHOL, perverts abound, SHIT-TONS OF DIALOGUE, fast-paced, language, spelling, grammar, lovesick!Ichigo, lovesick!Grimmjow, invincible!Aizen, Ichigo is clueless except he's really not, Ichigo is innocent but not quite, Ichigo is a fast learner and often in denial about things, Aizen is an asshole but he has his reasons, Grimmjow is a bit of a jack ass at times but its hardly his fault, other pairings loosely implied, "teasing/torture", confusion, fluff, light-angst, punctuation, Ichigo's inner thoughts and wavering decisions/emotions, Aizen's version of "20 QUESTIONS", run-ons, Grimmjows "daydreams/fantasy sequences" viewpoint switches, LIME/LEMON-**citrus**, bi-polar behavior/twisted mindset, multiple-personalities, inappropriate uses of ice cubes**, happy endings**…yeah and some other stuff typically found in SLY's fanfiction.

Inspiration for this one-shot comes from a combination of my overactive mind, various YAOI manga and more.

SPECIAL THANK YOUS GO OUT TO: **krito1389, otakuichigo, Voluptuous**

Right then so…ENJOY!

_LIL' MASCOT_

()

Kurosaki Ichigo is a bit of a nervous wreck which he knows is rather stupid but he can't help it. The opportunity he has been waiting for-the night he has secretly been dreaming about is about to become a reality.

At exactly 6:15 pm Ichigo is going to walk out his door, sit on the front steps of his porch and wait for the star quarterback, one Grimmjow Jeagerjaques to pick him up and take him to a house party. Well calling it a house party isn't quite accurate since the blue-haired jock described it as more of a small get together-a guys night in doing guy things…but Ichigo is calling it a party for the sake of definition.

And anyway none of that matters. The only thing that matters to the berry mascot is the fact that he has been asked to a social gathering by the very same guy (actually the only guy) he's been obsessing over for the past 2 years.

Yes Ichigo has a hardcore crush-holds a deep burning lust for the other boy although calling Grimmjow a boy seems kind of silly since there's nothing boyish about the 6 foot 1 sex god.

But since they are in the same year by definition it is technically correct.

Ichigo isn't a coward. He's not typically shy or unsure about himself per se its more like...the lil' berry mascot just isn't quite sure how to carry out his confession. Unsure about what the best method is and so he is seeking advice from one of his long time best friends, one Abarai Renji.

()

Yes Grimmjow Jeagerjaques had the perfect night all planned out-like a movie the fantasy played in his head.

_**After Nnoi and the boys took they're happy asses on home Grimmjow would make his move-play it real cool and casual. Maybe put on some tunes or a movie? Give Kurosaki the impression that nothing was going to happen. Just two guys hanging out enjoying each other's company.**_

_**Ichigo, (because yes it was far more fitting for Grimmjow to address his berry mascot by his first name in his head) being the smart lil' bastard he was would eye him suspiciously sensing that the jock was planning something.**_

'_**What are you up to?'**_

_**And Grimmjow being the cool cat he was (especially in his own fantasies) would fein innocence and say "Nothin' stop being so paranoid.' The berry teen still would not believe him so Grimmjow would have to continue the charade a little longer. **_

_**Grabbing the TV remote, turning up the volume sprawling out like a panther in a den, completely at ease. Slowly bit-by-bit Ichigo would stop being so paranoid and he'd relax. Grimmjow watches the other teen from the corner of his eye and he waits for the Ichigo to become fully engrossed with the television.**_

_**Gradually Grimmjow scoots a little closer but again being the smart guy he is the lil' strawberry mascot would turn to him with an accusing glare as if asking, "What do you think you're doing?"**_

_**Grimmjow would feign innocence once again and say something along the lines of "I'm only stretching out a bit more, chill out and enjoy the movie."**_

_**This time, much quicker than the first the berry would comply. Grimmjow would grin and give himself a pat on the back.**_

_**30 minutes into the movie and only a tiny amount of space is left between him and his berry prize. Ichigo has become so entranced by the movie there's no way he'll suspect what's coming next.**_

"_**You know you can always rest your head on me, I'm not gonna bite."**_

_**It could be Grimmjow's imagination but he rather believe it isn't (even though the whole scenario is taking place inside his mind) Ichigo's cheeks turn slightly pink at the suggestion and Grimmjow can't help but think 'Damn he's so cute when he does that.'**_

_**Blushing doesn't happen much at least not to Grimmjow's knowledge. Maybe Ichigo just hides it really well?**_

"_**No thanks I'm fine."**_

_**Grimmjow does not miss the sudden crack in the berry mascot's voice and he can feel a full on Cheshire cat style grin making its way on his face.**_

_**He'll bet anything that Ichigo is half hard right now. It's all too perfect really. He just needs to close the last inch of space between them. And so he does.**_

_**It's not with out error.**_

_**Grimmjow moves too fast and winds up smacking his wrist against the coffee table when he goes to lift the other teen up and pull him into his lap. And rather than welcome the embrace willingly the berry mascot is quick to protest as he turns five brilliant shades of crimson and shouts **_

"_**What the hell are you doing? Put me down! I wanna see what happens in the movie. Oi! Oi are you-I know you can hear m-mmph!"**_

_**Yes mmph quickly transforms into mmmm and other delightful sounds-like groaning and whimpering and-**_

_**()()**_

_**THE SOUND OF BREAKS SCREECHING PULLS GRIMMJOW FROM HIS DAYDREAMING….**_

_A screeching voice is quick to follow_

"_CHEESE AND RICE JEAGERJAQUES! WHAT THE FUCK YA THINK YOU'RE DOING SPACING OUT BEHIND THE FUCKING WHEEL?" (1)_

Grimmjow blinks and looks over at who is sitting in the passenger side. It takes him a moment to recognize the long glaring face of Nnoitra and then another moment to realize what the other teen is trying to tell him. He's driving in a truck…on the road…the highway to be exact and the day he's been waiting all damn week for has finally come.

Grimmjow glances in his rear-view mirror and remembers that the rest of his teammates are in the back or following close behind in D-Roy's van.

What else is there for him to say but…

"The important thing is no one actually died so calm the fuck down Nnoi."

The taller teen starts screeching and bitching at him again but Grimmjow decides to tune it out_._

()()

Renji is not exactly tickled pink with Ichigo's sexual preferences-the less information he knows the better but since they are friends the redhead feels it is only natural that he should show a fair amount of concern.

"You can't seriously be thinking about going Ichigo."

"Not thinking my friend. I've already made up my mind. And when the party is in full swing I'm going to tell Grimmjow that I like him. Problem is I don't know how to do that, that's where you come in."

Renji rubs his neck and pulls at the collar of his zebra-striped muscle-tee clearly uncomfortable. "I don't know Ichigo jeez why don't you just grab his face and kiss him?"

The berry teen flushed a bright red "Hell no! I mean yeah I wanna kiss him and touch and him and-

"Too much information!"

"Shut up Renji! All I'm saying is yeah I wanna do all those things but not in front of the guys. I gotta figure out a way to get Grimmjow alone."

"Look Ichigo why don't you ask Rukia or Hime-chan about this? I mean I'm no expert on this…" Renji paused and scrunched his nose before continuing "gay stuff" so… yeah."

Ichigo completely ignored Renji's look of unease and said,

"Because Rukia and Inoue would only try to turn this into some cheesy romance manga, they'd tell me I should sit down and write a poem or serenade him out side his bedroom window. I don't want to do any of that because gay or not I'm still a guy."

"Ichigo you-arghh look getting mixed up with the guys on the football team will only bring you trouble."

'_Especially when they find out you're a flaming homo._' The redhead finished inwardly.

Trouble? Nah? Sure a few guys from the team might be wigged out or whatever but Ichigo figured so long as he promised not to hit on any of them or talk about his feelings or make moon eyes at Grimmjow then it would be okay. The guys would learn to deal.

"What are you talking about Renji? I'm already on the team even if I am just the mascot."

Renji pinched the skin between his tattooed brows. Ichigo and his whole 'I'm in love with a jock' nonsense was giving him a headache. '_Of all people why that guy?_

Love was unpredictable.

Yeah Renji understood this well enough and even though he wasn't exactly a homophobe per se he couldn't help but think his berry friends' life would be a lot easier if he just went and hooked up with the head cheerleader instead.

"Look I don't trust those guys. I mean their big and mean and UGLY-specially the one with the saw-like teeth-wouldn't be surprised if he murdered someone and buried the poor soul in his back yard.

Oh and can't forget about the one with freakishly long limbs either I know the dude claims to be a Catholic by praying to his _Santa Teresa_ or whatever but I swear he musta made a deal with the devil himself because its just not natural to have a-Oi Ichigo! Oi! Are you even listening to me?"

Actually, no Ichigo wasn't listening to Renji. The moment the redhead started going into a rant about D-Roy being a "killer" and Nnoitra being a "demon" the berry mascot decided he much rather spend his time looking out the window and seeing if he could spot the familiar black pick up.

He knows it hasn't even turned 6' o clock but he was secretly hoping that maybe (just maybe) the blue-haired Adonis would drop by a little earlier.

"Ichigo!"

"What?" Ichigo snapped irritably and then turned away from the window.

"Don't you "what" me man I wouldn't even be telling you any of this if I didn't care."

Ichigo sighed and noted that his friends' hair had come loose from its topknot and his face was flushed with anger-no not anger more like extreme frustration.

"Look man all I'm saying is just be careful when you hang around those guys. Rukia would never forgive me-hell I would never forgive myself if something happened to you."

Renji's tone was completely serious now and Ichigo was reminded of the main reason he had befriended the tattooed redhead in the first place. Underneath his hotheaded bravado and horrible fashion sense Renji was a good person.

"Thanks Renji."

"Yeah don't mention it," Renji rubbed the back of his neck and shifted from one foot to the other "And uh if you want me to tag along just you know just until I'm absolutely sure they won't try to-

Ichigo shook his head and cut Renji off. Not that he didn't appreciate his friends offer but he was already nervous enough as it is, having the other boy hover over him all night would not help matters.

"I know and I appreciate it but it's not necessary since I can take care of myself."

True. Very true. At first appearances Ichigo didn't look like much of a threat but he could brawl with the best of em' and his speed alone was bordering along the line of lethal and animalistic but still…

Still the sense of unease could not quite leave Renji especially since most of the guys on the football team were much bigger than his berry friend and 7 on 1 was never a fair fight especially if one of those bastards grabbed Ichigo from behind or slipped something into his drink or swung a bat at the back of his head?

Renji cringed and mentally berated himself for conjuring up such god-awful images. _'Stupid brain! Shut up! Ichigo will be just fine-he's proven it more than once.'_

"Alright well I guess there's nothing else to discuss so I'm gonna head out now but uh I'll keep my phone on."

His girlfriend Nel wouldn't like it because she'd automatically jump to the wrong conclusion and think he was text-ing another girl but Renji's motto had been and would always be 'bros before ho's' so if Nel didn't like it she could pack her bags and crawl on back to the roadside motel he'd first met her at.

Sure it would kind of suck to let her go-he wouldn't be able to fall asleep and wake up on her lovely breasts that were softer than any pillow he'd ever owned anymore but Renji had known Ichigo forever so if it came down to it he'd still pick his berry friend over anyone else.

He _really_ hoped it wouldn't come to that though.

"But you haven't given me any advice."

Ichigo was pouting now. And although he would surely deny it if called out on it yes it was a practiced pout. He did it in order to get what he wanted out of his friends. Renji fell hook, line and sinker every time.

Renji snorted in amusement. Not that he would admit it out loud because to do so would have him questioning some other things about himself but in the privacy of his own thoughts the redhead couldn't help but find Ichigo's pout to be well…rather _adorable._

"Fine if grabbing Jeager's face and kissing him is too fast for you then why don't you offer him half of your twin- pop or something like little boys give to girls they like in grade school?"

Ichigo's face turned red again as he tried to picture such a scenario. NO! He couldn't! If he attempted something so juvenile he'd only become a laughing stock.

"No I don't think that's a good idea either," a sigh, "thanks for trying though." He clapped Renji on the shoulder. "Get home safe."

Renji rolled his eyes and raised his voice to a high-pitched falsetto "_Yes mother _I'll be sure to look both ways when I cross the street and not talk to any strangers unless a hot chick with cross bows appears in which case…" here the redhead waggled his brows and his tone returned to normal, "I'll follow her any where even if it is hell."

"Whatever dumb ass, just get going!" With a friendly shove Ichigo sent his friend on his way.

()

The party is officially in full swing and Ichigo still hasn't mustered up the courage to pull Grimmjow away to a nice secluded corner and confess.

Not for lack of trying-it was just well…Grimmjow was currently busying playing host.

Whose brilliant idea had it been to pick up bowling balls and use them as weapons again? Oh yeah that's right it had been Luppi's, the single most effeminate looking guy on the football team. He had thought it would be oh so grand to work on his reflexes-seemed to get some kind of perverse joy out of dodging large, hard and round objects.

Ichigo thought it was a load of crap. Didn't care one damn bit about such a stupid game and didn't care much for the star receiver on the Seireitei Death Guardians. Luppi was nothing more than an attention whore.

Of course there was a plus side to all of this. Ichigo got to watch Grimmjow flex his many muscles without having to be concerned about being caught but still…the berry mascot felt more annoyed than anything.

'_Maybe Renji was right I shouldn't have even agreed to come. Hell these guys probably wouldn't even care if I left. Since after all its not like their my actual friends, not really.'_

Feeling sorry for himself and just the slightest bit irritated with his oblivious crush Ichigo went off to sulk in the corner. And then without meaning to he fell asleep.

…

Only to be woken by someone throwing a bucket of water over his head.

"Gah!"

"Falling asleep at a party is bad manners Kuro-bro, surely you're not implying that we're boring you, are you?"

"…"

Two sets of eyes glared down at him. Ichigo sat and up and looked at Ilfort and then Nakim.

The duo was constantly together even though they were total and complete opposites. Literally like night and day. Nakim was a heavy-set teen with dark and harsh features, never spoke a word, crafty with his large hands. Ilfort was tall and slim with light and soft features, carried himself with pride, as elegant as a swan but with a temper like a bull. (2)

Ichigo had never had much interaction with either boy but from basic observations he concluded they were the least harmless out of all of Grimmjow's friends.

"I wasn't bored," Ichigo lied smoothly (although in truth it didn't come out as smooth as he would have liked) "I just don't have any interest in throwing balls."

'_Perhaps if it was a different ball activity I'd be game but-gah! Stop! Not now Ichigo-save the perverted gay boy thoughts for later…if there is a later.'_

"No interest in throwing balls, well then what are you interested in? A horror flick? An action movie…_porn_?" Here Ilfort raised a delicate blond brow.

'_Don't blush! Don't blush! Don't blush! Whatever you do don't do something lame like blush at the mere mention of porn Ichigo!'_

Not sure how to respond but proud that his little inner pep talk was working and no blush was rising to his face, Ichigo settled for a simple shrugging of his shoulders.

Apparently this was an efficient enough of a response for Ilfort and Nakim since after a simple head jerk from the blond the stocky lineman grabbed the remote control and flipped on the tv-no not just one tv but three flat screen tv's all at once.

On the first screen an action thriller was playing-some broad in a skin-tight see through dress and hot pink high heels was running through an abandoned factory screaming her lungs out as a man in a horned mask chased her. On the second screen two girls were making out and petting each other heavily while they rolled around in a kiddy-sized pool filled with butterscotch pudding. On the third screen two high power-engine sport cars raced across a rocky terrain.

And then the pair looked at Ichigo expectantly.

"Well…?"

"…?"

Well what? What did they expect from him?

"The action thriller I guess." Truthfully the berry mascot didn't care one way or another.

Ilfort grinned at him. "Good answer. Now scoot over!" and then without further warning the blond plopped down right next to Ichigo on the sofa.

Less than a blink later, Nakim sat down on Ichigo's other side officially sandwiching the berry in.

He wasn't particularly thrilled with being in such a position but figured it was really no different than hanging out with Renji or Keigo or Chado and eventually was able to settle down and watch the movie.

Movies typically ran from 1 to 2 hours so maybe by the time the ending credits rolled around Grimmjow and the other guys would be finished with the "bowling" and his crush would actually pay some attention to him.

Well actually the berry mascot would just prefer it if the other guys left and he had his blue-haired hottie all to himself.

…

Without really meaning to Ichigo fell asleep a second time and had to be woken up with another bucket of water but that wasn't even the most embarrassing part.

Oh no this time was much worse because he hadn't simply fallen asleep, he'd fallen asleep on top of Nakim and Ilfort had fallen asleep on top of him and now Grimmjow and the rest of the guys on the team were looming over them-the expressions on their faces anything but friendly.

"Well now isn't this a cozy scene?"

"Hehehe I'll say just look at them all bundled up."

"Like three little pigs in a blanket."

"Hmm I'd say more like widdle babbies in a cradle…want your baba little babies?"

"So should we even ask or…?"

"I think I threw up a little in my mouth just now."

"You shut up! Seriously what's this all about Kuro-berry?"

"…"

Ichigo cringed and silently screamed/prayed for the couch to open up and swallow him whole.

To his mounting horror Ilfort merely yawned, ruffled his hair and then rose from the couch, announcing that he had to take a trip to the _'lavatory'_ in a fake English accent. As for Nakim? Well as expected the darker teen said nothing, just simply got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen.

Leaving Ichigo to face interrogation time alone. He felt like a tiny little insignificant mouse that had mistakenly wandered into the lion's den. He cringed again and sunk even deeper into the couch._ 'Seriously? This can't be happening…couldn't they have at least helped me out a little bit?'_

"It wasn't anything like that the movie was boring we passed out-that's all." He looked over at Grimmjow and silently pleaded with the blunet _'Please believe me-I only have eyes for you!'_

Grimmjow's expression was indecipherable but he was gnawing on the inside of his jaw hard enough to crack nuts so…the berry mascot had a feeling his silent message had not been received.

"That's all you say," Luppi's tone was so annoyingly sing-song as he stepped out in front and did a totally non-masculine twirl, "Some how I'm not sure I buy it since after all a_nyone_ can tell you're a-ouch! Hey! What the lemme-go-mph!"

"Quiet you! No cares to hear your opinion so just keep your comments to yourself."

"Yeah pipe down _nino_ the big boys are having a conversation."

Ichigo would be grateful towards Shawlong really he would but the boy with the scorpion braid was really quite intimidating with that angry expression of his and as for Edo …well the guy's hairstyle was even stranger than his own and-

It didn't matter if Ichigo looked from one football player to another he could still feel accusing electric blues boring into his skull.

He glanced over and did his best not to flinch or flush. Grimmjow still hadn't said a word nor had his expression changed.

"So Ichi mind if we ask ya why?" _'Nnoitra's grin is waaaay more creepy than his long limbs.'_

"We'll respect you more if you're honest Ichigo, just sayin."

'_You're the only one whose ever calls me Ichigo…I wonder why that is Tesla.'_

Ichigo blinked dumbly. He wasn't sure how to answer the question-well or rather he wasn't sure what else he could say to try and convince the guys that nothing funny had taken place between Ilfort, Nakim and himself.

Minutes ticked by…

"_Ahh ah_ this is getting so laaaaame. I say we ignore the uber gay scene that happened just now and get drunk?"

Drunk? Now there was a grand idea if Ichigo ever heard one. Yes yes all he needed was a little liquid courage. '_Why didn't I think of that before?'_ He made a mental note to thank D-Roy. _'Renji doesn't know what he's talking about, this guy actually seems pretty cool.'_

"Sounds okay to me."

Ichigo wasn't that familiar with alcohol but he figured a beer or some tequila would be all right.

Which apparently wasn't the right thing to say since now everyone was looking at him strangely again… no not strangely but at him with surprise.

Ichigo was ready to back track when after what felt like too long Grimmjow's feral feline like grin split across his chiseled features, "Yeah let's do this!"

"I'm down."

"Me too."

"Fuck yeah!"

"And since it was Ichi's idea he can be the one to go get."

Yeah that sounded…Wait! What?

"Great idea Nnoi! Well what ya waiting for Kuro-berry? Hop to it!"

"Me? Why me?"

"It's cuz of you that everyone's actin' strange so-

"Yeah you gotta take responsibility _amigo_."

"Yeah Kurosaki, be a man."

Be a man? Well yeah okay that made some sense but there was one tiny problem.

"Uh I'm not exactly legal…er actually none of us are and-he trailed off when the group broke out into loud laughter.

Ichigo shuddered suddenly feeling as if he were surrounded by a pack of hyenas instead of lions.

"Don't be stupid _Kuro-bitchcakes_ no one expects you to actually go and buy liquor all ya gotta do is-yeeeeouch! What the fuck is your problem stop smacking me you big ape!"

"_Huh_, you know you like it."

Bitch-cakes? Ichigo was no expert but if any one was going to call anyone a bitch than Luppi was more of a bitch than he was right? _Right?_ He shook his head deciding to just ignore the obvious insult.

"If you don't expect me to buy liquor then how-?"

"All you got to do is go down to the cellar."

Ilfort reappeared with Nakim just a few steps behind him.

Ichigo decided it was best not to think on how both boys had come from the kitchen when Ilfort had clearly stated that he was using the bathroom earlier.

The cellar? Grimmjow had a cellar in his house? Well it was…big enough but…

"I don't know I mean if its Grimmjow's house shouldn't he be the one to go down to the cellar."

"Heh heh, well I could but I'd rather not." Electric blues glittered with pure amusement and well…Ichigo had no choice but to cave.

"Fine."

"Oh don't sound so put out Kurosaki-look me and the boys are gonna step out for a bit but it shouldn't take long. So you just gather up the booze and-"

Wait! Grimmjow was leaving? All of the guys were leaving? Ichigo didn't understand.

"What about getting drunk?"

'_What if Renji is right and they're about to pull some kind of cruel joke on me?'_

"No worries Kuro-bro we'll drink when we return."

"…"

"That's right Ichi, you just select the best liquor and then put it in the fridge to chill and we'll down it when we get back."

"No cheap crap either…get the good stuff…like aged wine or rum…yeah."

Ichigo still didn't understand. Why were they all leaving? And acting so weird…not that he knew them all that well but…

"Stop making such a face, if you're good we'll bring you something back."

"It's what friends do."

_**Friends?**_

Ichigo wasn't sure what to make of D-Roy winking at him just then. Hell he wasn't sure what to make of anything.

He looked to Grimmjow for an explanation-a better explanation but the blunet was already half way out the door.

"Catch you in a bit _Kuro-bitchcakes_-owwww! Would you stop fucking hitting me!"

"Not until you learn to watch your mouth."

"Tch. Ass-munch."

"Heh and you know you like that too."

"Shut up you big idiot not in front of-

Ichigo decided to not think too hard on the weird atmosphere between Luppi and Edo either. He was better off not knowing.

"And _YOU_ keep the doors locked."

()()

After a long 16 hour flight the only thing a man like Aizen Sosuke wanted to do was unwind by sitting in a hot bath with a chilled glass of red wine-to shut out the world and all of its insignificant inhabitants and not to be disturbed until morning.

Silence-blissful silence of the grandest kind.

But the angels in heaven and the demons in hell did not seem to give one damn about what Aizen wanted.

()

For as he pulled into his driveway Aizen soon discovers that a peaceful night is out of the question. There is a beat up ugly gray van parked out on his front lawn, the flowers he soiled and planted with his own two hands now crushed beneath heavy tires.

His faithful pit-bull Gin has been chained up to his doghouse, his beautiful white coat spray-painted a garish neon purple color. There is a crack in one of the front windows and all of the lights have been left on.

Gritting his pearly white teeth, Aizen marches up the steps and enters the house fully intending to wring his arrogant block-headed nephew by his neck-not caring in the least if the punk has company.

()

"Grimmjow what have I told you about leaving all the lights on?"

Billionaire or not Aizen does not like to waste things unnecessarily that includes electricity.

Feeling more than a bit foolish when he discovers that said block-headed nephew is nowhere in sight the man sweeps his fingers through his silky brown hair and heads for the upstairs only to pause when the faintest sound of muffled steps moving around in the basement reaches his ears.

Grinning like a devilish madman both friend and enemy alike have often accused him of being Aizen switches his direction and sets off towards the basement.

Grimmjow probably thinks he's real clever hiding out in the basement's wine cellar…

'_The fool.'_

()()

But Aizen quickly discovers that it isn't his nephew hiding out in the basement's wine cellar –oh no it is some one else.

And not just a random person either but Seireitei's very own strawberry mascot.

Why the boy is here remains to be known but Aizen is most curious to find out.

()

Ichigo is just about ready to give up. He doesn't know anything about alcohol and half of the names on the fancy bottles are damn near impossible to pronounce_. 'Why am I doing this again?'_

Oh yeah…liquid courage was the reason. Ichigo releases a sigh and lifts one of the bottles off the rack and nearly has a heart attack at the sound of footsteps.

()

A man comes into view-a man Ichigo does not recognize but who manages to startle him bad enough that the bottle starts slipping from his fingers. Just split seconds before it falls and shatters the berry mascot snaps to attention and catches it.

"I'd almost commend you on your quick reflexes however I can't very well praise someone who was about to steal from my wine cellar, now can I?"

Ichigo sucks in a sharp breath and before he can even utter a word the man is a upon him, has caught hold of his arm (the one with the expensive bottle) and is pinning him with a penetrating stare, eyes like rich chocolate liquor found in his late mother's favorite candy.

The berry teen couldn't look away if he tried. Movements sharp yet elegant the man then pries the bottle out of his grip and sets it back on its respectable wrack.

Ichigo tries to say something-anything but isn't sure how to even begin. "I-well I-

There is a slight resemblance of a smirk making its way on to the man's aristocratic face "You just wanted everyone to treat you like a true member of the team instead of just a little mascot?"

Ichigo flushes and glares up at the man not knowing who the hell he is and not caring in the least. He knows all he needs to know-this man is an asshole. A weird asshole that clearly does not understand the meaning of "personal space" or "keep your hands to yourself'.

He tilts Ichigo's chin upwards and continues in his smooth drawling sort of tone. In truth it sounds like more of a statement rather than an actual question.

"Tell me my little mascot, if I had not come back early and you had actually succeeded in your task, what would you have done?"

_'I would have told Grimmjow I liked him-have liked him for a long time.'_ Thought Ichigo but of course the berry teen couldn't very well voice this out loud.

Not to this man. Never mind that he still didn't have a clue about who in the hell said man was perhaps a relative or guardian of Grimmjow's?

Dark eyes glittered behind thick-rimmed glasses. "Or more importantly what do you think the team would have done? Do you honestly believe they would have treated you as an equal? If you truly believe this then you are far more foolish than you appear." The man's fingers lightly brushed against Ichigo's lips.

Cinnamon-coffee eyes flashed angrily and Ichigo tried to bite the fingers that had no business being anywhere near his mouth.

The man chuckled seeming to find his reaction highly amusing, "Bit of a temper, I see."

The man was mocking him now. Ichigo was sure of it and he absolutely hated being mocked.

He released a vicious snarl "You don't know shit about me! You are just some perverted bastard uncle who has nothing better to do with his time but accost a teenager for stealing a stupid bottle of wine."

A light chuckle, "You are only half correct well technically more like a third but I've decided to give you a few additional points for your pure show of bravado."

WTF?

_**"Bastard!"**_

"Not quite but since I left home at the age of seventeen and haven't contacted either one of my parents since, I suppose I'll allow the term." The man loosened the crimson colored tie around his neck, "Now then as for your _punishment…"_

Ichigo's eyes widened in horror as he notes that the man's baritone has taken on a decidedly seductive sort of lilt.

More than just a bit freaked out Ichigo made a move to leave but found his way was blocked. Glaring up at the man once more he growled out a, "_**Move!"**_

The man didn't even so much as lift a brow. On the contrary the brunet seemed even more amused so Ichigo decided that a different approach would be more effective.

Perhaps if he apologized to this man he could leave. The idea of bowing his head to a pervert made his stomach twist but the berry teen knew that it was probably the only way he would be able to go home-well short of licking the asshole's patented leather dress shoes. And there was no way in hell he would ever stoop that low.

So he bowed his head as lowly as his pride would allow him to and did his best to sound as sincere as possible. "Forgive me. I'm sorry for coming down into your wine cellar and speaking to you in such a disrespectful manner."

There was no immediate response. No way of knowing what the man thought of his apology. All Ichigo could do was wait and while he waited he absent-mindedly wondered what the hell was taking Grimmjow and the guys so long.

It had been well over 30 minutes since he'd come down to the basement and still the guys hadn't returned or if they had not a single one of them had thought to come and check on him.

_**'Some friends. Really great guys, thanks a lot…guess it serves me right for ignoring Renji's warnings.'**_

A hand patted his hair like one would a puppy. Ichigo raised his head and did his best not to scowl up at the man. He was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when fingers curled into his spiky orange locks and pulled.

"My dear little mascot, did you really think it would be that simple?"

Orange brows furrowed and Ichigos' gut churned, "So what do you want then if not an apology?"

Dark eyes flickered, it was the only warning the berry teen had before the man forcefully pulled him upward and attacked his mouth with a bruising kiss.

()()

Grimmjow felt a sudden chill go up his spine. If he were the superstitious type he would have thought that the "chill" was a bad omen-a sign that something unpleasant was happening or was about to happen.

But Grimmjow didn't believe in crap like "omens" and chocked the chill up to nothing more than the simple fact that he was currently standing in the middle of the frozen section in the late night convenience store dressed in a simple jersey and cargo shorts.

He grabbed the last carton of lemon ice and threw it into his basket along with the other items he intended to purchase-not caring in the least that he probably looked like a complete homo in that moment.

If anyone tried to fuck with him Grimmjow would make sure it was the last thing the stupid fucktard ever did.

But no one did fuck with the blue-haired jock because the convenience store was more or less deserted only the clerk, Grimmjow and his friends were inside it at this time.

"Yo _amigo_ you ready to go?"

"Yeah man I think we've left Kuro-bitchcakes by his self for long enough, little bastards' probably cryin' by now."

"Shut the fuck up Luppi! Kuro-berry's not that weak!"

"…"

"Yeah, yeah I heard that guy has actually been through some crazy ass shit. His twin brother tried to off himself last March and his deadbeat dad has been to rehab twice and his mom-

"Stop making crap up! Kuro-bro is about as normal as any of us-all that shit about his old man and his brother is bullshit and as for his mother well-

"All of you shut the fuck up! You don't know nothin' bout nothin' and if you keep it up I'll _rip _your fucking throats out!"

"Eeek! Touchy, touchy no need to get so worked up."

"…"

"Yeah ease up Grimm its not that serious."

"Yeah cool your jets big cat. None of us actually believe the shit that Luppi says."

"That's right he's pathetic ass liar with nothing better to do."

"Hey! I'm not a liar I only tell it like it is and I still say Kuro-bitchcakes is-

Electric blues flashed dangerously and every loud mouth on Grimmjow's team fell silent.

Fed up with all the bullshit Grimmjow advanced towards Luppi and aimed a kick at the smaller teen's head and sent him flying into the magazine rack.

D-Roy, Edo, Ilfort, Shawlong and Nakim wisely kept their mouths shut…well Nakim always kept his mouth shut up but still point here was Grimmjow got his message across loud and clear.

A whistle of appreciation came from behind. "Not bad Jag, not bad at all."

Grimmjow turned at the voice and a grin stretched across his face. "Nnoi its bout time, thought you were gonna spend all night messing 'round with Tesla in there."

In "there" meaning the little closed in bathroom stall inside the convenience store.

Nnoitra zipped up his fly and lightly patted Tesla on the head.

The sandy blond scowled but didn't move away from his significant other.

Grimmjow found the whole thing rather amusing but decided to keep his thoughts and commentary to himself.

Nnoitra picked up a bag of tequila lime flavored chips and tossed them into Grimmjow's basket, then grinned knowingly at the blunet, "So knocking Lu the fuck out wouldn't have anything to do with a certain mascot named Ichi would it?"

An electric blue brow twitched and Grimmjow snarled at Nnoitra. "Don't ask questions when you already know the answer, dumb ass."

The dark haired teen only grinned wider and slapped the blunet on his muscled shoulder. "Then let's head back. Ichi's waited long enough."

Nnoitra's words reminded Grimmjow of the main reason he'd decided to make a late night trip to the convenience store in the first place. He passed his basket over to Nakim and with a jerk of his head the heavy set teen nodded in understanding and headed towards the front.

Then Grimmjow turned back to Nnoitra and Tesla and said, "Listen I got grab a few more things but you guys go on ahead and I'll catch up to you."

Nnoitra sneered, "What you expect us to pay for all that shit?"

"No dumb ass!" Grimmjow fished into his pocket and pulled out a rolled up wad of bills and shoved it into Tesla's open palm, "Here this should cover it!"

Nnoitra eyed the cash greedily and then snatched it out of Tesla's hand. Tesla didn't so much as lift a brow in protest.

"Don't expect to be paid back."

Electric blues rolled towards the ceiling. "Wouldn't dream of the impossible."

"Whatever numb nuts, just don't take forever or we'll leave without cha."

Grimmjow flipped the bird and turned down the next aisle.

()()

"Mmphrrrr!-get off!"

Ichigo wasn't the violent type unless he absolutely needed to be. Having a tongue forced down his throat was plenty reason. He had no other option but to bite the man's tongue.

He ignored the sharp tang of metallic crimson flooding into his mouth and pushed the asshole off and ran for the staircase.

()

Aizen had merely wished to learn more about the youth-thought they could discuss things over a cup of tea upstairs in his office… but that all changed the moment the berry mascot attacked.

()

Ichigo didn't think the man would recover so quickly and literally be right on his heels, clawing and tearing at his thin "_I'm just a mascot_" tee shirt and forcefully trying to drag him back down the stairs.

Ichigo was not some helpless damsel in distress so he kicked and fought and bit the man again-tasted more blood-behaving more like a wild animal than a teenage boy in that moment.

If the bastard pervert had any kind of conscience at all he'd give up before things turned really ugly.

Unfortunately Ichigo discovered that his struggling and his kicking and clawing and biting only encouraged the man-

A crazed look shined in the deep dark pools of chocolate and Ichigo shuddered. But rather than shutting down and admitting defeat-rather than surrendering the berry mascot fought harder-moved faster-

Ichigo figured if he could just knock the glasses off the man's face it would be enough of a distraction-while the man searched and went to retrieve his glasses he could escape…

In theory it should have worked. Glasses weren't cheap after all and a rich bastard like this should surely shit a brick or two at the thought of something expensive being broken or cracked-

But no the bastard only became that much more determined as he grabbed hold of Ichigo's arm and nearly ripped it right out of its socket.

()

()

Distracted by the shock of pain shooting up his arm Ichigo hadn't noticed a flash of red in the corner of his eye until it was too little too late… the man quickly gagged him with his crimson colored tie and murmured…

"_Just remember you brought this on yourself."_

()()

In Aizen's defense he had just intended on teasing the boy a little bit-he hadn't expected the little mascot to react so violently from a mere kiss and then try to run and flee like a scared rabbit in the forest.

Alas young Ichigo had given him no other choice but to restrain him.

()

()

()()

Admittedly Grimmjow felt a bit guilty for leaving Ichigo all by himself for so long but at the same time he couldn't have very well let the orange-haired mascot tag along-it would have ruined the surprise.

And that would just not do because Grimmjow has been planning to seduce the little mascot for weeks-no longer than that much longer.

Shortly after meeting the other teen…

_FLASHBACK_

_He'd come across the fight by chance and only select students remained on the grounds but of course Grimmjow hadn't cared about any of them-his interest and focus lie solely on boy in dark hoodie and black and red gym shorts. Quick and light on his feet and sharp and exact with his strikes and counters-it was as if a little human fireball had blazed across the schoolyard._

_After the victor was announced and the small crowd cleared Grimmjow sauntered over to the "fireball" ready to strike up a conversation or issue a challenge? Which ever came first but felt his tongue get caught in his throat when the hood fell away and the "fireball" turned to him and raised a brow in question._

"…_?"_

_In the shortest and simplest of terms the "fireball" was hot. Not just hot because of his fighting aura or whatever no the guy was literally physically hot and Grimmjow had to force himself to walk away before he did something stupid and reckless…_

_Well actually the star quarterback did plenty of stupid and reckless things on the daily but this…was a whole nother ball game-a game Grimmjow wasn't sure he was ready to play._

…

_Or so he had thought._

_Right up until the following week when coach announced…_

"_We got a new mascot."_

'_Fucking idiot coach why doesn't he just hurry up and hire us some cheerleaders like normal teams instead of wasting time on dumb ass mascots.'_

_A life size strawberry stepped out on to the field and started doing a series of different flips, kicks and jumps in the air. At first Grimmjow didn't think much of it-just another idiot freshman in a costume desperate for attention._

_But then half way through practice the little mascot threw off his costume and revealed himself-it was the same human fireball from the previous week-electric blues growing to a comically wide degree as the thin white shirt and cherry red booty shorts underneath rose higher and higher with each turn and trick of his shapely body, Grimmjow not only had the nosebleed of the century but he wound up knocking over half of his team mates in order to get with in reach of the hot human "fireball"_

_Who would later introduce himself as "Kurosaki Ichigo, I originally wanted to join the pom-pom squad but they wouldn't let me so…mascot was the next best choice.'_

_Grimmjow couldn't tell if the other boy was joking and he didn't care, "I'm the QB of the SDGuardians, welcome to the team."_

_()_

Grimmjow grinned at the memory and grabbed a box of condoms and some lube off the shelf and headed towards the check out.

()

()

When Ichigo opens his eyes (_when exactly did I lose consciousness?)_ he discovers that although the gag around his mouth is gone his hands are tightly bound together and his body is hanging suspended in the air from something that can only be defined as a swing.

Not the kind of swing children plays on at the park either.

In addition to being strung up like a Christmas turkey Ichigo discovers that the bastard uncle has not only ruined his _"I'm just a mascot" tee_ the perverted fucker has also cut out a hole in the back of his jeans exposing his bare ass to the air.

On the bright side at least this part of the basement is well lit and insulated and it's the middle of summer so at least Ichigo isn't going to get frostbite of the anus but still…

"You sick pervert! You won't get away with this!"

"Again with the insults, honestly Ichigo-kun I hardly think it is fair of you to call me names when I've so graciously welcomed you into my home. And for the record my name is Aizen-Sosuke but you can simply address me by Aizen-sama or Sosuke-san."

"Fat chance old man! You're no lord or master of mine."

Seriously what the fuck?

"Hmm perhaps not yet but given some time I have no doubt you'll _**warm**_ up to me."

Not only was the man-this Aizen-clearly a pervert he was also clearly de-fucking-lusional. Ichigo struggled against his binds and once more cursed his "so called" friends.

A crunching sound catches his attention and Ichigo cranes his neck to see what Aizen is planning to do next although he probably is better off not knowing.

"We are going to take this time to get to know one another better Ichigo-kun," the man all but purrs as he crushes ice and drops the cubes into a tall glass.

"I'm not just talking about basic facts like your favorite color, your favorite sports team no I'm talking about deeper more meaningful things like for example…"dramatic pause, "What is your deepest darkest secret?"

Deepest darkest secret? Was this bastard for real? Ichigo didn't have anything like that. He had secrets sure but they weren't anything to write home about. Hell even the one where he secretly harbored feelings for the hottest jock in school wasn't that big of a deal.

"What's it to an old perverted uncle like you? How interesting can a teenage guy be?"

Aizen did not answer right away as he resumed his task of crushing large blocks of ice into tiny cubes. The suspense was kind of grating on Ichigo's last nerve and so he demanded to know, "Hey what the hell are you doing over there anyway?"

He can almost hear the clear amusement in Aizen's tone as the man answers, "I am preparing for the celebration."

Celebration? What the fuck? What celebration?

It is then that Ichigo noted the expensive bottle of deep red wine or maybe it was champagne?

Whatever it looked like Aizen was preparing a drink for him self and expected the berry mascot to drink as well.

'_So that's his plan! He wants to get me drunk so he can continue his perverse little game.'_

Ichigo cursed. _Damn! How much worse can this get?_ And struggled against his binds once again determined to break free. '_They do it in the movies all the time so it can't be that difficult._

"Don't play with your binds Ichigo-kun." Aizen's smooth and evil baritone was almost sweet now as he lightly reprimanded the stubborn teen.

Ichigo snarled fiercely wishing he could rip the man to shreds. "Fuck you Aizen! I swear to God or any Deity that is listening once I get free you'll wish you had never set your eyes on me."

Dark eyes hardened and heaven help him Ichigo visibly and mentally shuddered in horror, quickly coming to realize that the man he was dealing with wasn't just a perverted "uncle" with extra time on his hands.

Aizen cleared his throat and poured the colored liquid into the tall glass and stalked towards Ichigo.

An aura of complete calm now surrounded the man and yet the berry teen still couldn't relax even the slightest bit. Rather he stiffened and snarled when Aizen pressed the rim off the glass to his lips.

Hell if he was going to swallow anything!

Sadly for the little mascot he wasn't able to fully prevent the liquid from slipping into his mouth and down his throat-Aizen had made sure of it as he pinched the teen's nose when he refused the drink.

Ichigo choked and coughed and hacked-the dark liquid burning on the way down.

Frankly he didn't understand the appeal of alcohol at all. It didn't even taste good.

"Fucking asshole!"

"Tsk, tsk honestly Ichigo-kun there isn't a need for such profanity." Aizen raised the glass to his own lips and drank.

The mascot's glare intensified and he thought maybe just maybe if he could twist his body a certain way he would be able to knock Aizen to the side.

Ichigo took a closer look at his binds and the swing device and contemplated how he would get down with out breaking a few bones. He certainly had his work cut out for him.

And again he wondered '_Why the fuck did Grimmjow have to leave? And why the hell didn't he warn me about his perverted ass family member-well assuming this guy is part of his family. Ugh whatever I really don't give a fuck at this rate I just want this nightmare to end._'

"Here I am going out of my way to make sure you are as comfortable as possible and instead of extending your gratitude you hurl insults at me."

"Drop dead Aizen! How the fuck can I relax when I'm dangling 3 feet in the air with my ass all exposed? And how the fuck is it you know my name anyway? I never told you!"

Here the man smiled, "Ah that…yes well while you were dozing off to dreamland a short while ago I took the liberty of finding out more about you." Fingers brushed against the side of his cheek and Ichigo recoiled in pure disgust.

"Stop fucking touching-get your hands off g-ahhh!"

WTF? The fucking pervert hadn't really just had the gall to smack his ass had he? _Had he?_

Yes he had. Aizen had the audacity not only to put his hands where they didn't belong but he also had the audacity to spank the berry mascot.

Ichigo couldn't decide if he was more angry or humiliated.

"I told you before Ichigo-kun such profanity is unnecessary so unless…you are asking me to literally_** fuck**_ you than I do not want to hear another foul word pass your lips."

Less than a beat later the same hand that had smacked Ichigo's bare ass was now rubbing it in slow circular motions-as if to soothe.

Ichigo felt his skin prickle and decided he might actually prefer the being spanked instead of being rubbed.

Not because he was a closet masochist but rather because he didn't want to associate words like "soft, gentle, light, caress" with a perverted uncle like Aizen.

Unfortunately for the berry mascot a certain part of his body did not seem to agree.

Fucking A!

'_Now I have a whole 'other issue to worry about'_

_()()_

_()_

_()()()_

_**Grimmjow silences Ichigo's protests with the sweetest and most gentle of kisses he's ever given anyone. And while he meets some resistance it's only for a moment because despite his protests and death threats Ichigo wants this-wants him and slowly but surely the berry mascot melts into Grimmjow's arms.**_

_**Ichigo is a little bit shy and a little bit unsure and a little clumsy when he kisses Grimmjow back but it hardly matters because the lil' mascot is making the most delightful sounds and trying to hump his leg and Grimmjow appreciates this. Let's Ichigo know just how much he appreciates his efforts, grabbing hold of the other boys' hand and placing it directly on his rod. **_

_**Blood rushes to Ichigo's face but rather than trying to pull away the berry grows bold and grabs Grimmjow firmly. And Grimmjow groans low and deep in his throat and wastes little to no time in dragging his little mascot upstairs to his bedroom.**_

_**And once they make it to his bedroom Grimmjow can't keep his hands off of Ichigo and he's above and beyond thrilled that Ichigo can't seem to keep his hands off him either.**_

_**It doesn't take long to strip the berry mascot out of his clothes (conveniently he isn't wearing much to begin with) doesn't take much coaxing before Ichigo boldly reaches for the waistband of Grimmjow's pants and pulls them down. **_

_**Grimmjow doesn't want to be a total asshole about things so he keeps his boxers on and let's his berry explore… but only for a short time.**_

_**He is a jock after all and doesn't have the world's best patience. Grimmjow has no problem with a nice and steady pace because yes he does want to make Ichigo feel as comfortable as possible but at the same time…if he drags things out too long he'd fall asleep and that's just beyond fucking lame and yeah…not gonna happen.**_

_**Drinking in each and every inch of Ichigo's delicious peach-caramel colored skin with his hungry electric blue gaze, Grimmjow pushes the other boy back on the bed and can't help but love the image of bright orange resting against royal blue. **_

_**A fine contrast. Grimmjow growls his complete and absolute approval and kisses his berry mascot's mouth a second time.**_

_**Less gentle than the first but still pleasurable. There's a fair bit of nipping involved and a healthy amount of licking but its all good. Tongues sliding together-tasting hot and spicy cool and sweet-cliché but sometimes even clichés suit their purpose. **_

_**And because the moment has finally come…knowing he has Ichigo to himself…Grimmjow takes his time playing around, tries all kinds of different things before settling on what he likes best.**_

_**He decides he especially fond of the berry's pulse point-loves brushing the pad of his finger over the throbbing muscle-their mouths continue to move together.**_

_**Ah the joy's of multi-tasking there's nothing quite like it!**_

_**()**_

"Sir, the total is 37.95."

Huh? That's not part of the-oh!

"Here."

The cashier eyes Grimmjow strangely but the blunet jock doesn't give a shit. With a nasty sneer he grabs his bag and heads for the exit door.

()

Nnoi and the boys are waiting for him in the parking lot-rolling blunts and listening to god-awful reggae music. Rather than joining them Grimmjow decides he's going to enjoy a cigarette first and let his fantasies play out a little longer…

_**()()**_

_**()**_

_**()**_

Wasn't torture so supposed to be well…torturous? Unpleasant?

The fingers moving against the swell of his exposed ass- gliding over the crack parting and tugging and teasing the skin around his forbidden hole-warm and soft rather than hard and cold and callused didn't feel much like torture at all.

All Ichigo could think was _'It's the liquor. It's gotta be I didn't swallow much but it was obviously enough to trick my body_ _like this."_

Sucking his lips between his teeth-biting the skin until it pierced and bled-doing his best not to react-not to make a sound-not to let Aizen catch on to the fact that the front part of his jeans were becoming almost unbearably tight Ichigo hissed out more insults and death threats and pulled at his binds

"You sick twisted fuck! Let me go or I swear I'll fucking find a way to get you back for this."

Goat face was a retired trained assassin and hadn't touched a gun in years but Ichigo was sure he could convince his father to kill some fucking pervert who held him hostage while at a house party.

A light chuckle, soft lips that had no damn business being so fucking soft tickled the shell of Ichigo's ear, "Hush my little mascot, you're too high strung. You need to calm down before you hurt yourself. Come let's finish our toast!"

"I don't want another damn drink! I just want to go home!" Ichigo screamed.

"No you don't, at least not yet."

WTF?

"Yes I do, enough with the perverted bullshit let me go!"

Aizen ignored Ichigo and moved back over to the small table for a moment-this time instead of pouring liquid into the glass the man simply chose to drink straight from the bottle and didn't seem to care in the least if some of it spilled on his dress shirt.

Rather with a careless shrug Aizen set the bottle down and then removed his shirt.

At the sight of the older man's body Ichigo cursed his stupid gay teenage hormones. It wasn't enough that the bastard had a handsome face and beautiful hands no the asshole had to have a sexy body too-a body most 25 year olds would probably give their left ball sac for.

Ichigo cringed and groaned and cursed again when his not so little friend bobbed its head in approval and stained the front of his jeans.

'_Fuck my life! Seriously this is not fucking fair. It's just not…'_

Ichigo closed his eyes figuring if he didn't have to look at the man he wouldn't have to admit to being turned on.

"Perverted bullshit, you say?"

Yes if only shutting his eyes solved the problem-but no listening to the man spew poison from that mouth of his in that damn bedroom voice… _'Damn it!'_

Ichigo almost felt like crying but that would be even more pathetic and really he had to keep whatever tiny shred of dignity he had left.

'_WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GRIMMJOW? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?'_

Aizen made his way back over to the teen.

His dark eyes flickered intelligently, "My dear little mascot you haven't seen _true_ perversion."

At the words Ichigo's eyes snapped back open.

Aizen smiled and twirled a glass in his hand, "Now then how about we play a little game, hmm?"

()()

()

_**Breaking apart and stopping although it kind of flat out sucks is necessary because neither Grimmjow nor Ichigo were born with gills and so they have to come up for air.**_

_**But that doesn't mean the fun has to stop all together. In fact now is the perfect opportunity for Grimmjow to retrieve a few items from his closet.**_

"_**What are you looking for?"**_

_**Of course Kurosaki being Kurosaki he wouldn't stay on the bed like a good little mascot. Oh no Ichigo has decided to drag the bed sheet with him and come to stand behind Grimmjow.**_

_**A couple of boxes fall on top of Grimmjows head. The blunet curses and snarls and throws things and right now he's sure he looks anything but like a cool cat he prides himself on being-he hears Ichigo laugh (not because the other teen finds amusement in his pain-except maybe he kind of does-but rather it is because even a smoking hot jock like Grimmjow isn't perfect. But then again Grimmjow never claimed to be perfect.**_

_**Another box falls on top of his head and Ichigo's laughter gets louder. It's cute and infectious and before Grimmjow realizes it he's laughing too. He turns to face his little berry mascot who in truth really isn't all that little at all but rather Ichigo is perfect. Fit, toned, just the right amount of muscle definition and standing at 5'9.**_

_**In Grimmjow's sole opinion 5'9 is an ideal height since he likes his lover a bit shorter than himself. But again even if Ichigo were 5'4 or 6'2 it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference because Grimmjow would still be determined to fuck his mascot into oblivion.**_

_**Grimmjow pulls Ichigo in for another kiss. He can feel the other boy smiling against his lips and it makes him smile too. But before Grimmjow can be accused of being a total love-sick idiot he rips the sheet away from the berry and pins the smaller boy down on to the plush carpeting.**_

_**In all honesty Grimmjow hates the carpeting in his bedroom because its so damn white but that hardly matters at the moment.**_

_**Never one to disappoint Ichigo flips their position and Grimmjow would complain but he sees no point to it when he has a lap full of berry grinding and bouncing on him. **_

_**Ichigo's dick is jutting upwards at a slight curve and pre-cum is dribbling from the tip and Grimmjow would love nothing more than to take off his own boxers and rub both their hard dicks together but the jock resists because…he's determined to do things right. **_

_**So ignoring his own neglected member Grimmjow wraps his hand around his berry and strokes…**_

"_**You can go a bit faster than that."**_

_**Yes because his berry mascot is such a demanding bitch in his fantasies and Grimmjow won't have it any other way.**_

_**Eyes like sheer crystalline blades, voice taking on a deeper and far more lusty sounding purr/growl type noise, "You sure?"**_

"_**Yeah I'm sure, asshole."**_

_**Of course Kurosaki wouldn't be Kurosaki if he didn't throw insults even when he's on the brink of coming undone. Again Grimmjow wouldn't have it any other way.**_

_**Rather he interprets it as a challenge-adjusts his grip on the slippery hot organ just a hair and then squeezes and pumps and pulls and twists until the berry mascot is screaming himself hoarse and shaking and coming so damn hard it's a bit of a miracle that he doesn't black out.**_

_**It's quite the sight. One Grimmjow wants to capture and keep forever but even if he grabbed his touch phone right now, Grimmjow knows it would pale in comparison to the real thing.**_

_**His boxers are soiled with his own cum. Grimmjow would probably feel embarrassed except he's still rock hard so that's something to celebrate and Ichigo is becoming all super affectionate so that's something to celebrate too. **_

"_**I want more."**_

_**Music to Grimmjow's ears and of course since this is his fantasy after all he's gonna deliver.**_

_**()()**_

A loud obnoxious blaring horn sounds and ruins both Grimmjow's fantasy session and his cigarette. The blaring horn sounds again and Grimmjow inwardly vows to kill each and everyone one of his teammates.

"Yo! Jeager! What's the hold up? Let's go!"

Stubbing out his cigarette with his shoe Grimmjow fishes for the keys in his pocket.

'_On second thought maybe I'll just light another cigarette and set the truck on fire.'_

Grimmjow would admittedly feel a little bit bad about killing off his friends but at the same time-

'_I could escape across the boarder with Ichigo and we'll become fugitives in love.'_

()()

()

()

"I am going to ask you a series of different questions and I expect an honest answer each time. If I feel that you are lying to me or if you intentionally try to avoid the question then I will push one of these specially designed cubes inside that lovely little posterior of yours."

Cinnamon-coffee colored eyes widened in a new horror and Ichigo felt his flaming face burn hotter.

Determined now more than ever before to end this hellish night, the berry mascot uses every muscle in his body he can think of in order to break free of the restraints.

Hell would freeze over before he let Aizen shove an ice cube up his ass!

"If you struggle you'll only get yourself more tangled."

It was a trick. Yes it had to be a trick. Aizen could probably sense his plan and was trying to make Ichigo second doubt himself. Yeah that had to be it.

"Ready."

"…!"

"First question, what was your main reason for coming here tonight. As far as I know there are no official or practice football games until next month so there must be another reason."

Ichigo firmly kept his mouth shut and only glared daggers at the evil man who was trying to corrupt him.

"I should inform you now Ichigo-kun that if you fail to cooperate and play the game I will insert something much _**larger**_ into that pretty puckered hole of yours."

Ichigo doubted it was an empty threat. He glared darkly at Aizen and spat out his answer. "I came because I was invited."

"You came because you were invited?" Aizen repeated and then reached a hand inside the glass and fingered one of the cubes,

"Surely you didn't come all this way due to a _simple_ invitation? You had to have had another reason, yes?"

"What are you talking about? That is my reason."

"Hmm very well I'll accept your answer…for now."

"_Bastard!"_

The man continued fingering the cube and smirked at the teen. Ichigo twitched and fidgeted and shuddered and cursed.

"Why did you become a mascot for the Seireitei Death Guardians?"

"Why do you care? What does it matter to you?"

Aizen plucked the cube out of the glass and moved towards Ichigo, his tone teasing and light, "Come now Ichigo-kun all I am asking for is your honesty."

()

As the ice came in contact with his skin Ichigo flinched and hissed.

Naturally Aizen was amused and continued on as though he hadn't paused at all, "You strike me as the type of boy who has a difficult time lying, your very morals won't allow it-baring the occasional little white lie-but everyone does that."

At the moment Aizen was keeping true to his word-although Ichigo could feel the man moving the ice cube in teasing circular motions against his ass it hadn't officially breached his puckered hole-he could thank the heavens for small favors.

Under the man's heated demanding gaze Ichigo felt like a tiny insignificant little sparrow trapped in a hawks nest.

"Alright fine if you really wanna know I became a mascot to honor my mother's memory. She was a cheerleading champion in her day but I didn't want to join an actual cheerleading squad so I figured my next best bet was being a mascot."

"Hmm, so parading around in skin tight tees and short-shorts is to honor your mother's memory," Aizen chuckled and moved the ice cube closer to the forbidden zone. "You really are something different aren't you, _boy?"_

Orange brows narrowed into a harsh line. "What the _**hell **_is that supposed to mean?"

Another chuckle. "Never mind that, come you must be thirsty." At these words Aizen moved the ice cube away from Ichigo's ass and pressed it to the berry mascot's lips. "Drink."

Ichigo scrunched his nose up in disgust. It was true he was a little thirsty but he didn't want to voluntarily accept anything Aizen offered him.

The man frowned just the slightest bit. "You don't want it?"

Ichigo shot Aizen a glare that could quite easily be translated into '_What do you think? Hell no asshole!'_

"Very well if you are not thirsty I'm sure we can find a different part of your body that will appreciate a bit of a cool down."

Moving over to a small table Aizen plucked another cube out of the glass and advanced towards Ichigo again. He focused on the teen's front this time, making a slow trail that started at the berry mascot's jaw line, descended down to his neck, danced along his collarbone before dropping lower.

"Gahh! Stop! Ahh ahh too c-cold!"

Bastard what the fuck did he think he was doing pressing the damn ice cube right against one of his nipples like that? It was a thin tee shirt to begin with and-

"Nghh."

It had nothing to do with finding the act pleasurable. It was a normal human reaction. Ichigo couldn't very well help that his nipples were ultra sensitive anymore than he could help being gay.

"Seriously _STOP!"_

Stop means go apparently or Aizen was just an evil bastard who decidedly tuned Ichigo out. Most likely the later and so the assault continued.

For the first time that night Ichigo is grateful that Grimmjow and the guys had apparently run off to a nightclub or whatever because the berry mascot would have absolutely loathed being found in such a degrading position.

Aizen's smooth baritone cut through the little mascot's thoughts. "Do forgive me Ichigo-kun I seem to have gotten ahead of myself." The man retracted his hand and stepped back.

"On to the next question, have you always shown interest in members of the same sex or is my block-headed nephew the first?"

Ichigo had two options. Play clueless or turn Aizen's question into a question of his own. Considering he knew next to nothing about the man he figured option 2 was his best choice.

"Before I answer another one of your ridiculous questions why don't you tell me who your nephew is."

Dark eyes flashed in warning. "Please do not pretend to be ignorant Ichigo-kun. I have no patience for it."

Ichigo snorted not really giving a shit.

Aizen had already assaulted his lips and his nipples-smacked his ass and asked him inappropriate personal questions what else could the man do outside of-?

Well actually there was still a lot Aizen could do to him but Ichigo was stubborn-had always been stubborn and although he might be overwhelmed, overpowered and outsmarted at the moment he was still his mother's son and he would never surrender with out a fight.

"You know very well who my nephew is just as I know very well who you are. I still recall that day as though it only happened yesterday. About a year or so ago in mid-April during a half time game when you weren't jumping up and down and parading around like an idiot you were watching my block-headed nephew with hungry eyes."

Ichigo cringed and blushed fiercely "Shut up! That's not true!"

But it was and the fact that this man knew made it even worse.

Aizen continued on as though the berry mascot hadn't objected, "You kept a souvenir that day-his blood stained jersey," a light chuckle, "Yes I remember the hissing fit Grimmjow threw when he searched all over and couldn't find it anywhere…little did he know a certain strawberry mascot had taken it home with him."

Ichigo wanted to curl up into a tiny little space and just die. It was true. All of it.

_He had picked up Grimmjow's blood stained jersey and shoved it in his gym bag and brought it home. _

_Then when he was upstairs in the privacy of his own bedroom he buried his nose in the jersey, inhaled the scent of sweat, blood and all things Grimmjow and then when that wasn't enough not nearly enough he put it on his naked body and rolled around in his bed until the stains bled into his covers. _

_The next morning he threw both the jersey and the bedding into the laundry hamper, washed and ironed it carefully and hung it in the back of his closet fully intending to return it…one day. _

"Alright fine I admit it I like him okay, satisfied?"

"Well I would be but isn't there something else you wish to add?"

Ichigo shot Aizen a filthy glare. "I was planning to tell him how I felt tonight but I just wasn't sure how and then one of the guys on the team suggested getting drunk and I thought it would-

"Give you liquid courage?"

"Well…yeah but I never would have expected this night to turn out like this. I mean Grimmjow didn't say anything about well…you being here. I figured…I guess we all figured that any one else he lived with was out of town but clearly that isn't the case seeing as you're here harassing me and all."

"Restraining you and teasing you a bit is hardly considered harassment, Ichigo-kun. I wish you'd stop making such unfair and incorrect accusations."

"Yeah well I wish you'd just quit the bullshit and let me go already but we can't always get what we want in life can we?"

Pure sarcasm. Probably not wise but Ichigo just didn't have the energy to really care at this point. Dealing with Aizen was exhausting.

"Seriously what do you get out of this anyway?!"

Rather than answering the berry mascot's question the man decided to remove the restraints (except for the ones binding Ichigo's hands together) and pulled him down from the swing at last. "You've done quite well all things considered…but I think a change of scenery is in order."

Change of scenery?

WTF?

()()

His body had been weakened. It was because of this reason and this reason only that Ichigo wasn't able to protest much as Aizen hauled him off into another part of the basement.

()

"Great fucking fantastic you drag me from one torture contraption to another."

A "massage table" could hardly be considered a torture contraption. Even if it did have a few belts that held the person on the table in place…

The boy was just too damn adorable for his own good. Making such a fuss over a few restraints.

Aizen honestly thought his lil' mascot would appreciate lying down considering he'd been in an upright position for several hours…but Ichigo-kun insisted on being stubborn-insisted on pretending to act as though he were truly offended and frightened when in actuality he was enjoying every single moment.

The teen's eyes and his entire body language spoke volumes.

"Get serious Ichigo-kun," Aizen tapped the berry's nose "This is what adults call foreplay. Torture is a whole other ball game but I don't think we should attempt any S+M play until you're a bit older. Dark eyes roamed the teen's lithe body, "I do appreciate your willingness to explore though."

"Explore? What the fuck are you talking about? Damn it get me off this thing."

"Let's continue our game."

The youth shuddered and Aizen couldn't stop himself from teasingly gliding his hand along the peach-ripened globes of flesh once more. How he would love to glide his tongue along the boys' flushed skin-pull the tight skin apart with his teeth-suckle his lil' mascot's sweet-bitter essence right out of him until there was nothing left…

"How often do you play with yourself?"

"How the hell should I know? I don't keep count! Could be anywhere from every twelve minutes, every half hour on the hour-most likely the later since spend a lot of my time around my friends and I'm not the exhibitionist type so…

It was pure honesty…the way the youth's blush spread from the tips of his lightly freckled ears and down to the rest of his body. He turned his head away no doubt embarrassed and turned on even more.

"Hmm and when you play with yourself do you pay an equal amount of attention to your whole body or do you just stroke your cock and squeeze your balls?"

()

What the hell? Did this man not have a mouth filter at all? Who the hell asked such questions anyway?

What next was Aizen going to ask how many times he took a piss?

And if Ichigo answered was the man going to force him to piss on command or some other sick shit?

The berry mascot really REALLY did not want it to come to that.

"YOU! Seriously what the fuck do you-?"

Lips hovered near his ear doing funny things to his head-doing funny things to his lower region. Ichigo sucked in a harsh breath and hissed out slowly through his teeth.

"I've already explained this to you several times tonight, _sadly_ it appears most of what I have said hasn't sunk into that teenage mind of yours."

"Exactly I'm a T_EEN_ager! And you're what almost 40? You surely can't be seriously thinking about carrying this out further? Deep down you must know that what you are doing-what you've done is WRONG!"

"Wrong? IS it really so wrong of me to properly discipline a naughty little mascot such as yourself?" rich laughter echoed in the large basement, "I think not."

"Bastard."

"You are quite fond of that word, aren't you?"

"Pleeeease just let me go!"

He hated begging. He swore to himself that he would not reduce himself to begging but he just didn't have much energy left.

"No tears," a gentle finger swiped away a single tear, "It is time to celebrate with another drink."

Another drink?

What did Aizen have wine bottles stashed in every corner of the basement?

"And since you avoided the question it is also time to receive your penalty." Hands found there way on to his ass once again and Ichigo squirmed and flinched and did his best to avoid the touch-

"NO! STOP! Nnnn NO _DON'T!"_

"It's too late Ichigo-kun now be a good little mascot and spread yourself nice and pretty for me."

Ichigo was going to do no such thing.

The berry teen clenched his exposed butt cheeks together more tightly and tried to wiggle his way out of his binds-they weren't nearly as tight as the first binds had been so his chance of getting free was definitely higher.

"Are you really going to fight me on this?"

Ichigo said nothing.

"Very well you give me no other choice."

Ichigo heard something that sounded a lot like plastic or elastic being snapped and craned his neck to see what the devil-uncle was planning next.

Orange brows furrowed for a few minutes. '_Gloves? What the hell is he planning to do with-?'_

Nothing like being manhandled-nothing like being forcefully moved and positioned like a damned doll-nothing like being-

"_**Gah! Noooo! Hell no! Stop! What are you-You asshole! I told you to STOOOOP!"**_

A hand came down and swatted his ass sharply. "Stop making such a fuss I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yeah you are. The very thought of it probably gets you _hard _because you're a sick pervert who obviously gets his rocks off at another person's pain."

"Don't insult me, I am _far_ more interested in your pleasure."

Ichigo shuddered and hated how his body kept betraying him. He didn't understand how Aizen could make him lose control of his true self-some how some way this man was getting to him and it was becoming more and more difficult to resist-to deny-to honestly think of the man as an evil villain.

Again if only to hold on to a little bit of his sanity Ichigo was going to blame it on the wine. Not that he had consumed very much but…well there was nothing left to do now but grin and bare it.

"Nice, very nice."

A compliment obviously but Ichigo was not flattered.

"Don't talk about my ass hole like it's a piece of scenery, pervert!"

"Hmm it would be positively down right cruel of me to stick a dry finger in you so-"

Just for the berry mascot's cheek or perhaps because Aizen simply couldn't resist (probably the later) gloved fingers pinched the tight skin just above his hole and Ichigo let out a squawk.

And after a moment Aizen retracted his hands and Ichigo couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Craning his neck once more (ignoring his protesting muscles) Ichigo watched and waited to see what the man had planned for him next.

"Champagne is best served chilled," at these words Aizen pulled out yet another bottle and popped the cork. Rather than red or brown the liquid was a light pink color. "This particular brand," the man continued, "has hints of rose petal, strawberry and orange." Perverted smirk pulling at his lips as he pinned Ichigo with a heated stare, "Perfect for consummating our union, wouldn't you agree my little mascot?"

The FUCK?!

What union? Aizen wasn't really going to…he couldn't…there was no way he would actually-

"So on top of all this bullshit now you're planning to force yourself on me?!" Hard on and fuzzy mind be damned Ichigo couldn't find anything good or comforting or promising or pleasing about being forced against his will-tied down like an animal was not his idea of romance.

A dark shadow fell over the man's beautiful aristocratic features, and his deep brown orbs flashed angrily.

"How many times must I repeat myself? Why must you continue to try my patience? You think I'm evil, a soulless pervert with no conscience? My foolish little mascot if I were to truly unleash my inner sadist you'd not only just ask me to stop you'd get down on your hands and knees and beg for death."

It was a scary sight. No scratch that! Scary wasn't nearly a strong enough word to describe it.

Ichigo felt more than just his blood run cold.

()

With out much warning Aizen demonstrated his speed and strength once more, quickly closed his hand around Ichigo's windpipe and squeezed-the man did not seem to care if the berry mascot was in pain, did not seem to give a damn if the boy was tearing at the corner of his eyes, turning colors and quickly losing consciousness.

The teen clawed at the hands trying to get free trying to breathe in precious glorious wonderful air but his efforts simply weren't enough.

()

()

()

()

Ichigo had no doubt in his mind that he would have/could have died if Aizen truly wished for it but it seemed the bastard uncle had other plans.

"I do apologize for my behavior a few minutes ago Ichigo but you really shouldn't toy with an adult."

Ichigo had no energy to glare or he would have and for good measure he might have attempted to elbow or kick Aizen just then but the berry teen was more concerned with regaining proper control over his breathing.

And when the man pressed a glass full of ice water to his lips this time he took it with out protest.

Aizen patted his hair and cooed softly as though they were lovers on a honey moon or something equally fluffy, "Yes, that's it drink up _my_ little mascot."

"_FUHKYOU!"_

Even muffled through the water anyone could translate the insult. It was obvious enough.

"Hmm what's that Ichigo-kun?"

'_Asshole. He knows damn well what I said.'_

"Don't think that our little game is over just yet…on to the final round, yes?"

As if Ichigo really had a fucking choice one way or another.

()()

"Tell me about your childhood, what did you like to do for fun? (A hand came down to swipe a peach ripened ass) And don't close your legs until I give you permission to do so."

Ichigo resigned himself to just comply-he ignored how his face burned and did his best to meet Aizen's twisted and perverse demands. _'Perhaps if I just think about something nice I can get through this night from hell with out being traumatized for the rest of my life.'_

Easier said than done especially when he felt a cold piece of something (_must be the ice!')_ circle and then press against his opening.

"Don't tense up, relax!"

'_How the fuck does he expect me to relax?'_

Ichigo sucked in a sharp breath through gritted teeth doing his best to relax. He shuddered and winced when the gumdrop shaped ice cube squeezed past the tight ring and slipped inside.

Then kind of felt like a bit of an idiot as it started to melt.

'_Well duh dumb ass the human body runs at 98.6 of course it would melt.'_

With out much pause Aizen slipped a second and then a third cube inside and perhaps it was Ichigo's imagination but these cubes felt slightly larger…still they melted just as the first had.

'_Well I can be thankful for that much I guess.'_

"I do believe I asked you a question…"

Question yeah what was it again…what he did during his childhood or something?

"The same thing every kid does, run around, get into trouble, go to the park."

"Hmm it's a bit of a pity that I don't have any actual strawberries on hand."

What was Aizen mumbling about? Ichigo didn't have time to ponder on it much as the next round of cubes slipped into his body. If the man kept it up he might end up pissing himself. And that would just be the icing on the fucked up cake wouldn't it?

"You really should see yourself right now Ichigo-kun. You tried to resist at first-it's a subconscious human reaction after all to clench and clamp up but after a moment you adjust and manage to calm the body…_ahhh_ feels good doesn't it?"

The berry teen didn't answer. What was the point?

()()

()()

The drive back feels longer than ever.

Grimmjow has tried but he just can't shake the feeling that something very wrong is happening…before he tried to play it off as nothing but after receiving several urgent text messages from Kurosaki's concerned and overly dramatic group of friends…the blunet is beginning to think the worst.

Nnoitra is screeching in his ear (as per the taller boys' usual habit) but Grimmjow just doesn't give a damn.

Deciding to tune his friend out with the radio…the sound of Masakazu's raspy tenor is soothing and helps calm his nerves. (3)

_**When the sun is climbing over everything, I will start walking again.**_

_**My everyday is piling up, becoming memories**_

_**Piling up in my heart**_

_**Every time morning comes, I look at what's right in front of me**_

_**The coloring begins**_

_**It's fading, slightly I sense something**_

_**I look over my shoulder**_

_**Every time things that you couldn't remember increase, even if you've stopped and even if you're standing there**_

_**That "name" behind the tears, if I could remember it then nothing else would matter**_

_**It's the unchangeable "world" since the beginning**_

_**More than ever I feel like I could even hear my heart's voice**_

_**I keep on hiding and hiding it but then it makes me unnatural to pretend to be tough**_

_**I couldn't say things well, I couldn't nod in approval properly, if this continues,the moment I gaze at your eyes it echoes somewhere inside my heart**_

_**That unchangeable "world" since the beginning**_

_**If there is space between our hearts**_

_**must be the fault of this over conscious feeling**_

_**If we're back to "our usual selves"**_

_**again we'll become one**_

_()()_

A fizzing sound reaches Ichigo's ears. Something cold and hard presses into his hole-wetness and a slight burning sensation is quick to follow …it as it this very moment that the berry mascot realizes exactly what Aizen has pushed into his ass and he is horrified-no horrified really doesn't cover it

But again this hardly matters.

Aizen is amused (_when is there a time when the man isn't amused I mean really?) _

"_So greedy_…just look at that its already swallowed half of the contents in the bottle."

Ichigo flushes brighter than the sun. The fuck? '_This bastard did not just refer to my ass as having a mind or mouth of its own.'_

Finding the strength that he had sorely been lacking all night Ichigo broke free from restraints, pushed the offensive champagne bottle out of his ass and knocked Aizen out cold.

()()

()()

Ichigo knew he had to act fast. He had to flee from the basement before Aizen regained consciousness.

()

Finding his way out was no easy task especially since every damn room looked the same.

Ichigo ignored how his body protested and continued navigating his way out of basement.

()

When at last he saw the familiar staircase…the berry mascot ran towards it.

Climbing two steps at a time Ichigo was ready to let out a great sigh of relief, thinking '_Finally its gonna end. Finally I can leave and I'll never have to-_

"Mmmph!"

A hand closed in around his mouth and a voice that Ichigo was quite sure would haunt him for the rest of his youth followed…

"_Ichigo-kun I can admire the strength of the human body as much as the next person but it really is bad manners to get up and leave with out saying goodbye."_

'_How the hell?!'_

_**Yes how the hell indeed?**_

"Shall we head on upstairs now?"

()()

()

()

When Aizen sets Ichigo lightly down on the couch the berry teen can hardly believe it but he's not about to complain.

The man tucked his hand beneath his chin and studied the oranget for a few minutes.

"My block headed nephew would never forgive me if I actually went ahead and ravished you beyond repair so instead I've decided that you are going to finger-fuck yourself to completion while I watch."

WTF? What the freaking fuck!

"You're out of your damn mind!"

The man smirked down at him. "I can assure you my lil' mascot that I am every bit as sane as you are. Now no more pouting I've saved you a strip session by cutting a hole in the back of your jeans so all you need to do is-

"FUCK NO! No fucking way you hear me no means no!"

Aizen chuckled, "My dear boy I really do believe you doth protest too much."

Ichigo couldn't take it any more and so he released a shout "Arghhhhh enough of this bullshit! I've more than made up for stealing you stupid wine bottle and-

Lightning quick Aizen was upon the berry mascot, only a hairs breath away from Ichigo's face, his voice brooked no room for argument, "This isn't a negotiation Ichigo-kun," and just as the man had done earlier in the evening, he titled the teens' chin upward while his other hand found its way to the front the boys' jeans.

"Oh my little mascot constantly playing hard to get when in fact you're just _HARD_," another chuckle, "Stop lying to yourself and just let go."

It was down right mortifying to cum on command.

Aizen licked cum off his palm and offered Ichigo a taste.

Ichigo turned his head away feeling ashamed and disgusted not only with Aizen but at himself as well.

'_How can I be so weak? Why the hell am I letting him do this shit to me? Why aren't I putting up more of a fight? And why the fuck am I still rock hard?'_

"Just look at the mess you've made," Aizen chided lightly in a playful sort of tone, "So thoroughly deprived aren't you my little mascot?" he caressed the teens' cheek and cooed, "No wonder you constantly wear a scowl on this beautiful face."

Ichigo groaned and tried to bury his face in the cushion but that was rather impossible since Aizen still had a hold on him.

"Please just stop!"

He felt fingers in his hair, gently combing through his messy orange spikes.

"The nightmare will only end when you stop torturing yourself, Ichigo-kun."

'_I'm not torturing myself!' the teen wanted to scream aloud but didn't 'You're torturing me with that damn voice and your soft hands and that laugh and damn you Aizen!'_

What the hell had come over him? Why the hell was he behaving so pathetically? Why was he allowing Aizen to pet him? Comfort him?

Ichigo didn't understand much of anything at the moment.

"What the hell did you do to me?"

"I've done nothing to you."

"Bullshit! And would you stop touching me!"

Just like that the petting stopped.

"Very well. How about some tea?"

Tea? Tea?!

Ichigo looked at Aizen strangely "Do you-do you have like split personalities or something?"

Aizen looked thoroughly amused as he answered, "Could be then again Gemini stands for two so if that is the case, then you could say I have multiple personalities."

()()

()

Grimmjow can't even take the time to appreciate the cute sight of Ichigo sleeping soundly because the berry teen is not alone.

He is not going to jump to conclusions for a second time in one night.

Surely, he thinks, there is a reasonable explanation that Kurosaki, his berry mascot, his ICHIGO, has fallen asleep in Aizen's lap on the couch.

Yes Aizen, the man might technically be his uncle, his guardian but Grimmjow has never considered the bastard such.

Hell he barely tolerates the man. The less Grimmjow sees of Aizen the better. Which brings to question, what the hell is the man doing home in the first place? Wasn't his trip supposed to last for another 2 weeks?

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

Unfortunately sometimes (despite knowing better, knowing how much it displeases Aizen) Grimmjow's mouth runs on autopilot.

Aizen being the bastard he is infuriatingly calm, casual and completely unaffected as carefully lifts the berry mascots' head off of his lap and he rises from the couch in a dignified manner. He takes one look at the blue-haired youth and drawls, "Grimmjow you left the lights on again even though you know how much it displeases me."

Yeah just as Grimmjow expected. No welcome home. No warm smile. Just Aizen being Aizen. Lectures before love. Always. Not that the bastard knew how to love.

"Fuck the lights!" the blunet snarls angrily and feels the urge to hit the man rise up in him (much like always) "What the hell do you think you're doing? Why is HE half naked and curled up on your lap?"

Not that it isn't a lovely sight-a half naked Ichigo is always a lovely sight but not like this!

'_Only I should be able to see Kurosaki like this. That sinful little body is for __my __eyes only!'_

Aizen raises a delicate brow and sweeps long manicured fingers through his wavy locks of hair, "I do not have the energy to deal with your tantrums tonight, Grimmjow. So instead of shouting obscenities at me why don't you see to it that Ichigo-kun gets home safely, hmm?"

Because Aizen is who he is it is more of a command rather than an actual request.

Grimmjow doesn't give a flying fuck though! Crossing the room in a few quick strides he moves to strike the older man but is quickly blocked and rendered immobile.

Then to add insult to injury because a twisted bastard like his uncle never misses an opportunity to make him feel pathetically weak, Aizen twists Grimmjow's arm back at sharp angle and the blunet can tell by the cold look in deep brown eyes that it is not a bluff-the message rings loud and clear.

'_Do not test me, __boy__.'_

_Translation: I'll break your arm with out even so much as blinking._

It's happened before. An unpleasant experience. One Grimmjow does not wish to re-live.

Hating that a haughty bastard with perfectly coiffed hair can possess such strength but realizing it is pointless to try and challenge the man, Grimmjow has no other option but to retract his fangs and lower his head,

"_Sorry I left the lights on."_

Aizen releases his hold and Grimmjow rubs his shoulder and ignores the smug look on the man's face.

The fine hairs on the back of his neck prickle and Grimmjow feels as though he is being watched. He is…he discovers a moment later as Kurosaki wakes up and asks,

"What's going on?"

Aizen is wearing a smirk (partially meant to mock) and as a result only incensing the blunet that much more.

"Ah my little mascot so you've awakened once more. Do promise you will come visit again soon."

Ichigo looks perplexed while Grimmjow is just plain pissed the fuck off. He does not like one bit that Aizen is referring to the strawberry as his "_lil' mascot"-_nor does he care for the subtle blush creeping up on Ichigo's sun-kissed cheeks.

It must be said once more that Grimmjow does not want to jump to the wrong conclusion but Kurosaki's state of being half undressed does raise a brow. And well referring to the other teen as being half undressed doesn't even quite cover it seeing as he has several tears in his thin-skin tight tee, a giant hole in the back of his jeans and seems to be missing his socks.

Electric blue eyes harden _'What the hell were you up to while I was out?'_

The berry teen does not offer a response and Grimmjow isn't all that surprised since after all he and Kurosaki haven't reached the 'silent message' stage in their relationship yet-okay technically they aren't even in a relationship yet but-oh whatever!

Kurosaki could at least act like he's a bit remorseful or something couldn't he? Couldn't HE?

A certain tension is in the air. It's tight. It's uncomfortable.

"I am retiring for the night. I trust the two of you can keep the volume down to a bare minimum."

To all but his bastard of an uncle apparently.

Grimmjow's upper lip curls and he watches and waits for Aizen to disappear upstairs before making his way over to Ichigo.

He'd love to scream in the smaller teens face but logic tells him it wouldn't accomplish much and so Grimmjow manages to keep his temper in check and politely demands Kurosaki to tell him what the hell is going on?

"So Kurosaki what was all that about? And what is with you falling asleep on strangers laps?"

()

At first Ichigo thinks he must surely be dreaming-his crush can't possibly be standing less than a foot away from him and so he pinches himself.

Once he concludes that Grimmjow is not an illusion heat rises to his face and he rubs the back of his neck subconsciously, not quite sure how to begin.

But it's best to start somewhere.

"It's not like that!"

There is a dubious look on Grimmjow's face. "Oh really then tell me what is it like, Kurosaki?"

Irritation creeps in and Ichigo snaps out, "Nothing! You've got it all wrong! And anyway forget about me, what about you? What the hell took you so damn long? Do you have any idea what that uncle of yours tried to do to me?"

Electric blues flash dangerously and narrow to needle point slits. "What did that fucker do to you, Ichigo?"

If it were any other place at any other time and Ichigo hadn't gone through total harassment/humiliation for the past 3 hours or whatever he probably would have flushed and then fallen over in dreamy sort of daze at hearing his first name pass Grimmjow's coffee stained lips.

But alas Ichigo could not bring himself to that happy fluffy place at the moment when a large part of him just wanted to sock his blunet-haired crush in his perfectly chiseled face.

Crossing his arms over his chest Ichigo stubbornly replied. "I'm not gonna discuss it."

Grimmjow snorted, "Well that's just too damn bad ain't cuz' I'm not letting you out of this house until I get some straight answers."

Ichigo frowned. Was his crush threatening him? That wasn't very romantic-hell it wasn't even fair. What right did he have to-?

'_I guess he really is related to that pervert whose been fucking with my head all night.'_

Cinnamon-coffee browns hardened, "I'm sure you can reach an accurate conclusion just by taking one look at me."

'_Seriously dumb ass it's not exactly rocket science.'_

"So that's it then?" Grimmjow grinned but it wasn't his Cheshire-cat grin-it didn't reach his eyes. "You pretend to act all clueless and wounded when in actuality you're just a shameless slut who likes to-

NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!

Ichigo shut his eyes. Wished he could shut his ears as well.

He felt his blood boil, felt his gut twist and churn and felt his heart rip at Grimmjow's cruel and unfair and completely inaccurate accusations.

How could his crush even dare to think that he was _that _type?

"HELL NO! Why the fuck would you even suggest-? How can you think for one second that I-You know what? Fuck you! You invite me to your house only to ignore me the entire time and then you and your dick friends trick me into going down to the wine cellar while you go run last minute errands or some such shit and then your twisted uncle comes home and molests me and you have the fucking gall to accuse me of liking it-and no not just liking it you accuse me of orchestrating the whole damn thing?!

What the fuck is the matter with you? I can't believe I thought you were a good guy overall now I see it was just my lust clouding my judgment because you're nothing but **GRADE A DOU-HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I HAVEN'T FINISHED? IT'S RUDE TO WALK AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT YOU KNOW? HEY! HEEEEEY!"**

**()**

The night was so fucked up. Grimmjow was determined to put an end to it before things got even worse.

He knew it wasn't exactly smart to walk/run away while his berry was talking/shouting at him but he just couldn't stand around for another minute without doing a damn thing!

()

Grimmjow raced up the stairs and stormed down the hallway not stopping until he reached the last door. And then he pounded his fist against it and shouted. "YOU OLD FUCKER! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH WHAT' S MINE! HOW DARE YOU SAMPLE WHAT I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!"

Aizen didn't open the door but his smooth mocking drawl came through loud and clear. "Finished already? How disappointing."

Grimmjow snarled and hissed and pounded on the door again, not giving a damn if the fancy portraits on the wall shook from the force. "You had NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO THAT!"

"Well perhaps you will think before leaving your toys behind next time, Grimmjow."

Toy? Kurosaki wasn't a mother fucking toy!

Deciding pounding on the door wasn't enough Grimmjow raised his foot and kicked it hard enough to leave a dent.

"I always knew you were a TWISTED FUCK but putting your hands on a minor I could see to it that they put your ass behind bars and never let you out again."

"Do not threaten me Grimmjow because like it or not you are still under my care until you reach your 19th year and everything you own is mine. From your plasma tv to that beloved truck you love so much. And let me assure you Ichigo-kun is far from being a child."

Technically yes this was true…technically Ichigo was legal and could make his own decisions but…

"Don't call him that!"

"Stop hissing at me through the door like a pissed off alley cat and come inside so we can finish this conversation like men."

Grimmjow sneered and nearly ripped the knob on the door off when he went to open it.

()

Aizen was sitting up in his bed, red plush robe tied around his waist, glass of wine in hand. "Make it brief Grimmjow, the only thing I wish to do now is rest."

Rest? Rest! Electric blues flashed wildly and Grimmjow punched the wall above Aizen's head and growled out a low and threatening,

"_Never again_! I don't give a fuck who you are or what threats you try to throw at me _**NEVER AGAIN**_will you touch a single hair on his fiery head, are we clear?"

"Crystal clear but time is a fickle sort of thing and so perhaps there will come a day when the little mascot grows bored of you and decides to come to me of his own free will."

'_**OVER MY DEAD BODY!'**_

Grimmjow clenched and unclenched his jaw and punched the wall again. " _**THE HELL HE WILL! THE HELL YOU WILL! TCH LIKE I'D GIVE YOU THAT CHANCE. HE'S **__**MINE!"**_

Aizen took a sip from his wine glass. "Very well Grimmjow, you have made your point. You may go."

With a hideous snarl Grimmjow grabbed the nearest thing-a lamp and smashed it against the wall.

Aizen's tone was almost completely devoid of emotion as he said, "You will be paying for that and all other damages on the house."

Asshole! Fucking asshole! Grimmjow had never hated a single soul do damn much in his life. He could easily snap and try to kill his uncle but he much rather use his energy to calm and then properly seduce his berry mascot who was still waiting downstairs.

"Whatever. I'm going now. Don't bother looking for me in the morning 'cuz I won't be here."

"Hmm. Do try to remember to put Ichigo-kun's needs before your own. And don't take forever to make up your mind either, that boy has waited long enough as it is."

Relationship advice? What the fuck for?

"I know how to handle him so just drop it."

"Hmm yes well you best get to it then."

()()

Ichigo is not quite sure what to think or feel at the moment. So much had happened. On the up side Grimmjow apparently liked him back (he was anxious to see what the remainder of the night might hold) but on the down side he was tiered and achy and '_I really need a shower.'_

A shower to get rid of the alcohol and some other things The berry mascot shuddered and decided to end his thoughts right there. Last thing he needed was to replay the events of the night in his head.

Footsteps sounded. Ichigo jumped and whirled around.

Grimmjow appeared.

"Sorry about just running off like that Kurosaki but I had to let that bastard know that he couldn't just do something like that without dealing with the consequences."

Dealing with the consequences. Well there had been a fair bit of shouting just a few minutes ago and banging noises…did Grimmjow get into a physical fight with Aizen? If so then Ichigo couldn't help but feel a bit …more like a lot flattered.

And he was quite sure he was grinning like an idiot now, previous anger at the other teen nothing but a distant memory.

"It's fine…uh I mean its no big deal or anything." Ichigo shuffled from one foot to another not sure how to proceed. "Uh so about what I said earlier-

"The part about you lusting over my hot body."

"Wha?" Ichigo flushed brightly and then glared when Grimmjow laughed at him, "I never said it like-

"But you do don't you? Feel lust for me?"

Well yes Ichigo did lust over the jock. But it was more than just lust…there was something else…something deeper…he wasn't quite ready to put a label on it yet but-

"I like you."

Grimmjow grinned and took a few steps towards the berry mascot, "I already know that in fact I've known for awhile."

"What?" Ichigo blinked and flushed even more "You have?"

What the hell? If it was true why hadn't the blunet done or said anything?

Grimmjow rolled his blue eyes and snorted, "Duh! Why else would I have invited you to hang out with me and the boys?"

It was too good to be true. Surely the other teen must be fucking with him-surely Grimmjow must be-?

"Don't look so surprised Kurosaki I've only been undressing you with my eyes every chance I get and the rest of the time I've been planning out the perfect night-_OUR_ perfect night."

What? Come again? Ichigo wasn't sure what to think-what to feel-what to say. Sure he was happy-thrilled really but it just didn't make a whole lot of sense. If Grimmjow liked him-was equally attracted to him-had been planning to seduce him then how come he'd been ignoring him the entire night? How come-?

"Why the hell didn't you warn me that your uncle would be coming home?"

Grimmjow looked visibly pained by the question and took another step towards Ichigo.

Blue eyes met brown and after a moments pause Grimmjow raised his hands and cupped Ichigo's face, his tone gentle and almost pleading "Look Kuro-Ichigo let's not talk about my uncle anymore-at least not tonight."

Ichigo could have slapped the hands that were touch his face away but to do so would only bring about more problems-plus he liked having Grimmjow touch his face. A lot.

"Fine but if he ever tries something like that again or if you ever leave me around him again I will press charges."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to let that happen."

()()

Grimmjow grinned and slid his fingers through the holes in Ichigo's ruined tee and the berry mascot could have protested/probably should have protested but did not because he was too damn excited-loved that the blunet was touching his warm flushed skin.

To deny would only send mix signals and enough time had been wasted already good things were finally happening so why not just enjoy?

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's been a long time coming and its what we both want."

"_What we both want."_ Ichigo repeated slowly. He hated how simply being touched by Grimmjow was quickly turning his brain to pure mush.

"Mm hmm and before we go any further I wanna say I'm sorry."

Further? Go further? How much further? Ichigo wasn't sure how he felt about being seduced. It didn't seem right. He still had the stench of dried cum, alcohol and Aizen lingering on his skin.

"Uh can I take a rein check it's been a long night and I need a shower?"

Grimmjow looked at the berry mascot as though he were an idiot, "Haaaah? What do you mean can we pick this up some other time? Listen Kurosaki if it's a shower you want let's just take one together." Blue eyes sparkled, "I promise to keep my hands to myself."

'_But I don't want you to keep your hands to yourself.'_ Ichigo wanted to say but didn't especially since the sense of guilt still lingered. He would love nothing more than to get frisky underneath the hot spray of a shower but-

"I can't I'm dirty." '_If I were to jump in the shower with Grimmjow now I wouldn't even be able to fully enjoy myself.'_

"Didn't you know? I like my mascots a bit _dirty."_

_Ahhh now there was a purr. Hard to resist but Ichigo managed._

"No you can't! I mean gahhhh just let me get the stench off me and-

Grimmjow cut Ichigo off. "What stench?" without further warning the blunet buried his nose in the berry's neck and inhaled deeply. "Smells pretty damn _**good**_ to me." Then he proceeded to lick the heated sun-kissed skin.

Ichigo released a moan and not really knowing what else to do but knowing he should do something the berry entwined his legs around the blunet and pulled him closer.

"Sure you won't reconsider, Ichigo?"

Ichigo sighed, "Fine you can join me for a shower but only if you promise me something first."

Grimmjow hummed and nipped lightly along Ichigo's collarbone, "And what would that be?"

"Promise that we'll shower some where else."

"_Heh_, now you're talking. Where would my berry mascot like to go?"

"We'll discuss that in a bit for now I just want you to kiss me."

Ichigo had never been more thrilled to see the Cheshire cat style grin appear on Grimmjow's chiseled face as he was in that moment.

()

Grimmjow grabbed Ichigo and smashed their mouths together.

Unlike his fantasies where the berry mascot resisted and cursed, reality Ichigo gave as good as he was getting, tangling their warm tongues together and pressing his lithe body even closer.

()

Ichigo let himself get lost in the kiss. He savored the taste of nicotine, mint and all things Grimmjow. He could feel how much the other teen wanted him and it sent his body into overdrive.

He began to hump the blue haired quarterback's leg like a horny canine and died just a little bit when Grimmjow squeezed the fleshy firm globes of his ass.

'_Yeah this is the way it should be. Grimmjow's hands are the only hands I want touching me like this. Every time I experience an orgasm I want it to be the result of what he's doing to me. And when I wake up tomorrow I want to feel the lingering effects.'_

"More!"

Begging wasn't sexy or masculine but Ichigo didn't give a shit.

"Give you more? I don't know if you can handle it can you?"

A challenge. Ichigo was determined to meet it head on.

Cinnamon and coffee browns flash with determination and Ichigo boldly grabbed the blue-haired jock right through his cargo shorts. "Take me out of here and you'll find out for yourself."

In truth part of Ichigo's words were a bluff since he wasn't nearly as confident as he'd like to be-didn't know much outside of what he himself liked, things he'd read/researched and of course whatever the hell that little session with Aizen had been earlier and yeah…it was best not to revisit a road that was better left forgotten.

"Heh," Grimmjow grinned wider, "Some how I had a feeling you'd say something like that." He pecked a chaste kiss on Ichigo's lips and then slapped the oranget's behind. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's get out of here!"

Best thing Ichigo had heard all night and he was all set to follow the jock out the door but there was one tiny problem.

"Uh much as I know you'd like it I can't just walk out the door looking like this." He gestured to his appearance.

"Good point Kurosaki. Wait right here." And with that Grimmjow bounded up the stairs.

Ichigo felt the vein between his brows twitch, mild irritation sinking its way back in. '_Haven't I waited long enough?'_

()

Grimmjow reappeared with a pair of sweats and tossed them at the berry teen. "Try those on."

Ichigo resisted the urge to sniff the blunet's clothes and dressed with out a word.

()

It wasn't a perfect fit seeing as Grimmjow was taller and far more muscular than Ichigo but the berry mascot wasn't exactly drowning in the simple gray ensemble either. Plus it was cozy.

Grimmjow snatched his keys and a black plastic bag from the coffee table and steered Ichigo out the door. The grin hadn't left his face and probably wouldn't any time soon.

()()

"Aren't you going to sit up front?"

Ichigo shook his head and explained his reasons for opting to sit in the back of Grimmjow's pick up.

"I figure I can save us some time."

The blunet raised a brow "Some time? What are you talking about?"

Ichigo felt his face flush as he elaborated, "You know save us some prep time. I figure while you concentrate on driving I'll uh you know get myself ready."

It took less than a minute for the light bulb to go off in Grimmjow's head.

He leered at the smaller teen and purred, "Oh really? So you're telling me that while I'm sitting up front driving with a raging hard on you're gonna be back here playing with yourself?"

"Well..uh yeah I mean I haven't exactly spied on you in the locker room or anything but its pretty obvious you're packing rather large equipment so- Ichigo trailed off and looked away.

Grimmjow nearly lost it and let out a growl. "_**Okay enough!**_ You keep talking like that and I won't be able to stop myself from jumping you right here and now."

Ichigo's face burned even more but he turned to meet the blunet's gaze once more. "Look Grimmjow we'll talk about the possibilities of outdoor sex some other time. For now I just want that hot shower you promised me and a bed to sleep in…I mean once you've had your fill and all."

()()

'_Sleep once I've had my fill? As if!'_

As if Grimmjow would ever have his fill-as if he'd ever get tiered of the firery mascot. He got the general idea of what Ichigo meant though and managed to calm his hard on. "Fine. Where to?"

Ichigo looked thoughtful for a moment and then snapped his fingers. "I've got it! My cousin has a guesthouse. He's hardly ever around but always leaves a spare key under the door mat."

'_Heh, a love hotel woulda been better but I did promise him I'd take him where he wished to go so-'_

"So where's he live?"

"Eh? A bit of a ways away."

"Meaning what? 20 minutes? 30? An hour?" Grimmjow wasn't sure he'd be able to hold out that long especially if his berry really did intend on playing with himself like he said he would. He would try though…if only to please Kurosaki.

"Why are you acting so grouchy all of a sudden?" Ichigo pouted adorably just then and Grimmjow gnawed on the inside of his cheek and growled out, "I'm not grouchy I'm fuckin' horny, there's a big difference _**Kurosaki."**_

Ichigo's pouting face quickly transformed into a scowl. "I like it better when you call me Ichigo."

"Heh, yeah well I've decided I'm only gonna call you by your first name during _special_ times." Grimmjow fished inside his pocket for a cigarette and lighter. He decided if he couldn't have Ichigo right away then he needed the next best thing…his beloved nicotine. Lighting up and taking a drag he added, "Like when I'm inside you."

()()

In the end Grimmjow and Ichigo never actually managed to make it to the guesthouse.

Half way through the drive Ichigo had released what surely had to be the sexiest and most sinful of moans Grimmjow had ever heard. The blunet had no choice but to finally give into temptation and take a peek in the rear view mirror.

Ichigo's skin was flushed, the muscles in his face contorting-brows scrunched together as if in deep concentration or near the edge of bliss, biting down on his pouty perfect shaped mouth as he used one hand to pump the peach-colored organ in between his well muscled legs while his other hand moved lower and he pressed and curled his slim digits into his shapely behind.

Lusty brown eyes peeked out from beneath vibrant orange lashes and Grimmjow's hand slipped off the wheel causing the truck to swerve dangerously.

Several drivers sounded their horns and the jock snapped to and quickly regained control over the wheel, pulled over, shifted into park and climbed into the back.

()

If the berry mascot was startled he hid it well. It was most likely just the simple matter that Ichigo hadn't recovered from is orgasm.

"I'm not even going to ask when you started to strip because at this point I really couldn't give a flying fuck, just raise that tight little ass of yours higher and wrap your legs around me so we can do this."

Lust filled mind and all Ichigo received the message loud and clear and willingly complied.

()()

Tossing his fantasies of a perfect night filled with slow seduction and sap-happy romance Grimmjow only waited for Ichigo's official nod of consent before plowing in with a mighty roar.

()()

_**THE END**_

()()

**THANK YOU FOR READING/WATCHING/REVIEWING!**

NOTES:

"_CHEESE AND RICE JEAGERJAQUES! WHAT THE FUCK YA THINK YOU'RE DOING SPACING OUT BEHIND THE FUCKING WHEEL?" (1)_

**I'm not comfortable taking the Lord's name in vain and even though a guy like Nnoitra wouldn't give two shits less…I decided to make him a little more "saint-like" since he is Catholic and all. **

The duo was constantly together even though they were total and complete opposites. Literally like night and day. Nakim was a heavy-set teen with dark and harsh features, never spoke a word, crafty with his large hands. Ilfort was tall and slim with light and soft features, carried himself with pride, as elegant as a swan but with a temper like a bull. (2)

**The idea of these two as a couple just kind of came to me randomly. Shrugs, the more I thought about it the more I liked it. That's pretty much it.**

Deciding to tune his friend out with the radio…the sound of Masakazu's raspy tenor is soothing and helps calm his nerves. (3)

_When the sun is climbing over everything, I will start walking again._

_My everyday is piling up, becoming memories_

_Piling up in my heart_

_Every time morning comes, I look at what's right in front of me_

_The coloring begins_

_It's fading, slightly I sense something_

_I look over my shoulder_

_Every time things that you couldn't remember increase, even if you've stopped and even if you're standing there_

_That "name" behind the tears, if I could remember it then nothing else would matter_

_It's the unchangeable "world" since the beginning_

_More than ever I feel like I could even hear my heart's voice_

_I keep on hiding and hiding it but then it makes me unnatural to pretend to be tough_

_I couldn't say things well, I couldn't nod in approval properly, if this continues,the moment I gaze at your eyes let it echoes somewhere inside my heart_

_That unchangeable "world" since the beginning_

_If there is space between our hearts_

_must be the fault of this over conscious feeling_

_If we're back to "our usual selves"_

_again we'll become one_

**I have a habit of using translated lyrics in parts of my GrimmxIchi fics…normally its Grimmjow's seiyuu…the beloved Suwabe Junichi that "grace us with his presence" but this time around Ichigo's seiyuu Morita Masakazu decided to "grace us with his presence" LOL…seriously though if you haven't heard the BLEACH character albums or pretty much any song by Suwabe Junichi….you are missing out my dears!**

**()()**

**In closing SLY would like to let you in on a little secret. When the idea first sprung to mind it was nothing like this at all. Ichigo had a crush but he wasn't a mascot and Grimmjow was ****not**** a love-sick puppy who got so caught up in his day dreams and yeah. Also when the idea first sprung to mind Aizen was supposed to be even more twisted and perverse and Grimmjow was supposed to find Ichigo bound in shackles and shit but…I thought well a couple of things 1) It's not really my style 2) It's not exactly original and 3) I don't know how I could have achieved a happy ending if I wrote something like that.**

**Anyway I hope you all enjoyed! Now that I have completed this one-shot it is time for me to refocus my energy on Drunken Seahorse and Skirting Through Life.**

**Til next time**

**~SLY~**


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